Elliott

 

I’d planned on going for a run in the park, so I walk to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle while Sailor talks to Carrie. The chick steam-rolled her way into my place, determined to ensure her friend was safe, so I’m guessing she heard from Sailor recently.

While screwing the lid on my bottle, I hear the door open to the terrace. Sailor steps into the kitchen and leans against the doorframe.

Her shiny dark hair is up and sexy, and I wish I could have a look at what’s beneath the towel wrapped around her petite body.

“My friend’s still outside, and if you don’t mind, she’d like to chat with you while I get ready. We’re going out for a while.” Sailor averts her gaze to the wall.

“Carrie’s been my best friend since I started college, so she knows a little about our history and wants to get to know you.”

“It’s not a problem.”

She looks back at me. “I apologize in advance.”

“I live with Jake–the detective. I’m used to interrogations.” I smirk at her, and she smiles back, relaxing a little.

“Um, are you going to be around later today, like tonight even?” she asks.

“Yep.”

“I thought you’d be with Nicole.”

“Nicole and I aren’t talking right now.”

“Oh, OK.”

“Go out with me tonight. Let’s do something fun.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who engages in fun.”

“Damn, how uptight do you think I am?”

She giggles. “I guess that sounded rude, but you’re … you know, broody.”

“Broody?”

“Yes, and many other adjectives like sullen, somber, pensive, earnest—”

“OK, I get it, but I can have fun. I even dance.” Grinning at her, I feel my cheeks warm. Why the hell did I say that?

“Oh, this I have to see.”

“Is that a yes then?”

“I’ll let Carrie decide.” She winks at me, and damn, it makes me feel things I shouldn’t.

“I better bring my A game then.”

“Good luck.”

Sailor pads past me and out of the kitchen. I walk back to the terrace and find her friend admiring the view from a patio chair.

“Hi. You wanted to talk?”

“If you’re down for it. If not, I’ll be taking Sailor with me for good.”

I chuckle. “I’m not holding her prisoner.”

“I know this will come as a shock, but I’m actually quiet and reserved, much like Sailor. I’m only abrasive when I feel protective, and right now, I feel it big time.”

Sighing, I take a seat across from her.

“OK, what can I say to ease your mind?”

“I love Sailor like a sister, so I want to know your intentions.”

“I don’t expect her to forgive me for the past, but I’m hoping to regain her trust. I don’t know what she told you, but hurting Sailor was never my intention.”

“But you did, and to a depth I can’t even express. I’ve tried to help her get over you for years, and I can already see that you’re fucking up my hard work.”

“I can’t say I’m sorry if she’s not over me, and not to be disrespectful, but you don’t know both sides of the story, so I feel you have no place to judge.”

“Maybe, but what I do know is Sailor shouldn’t have to feel another ounce of pain in her lifetime. I don’t care if you become her friend again, or even more than her friend, as long as you’re good to her. Same goes for your other roomie, Jake. Either of you break her heart, and you’ll have me to answer to.”

“No one will keep me away from Sailor again.”

“You say that like someone prevented you from talking to her all these years.”

I glance away. “All you need to know is that I will be in her life until she tells me not to be, and even then, I wouldn’t give up without a fight.”

“Well, good luck. You’re going to need it.”

 

***

I’m on the couch when Sailor comes through the door, carrying several shopping bags.

“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be back down,” she says.

“Do you need help?”

“I’ve got it.”

As I wait for her to return, I notice how my pulse has quickened. I seldom experience excitement or adrenaline rushes outside the ER, but I’m finding I feel that whenever I’m near Sailor. It’s getting stronger each time, and maybe that’s because my feelings for her have come out of hibernation.

I hear her walking down the steps before she strolls into the living room. Instead of sitting by me on the couch, she chooses to sit in a chair next to it.

“Did you have a good time with Carrie?”

“Yes. She’s heading back to Boston.”

“What’s the verdict? Or, should I ask … what’s her verdict?”

A flush of pink creeps up Sailor’s neck to her cheeks.

“To my surprise, she approved of me going out with you.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I think so. I mean, I know it’s what I want, but every time I spend time with you it makes my life more complicated.”

“Then don’t think about it. Just do it.”

“There are consequences to our actions. By not considering those consequences, I could pay a price for it later.”

Blowing out a breath, I grip the back of my neck.

“Did I really fuck up your life that bad?”

“I guess I seem like the uptight one now.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t want to answer your question. Look, you’re not all to blame. We made immature, rash decisions because we were kids. I see that now that I’m getting to know you and Jake as adults. We’re not those teenagers anymore.

“But, I waited for you, thinking that if you came back for me, it would make what I went through with Rebecca’s death, and the shit I dealt with afterward, worth it.”

I don’t reply as I consider telling her why I haven’t spoken to her in all these years, but it would only cause her more pain.

Coming over and sitting next to me, Sailor takes hold of my hand.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this after all the years I was angry at you, but I’m sorry I made you feel so guilty about the past. While spending time with Carrie today, I realized it’s not doing us any good to keep discussing how much you hurt me by not reaching out. We can’t move forward if I can’t forgive you for the past.”

“I agree.”

Looking down at our hands, she rubs her fingers over my knuckles. “I’ve never wanted to admit it, but even though I was young and immature when I made those bad decisions, I was smart enough to know your heart belonged to my sister. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to think differently.”

She clenches her eyes shut, and I’ve quickly discovered that the past brings forth tears in Sailor in seconds. I feel one touch my hand she’s holding, and it fucking hurts.

I cup her cheek, and my fingers slip into her hair behind her ear.

“Sailor, I told you back then that I loved you.”

“You did … once while you were drunk. Then, you left and never came back. After a few years passed, it was kind of hard to believe you ever cared at all.”

She’s right. Even if I had a good reason for never seeing her again, she doesn’t know that. How could I expect her not to be bitter?

“I’ll tell you what I would say to myself back then, even before Rebecca died. If only I could be with Sailor. She’s sweet, funny, thoughtful and happier. I wanted you to be the one I could be with, but I’d already dated your sister for years, and you were too young.”

Lifting her head, she stares at me with her dark eyes. The irises, shining from tears, appear painted on from a brush dipped in liquid black ink.

Drawn on them are years of pain, and I wish her tears could wash them away. Instead, they’re only a reminder of how much I hurt her.

“I’m still struggling to understand why you didn’t want to contact me all those years, so my trust is going to be harder for you to gain, but I forgive you, Elliott. I forgive you, and I want us to be friends.”

Friends… I clear my throat after the sting from hearing that word starts to close it off. The thought of her loving Jake and only being my friend incites panic and anger.

I hardly know the adult version of Sailor, so you’d think it wouldn’t irritate me. I should be happy for Jake if she chooses him, but I fucking hate even the thought of it.

“Say something,” she murmurs.

“Tell me I can kiss you.”

Lowering her head, she shakes it.

“No … at least, not yet.”

I exhale the overwhelming relief. There’s something more between us than friendship, and she knows it.