CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Cami
I couldn’t even try to hide it. This sucked. I did my best to put a smile on my face and face the day with an enthusiasm like I’d never had, but by the end of the day, I was pretty sure I’d failed.
The only good thing was that I worked at the shop and I had Sketch and Blade to keep me distracted. Oh, and little Biscuit to cuddle with when I was suddenly hit with a wave of panic, and maybe a bit of sadness.
I realized it was silly. This run thing sounded like something they did all the time and Brand assured me it wasn’t dangerous. But the not knowing had my mind reeling. And I realized that was all by my choice but it didn’t mean that I wasn’t freaking out a bit.
It may not have helped that we’d been attached at the hip since that kiss. I mean, there were those few days we had spent apart because life had gotten real stupid there for a moment, but I was trying my best to forget about all the drama that happened then.
Thinking of that night sent warm sparks through my body. That was the kiss that started it all. The one that forever changed the way I saw the world.
I was pretty sure that was the moment he imprinted himself on me. Ruined me for anyone else. And I was one hundred percent alright with that.
Lucky for me, Chris was waiting at the compound after the shop had closed and I was headed for an empty room. He told me to grab a change of clothes then he said we were going to pick up Laurel. After much protesting, Laurel finally agreed to come along. I think we both needed whatever Chris had in store for us, and by the request for extra clothes, I would bet that neither of us would make it home tonight.
“Please tell me more,” Chris said as we all sat around his living room later that night.
The windows were open, the cool air flowing in carrying the soothing sounds of the crashing waves in the distance. I was pretty sure we were all really drunk at this point, the rice and tofu dish that Chris had made us not doing much to soak up any of the alcohol we’d consumed.
Oh, holy cow could that guy cook, by the way. I was surprised at the first bite I took and I think I ended up eating more than my fair share.
“No, I really shouldn’t,” Laurel said, waving her hand in front of her face trying to brush off her embarrassment that she’d let something slip that she clearly hadn’t meant to.
“Come on, it’s just us,” I said grabbing her knee and giving it a good shake.
“It was so bad. Like I just didn’t understand. I thought I was doing something wrong,” she admitted with wide, glassy eyes. “I usually ended up going into the bathroom and taking care of myself after. Oh, God, I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud.”
She was spilling her guts on how sex had been with Brice. I had no idea that it was that bad, but now that she had a few glasses of wine in her, she was letting it all out.
We laughed and it was great. Though, I did feel kind of bad for her. I wished I hadn’t been so in my head before, that I could have been there for her. But it wasn’t the time to dwell on things that couldn’t be changed. I silently vowed that I’d never do that again. Laurel was my beautiful, amazing sister and I was going to be right there by her side as she figured her way back to the top again. And I didn’t doubt for a second that she would do just that.
“Kissing him was like what I imagine kissing a fish would be like. His lips were so dry but somehow slimy. I never understood how that was possible. And his tongue, oh, it was all over the place.” She then demonstrated the tongue thing. It was not a pretty sight but it was hilarious.
I had to admit, seeing Laurel like this was strange but I couldn’t say it didn’t make me happy. She was free and relaxed. She wasn’t fidgeting with her clothes trying to make sure they were sitting just right. She wasn’t stiff as a board and watching what came out of her mouth. She was having a good time and it was beautiful. I could say with certainty, that this Laurel was amazing and I prayed that she stuck around.
“I just want to be with that person that kisses you and it makes your toes curl. I want that for the rest of my life. I mean, I know we don’t all get a happily ever after or whatever, and maybe we are lucky to have gotten it even once.”
She talked like she knew that exact kiss and I studied her trying to figure out what was going on.
“I know Cami gets that all the time and I’m not jealous, but I do envy you,” she said as she turned to me and gave me a playful, drunken wink that lasted a little too long to be cute. “What about you Chris?”
“Um,” he said and looked up like he was having to think about it. I would bet if he had to think about it that hard then the answer was probably going to be negative. “I have had good kisses. Ones that I didn’t mind repeating. A lot of bad ones though, too. But never that one that really made me think about it over and over again or did the toe curl thing.”
“Aw, that’s sad,” Laurel said and her lips tipped down in a frown.
“So what? You decide to go on an adventure to find love and now you think everyone needs to ride that train?” I asked as a joke.
“No, brat,” she said then poked me with her toe before turning her attention back to Chris. “What about a longterm relationship? I’m sorry, don’t answer that, I didn’t mean to pry.”
Chris laughed and waved her off.
“I don’t mind,” he said with ease and that was just what I would have expected from him. “I’ve had a few relationships here and there but they never really stuck. I’d say my longest one was four months. And I did have this amazing and very intense thing with someone but we weren’t exclusive, um, it’s kinda hard to explain. I guess we were fuck buddies, but it was a little more than that when we were…uh, fucking.”
“Oh, well that stupid bitch didn’t know what she was missing out on,” Laurel said acting like she knew Chris well.
I mean, I guess I could see how being around him a few times you did feel like you were instantly close. He was that type of person that didn’t judge and was laid-back. He had a warm smile and a huge heart.
“It was a guy, actually,” he corrected without any hesitation or shyness in his voice. “And well, he found someone perfect for him. I wouldn’t take her away from him for the world.”
Um.
What?
Maybe it was my drunken brain but it started to go places that it had once been. I mean, Chris and Brand did seem so perfect to me not too long ago. I tried to replay our conversations in my mind but everything was too fuzzy right now.
“No, Cami, I’m not talking about Brand. We are dude-bros only and for real,” Chris said obviously seeing the look on my face that I thought I was hiding. Then he laughed and shook his head at me.
I would have said that I didn’t care, because really I didn’t. If Chris was gay or bi or whatever that was fine with me. And if Brand was the same way that was alright too. Maybe it was that the whole thing had come out of left field and taken me by surprise.
“You’ve had sex with men?” Laurel asked beside me. “So have I!” She then squealed like it was the most amazing thing that they had something in common.
“Yeah, I think it’s time for bed for you.” I laughed and pushed my way up to standing.
After much protest, Chris and I managed to get her into the spare room, which was set up with a beachy but still masculines theme. I liked it. It felt cool yet warm and cozy.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said after Laurel was tucked away. “I hope she didn’t offend you.”
Though I was sure Laurel didn’t mean it that way, I still felt the need to smooth things over.
“No worries. I don’t get offended at much. Being bi kinda makes you like that.” He shrugged and I could tell he added that part in there to satisfy my curiosity. “Is she going to be alright?”
“I hope so,” I whispered. “I know things are really hard for her right now, but I think she’s finding her way. Thanks for this. I think we both needed it.”
“No problem. My door is open any time,” he said then pulled me in for a hug before we said goodnight.
The next day we hung out at the beach. Laurel had the day off from the coffee shop that she worked at. Gwen had helped get her the job, and though I knew it wasn’t something she wanted to do for the rest of her life, it was easy enough that it would work for now. Baby steps on living in the real world and all.
I sent Sketch a text telling him I needed a personal day. It wasn’t something I was going to make a habit of, but I felt like I needed to be there for Laurel. I knew they would understand. And I didn’t lie to him either. I told him I was going to be at the beach all day. He didn’t disappoint me by sending a text back asking me to take pictures of “hot chicks” for him, preferably ones that had gone swimming and lost their tops. Yep, I rolled my eyes at that and sent him a picture of a baby with a saggy, waterlogged diaper and another of an old man in a Speedo. Then I laughed to myself.
I headed home back to the compound just as the sun was starting to set. I wanted to sleep in Brand’s bed, well I guess really our bed. I needed his scent to surround me. It was silly, right? He’d only been gone two days and he would be back tomorrow, but I still worried and missed him like crazy.