Chapter 6
Joshua
When Allison started walking down the aisle, I could’ve sworn the music swelled. The roses lining the path seemed more fragrant, and the sun shone even more stunning, its light kissing each of the wedding guests, but kissing Allison, perhaps, the longest.
Just like I wanted to do.
She looked just as beautiful as she had when we’d started dating six months ago. Her brown hair was maybe a little longer, but still curved in waves over her neck and shoulders. She was carrying a bouquet, though, so she couldn’t tuck any strands behind her ears.
The wedding was outdoors, in the late afternoon at a quaint bed and breakfast with extensive gardens. The air wasn’t cold, but it promised a crispness. I knew I’d be surrendering my jacket to Allison later on, to keep her bare shoulders warm.
She looked radiant as she approached me, walking slowly. With a smile, she winked at me. I managed to smile back at her, but it tore me up when she kept walking past to stand at the front near the priest who would officiate the marriage.
Not our marriage, I told myself. Her friend’s. But damn if I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of premonition here this evening. In a few months’ time, maybe…
I shook those thoughts aside and tried to concentrate, at least a little bit, on Jess and Jeremy’s vows. Still, my mind kept wandering to what kind of ceremony Allison would like, whether she’d want it to be outdoors or indoors, whether she’d want a big party or a smaller, family affair. Jess and Jeremy had opted for a family affair, but Jess’s aunt owned this property, and the gardens were gorgeous with fall foliage, yellows, reds, and oranges lighting up the trees.
If Allison could choose a time of year to be married, when would she choose? I pictured her as more of a spring bride.
I was getting too far ahead of myself again.
When the ceremony was over, Allison walked straight over to me. Her hips swayed gently in her shimmery blue dress.
“You look amazing,” I said, kissing her cheek.
She glanced down at herself and smiled. “The best part of being maid of honor at a fashion diva’s wedding? My bridesmaid dress rocks.”
The Mad Dog Harmonics were almost done setting up at the edge of the gardens. Even though Allison had told me she didn’t need me throwing money around for her and her friends, when I’d heard Jess was getting married, I’d insisted on helping with the music.
“Maybe it’s time for you to rock that bridesmaid dress,” I said, as the band began playing.
“No, first it’s the bride and groom. Then other people can join,” she said.
I contented myself with wrapping my arm around her waist and kissing her hair. Hugging Allison was like feeling at home.
“Okay, everyone else out on the floor!” Seth, the lead singer, shouted into the mike.
Allison pulled me toward the floor, shimmying next to me. My girlfriend could move. It was all I could do to make a show of keeping up with her.
Chris danced past us, his arms locked around a curvy woman.
“What’s Christopher doing here?” Allison asked. She had to press herself into me and lean forward to talk over the music.
“He’s friends with Jeremy,” I said. “I didn’t even know until he showed up at the bachelor party last week.”
“About that party,” Allison said. “Can you tell me anything about it?”
I smiled. “We all behaved ourselves, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I believe you,” she said, laughing. “I don’t have anything to worry about. I never really did.”
“And you never really will.” I traced her jawline and lifted her chin so I could kiss her. She tasted like champagne and strawberries.
She snuggled into my shoulder, sighing contentedly. “Hey, your phone is vibrating,” she said.
I checked the screen. “Jamie. I’ll call him later.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Loving Europe, last we talked.” Jamie had gone to England to take some courses and explore some new ideas for Tolbert & Tolbert. He was actually checking in with some great ideas. “He’s been in touch nonstop,” I said. “He’s hoping to do some traveling in France and Italy before coming back next month.”
“I’m not surprised. It sounds like these sorts of travels would be right up his alley. This was a good decision for him.”
We nearly bumped into Chris and his date again, and Allison waved at them, but the music was still too loud for us to talk. Besides, Chris had a focused look on his face—he didn’t want to be distracted from his date. With satisfaction, I noticed that she looked the same way. Another happy couple—I smiled. The world was turning into a better place.
“So who’s Chris with, anyway?” Allison asked.
“Well, I’m not sure exactly,” I said, “but I think he might have met her through Scintilla.”
“No,” she said with mock seriousness. “I don’t believe it. People can’t find love through an app or a website.”
“Can’t they?” I tugged her closer to me, feeling her hips rocking with the beat.
“Well…maybe.”
“You don’t sound convinced,” I said. “Do you need convincing?”
She grinned mischievously. “Maybe.”
This was my opening. My hands felt sweaty with nerves, but I had to play it cool. I didn’t want her to suspect anything.
“Maybe you should go for a walk with me,” I suggested. “I can convince you then.”
“Joshua, I don’t want to do anything naughty at Jess’s wedding.” Her tone was stern.
“Don’t worry—your reputation will remain spotless. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her day. I just want to get away from everyone for a while.”
She took my hand without hesitation and let me lead her down a meandering path through the gardens. It reminded me of my dad’s club, and I briefly thought of that amazing time we’d had in the boathouse. I wanted to remind Allison of it, too, but it wasn’t the right tone for the conversation I really wanted to have with her.
As we walked, Allison brushed her fingers against flowers that lined the path. She found joy in everything. I watched her and rehearsed some of what I wanted to say, too nervous for words. I couldn’t approach her with a script, because I wasn’t rehearsing lines. I was hoping to convince her that I would be her best choice, for always.
We came to a small pond covered in lily pads. The sun had set, and a series of lanterns gave off a soft light, making the place feel romantic. A fountain statue of Venus rising was set back on one edge, and the tinkling sound of water added atmosphere. This would be the perfect place.
I led Allison to a stone bench and put my jacket down so she could sit on it.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked.
She cocked her head to the side. “Of course. Anytime.”
“Good.” I took a deep breath. “This is really hard for me. I’ve never done this before.”
She gave me a puzzled look. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything’s great. I just…I need to say something,” I said. The words didn’t come out at first. Would she think this was too soon? It might seem like it to some people, but it felt right to me. Oh god, what if it didn’t feel right to her? But she was smiling down at me, waiting for me to continue. I cleared my throat. “You make me a better person. You bring out the hidden parts of me that are great, and you make them shine. I’ve grown so much since I met you, I hardly recognize myself.”
Smiling, she said, “I like to think that I’ve grown into a better person since meeting you, too.”
I could only nod. She’d blossomed—both of us had—and I could only imagine what the next years would be like, if we continued to learn from each other, and continued to develop as people and as lovers.
I tried to speak again, but could only cough. It was getting harder to choke the words out. I’d never been so nervous in my entire life. “I love you, Allison,” I said. “I love your intelligence, your judgment, your good humor, and your kindness. I love the way you smile in your sleep. I love the little throaty sound you make when I kiss you. I love your clear picture of the present, and your vision for the future. I love everything about you.”
Her eyes shone with emotion. I took her hand and knelt down on one knee.
She brought her other hand up to her mouth, trying to hide her face. “Joshua? What are you doing?”
“Allison Mahoney,” I said, “I’m in love with you, and every day, I fall even deeper in love with you.”
By now, tears were flowing down her cheeks, but at least, thank god, she was smiling. I pulled the ring from my pocket and held it up so the lanterns along the pond could illuminate the diamond surrounded by three sapphires. Allison’s eyes grew wide.
“This was my mother’s,” I said. “It’s not the fanciest or most expensive ring my money could buy, but it’s the most precious.”
She was still smiling, and crying, and looking so damn lovely I could barely stand it.
“I know it might seem rushed, because we’ve only been together for a few months. But nothing has ever felt more right to me in my entire life.” I took her hand in mine. “Please, make me the happiest man in the world, and agree to be my wife.”
“It does seem soon,” she said. “But I feel the same way. Maybe, with a long engagement…”
“Then, you mean—are you saying yes, Allison?” I could feel all of my hope and vulnerability plain on my face, and I’d never felt so raw and exposed. Here she had the power to break me, for good.
She nodded, breathing heavily, and it didn’t seem like she’d be able to speak. Finally she tugged on my arms until I was leaning right against her. “Yes,” she whispered in my ear. “Yes.”
I placed the engagement ring on her finger, then kissed her and held her tight. I was never going to let her go.