16
Kat
Sneaking around with Smalls was so different now. Instead of just planning on a hook-up, being with him meant so much more. I loved Smalls. I needed him more ways than I ever imagined I would need another person. I couldn’t believe he wanted me to work with him by designing tattoos. I loved the idea, but I wouldn’t be able to fully commit to it until either after I graduated or Smalls and I were officially out in the open…if that ever happened.
As much as I wanted to hold his hand in public or kiss him anytime I wanted, I just couldn’t. I had to find the right time to let Isaac know what was going on. While I am sure you think Isaac is some weird freaky older brother, it isn’t like that at all. I was a wild child and got myself into more trouble than I like to admit. He spent much of my teenage years dragging my drunk and lifeless bodies out of beds and cars where guys were about to take advantage of me.
I am not like Isaac. Even when he screwed up a few years ago and just about lost his life, it didn’t compare to the messes I had created throughout the years. Sometimes I wonder if his constant fear of losing me had driven him to make such a foolish mistake that almost killed him and his friends.
I guess that’s why I desire his affirmation so much. I just want Isaac to know that I am going to be ok. That he doesn’t have to watch out for his wild little sister anymore. I will be fine and now with Smalls in my life, I have never been surer of anything in my life.
“What are you thinking about?” Smalls asks as he runs his hand soothingly up and down my arm.
As we lay on his couch watching a movie as it rains outside, he hadn’t moved his arm from around me once. This is how we love being together.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“Whatever. You know you are a shitty liar,” he teased.
Rolling my eyes, I tried to hide my smirk. “Fine, I guess I was just wishing we could go out to eat or to the park without having to hide,” I said with a sigh.
“Um, you know we can do that,” Smalls said as he sat up a little so he could face me.
“Not yet we can’t,” I argued.
While Smalls and I rarely argued or fought, this was one issue we didn’t agree on.
“Well, it better be soon because I am tired of acting like we are doing something wrong,” he sneered.
Shaking my head yes, I just snuggled my body closer to his. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I hated how much this hurt Smalls. He felt like I was hiding him, but I am really just protecting my brother.
Realizing the conversation was over, Smalls gave up the battle. We continued watching the horror film he had selected. I was about to doze off when a knock came from his apartment front door.
We both sat up in alert.
“Who is that?” I asked in a whisper.
Before Smalls could respond, a voice yelled from the other side of the door. “Smalls, come on man, let me in,” Isaac yelled.
“Shit,” I whisper-yelled as I jumped up off Smalls and the couch.
“Now is a great time to let him know what is going on,” Smalls said as he eyed the door.
“Fuck no,” I whispered as I rushed toward his bedroom.
I heard Smalls grunt before walking and opening the front door. I hid in the bedroom and listened while praying Smalls didn’t out us yet.
“What the fuck dude? Why did it take you forever to let me in?” Isaac said but his tone was full of humor.
“Sorry man, I was sleeping on the couch,” Smalls said.
The movie was still playing so his lie sounded real.
“Oh,” Isaac said. “Anyway, I came over here because I have a huge favor to ask. Jagger wants me to go to some bar with him and a few girls but you know I can’t go man. Lauren would kill me and honestly, I don’t want to go. I love that girl and don’t want to ruin anything between us,” Isaac said with a sigh.
I felt a smile grow on my face. I knew Isaac loved Lauren but hearing how sweet he was being warmed my heart.
There was an awkward silence before Smalls finally spoke again. “I can’t,” he responded quickly.
“Why not? You aren’t doing anything,” Isaac noted.
I wished more than anything that I could see them instead of being forced to listen to behind a closed door.
“I just can’t,” Smalls snapped back.
It was strange for him to be so rude with his friend and Isaac was surely going to pick up on it.
“You aren’t telling me something,” Isaac stated.
My heart dropped down into my belly and I gasped as he spoke. Shit, was Isaac on to us?
“I don’t have to tell you everything,” Smalls began. “Why don’t you just ask Cole,” he added.
Isaac laughed at this. “Are you serious? Cole has it bad for Melanie. You know he wouldn’t do anything to upset her. There could only be one reason why you won’t go with Jagger and it’s a girl,” Isaac finished.
My eyes sprang wide and I had to hold back my rapid breathing. This was too much.
“Maybe I do have a girl,” Smalls said sarcastically. “If I do, it’s none of your business,” he stated.
Isaac laughed again. “Oh shit, you are dating someone. Why don’t you just tell me who it is?” he asked.
“It’s still early on. I will tell you when I am ready,” Smalls snapped back.
“So, it’s a secret girlfriend,” Isaac teased.
I could sense Smalls tense and I knew he was almost to his breaking point, even with Isaac. “She’s not a secret. I am just not going to talk to your dumb ass about it,” Smalls growled.
Laughing again, Isaac walked to the door. “Fine. I will just tell Jagger that all of his friends are whipped by our girls. Only, yours is a secret girlfriend,” he laughed once more before shutting the door behind him.
When I was sure Isaac was gone for good, I emerged from the bedroom.
Smalls was standing in the middle of the living room, his face red as he watched me walk toward him.
“They are all going to give me shit for this,” he stated flatly.
“I am sorry,” I said as I rushed to him and hugged him around his waist. “I promise I will fix this soon,” I stated.
“You better, because there’s only so much teasing I will take from those idiots,” he stated as he tried not to crack a smile.
I hugged him tighter and just hoped that Isaac didn’t push Smalls too far.