14
KAT
Smalls and I walked Melanie back to her apartment since she was clearly upset. She cried and blamed herself for the fight and outburst by Cole. I didn’t know what to say, so I just kept my mouth shut. After we left her, I realized that Smalls and I were finally alone.
“That was intense,” I laughed as I tried to lighten the mood.
“Hell yeah it was. I don’t know what that was all about,” he added.
We continued walking in the now night sky. The air was cool but felt great against my skin.
Smalls was so close to me that I could feel his breaths as he exhaled slowly.
“You know, I missed you,” he admitted as he stopped walking and looked over at me.
I was taken aback by his admission but at the same time, happy to hear his words.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes. I have been trying to find a way to talk to you. What happened the other night wasn’t what you think,” Smalls said as he took my hand and forced me to look up at him. “I have been trying to reach you,” he said as he stepped toward me.
“I know. I couldn’t talk to you,” I admitted. I couldn’t look him in the eye as I talked.
It was difficult being in the same room with him and not being able to kiss his plump and juicy lips or jump on him and run my hands through his hair.
“What about now?” he asked.
“I think we can talk now.”
“What happened that night at the bar, it wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Smalls rushed out.
“Look, I get it. I’m not really the type of girl you take home to mom and dad,” I sighed as I struggled to keep my anger at bay.
“No, you have it all wrong. This is what I wanted to tell you,” he pleaded.
“Please let me in. I know I ran away from you, but I’m here now trying to make this work and I need you to trust me.” Again, I was begging, I needed answers and I wasn’t going to stop until I had them. This was another first for me. I had never been so vulnerable around anyone else but something about Smalls made me realize it was ok to show this side of myself sometimes. Smalls had walked with me to help Melanie get home. He was here to talk.
“Then what was it? To me, it looked like you were embarrassed to be seen with me,” I said.
Shaking his head, Smalls’ mouth pursed. “I hate that you think that. I didn’t want you to meet my dad because he is a judgmental asshole. He can make even the most secure people feel like there is something wrong with them,” he began as he held tightly onto my hand. Pushing my face away from his, he held my head in his hands. “You don’t understand, everyone who meets my family gets sucked into their drama. They are toxic and I don’t want you around them ever. If you see them, turn the other way. If they speak to you, ignore them.” His voice was angry and rising with each word he spoke. His grasp was tight, almost too tight.
“Ok, I promise I will stay away from them.” I smiled, wanting to kiss him and hold him until all the pain they had caused disappeared. “But, you have to tell me everything. You know all about me and Isaac. You are part of our family too. I just want to be part of your life too,” I stated as I tried to keep my voice calm.
As his words sunk in, I got it. I really got what he was saying. And just like that, I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. Instead of listening to Smalls and giving him a chance to explain himself and honestly tell me what the issue was, to really see the issue, I ran away. Now, I had a chance to fix everything and I desperately wanted to do just that.
Leaning in, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged Smalls tightly. His hard chest pushed against my breasts and my nipples ached with his touch. “I’m so sorry I didn’t let you talk, to tell me what was really going on.”
“I just want you to understand that I don’t have a family. At least I didn’t until I met you and Isaac. You two have a connection I have wished for my entire life,” he said sadly.
“I can understand that,” I added.
“It was wrong to hide myself but I didn’t want you to think it was about you or that it was because of something you did wrong. You can be insecure at times,” he stated flatly.
“I am secure with who I am,” I said, my tone harsh.
“That’s not what I meant,” Smalls said.
He let go of my hand and began pacing the sidewalk. He was stressed and conflicted on what to do or say next. I could see that whatever it was he was fighting, was important.
“Smalls, just tell me what is going on,” I prompted as I realized I needed more than anything to hear his admission.
Stopping, Smalls turned back to me, but he didn’t try to reach for me either. I didn’t like the distance between us, but I wasn’t about to stop him from telling me the truth.
“Kat, my dad used to make my mom and I feel like there was something wrong with us because we didn’t conform to what he believed was beautiful. He would mock us and turn us away. I hated him, but I went with his rules. One day, my mom couldn’t take any more of his judgment and ridicule and she killed herself. I thought my life was over and I didn’t know what to do. I was only sixteen.”
Smalls paused and I could hear his voice shake. This was too much for him to share. I didn’t want him to hurt.
“Smalls,” I whispered as I reached out and took his hand anyway.
Without letting me say another word, Smalls continued to speak. It was though my body was giving him the fuel and strength he needed to continue talking. “After my mom died, I knew I could give in and let my dad dictate my life and I could possibly end up like her or… I could take charge of my own life. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I do or even what I look like. Each of my tattoo’s tell a story. They represent a part of me, but they don’t define me. This does,” Smalls stated as he pounded his fist to his chest.
“My heart is what defines me. I am a man who loves hard and is passionate about the things that make me happy. My dad couldn’t understand that so he walked away from me. I haven’t spoken to him since I was eighteen and I don’t intend to ever again.
Seeing him near you sent me into a rage. You are so beautiful and special, he doesn’t deserve to be near anyone as amazing as you.”
As he stopped talking, I realized this never had anything to do with me. Smalls was fighting his own demons and wanted to protect me. I had blown up at him and now I knew I was in the wrong. Man, I am an idiot.
“Smalls, I had no idea,” I urged as I squeezed his hand.
“I didn’t want you to know. It’s not a part of my life I like sharing. But, I knew to make you understand I had to share this part of me with you,” he said, his eyes glistening with tears.
I couldn’t hold back my own emotions as I watched Smalls pour his heart out to me.
“I am so sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain,” I said as I fought through my own stubborn pride and apologized.
“It’s not your fault. I should have explained it to you. I just hate that my family is one big ugly secret,” Smalls said as he hung his head low.
Stepping up on my tip-toes, I leaned in and gave Smalls a kiss. His eyes went wide as he looked at me.
“We both have secrets, and I think it is time that we break all of them to our friends and family,” I stated firmly.
“What are you saying?” Smalls asked as he looked at me like he didn’t understand the words that were coming out of my mouth.
“I am saying, let’s tell everyone we are together,” I said with a smirk.
“So…that means we are together?” Smalls asked.
“If you want us to be we are,” I added.
“Fuck yes. I have always wanted you,” Smalls shouted as he lifted me up and twirled me around.
I couldn’t help but laugh as he did this.
Once he put me down onto the ground, he held me in a passionate kiss. “Kat, being with you has made me realize that for the first time in my life, I know what love is,” he said as his eyes locked onto mine. “Kat, I love you.”
My breath caught in my chest as he said he loved me. I had felt strong emotions before, but love? Never.
That is until I met Smalls. I was undeniably in love with Smalls too.
“I love you too,” I rushed out as I realized I couldn’t contain the words any longer.
In that moment, I realized how silly we both had been acting. When you truly care about someone else, you shouldn’t be afraid to share everything about yourself with them. It was time the world knew about us.
We rushed back to his apartment as we kept our hands and lips locked on one another’s body. Once we entered the apartment, everything between us became too much. I needed him and our connection. Throwing me onto the bed, I laughed as my small body bounced against the mattress. Rolling onto his side, Smalls drank me in with his smoldering eyes.
Crawling on top of him, I straddled Smalls lap. I could feel his hard cock poking through his shorts and I allowed his hardness to rub against my aching clit. Reaching over, Smalls grabbed something from beside his bed. Noticing what it was, my eyes rose in amusement and excitement.
“What is that?” I asked in a teasing tone.
“I bought this before our fight. Damn, I am ready to use it on you now,” he growled as he handed the whip over for me to inspect. It was a leather black riding crop with a black tassel at the end. I ran the whip along his chest and then slapped it hard on my own ass.
“Maybe I need to be punished for not listening to you the night we fought,” I finished with a smirk.
In a quick move, Smalls rolled me over and then grabbed the whip from my hands. “I think you are right. I think you need a spanking,” he growled as he pinned me down with his gaze.
Ripping each other’s clothes off, Smalls and I quickly fell back into our passion filled romance. I needed to feel him deep inside of me and I needed him to know that my love never left, it just hid in a sea of darkness as I built a wall to keep myself from getting hurt. Now, as I broke through my own wall, I needed Small’s body. Almost instinctively, Smalls rammed into me as if he knew I craved him more than the air I breathed.
Letting out a loud moan, I called out his name as he began to thrust in and out of me with force and determination. He too, was trying to unleash his hurt and anguish over our time apart, but to also prove his love and need for me too.
“Get on your knees,” Smalls ordered with a smile.
Smiling back, I tried to fight back my urge to beg for more. I rolled onto all fours and arched my back. As Smalls began to ram back inside of me again, he smacked my ass with the tip of the whip. Pain seared through my body and I loved the sensation. It wasn’t a bad pain, but more of a lust filled pain that I seemed to want more and more of. With each crack of the leather against my skin, my moans seemed to intensify and grow louder.
I could feel myself reaching my climax and as I turned my head back to look at Smalls, I saw he was watching my body move with a smirk. I bit my lip and the action caused Smalls to lick his own luscious lips as he pushed into me one more time before we both came together, reaching our climax together.
And, just like that. Smalls and I were whole and complete again.