20
KAT
True to his word, Isaac had prepared an amazing blowout to celebrate me and Smalls finally ending our secret affair. I loved how it just so happen to be arranged around his yearly Halloween Party. I couldn’t think of a better holiday to bring together me and Smalls.
While Smalls and I had been engrossed in our own little love affair, it seemed like Melanie and Cole were starting to fall apart. As much as I loved both of them, it was irritating as hell watching Melanie run around and act like she wasn’t madly in love with Cole. And, as my friend for years, it hurt me to see Cole want a girl and her not give in to him. Cole deserved true love.
“You ready for this?” Smalls asked as we walked into Isaac’s house. Loud music blared from the windows as The Monster Bash rang out into the night. Laughing, I knew this party was going to be epic.
“I am always ready,” I smiled as I squeezed Smalls hand.
When we entered the party, I noticed how crowded the room was. Everyone was dressed in costumes and talking or dancing with drinks in their hand, all while stuffing their mouths with the candy I was sure Lauren had bought for the trick-or-treaters and not these grown-ups.
We entered the party and began talking with our friends. Smalls made sure to touch and hold me and kiss me every chance we got. Not having to hide our love anymore made us hotter than ever for the other. It had even inspired me to want a new tattoo I had designed. Only, I was going to have Smalls add our names together inside it. But, that was my secret I was going to wait to tell him when he was in the process of inking me.
Needing a drink, I made my way to the kitchen. Lauren was already faded as she swayed while she walked. I smiled and laughed at the scene.
“Drunk already?” I teased as I reached behind her and grabbed a beer.
“Not enough,” she slurred as she rolled her eyes.
This was not like Lauren. She was always peppy or sassy, which is what I loved about her.
“What’s going on?” I asked her as I took a sip of my beer.
“Mel and Cole are fighting again. I swear, she is my best friend but I am getting tired of this shit,” Lauren almost yelled. Her voice was full of rage and it took me back for a second.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
I began to glance around the space, looking for a sign of Melanie or Cole. If this was causing Lauren this much anxiety, I needed to fix it for her. I hated the idea that someone else couldn’t just give in and be with who they wanted. No one else should ever have to make the same mistake I had.
Locating Melanie, I spotted her standing outside one of the bathrooms. She had a strange look on her face like she was confused. Having enough, I stomped over there.
“Mel, what are you doing?” I asked, staring at her like she was a crazy person.
“I was just uh…” her voice trailed off like she honestly didn’t know what to say. “Shit, Kat. I don’t know what the hell I am doing.”
I pushed her further into the bathroom and with her back to the mirror, I spotted myself. I was now rocking lime green hair in a short, pixy cut style. Something about my new cut and new love life gave me more confidence.
“Don’t worry Mel, I don’t think any of us really know what we are doing either.” I laughed, throwing my head back I realized that Mel must think I am crazy. Which I am. I finally pulled Mel out of the bathroom and wiped away a tear from her cheek. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led Mel to the kitchen where I handed her a drink. I wasn’t sure what it was but it was pink and tasted like fruit juice. It was good and full of alcohol which she needed to relax.
I spotted Cole on the small back patio. He was alone and sipping a bottled water as he watched tiny snowflakes dance around him. Noticing my stare, Cole looked up but his eyes went straight to Melanie.
“Look, I know it is none of my business, but I am just going to say what I am thinking,” I began, taking a sip of a beer. “I know you and Cole have been through a lot. But you two need to realize how much you care about one another. Go talk to him. Either let him in or let him go. But Mel, and I mean this with love, you can’t have both.”
Giving me a wry smile, Mel finally began to open up. “Kat, I know that I can’t have the best of both worlds. I would be lying to you and myself if I stood here and tried to argue with you. I love Cole, but I can never love him the way he needs me to.” she declared through deep breaths. If I wasn’t pissed at her for how she had been treating Cole, I might have hugged her for her honesty. I know how difficult it is for Melanie to share herself with others, part of me is the same way too, but I have learned that is not healthy.
Realizing I had to do something drastic to really get her attention, I did the one thing I never thought I would do to one of my friends.
I pulled my arm back and smacked Melanie straight across her face. The impact of my palm against her cheek felt like a thousand bee stings. My hand was red and stinging as I allowed it to fall to my side. She staggered backward as the shock hit her hard.
“What the hell was that for?” Melanie screamed as she held her hand to her cheek.
“Someone had to do it,” I sneered, shaking my head. “I have watched you fall in love with Cole, and now you just stand here with no emotion and tell me you can’t love him back?” I exhaled before taking a sip of my beer again. I needed more liquid courage to finish my rant. “Look, I love Cole like a brother. As much as I like you Mel, I think it is best if you just leave him alone. Don’t call. Don’t text. Just forget he exists.” I knew my words were harsh, but if she wasn’t going to love Cole and come clean with everyone then she needed to walk away. It took me walking away from Smalls to understand just how much I loved and needed him. Maybe Melanie would discover that without Cole, her life just didn’t make sense anymore. Hopefully, my plan works or I just ruined Cole’s life.
Melanie shook her head, anger now boiling to the surface. “Look Kat,” she began before she I cut her off.
“Stop it!” I screamed. You have to see that what you are doing is destroying him. I thought I lost Cole two years ago. He is now alive again and I will not stand by and watch you build him up, just to watch him fall again. I almost lost Smalls because I was selfish and didn’t want to admit how I really felt. Being away from him is what it took to find love again. Leave him alone.” I was screaming now as she stood in front of me. As I yelled the words, I wasn’t sure exactly how much she was actually hearing. So many raw emotions crossed her face as she realized that I was right. Other people who had been talking in their own conversations now stopped and watched the show we were putting on for them. Smalls, who stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watched us with wild fascination.
Crazy thing about this whole argument was that Melanie didn’t even try to stop me. It was like she knew she had to hear the words I was saying.
“What is going on?” Isaac asked as he slipped in between me and Melanie. He put his hands on my shoulder as Smalls appeared behind him. It was obvious Isaac was playing his role as the protective brother. Our relationship was finally mended and I knew he had my back.
“Kat, I think she understands,” Isaac whispered in a calming tone.
“She has to hear this,” I sneered back, this time my voice low and quiet.
Nodding, Smalls wrapped an arm around my waist. “She did hear you. What you said was honest and I am so proud of you. But, Melanie has to figure this out on her own,” Smalls said as he looked deep into my eyes.
Agreeing, I knew that I had done my best to help Melanie see that she had to make a decision.
I knew I had to keep up my bad-ass appearance so instead of crying, which is what I felt like doing for being so harsh with Melanie, I turned and walked away but not before flipping her off with my middle finger. I needed to get away from everyone and be alone so I could cry. I had to say what I had to Melanie. I had wished someone had done the same for me earlier when I had messed up with Smalls. Hopefully, one day Melanie would understand my reasons and forgive me. Melanie. My friend. One day, I just knew both Cole and Melanie would understand.
21
SMALLS
“Where is Kat going?” a voice asked me from behind.
I turned to see Grace, Kat’s friend from school behind me. I had forgotten that Kat had invited her to come to the party too.
“Kat needs some fresh air,” I said as I watched Kat walk out the front door, slamming it behind her.
“Oh. I hope she is ok. She looked really upset,” Grace noted.
“Yeah, but she will be fine. I will go check on her and then tell her you are here,” I added.
“Thanks,” Grace smiled.
I saw her look around the room like she was looking for someone, but I didn’t have time to stay and investigate. I needed to check on Kat.
When I finally found Kat, she was at the side of the house, standing in the shadows.
“What are you doing?” I asked calmly.
“I just needed to get out of there,” Kat spoke calmly.
I stepped closer to her, feeling her presence. “I understand.”
Rushing me, Kat threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I felt her chest heave as she began to cry.
This was a side of Kat most people never saw. It was endearing and sweet and made me love her even more. Soothing her, I rubbed her back and allowed her to cry on my shoulder.
After another few minutes, Kat cleared her eyes and was ready to return to the party. “I just hope she understands why I did what I did,” she said before we walked through the door.
“She will and she will love you for it,” I stated to reassure her worries.
Smiling at me, Kat opened the front door further and as we took a step inside, Melanie came rushing toward us.
“Oh shit,” Kat mumbled.
I prepared my stance, ready to defend Kat if Melanie tried to touch her. I knew Melanie must be pissed at Kat for slapping her and all of the hurtful, but truthful words she had said.
Instead though, I was shocked when Melanie looked over at Kat with remorse filling her eyes. It was as though Melanie had been the one to attack Kat.
As Melanie slowed, Kat pulled out her car keys. Surprising both of us, Kat calmly spoke to Melanie. “Here take my car. I will get a ride from Smalls,” she offered.
Smiling through her tears, Melanie reached for the keys, never stopping.
Just as Melanie ran out the door, I spotted Cole coming toward us.
“Where is Melanie going?” he asked breathless.
“Cole, Melanie has to find herself and decide what she wants,” Kat stated.
I watched Kat with awe. She was so amazing and beautiful and I was so proud she was mine.
“No, she doesn’t need to leave. She wants me. I know she does. She has to,” Cole yelled as he balled his fists to his side.
“Cole, listen to Kat. We had to be apart to come together,” I said as I stepped inside of him and made him look at me.
“No,” Cole shouted as he pushed me aside and went after Melanie.
“Let him go,” Kat stated.
Listening, we allowed Cole to chase after Melanie knowing she was already long gone. This wasn’t the end of their story, I was sure of that. If I had learned anything from being with Kat and our journey to finding love and one another, it was that you had to hurt and let go first.