Chapter 26–Jack
I was literally on top of the world just a few hours ago. We couldn’t have had a better start to this tour. We were in our hometown, the crowd loved us, Leila rocked their asses off, and even the after party was the perfect way to celebrate with our friends and family.
That is until she came.
When I got her text I wanted to punch something. She is relentless. I didn’t take her seriously when she admitted she would see me after the show. Fuck, she has no boundaries.
Why was she showing up now? Actually, it’s because she smells success. When I was nothing, she could easily fuck me over and move on. Now that she sees us on the climb to fame, she wants in. The news she dropped on me though, shook me to the core.
When I saw her walk in, I dragged her ass into an empty dressing room so fast her feet barely touched the ground. “Jess, what the fuck are you doing here?” I asked inches from her face.
“Nice to see you too, Jackson.” She replied sweetly.
“Cut the crap. How did you get back here?” She yanked her arm free of my grip and walked a few steps away from me.
“One of the stage hands here is an acquaintance of mine.” She strolled around the room pretending to be interested in it’s décor. “I miss you. You’ve been avoiding me.”
She has got to be kidding. She couldn’t be serious. “I was very clear during our last mistake. I am done. So why are you here?”
“Several reasons, the first one being that I still love you.” She walked closer to me and put her hands on my chest.
I grabbed her hands and she smirked, assuming victory.
I practically spat in her face as I hissed, “Love? You are delusional. You think what happened between us was love?”
Her smile faltered slightly but she recovered quickly. “Yes, I absolutely love you and you love me, too.”
I pushed her away forcibly. “I now know what we had was not fucking love.” Turning my back to her, I attempt to walk out the door.
“You now know? Jackson Lair, you love someone now?” Her words halt me in my tracks.
I neither turned around nor responded. “Oh my God. Jack Lair thinks he’s in love.”
I clenched my fists as she continued. “It’s her, isn’t it? It’s that new singer you hired. I can tell you want into her pants. Or have you already? Is she pulling you around by your dick? Are you confusing that with love?” She stopped to laugh again. “Wait, did she fuck you to get into your precious band?”
I was instantly in her face and she took a step back. “Get the fuck out of here before I have you thrown out.”
She immediately composed herself. Leaning up, she kissed me briefly before I pulled away. “I hit a nerve.” Ignoring my outburst she moved to the couch and calmly sat down. “The second reason I came is to warn you.”
“About what?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“I’ve tried to call and text you, and you’ve been ignoring me. I needed you to know before you left on tour. Regardless of what you think, I do care about you.”
My patience was wearing thin, quickly. “Jessa, just say what you have to say and get the fuck out.” My entire body was shaking. I would never hit a woman, but I wanted to put her through the wall. I haven’t been this angry since high school. Ironically, Jessa was the reason back then as well.
“I ran into Danny.”
“Danny? Danny Sorenson? So?”
“He was pretty upset when he saw me and wanted me to give you a personal message. He said you stole his career and he’s definitely not over it. Jack, he scared me. He looked and sounded so angry. It was definitely a threat.”
What the hell was I supposed to do with this info? Danny Sorenson was the bass player we hired and fired a few years ago. What Jessa told me sent a tiny prick through my body. He is a degenerate drug addict and he could definitely be dangerous. Danny is a dark person. I sense that he wants what he thinks he deserves, especially now that we are on our way to fame. We could take care of ourselves, but if anything happened to Leila because of that maniac, I would kill him with my bare hands.
“Consider me warned. Now get the hell out.”
Jessa stood and walked over to me. My fists were still clenched. She grabbed one of my hands and pried it open. “In spite of what you think Jack, I don’t want anything to ever happen to you.”
I pull away. “Thank you. Are you done?”
“No, there’s one more thing.” She paces the room without speaking. When she finally does, my knees almost gave out on me. “I’m pregnant.”
I felt like I swallowed shards of ice.
This can’t be happening. I won’t let this happen.
Recovering quickly, I arrogantly said, “So?”
“It may be yours.”
Letting out a snort, I said, “Yeah, ok. I’m supposed to believe that.”
“It’s true. I’m about three and a half months along. Do the math. I wanted to tell you sooner but you’ve avoided my texts and calls. So here I am.” I wanted to wipe the smirk right off her face.
“We used a condom. It can’t be mine.”
“Not the second time.”
I was drunk that night, but there is no way I didn’t use a condom. “You’re lying.”
“No, Jack. You took me against the wall, while we were in the middle of an argument. I’m not lying.”
I vaguely remember that. Ironically, with everything she just dumped on me, my thoughts go to Leila instead and the fact that I lied to her about always using a condom.
“I want proof.”
“I’ll have a paternity test, although it’s not necessary. You’re the father.”
“Prove it.”
“You have a lot to digest. Take what I said about Danny seriously. I’ll be in touch regarding a paternity test.” With that she strolled out the door.
How could my life go from fucking amazing to fucking disastrous in a matter of minutes?
I can’t lose Leila over this. We are just starting out our relationship.
I’m going to have to tell her.
I run into the bathroom in time to empty my stomach into the toilet.
As I walked back towards the party in search of more alcohol to replace the amount I just purged, I turned to see Leila and Dylan intimately close to each other.
Her hands were on his chest as she spoke to him. I turned back to the room I came from and grabbed a chair to throw it against the wall.
When I did come back to the party, I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I wanted to cross the room and grab her, claim her, show everyone here she was mine. Instead I cowardly avoided her. I watched her from across the room. Every so often her eyes would search for mine. She knew something was wrong and kept her distance, also giving me mine.
I walked over to be near her and she took the few steps to meet me half way.
“Are you ok?” She asked with concern evident in her eyes. I’m sure she was curious who that woman was and why we were gone for so long. But yet, she didn’t say a word.
She deserves so much better than me.
“I am now.” I stepped a bit closer so our arms touched. Her skin on mine dulling the crushing pain I felt inside myself. “Is everything ok with you and Dylan?” My stupid curiosity caused the question to pop out. I had nerve to worry about her and Dylan with my situation looming above us like a storm cloud that was about to wreak havoc.
“He kissed me again. I set him straight.”
My eyes flew over to the bastard, standing in the corner. I wanted to cross the room and beat the living crap out of him. I was unconsciously clenching my jaw and my fists with the vision of doing just that.
I looked down at her gorgeous face watching mine closely. I paused and remembered how she reacted the last time I jumped to conclusions. The bottom line is I trust her, completely.
She, on the other hand, had no business to trust me…especially with her heart, because I was about to shatter it.
“Do I need to kick his ass?”
“Please don’t. I don’t want you spending the night in jail. I have plans for you.”
“I love you.” I whispered.
“I know.” She smiled shyly, letting me know with her eyes she loved me to. She squeezed my hand and moved over to be with her friends.
All the success we have will mean nothing without her. My life would be the worst kind of hell if I had to live every day with her within arms’ reach, but not being able to have her.
When the party came to an end, I watched Dylan stand close to her, as he whispered to her. I had to look away when he touched her. To make matters worse, he had the nerve to tell me on his way out, “She isn’t the kind of girl to screw around with.”
Why would he say that to me? There is no way she confided in Dylan with details of our situation. He must have figured it out on his own. Leila watched our exchange from across the room. She mouthed, “I love you.” I smiled weakly, wanting to rewind the last hour of our night and make it go away.
After the party was over we all boarded the bus to begin our tour. Leila knows something is wrong but she hasn’t asked me to explain myself yet. I need to tell her the whole truth tonight. I can’t start this journey until I tell her everything.
As I’m cowering in my bunk waiting for her to get changed, I run through my conversation with Jessa, and wonder how I will be able to find the courage to tell her. When she approaches, her face reveals that she knows something bad is about to happen.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Did you have a good time?”
“I did. Are you ok?” she asks.
“Not really.”
“You were awesome tonight Jack.”
Caressing her face, I silently a say a prayer that she forgives me. I can’t lose her. I just can’t...
“So were you.”
I sit up and take her hands in mine. “Can I talk to you?”
She nods weakly and I lead her to the bedroom.
Once inside, I close and lock the door.
“Leila, I need to tell you something.” She sits heavily on the bed and doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Is this about that girl?”
“Yes. She’s my ex.”
“Oh.”
“Babe, we need to talk.”
The color drains from her face. She outstretches her arms as if holding on to the bed will prevent her from collapsing.
“Jack, you’re scaring me.”
I need to touch her. I feel like an hourglass filled with our time together, is down to its last few grains of sand.
I can’t bring myself to say any of the words I’ve been iterating in my head. I gently sit on the bed next to her and take her hand.
“Lei, she came to warn me about our old bassist who is pissed that we kicked him out of the band years ago. She felt it was necessary to tell me about his grudge. He’s a lunatic, and I don’t take her news lightly.”
Leila brings our hands to her lips, kissing mine gently. “Jack, is he after you?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m more worried about you. I’m glad you and I haven’t gone public yet. I don’t want him even putting you on his radar.”
Leila’s relief causes the bile to rise in my throat. She thinks this is all I have to say. What I’ve admitted to is nothing compared to what I still need to admit.
“Babe, Jessa also came to tell me she’s pregnant.”
Leila predictably pulls her hand out of my grasp. “What?”
“It may not be mine. I was with her a few months ago. It was a huge mistake. I told her I want proof.”
Tears immediately fill her eyes and slide down her face.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. This changes nothing for me…nothing. I love you more than anything and I …I can’t lose you.” Holding her hand again I plead for her to stay. “Please babe, please don’t give up on us.” I try to pull her closer but she shrugs away from me. My heart feels like someone is driving a steel rod right through it.
“I don’t…Jack ...please don’t touch me. I need you to let me be…please. I need to be alone.”
I nod and stand reluctantly. Even so, I ignore her plea and step closer. I wipe away her freely falling tears and place a soft kiss on her lips. “Please promise me that you won’t shut me out. We have to talk about this.”
A simple nod is all she gives me as she steps away from my touch. I leave the room and close the door to give her the space she asked for. Hours later, sitting on the edge of the bed, I watch her toss and turn in her sleep until daylight starts to filter in through the slats of the blinds. I quietly close her door and return to my bunk.
***
I’ve been up all night, recanting all the mistakes I’ve made that led to this. I can’t bring myself to leave my bunk. I can hear the guys all chatting up front, reliving details of last night. I don’t hear Leila’s voice in the mix.
“He emerges.” Hunter calls out when he sees me.
I ignore him and knock on Leila’s door. She opens it slowly, barely looking at me when she does. It’s obvious she’s been crying. My heart breaks from the pain I’m causing her. I can’t lose her. I would give everything up to avoid losing her.
“Can I come in?”
She moves aside and opens the door to allow me access. I move to the bed and immediately sit in preparation for the heartbreak I’m about to feel.
“Leila, I wish I could un-do what I did. It was a huge mistake and now the person I love the most has to pay the price. I’m so sorry.”
Without warning, she launches herself onto my lap and into my arms.
“I love you, Jack.”
I cling to her as if I was drowning and she was my life vest. I’m afraid if I let go she’ll change her mind.
“I’ll support you, no matter what the results are.” She pulls away from my embrace. “Jack, I’m not going to lie, it hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before, but it’s because I love you so much. I don’t want you keeping anything from me. No matter what it is, I need to know. No matter how bad. I’ll need you as much as you need me during this nightmare.”
“I promise, no matter what.” I tighten my hold on her. “Leila, I don’t deserve you.”
I’ve never thought how blessed my life was until now. I would move heaven and earth to make her happy. I would do anything, to keep her safe, anything.
I love her.
Leila and Jack’s story continues in Front & Center, coming soon.