Sailor

 

“I’m glad we’re walking. It’s nice out this evening,” I say to Elliott as we stroll down the sidewalk not far from the condo. Resting his hand at the small of my back, he points toward the door of the Mermaid Oyster Bar.

“We’re here. I hope you still like seafood.”

“I do.” The place is busy, so we take two available stools at the bar. I’m careful while crossing my legs so my thin bohemian dress doesn’t ride up too far. The burgundy patterned mini is embellished with pink, white and blue shapes, and I paired it with suede ankle boots.

“What would you like to drink?” Elliott asks before his eyes can’t help but steal a glimpse of my thighs.

“What are you drinking?”

“Beer.”

“I’ll have the same. Are you ordering oysters?”

“Yep. I bet you want them, too?” He displays a grin, and somehow, he still knows I’m not eating damn oysters.

“Like hell I want them. I think I’ll have the lobster roll.”

We order dinner after the waiter brings us our beers, so as I sip on mine, I look around the restaurant.

“You’re thinking … a lot,” he says.

“How do you remember so much about me?”

“I paid attention. We did eat together often while I dated Rebecca.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you remember a lot about me?”

“I do.”

“Then what’s the difference?”

“I’m … never mind.”

“No, say it.”

“Since I believed you didn’t think of me for a decade, I’m surprised you remember my likes and dislikes, but you said you did think of me, so that’s why I said never mind.”

Looking straight ahead, he takes a lengthy drink of his beer.

“It’s going to take time, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but we have time.”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether you continue to fall for Jake. If that’s the case, then I feel like I have little time to right the past.”

“You make it sound like you want more than a friendship with me.”

Turning his head, he gazes into my eyes.

“I do, and since you like to think so much, what do you think about that?”

Stalling, I take another drink of my beer.

“I’m thinking the same thing I was last night. What I want and what’s best for me are two different things.”

“If you choose Jake only because you think he’s what’s best for you, it will never work. Trust me; I’ve been trying to force that with women for years.”

“It’s too soon to know what will happen between Jake and me.”

Our food arrives, and I’m relieved. Our conversations this weekend have been too serious. He’s persistent and willful, whereas the young Elliott was a pushover. I have to admit, the confident, determined Elliott is a turn-on.

“A doctor, huh? I thought you were going to law school.”

“I was. Then, I wised up. My father was a judge, and look how he behaved when he wasn’t wearing his robe. I didn’t want a career even remotely close to his.”

“Would you say you did it to spite him?”

“A little, but when I couldn’t save Rebecca, I decided right then I’d spend the rest of my life saving others.”

I slide my hand over his leg. “That’s noble and selfless.”

“I call it redemption. If I’d been smart enough not to drive that night, she might still be alive.”

“You don’t know that. If we hadn’t left the party, she might’ve gone for a swim in the ocean and drowned. Rebecca often went swimming when she was upset. It was dark, and she was drunk. There are too many unknowns, so you can’t blame yourself. Maybe it was her time to go.”

“I still should’ve tried harder to save her. Now, I’m trained to do that.”

“Look, I know these heavy conversations are necessary, but you promised me fun tonight, and you’re being a lousy date.” Giggling, I squeeze his knee and kiss his cheek. “Let’s eat before your oysters get warm.”

He chuckles. “I did promise fun, so I’m taking you to a comedy show.”

 

***

“Maybe I’ll get my own place in the Village,” I say as we walk inside the condo. “The area’s growing on me.”

“I was surprised at first by how much I liked it here. So, did I manage to provide you with some fun?” He turns on the tall lamp next to the couch before facing me.

“Well, the comedian did.” I wink at him. “I’m kidding. The company was great, too. But, I’m a little disappointed.”

He wrinkles his forehead. “About what?”

“You told me you could dance, and I thought I was going to get the chance to see it.”

After gazing at me several seconds, he walks over to the entertainment center and pops his cell phone into the deck on a Bluetooth speaker system.

“I could give you a better laugh than the comedian if I showed you my club-dancing skills, but I’d prefer to maintain some level of coolness in your eyes. Only Maddie gets to see my tragic dance moves.”

My eyes grow round. “You spend time with Madeline?”

“On occasion. Jake watches her here sometimes.”

“Oh, right. I love her already. She’s the sweetest girl, and she’s bright, too.”

“Maddie is smart. I’ve been teaching her medical terms, and it’s hilarious when she repeats the long words back to me.”

“That reminds me of when she said her mom had incarceritis. That situation is sad.”

“Yeah, it sucks, but I’ve learned parents do stupid shit. I see it in the ER every day.”

Turning back to his phone, he pushes buttons, and I hear slow music begin to play.

“Jazz … I like it.”

“I almost took you to Blue Note, the jazz club nearby, but I didn’t know if you’d enjoy it. Can I take you there sometime?”

“If you dance with me now.”

“That was my plan.” Elliott stalks toward me with an air of confidence, along with the same conviction he’s held since the day after we came face to face. He was determined to apologize that morning, and he hasn’t stopped trying to make peace with me since.

It’s an odd experience to feel a strong bond to someone you’re getting to know. Elliott’s different than the young man I once knew, but in some ways, he’s the same.

He holds out his hand for me to take, his proper form almost causing me to snicker. We were taught dance and etiquette as children, and I see he hasn’t forgotten it.

Once my hand’s inside his and my other one’s on his shoulder, he gradually brings me in closer, behaving like the gentleman he was taught to be.

We move our feet, turning to the soothing music, and although his towering height is intimidating, I begin to settle against his warm body.

He relaxes, too, pulling me even closer to him, and all at once, he’s as familiar as my voice. His clean scent over dusty memories... Elliott feels like home.

He’s the teenage boy on the beaches of Southampton, flicking water on my skin and smiling down at me devilishly as I sunbathe on a towel in the sand.

He’s the protective guy at Upper East Side dinner parties, telling boys who wish to dance with me to back the hell off. Elliott’s the broken kid who’d show up in tears at my front door with a busted lip after his dad had too much to drink.

The memories flood my mind, the good and bad, and I discover the reason I’ve refused to go back to the places where I was raised. It’s because once Elliott left them, they were no longer home. I had no choice but to leave them, too.

I find the courage to look up at him, and as his gaze meets mine, I can no longer move my feet. It’s as if his piercing eyes are both the sky and the ocean, and I’ve become trapped between the two.

“Breathe, Sailor Girl.”

I exhale. “I’ve waited ten years to hear you call me that again.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long. Fuck, Sailor, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t. Just kiss me.” His long lashes flutter as he processes the words I don’t believe he was expecting to hear. Wetting his lips, he ducks his head to capture my mouth, and I open it for him, eagerly wanting a taste.

He takes over, kissing me like it’s his one and only shot, and as we make out in the dimly lit living room, it’s as if he’s giving me ten years of missing kisses. I whimper, the urgency to accept them as surprising as my ability to forgive him.

I forgive you, Elliott. Give me all your kisses.