Chapter 4
Tyler
My day started off normal. Two guys were working on their form for their latest competition. Stephanie came in. She’d had a setback overnight with binging and I told her it meant nothing, and we would be on track again today. She smiled her tremulous smile. Eating disorders were common in the health field. Either people were getting over them or trying to conquer them. The lifestyle trends of fast food and easy living meant I had my work cut out for me and I saw people like Stephanie every week.
Shane was getting married in two days and I wanted to make sure I had a place when they came back from their wedding night. They could only take a day off and would have an official honeymoon when summer break started in a few months. I was still the best man and I would double check the evening for the whole “take him out to the titty bars” tradition.
I wanted to make sure I was out of the house in the next two days. That was the deadline I was giving myself. That way, I wouldn’t impede on their newfound wedded bliss. It was nice to see him happy. He had always been very particular with the women he dated, and the fact he’d met Becky at a teacher’s conference when he asked her for a pen of all things, seemed to speak volumes. You just never knew. As my mind wandered in that direction, I noticed the woman with the lavender outfit from yesterday hadn’t come in. I really hoped I hadn’t scared her off.
I glimpsed one of my fellow trainers checking his schedule and asked him, “John, you moved into a new apartment not long ago. What site do you recommend I use to find a place?”
“I went through Rentals in the City. It’s a legit site.”
“Thanks, man.” It sounded safe and secure. Last thing I wanted was a psychopathic roommate. I’d look when I got home since I had a full schedule. With my background and references, I should be able to get a new place in no time. I wasn’t too worried about it.
I went over to the cologne shoot and spent my afternoon there. Since it wasn’t too far from Times Square and it was a beautiful spring morning, I decided to walk from the studio to where my billboard looked down on the Square below. I had never had one in such a prominent place before and I was thrilled. I enjoyed the double takes, too, as I walked around near the oversized image of myself hanging above. Prices were too expensive for food, but I grabbed a cup of coffee to celebrate.
I caught a cab over to Twist. I had called Steven earlier, so he knew I had a gig going on and might be a little bit late coming to work. With New York full of model and actor hopefuls who worked at bars, he was good about going the extra mile for us. The rumor mill had it that he had been a B actor back in the day, and he’d decided that he didn’t like the uncertainty of where the next meal was coming from so he went into business.
When I finally got home at the end of the night, exhausted knowing I had another daunting day tomorrow before the bachelor’s party, I pulled up the site John told me about. It looked decent and the places listed on there were expensive but within my range and in nice areas. While I was signing up, Shane came out and sat next to me at the dining room table.
“I didn’t want to ask you to leave,” he finally said.
“I know that, but then you really should have the place for Becky and you. You’re getting married for God’s sake.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course, I mind, asshole, but it’s not a big thing.”
“There’ve been quite a few changes for you this year.”
I clenched my jaw. I had an idea where he was going with his line of thought and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I steered the conversation back to him. “I know that Becky and you are starting your life together. It’ll be a lot easier for me to find a place than for the two of you to go find a place, especially in the housing market today.”
“I appreciate it.”
“I make really good money and I’ll be able to find someplace adequate. Not as nice as this, but okay.”
He laughed. The apartment was fine, dated but it was still going strong and we had a good landlord.
I brought up my personal concern. “Looks like I’ve been relegated to cologne ads now.”
“Oh, shit,” he said with a grimace on his face. “Isn’t that what you said is the death knell of a model?”
“Between that and car ads – unless you’re Matthew McConaughey.”
He laughed. Then sobering, he said, “I know you probably don’t want my opinion, but you always wanted to go back to your master’s degree before you started working all these jobs. Maybe it’s something to revisit. Sports medicine or psychology, maybe?
I leaned back in my chair, sighing. “All I’ve been thinking about since you told me about Becky and you getting married is the fact that here I am at twenty-seven, no real job, no real future, and I look at you, getting on with your life. Granted, you just met Becky and I really don’t understand that, but it’s a hell of a lot better than what I have going on right now.” I sighed and shook my head. “But you seem good for each other and on track for what life’s supposed to bring. Here I am struggling the same way I did once we got out of college, hand to mouth.”
“Not quite hand to mouth anymore. You’re bringing in a quite a bit of money as a model and trainer, and you work security for the hottest night club in town.”
“I am, but it’s life in general. How am I going to get through all this without my wingman?”
He slugged me in the arm. “Don’t think too deeply into it. Just enjoy the journey. I am.”
He left the room, and I shook my head in puzzlement. People in love always saw life through rosy glasses. I never thought I would see Shane like that. Life was full of changes.
I thought about what he said about going back to school. I had the money for it but I was sure that if I needed to, I could talk to my uncles. I wasn’t desperate, not by a long shot, but heading back to live with my uncles seemed like a step back instead of forward.
It was funny. People would see my face up on a billboard and think that I’d made it. The billboard’s image didn’t show the insecurity that I feel. It portrayed a confidence that isn’t always there. It was just the package they’re buying. Once you were no longer in their face anymore, people would forget you.
As I sat at the computer and knew sleep would still elude me for a bit, I searched the internet for master’s programs at New York University. It wasn’t cheap, but I could look forward to going back to school. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became. I thought about the opportunities—I could get steady work instead of waiting for the next phone call for a gig. Security was beginning to seem like it might not be such a bad thing.
I also didn’t see myself at thirty still being able to do the same things I was doing now. I needed to be able get out there and make things happen. To help people to be the best they could be. Wasn’t that the whole point?
I continued at the computer, emailing about a dozen places from the rental site about meeting them tomorrow. I wanted to make sure I was out of this apartment before Shane and Becky came back. I called and double-checked with the strip club for tomorrow’s bachelor party, as they were still open, and everything was all set.
Before I closed my computer and got ready for bed, I noticed I had emails back from about six of the different places I had contacted. I was looking forward to being in a new place for the first time in six years. It was both scary and rejuvenating. Feeling sure of myself, I headed to bed. I had this.