CHAPTER TWENTY
Cami
“Here,” Laurel said as she pushed a huge wineglass full of deep berry red goodness in my direction. “You need this.”
And if that wasn’t the darn truth. I tilted the glass back and chugged down what I was sure was an unhealthy amount. I didn’t care. I was a mess, and that was putting it lightly.
Lucky for me, Laurel took one look at my face and pulled me into her arms. She didn’t ask what had happened and I had a feeling that she’d already gotten a call from our mother. She had to have known something by now. But she didn’t know my side and I was so desperate to talk that the words started pouring out of my mouth almost as fast as I was pouring wine down my throat.
“I think I’ve screwed up,” I blubbered then thought about those exact words. “No, I mean. I haven’t. I don’t believe that, at least before today, I hadn’t thought that. I couldn’t take that stupid job at the museum, it wouldn’t have made me happy. So, I’m not sure if you know or not, but I’ve been working at a tattoo shop. Kind of like a shop girl, but Brand, the guy who owns it—I think—has slowly been teaching me all about tattooing.”
I took in a shaky breath and emptied the rest of the wine into my mouth. She didn’t hesitate to grab the bottle and fill my glass back up.
“I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but I really want to be a tattoo artist. Brand, he was going to teach me. He’s so amazing…”
“Brand?”
“Yes,” I could feel my head nodding frantically. The wine was hitting me pretty quickly. “I think I’m in love with him.” The words threw themselves out of my mouth. Though I maybe hadn’t meant to say them, it didn’t mean they weren’t true.
“Awww, honey.” She leaned in and hugged me, her hand rubbing up and down my back in a comforting way.
Right then, she was the sister I’d always wanted and needed. I hadn’t realized how starved for it I was until that second. And she didn’t let me down. I swatted the tears away with fast hands.
“I do. I love him. He sees me. He likes that girl that I’ve tried so hard to hide all my life. I just…”
“Then what are you doing here? I mean, not that I mind one bit, but if you feel so strongly for this guy, Brand, then why didn’t you go to him?”
“Because,” I took in a deep, shaky breath before I continued, “because, she threatened him and his club. Oh, yeah, he’s part of a motorcycle club. I’ve met some of them, they seem like nice guys. I mean, for rough-n-gruff men that wear leather and ride a bike and all.” A fit of giggles slipped out of me at how ridiculous I sounded.
“Bikers?” Her eyebrows went to meet her hairline. “Really? Is that…safe?”
Her question was a good one and after the night I’d had, I would have said not really. And while I’d been scared out of my mind, it hadn’t been enough for me to want to run.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Before last night, I’d never seen anything that made me feel like I needed to worry. But last night, a group of people shot up the shop.”
“While you were there?!”
Okay, clearly our mother hadn’t filled her in on everything.
“Um, yeah. I’m fine. Brand is fine, I think. He got hit by a bullet, but he said he wasn’t bad. They took him to jail, it was awful.”
“Cami,” Laurel said with a tone that made me pause. I guess I could see where everything I’d just said sent up red flags. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because I support you and what you want to do, but that sounds really bad. Horribly dangerous, even. How can you be so calm about it? I mean, for Christ’s sake, you were shot at.”
“Yeah, I really can’t even begin to explain any of it. Despite all that, I feel safe when I’m with him. I feel…whole.”
Her face softened at my words. There was simply no other way to describe it. He had worked his way into my heart and imprinted himself onto my soul.
“Anyway, what I was getting at, is that mom threatened to bring the club down if I went anywhere near the shop or any of them again. So, I feel like I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. She wasn’t just saying that to have the last word, though it did work. I finally got the courage and strength to stand up to her and then she went and knocked me back down.”
I could tell by her face that she didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really either. I loved Brand, and the most important thing to me was keeping him safe.
“It will all be alright,” she said with false comfort ringing in her words. “Don’t do anything crazy. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to.”
“Thanks, Laurel.”
Though I was sure that our parents would have just loved that. They were the ones paying for the apartment, after all.
“They took my car and phone. I have nothing, Laurel. I don’t even have his number to tell him goodbye. And frankly, I’m too afraid to do so. I have a feeling that I’d crack. I could call the shop but honestly, I’m so scared that mom will find out, even though I know that’s dumb. How would she know if I called him?”
Maybe it was best to just sever ties. Cut it off right then and there. Live with the perfect memory of what I’d gotten a taste of for a split second.
“They wanted to ship me off to live with Aunt Hillary,” I said and because I was pretty much drunk at this point, I started laughing hysterically. “Can you believe that?”
“No,” she gasped as her hand flew dramatically to her chest. “They wanted to send you to The Farm? Like some unwanted animal?”
I laughed, short, choppy and loud. That was exactly what it felt like.
“Yes,” I said with a frantic nod.
“I knew mom was hard on you, but I never knew it would get like that.”
There was a long moment of silence as we both got lost in our thoughts.
“So,” I said, needing to change the direction of everything. “How is the wedding planning going?”
“You sure that you want to talk about this?” Her voice was soft and full of uncertainty.
“Yes, please. I want to see you happy and I’m here for you, for whatever you might need.”
That was all it took. She rattled on about everything. Every single thing. I didn’t mind, in fact, I welcomed the distraction. I could tell she was avoiding anything that had to do with our mother and I was grateful.
We polished off a second bottle of wine and she uncorked a third. I was way past drunk at this point, and pretty sure that I’d drank way more than her. But I didn’t care. The alcohol flowed through my veins and made me forget everything that was sitting heavy on my shoulders and weighing down my brain.
“You do want this, right?” I asked out of nowhere. I hadn’t meant to put doubts out there, but I think I might have anyway.
Her face went flat as she looked down at the invitation options that she’d pulled out to show me.
“Brice is perfect. He understands how things are and fits into my world. He’s caring and sweet. And he wants nothing more than to take care of me.”
Her answer seemed to be lacking something but my swimmy mind couldn’t make any sense of what it might be.
“Does he, you know, rock your world?” I asked, my cheeks heating because this was definitely something we’d been brought up not to talk about.
“Did you just say ‘rock your world,’ Cami?” She laughed. “That’s it, I’m cutting you off. Maybe you should try to sleep a bit and hope that you don’t wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck.”
She continued to laugh but didn’t move to take the wine glass out of my hand. Boy, I was going to feel this tomorrow.
“Brand,” I said, nearly choking on his name. “He is just, wow. I can’t describe it. He touches me and I get goosebumps. I feel warm and shaky inside. His smile sends shivers down my spine. And the way he looks at me…I feel like I’m the only person in the world. Oh, and the sex, I mean, it only happened that one time, but it was nothing short of mind-blowing. Like, I left the earth for a little bit.”
I came out of my glazed-over gaze to look at her. With her fingers pressed against her lips and her eyes wide, she remained silent. I wondered if I’d said something wrong.
“That’s…really beautiful,” she whispered.
Then she was moving, taking our empty glasses and the half-empty bottle of wine into the kitchen. I didn’t know what was going on, but as the silence surrounded me, my lids grew heavy. I was pretty sure my eyes closed before my body slumped to the side to lay down on the couch.