19
KAT
The music blaring from my blue tooth speakers gave me the perfect mood for painting. I had stationed myself in the back yard at the house and was working on my next art school assignment.
I really loved studying art at a small art school here in Lexington. I didn’t have to waste my time with classes that didn’t pertain to what I wanted to do. I just wanted to learn about art history and how to perfect my craft and that is exactly what I am doing. This week’s assignment is to find something living outdoors and draw it in a different light. We had to just various dark paint colors to give the object a dark and sorrowful mood. This was exactly what I loved about art; you could transform anything into something different with just a stroke of your brush or adding a different color.
I was in the middle of creating a scene from the trees lining the back fence. The air feels wonderful as the cool air of fall sweeps through the city. The once orange and red leaves of the trees had fallen and are now blanketing the grass below. I had decided to transform this image of one of a snow filled winter backdrop. I would add white to the ground to cover up the warm colors and add a gray sky and make the trees look as though they were reaching out and trying to grab you and pull you into the image.
“Wow, I forget how talented you are,” Isaac stated as he snuck up on me.
I had been so immersed into my art that I hadn’t heard him come outside.
I really needed to be more careful. It seemed as though people were sneaking up on me all of the time without my knowing. I was a prize candidate to be kidnapped.
“Thanks,” I stated as I continued working.
Ever since Isaac and Small’s had fought, things had just been awkward between me and Isaac and I hated it. We used to be so close but now, I am not sure what we are.
Sitting down next to me, Isaac watched me work. “Can you talk for a minute or is this a bad time?” he asked nervously.
Turning my head, I paused my brush strokes and looked at Isaac. “Sure, we can talk but I really need to get this done,” I added as I turned back to the image.
Nodding, Isaac seemed to be satisfied with my response. “Good. I really wanted to say how sorry I am that you felt the need to hide your relationship with Smalls from me,” he stated.
I stopped painting and turned and watched his expression. This was the last thing I expected from him was another apology. “I know that Isaac. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I noticed a change in you a few months ago. I selfishly thought it was because of my influence but really, it was because for the first time in your life Kat, you are happy,” he stated with sad eyes.
I knew it was difficult for Isaac and I to discuss our past, especially when I had to admit how sad I had been throughout my years growing up.
“You are right, Isaac. I was sad. I could never be truly happy being me. I felt like if you knew about me and Smalls, you might disapprove. You spent most of your life protecting me and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to protect me from one of your friends. I love him,” I said with a half-smile.
Stopping my hand from continuing to shade in the white of the snow on my painting, Isaac forced me to look at him. “Kat, for the first time in our lives we both have what we want and deserve. Smalls is a great guy and together, I think you both will accomplish great things. We are not kids anymore. We are not running from our past or who we once were. You and I have a chance to be happy and I don’t ever want to be the reason why you can’t be who you are and love who you want,” Isaac finished.
He was still holding my hand, but I didn’t care. My brother was truly amazing and I had taken him and his love for me for granted. Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.
“I really needed to hear that,” I cried into his shoulder.
I hadn’t cried in years and in some strange way it felt wonderful to release some of my fears and anxieties into the world. I never wanted to be afraid to be me or to show the world how much I loved Smalls.
“So, where does that leave us now?” Isaac asked.
Smiling and brushing a tear from my face, I held Isaac’s hand as I spoke. “This leaves us happy and whole. I am going to go out with Smalls tonight and you are going to go see Lauren. We will never have secrets to be broken again.”
“Sounds awesome little sis,” he teased. “Hey, I want to have a big party next week. It’s almost Halloween and I think it would be awesome. We could call it a celebration of you and Smalls finally coming out,” he smirked.
“When do you ever need a reason to throw a party?” I jabbed with a smile.
“True, but anytime I can celebrate and get to see Lauren look hot as hell is a good idea,” he winked.
“Gross,” I said as I kissed him on the cheek and then walked away.