CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Cami
Life sucked. I wouldn’t even try to play it off differently. I missed Brand the most. But I also missed Sketch and Blade. And Chris, as well. I had Laurel, but I still felt like a big part of me was missing.
To be honest, Laurel had surprised me. She’d been super supportive and there for me through every emotion. And let me tell you, there was a wide range of them. Sad. Depressed. Angry. And so on.
I didn’t know if my parents knew where I’d ended up or not and I honestly didn’t care. If Laurel had ratted me out, it was obvious that they could care less because they hadn’t shown up the four or so days I’d been here. I say ‘or so’ because I’d truly lost count of the days. I slept odd hours and when I was awake I had kind of been an out-of-it mess. I wasn’t really sure how many times the sunlight had graced the apartment then retreated again.
I was so moody that I couldn’t even enjoy the colors that started the day. I didn’t care that I had missed them. That was when I knew I was in bad shape. My mood was black. The walls around me simple white. The wine currently filling up half my glass was only red.
My heart no longer felt the joy in life and I wondered how I’d fallen this far. How I had managed to let one person fill my heart with warmth and how I was supposed to go on like none of it had happened. I knew I was in bad shape but I didn’t have the first clue how to pull myself out of this hole I was falling into.
Everything I had dealt with in life had never affected me like losing Brand had. Not even my parents and all their boxes that I had to fit into.
Pathetic.
I’d called myself that more time than I could count the last few days.
“This is so stupid,” I said to an empty room.
Laurel had left to have lunch with Brice and his mother. To talk wedding plans, I was sure. But I didn’t exactly know, because I was the world’s worst sister and hadn’t asked her about anything after that first night.
I sucked. Like big time. Here Laurel was, being a good sister and letting me crash here in her spare room and I was a bitch, not even seeming grateful for any of it.
A knock at the door jolted me out of my thoughts.
As I made my way to the front of the apartment, I tried to figure out who it might be. Laurel had a key so I knew it wasn’t her. My biggest fear was that it was my parents but I had not the first clue if it was them.
“Open the door Cami, I know you’re in there and, fuck, this isn’t over. I’m not letting you go. I don’t give a shit what—”
His words halted as I yanked open the door and threw myself into his arms. He caught me with a tiny oomph as he rapped me up as tight as possible.
“I’m a mess,” I admitted as I attempted to climb him like a tree. He palmed my butt and I wrapped my legs around him without a second of hesitation.
He carried me just inside the apartment and somehow managed to hold me up and shut the door softly at the same time.
“Me too, beautiful, me too.” His admission caused the tears to spill from my eyes. He didn’t seem to care that I was soaking his neck and shirt with my mix of elation and sadness.
Happy that he was here, that I was touching him, that with one little statement he showed me how much he cared.
But sad, because I knew this couldn’t last. That I had to let him go in order to keep him safe.
For a second I decided that I was going to say ‘fuck it all’ to the universe and get lost in this moment.
If I was going to let him go, then I was going to get fireworks and let the world burn around us and all that stuff that you would expect to see in movies.
“I need you,” I said clawing at his clothes and then realized that I was plastered to his body, preventing me from ridding him of them.
“Cami, look at me,” Brand said, lowering me to my feet and framing my face with his warm hands. “We have all the time in the world. We need to set this straight first. You need to know that you’re mine and I’m not the kind of man that loves easily. And I sure as fuck am not ready to let you go. Honestly, I don't think I will ever be.”
And out came the boyish charm that I loved about him. His heart was open to me and I so badly wanted to crawl inside. But what kind of life would that give us—give him? One where he and his club constantly had to look over their shoulders, wondering when my parents would choose to take a moment to strike.
I couldn’t do that to him. He was such an amazing person and he deserved more than that.
“Tell me how you feel about me?” he asked and as my glassy eyes looked up to him, I fought really hard to hold the words back. “Fine, then I’ll tell you how I feel. This isn’t something that is fleeting. I love you, Cami, I won’t even try to deny it. Hell, I want to tell the world exactly that. And the only reason I would turn my ass around and walk out that door, is if you tell me—right here, right now—that you don’t feel the same. That you don’t feel this thing that is between us. That when you told me you understood me, you were lying to my face.”
I couldn’t. I absolutely could not lie to this man. I knew that it would crush him and for the life of me, I just couldn’t be the one to do that to him.
“I love you. Yes. And I don’t know when it happened or how, but all I know is that I feel so lost without you. Everything is dull and I hate it,” I admitted and suddenly the boulder that had been sitting on my chest the last few days lifted. I felt lighter. Free.
Everything was right.
His chocolate brown eyes.
His mauve-pink lips.
His sun-kissed tan skin against my pale flesh tone.
The moment I was in his arms, the world came alive with color again and I knew I’d never be able to let that go. I couldn’t let him go.
His lips met mine and as my eyes drifted shut, I saw them all. Poppy red. Canary yellow. Tangerine orange.
Prussian blue.
Orchid purple.
All of them bursting in my head like paintballs being fired at clean, white paper.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he breathed out as he broke away from my lips. I whimpered at the loss, but then he was kissing and nibbling my neck and I was lost in the haze of lust. “Trust in me. Tell me everything and believe that I will do everything to take care of you. Nothing gets between us as long as we don’t allow it to.”
Well, dagnabit, this man had all the perfect words. Why couldn’t I have made it that simple days ago?
“Bedroom,” I panted out. “Last one on the left. Now.”
Then he was lifting me up again and following my demands without any hesitation. How he managed to get into the room I’d been staying in and kiss me was beyond my comprehension right then. But as my back hit the mattress, I found that I didn’t care.
We tore at each other’s clothes until we were both naked. His body covered mine, this silver chain he wore around his neck ghosting over my breasts and causing a shiver to wrack my body.
His lips trailed down my body, pausing briefly to lavish each nipple. Before I could process what was going on, his velvet tongue was doing a slow pass over my pussy and making circles around my clit.
“Oh, God!” I cried out as my hand clamped down on his hair.
He did nothing short of devour me. Sucking, licking, nibbling. It was all too much and not enough at the same time. I was soaked and I only imagined that his face had to be dripping with my juices. That thought alone pushed me closer to the edge. Then he slipped two long, thick fingers inside of me and as he curled them, I flew off the cliff.
“Brand, don’t…please, don’t stop. Yes.” My words came out a panted, jumbled mess as I lost all control of my body. My hips rocked and my grip tightened in his hair like I was trapping him right where he was.
His name ripped from my throat as I came. I should have felt embarrassed but after an orgasm like that from a man like him, there simply was no thinking at all.
His lips worked their way up my body and when he was close enough, I grabbed his face and kissed the hell out of his lips. Tasting myself on him was both exhilarating and erotic. I wanted to have that experience every single day.
“Inside me now,” I demanded as my hand tried to force itself between our bodies to put him right where I needed him.
“Cami, wait, shit, fuck.” He pushed his hips tighter into mine, making sure that there was no way for me to touch him. His hard cock slipped over my already sensitive clit, making a whimper escape past my lips. “Condom, beautiful, I need one. And, shit, I don’t have one on me.”
No!
I screamed in my head.
“Clean. Pill. You?” My words came out choppy and I hoped they made sense. I trusted him and so I would take his word whatever his answer was.
“Yes. Are you sure?”
“Yes. God, yes!” I answered looking into his eyes as my body rocked against his hardness.
That was all we needed to say about it. I kissed him and with all my might, jerked my body in an attempt to get him to roll over. I was no match for his strength, but luckily he got the hint and his arms wrapped around me, taking me with him as his back hit the mattress.
My hands planted firmly on his hard chest as I pushed up so I was straddling his amazing body. I wasted no time wrapping my hand around the base of this thick cock, lining him up just where we both needed, and sinking down onto him.
My back arched and I bounced and rocked, letting my body take over and just feel. His hands gripped my hips, helping me keep a steady rhythm.
“Fuck, Cami, you feel so good. I’m not going to last feeling you bare wrapped around me.”
His words spurred me on and I moved faster and harder. His cock hit the right spot and every time I sunk down I felt so full as he bottomed out. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on his as my head fell back.
“So. Fucking. Beautiful.” He punctuated every word with an upthrust of his hips. I was close and I clenched around him without even knowing it. “Come with me.”
And so I did. I had a feeling that my body would always follow his command.
“I love you,” he breathed out as he knifed up, wrapped his arms around me, kissed me passionately, and spilled his release deep inside of me.
I had to admit, I loved the feeling of him inside of me with nothing between us.
“I love you, too. So flipping much,” I told him, my hands in his hair and my body pressed against his so there wasn’t so much as a whisper of air between us.
Minutes passed, maybe hours. I didn’t know or care right then. Even as his cock softened inside of me, I wasn’t ready to break our connection. And it seemed he felt the same way.
“Shower, beautiful, then bed. I’m spent,” he said with a light swat on my butt.
I couldn’t move. But lucky for me, he was able to carry me into the bathroom, start the water, and place me into the shower without me having to muster up an ounce of strength. He washed me, dried me, and tucked me into bed. My brain was complete mush at this point. I couldn’t have so much as protested even if I wanted to as he climbed into the bed and intertwined every limb with mine.