Chapter 7
Allison
Eyes still closed, I rolled and stretched. My muscles were deliciously sore from last night’s sex with Joshua. How he moved…it was incredible. I was amazed he could barely keep rhythm on the dance floor when he moved with such prowess in bed. I grinned to myself, remembering how much fun dancing had been. How it had led to our first night together. When he’d gone down on me that first night, I’d thought I would die because I couldn’t even contain that many good feelings.
Even though I’d just had him last night, I wanted more.
I reached toward him, but his side of the bed was cool and empty. He must’ve been up for a while. I sat up and wrapped the sheet around my breasts to fight off the morning’s chill.
His room was functional and large, with a sensitivity found in the very few pieces of artwork on the walls, and one giant mirror that must have cost a fortune. It faced the bed, and I wondered if he’d been able to see us in it last night as we sat on the edge. I didn’t feel embarrassed, though. So what if he saw my naked ass? He made me feel like the most gorgeous creature on the planet.
The bathroom door was open, so he wasn’t in there. I needed a shower. Grabbing my make-up bag with the bare essentials (the few things I could fit into the handbag I’d taken on our date last night), I scooted into the bathroom. The water was soft and warm, reminding me of his fingers. I wish he’d stayed in bed. We could’ve had more sex before heading our separate ways for the weekend.
I smiled to myself again. I never would have thought I’d be thinking these things about anyone, much less Joshua. My previous boyfriends had never stuck around for long, and they certainly hadn’t been as good as Joshua was in bed. You’re going to come now, he’d said. Nobody had ever been so communicative, so considerate…
After getting dressed and putting on some make-up, I headed out of Joshua’s bedroom to search for him. I carried my purse with me because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find his bedroom on my own again. Last time we’d made love, I hadn’t stayed the night, so I never got the tour of his house. Not “house,” I reminded myself. “Mansion.” Or maybe “palace.” This place was huge. I’d be surprised if I didn’t get lost in it.
“Oh lover boy,” I called. “Where are you?”
No answer. I had time. I had plans with Jess today, but wanted to spend at least another hour or so here, if Joshua didn’t have early plans.
I peeked into one room after another. Three bedrooms. Four. An opulent guest bathroom, designed in marble and chrome. Modern and tasteful, but opulent just the same. It was the same understated richness that seemed to follow Joshua wherever he went. Not for the first time, I wondered why Jamie didn’t have that aura.
I passed a few more bedrooms. There was an office here, too, but it was larger and more personal than Joshua’s office at work. The colors were muted and understated, a lot like the Scintilla colors and logo. They were perfect for him. Masculine. Cool, but not cold. They invited me in, but maybe I’d explore this room more some other time. I still had a desk-related sex fantasy I wanted to play out. God, I was getting so turned on. I hoped I found him soon.
I padded down the hallway, my feet sinking into thick rugs, until I came to the living room. I recognized this place. We’d barely paused here to start kissing, before Joshua had hauled me up to his bedroom like some kind of hot caveman.
And there he was. He sat in front of the fireplace, gripping a book. He wasn’t reading it, though. Instead he was staring at the empty grate as if trying to make it catch fire by his will alone.
I empathized with the fireplace. Joshua could turn me on like that.
He didn’t turn to look at me when I came into the room. Maybe he was just distracted, and didn’t really see me, yet. A small part of me wondered if I hadn’t put on enough make-up…if somehow I was still invisible to him like I was at the office. But I shoved the thought aside. I shouldn’t have to worry about things like this.
“Hey, you,” I said, starting forward. He looked strong and comfortable. I wanted to climb into the chair beside him, be as close as possible. Maybe relive some of last night’s hotter moments. “Is there room enough for me? We could squeeze.”
He finally looked up from the fireplace. His expression was so cold, I changed my earlier notion. He wasn’t trying to start a fire in that fireplace, he was trying to freeze it.
He didn’t say anything. He just gave me that cold stare.
“What’s wrong?” My throat felt so tight, I could barely get the words out. I felt like I had on our first date—nervous, unsure. So anxious I didn’t think I could stand straight.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What’s wrong is you’ve been lying to me this entire time.”
I felt like all the air had been kicked out of me.
“Lying to you?” I couldn’t even think of what I’d been lying about. Every part of me had been laid bare for him to see. I’d shared everything about myself.
“Is this whole thing some kind of fucking joke?” he asked.
My heart started pounding, thundering in my ears. I took a step back, knocking into the low coffee table. His mask of anger morphed into one of concern for the barest of seconds, before turning back to anger again.
I caught my balance on the edge of the couch. “A joke? There’s no joke here. I—last night—none of this could be a joke, Joshua. What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about who you really are, Allison. Seems you have two faces.” His voice was level, but twin spots of color had bloomed on his cheeks. He set his book onto the table next to him with a careful, controlled movement.
I gasped. So that’s what he meant. “You mean you really didn’t know?”
“Know what? That you’ve been lying to me?”
So he hadn’t recognized me, all this time. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed to be seen with me, or too busy to notice me. He just really did not recognize me. And now that he finally knew the truth, he’d finally seen it… it wasn’t the welcome revelation I’d been hoping for. I didn’t know what I had expected, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.
“I should’ve talked to you about it sooner,” I said.
Tears sprang to my eyes. I wanted him to understand. I should’ve told him sooner, but I’d been enjoying everything about his attention, how he’d finally really seen me during our dates…I hadn’t wanted to mess anything up. I couldn’t say any of this out loud, though. I felt vulnerable enough as it was.
“You think?” he shouted. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’re just the frumpy pantsuit-wearing woman at the office who doesn’t know how to talk to me?”
His words stung. Worse than stung. They cut me in such a fundamental way, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to talk. But just past the hurt, I found what I needed. I found my anger.
I pointed a shaking finger at him. “Don’t get all high and mighty with me, Joshua Tolbert. How freaking shallow could you be? I’ve been in front of you this entire time. I’m not wearing any disguises. But at work, you couldn’t even remember my name. You didn’t even see me.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand. “Stop. Just stop,” I said. “I thought there was more to you once I finally got to know you. More than the ridiculous jerk I’d been crushing on at the office, the one with thousands of girlfriends, the one who couldn’t be a real man for long enough to settle down. But now I see I was completely and utterly wrong about you.”
I turned around, not even wanting to see his reaction to my words. Likely, he didn’t even care. I stormed from the living room to the grand entryway by the door, dialing a cab company as I went and trying not to trip on the ledge leading from the sunken living room.
I marched outside, not caring that the morning was chilly; I couldn’t be in the same square mile as that man for a single second more. Then I slammed the front door behind me. A cheap parting shot, but now, it was all I had.