Elliott

 

Me: When are you getting home? I’m here, and we need to talk about Sailor.

Jake: Just parked, but I don’t see how we can fix this fucked-up situation.

I pace in the living room, waiting for Jake to come in. We haven’t seen each other in three days. That’s how long it’s been since we left Sailor’s hotel room, cursing each other all the way to our cars.

I went to work, and this is my first day back home. I texted Sailor a few times this week, but she told me she didn’t want to talk.

Jake walks inside, so I sit on the couch. He shoves his keys in the front pocket of his jeans and takes the chair next to me on my left.

“Have you tried to talk to Sailor?” I ask.

“Yep, and she wants no part of it.”

“Same.”

“I want to talk about the accident before we discuss anything else.”

Puffing out a breath, I lean my head back against the cushion.

“What do you want to know?”

“I need to hear what happened from your mouth to determine if I should be pissed about it.”

“Sailor was telling the truth when she said I didn’t know. She gave the statement to the police before I ever spoke to them. Our parents figured out the truth, but they came to the agreement that none of us would tell.

“Jake, I swear I tried to get Sailor to change her story, to tell the truth, but she wouldn’t budge, and after our parents plotted, they fed me all this bullshit about how it would be worse for Sailor and our families if we came clean.”

“That’s messed up that her own parents would let her live with that.”

“I know. It’s how they were raised and then we were raised. A scandal is the last thing a family like ours wants. They knew it would fuck with their reputations, along with our chances at Ivy League educations. That’s all they cared about.

“But, don’t think for a second that I haven’t lived with the guilt of that night every day since. It’s killed me all these years, and I couldn’t tell a soul. Add the fact I was never supposed to see Sailor again, and the last decade has been a bitch.”

“I’m sorry, bro. I get why you’re the way you are now. It makes sense why Sailor was so freaked out to see you, too. Damn, then there was the baby news on top of it...” He shakes his head. “It’s crazy.”

“I know, and I hope you understand why there have been times I’ve gotten pissed at you. Rebecca’s death wasn’t your fault, but whenever I couldn’t bear the guilt, it was easier to think that you sleeping with her created the chain reaction, but in reality, it didn’t even begin there. Our twisted upbringings started it all.”

Jake nods slowly as if he’s trying to piece together the dysfunction.

“I guess we’re cool then, and I’d like to put the past behind us, too. What did you want to talk about?”

“I think we should reconsider your idea of sharing Sailor.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. You say that now, but you’ll try to get in her head and convince her to pick you.”

“I swear I won’t do that. I see now how serious she was about not choosing, and I wouldn’t risk losing her again.”

“I still don’t know. Every time I had to see you two together, it pissed me off.”

“Maybe it was only because you were worried you’d lose her. If we’re not competing, and we set some basic rules and boundaries, it may work. We can worry about the serious shit and commitments later.

“Like you said, that stuff might work itself out over time. Someone’s feelings could change, meaning someone could want out, but right now, Sailor needs the pressure off her.”

Jake grins. “Are you saying I was right for once?”

“You were right for thinking she’d bail. I should’ve known the guilt would get to her, but I guess I thought I’d win her over before then. I’d rather share her with my best friend than have all three of us miserable.”

“Best friend, huh? You’re really laying it on thick.”

I roll my eyes and smile. “Tell me we’re going to get our girl back.”

“I’m not sure she’d go for it. Sailor’s got a wild side, but she’s also self-conscious and may overthink it.”

Contemplating whether to tell him what I’m thinking, I drag my teeth over my bottom lip.

“I’m going to confess something, and don’t get pissed.”

“OK.”

“The night you fucked Sailor over our dining room table, I was on the terrace, watching.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah, sorry, bro, but it all happened so fast, and I didn’t know if I should stop it. I guess a part of me wanted to know how she acted with you. Anyway, she fucking liked that I was watching.”

Jake’s eyes widen. “She knew?”

“She saw me, and I thought she’d stop you two, and freak out, but instead, she let me watch, and I’m pretty damn sure she enjoyed it.”

He smirks. “Did you enjoy seeing my pecker?”

“Fuck no, but I enjoyed seeing her enjoy it. All I’m trying to say is she might go along with more than you think if she truly wants to be with both of us.

“Look …” I continue, “after all the pain I caused her over the years, I’ll give her anything she wants. If she only wants us to share her separately, when the other is not around, I’ll do it. If she wants to be with both of us at the same time, I’ll do it.”

I might have to wipe the smirk off Jake’s face before it embarrasses me any further.

“I think you liked watching me fuck your girl.”

“I think you need to stop being a douchebag before I change my mind.”

“All right. I agree to make it work if she will. Before we sort out the specifics, we first need to see if she’s willing, and maybe the best way to do that is to show her we’re capable of sharing.”

I grin at him. “I think you want to watch me fuck your girl.”

“Shut up, asshole. I love her … you love her. We have to make sure she doesn’t feel like we’re cheapening her. What happens from here on out is going to be Sailor’s decision.”

Walking over to me, he holds out his hand. “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” I reply, giving him a firm hand shake.

“Let me shower, and then we’ll go get our girl.”