As Johnny’s surgery neared, I found myself actually at Irons less and less and on the phone more with Amy. While we rarely talked about Johnny, I was relying on the companionship to help distract me.

Tonight was my night to be a back-up Dungeon Monitor, so I roamed around the main floor, talked to guests and checked different areas to see if I was needed. For now, it looked like the coverage was adequate. I spotted Matt sitting outside by the pool and decided to go pick his brain for a bit.

As I walked outside, I glanced around and didn’t see Anthony or that fucking Everett. They were probably off fucking some girl in the dungeon. I sat down on a patio chair near Matt and noticed he was watching some girls swimming in the pool. Matt didn’t say anything when I sat down, so after a moment or two, I cleared my throat.

“May I talk to you for a minute, Matt?” I asked him.

He turned to look at me, and an expression of confusion was apparent.

“Sure.”

I wasn’t sure exactly how to start. I looked around to make sure no one was within earshot.

“Can you keep this between us?”

More confusion and a frown appeared. I had a feeling that if I didn’t start explaining, he’d get up and leave.

“I know you’re best friends with Everett and Graves—”

“That’s right. So if this is something snide about either of them, you’re going to lose my attention quickly.”

Jesus. What the fuck is it about people being so fucking loyal to Everett and Graves?

“No, it’s not about them.” I paused and studied the water lapping over the edge while the naked girls screeched and giggled in the pool. “My brother has lung cancer, and he’s having surgery in a few days.”

Matt sat up and turned to face me to listen.

“I’m wondering if you know much about lobectomy surgery.”

His eyes began moving from side to side, and he spewed out some basic info that I’ve already read about.

“Where is he having the procedure?”

“Oakland. He lives up there.”

Matt nodded and spoke further about recovery and such.

“I’m sorry, Paul. Oncology isn’t my specialty. I have a general practice with a few other doctors but still maintain shifts in the emergency room a few nights a week.”

I nodded and thanked him for his time before standing up. I was going to make one last round through the club before calling it a night. The dungeon was alive with tantalizing sights and sounds. There was a small crowd gathered in front of a cell, and as I neared it, I could hear Everett’s voice.

The girl was suspended by rope...which I knew was the work of Graves. Everett wasn’t into rigging, Graves was the one with that talent. At a waist level height, the sub was able to suck on Everett while Graves was down on one knee with his face buried in her pussy. As he devoured her, he flicked a crop upward, spanking her nipples with it.

The woman’s moans of pleasure filled the dungeon hall as the onlookers watched. Anytime these two co-topped, people gathered to watch if it was possible to get a good vantage point. Me included, though I always tried blocking Everett out. I couldn’t stand watching him in a dungeon cell with Graves.

That night, the need to connect with Graves was so great that it pulled me out of bed. I pulled over my tablet and began another email.

I read it a few times before attaching the delivery and read receipt notifications then sending it. I spent another half hour looking at my “not mine yet” album on Kinky Links until I was so hard I had to jack off.

Shaking my head, I gazed at the images.

“You have no idea what you’re missing,” I said out loud.

* * *

“Princess, I know you were looking forward to visiting next weekend but with Johnny’s surgery in a few days, I think I need to concentrate on him,” I said into the phone.

“I understand, J.P. Please don’t worry about my visit. We will arrange one once you’re back in town.”

I planned on flying up to Oakland to stay with him for a few days. Due to my quick trip to Oakland, Amy and I postponed our visit until things were calm again with my brother.

The night before my flight, I checked my email and found a nice surprise. It wasn’t an email from Graves, but rather an email from Matt. He sent me several attachments about the surgery my brother was having and about recovery, testing after surgery and medications.

After spending hours combing through the information, I sent Matt an email thanking him.

And still nothing from Graves.

* * *

I paid very close attention to the medications his doctors had him on. With so many doctors managing his care it wouldn’t be uncommon for them to not know what the other one is prescribing. It was in the hands of the pharmacist to catch any possible interactions.

Jay and I were by his side when the techs came in to get him for the surgery. Johnny looked nervous and asked the techs for a moment to talk to Jay and me.

“Guys, if I don’t make it—”

I glanced at Jay and then back at Johnny,

“Don’t talk like that, Johnny. You’re going to be fine,” Jay said and leaned over to hug Johnny.

“Yeah, you’re going to make it. We’ll be here when you’re out of surgery,” I said.

I leaned over and gave my brother a hug. Possibly for the last time.

“I love you, man. Now, don’t worry. You’ll be fine,” I said and squeezed his thin arms.

As the techs wheeled Johnny out of the room, I saw tears roll down his face. I concentrated hard on breathing steady and focused on the techs and Johnny’s bed. Jay’s hand clasped my shoulder, and he shook me some. When I looked at him, I saw that he was crying too. I pulled Jay into a hug and reassured him that Johnny would be okay. When we pulled apart, Jay said he needed to call his wife and let her know they took Johnny back. I nodded and walked down the hallway toward the cafeteria.

With a cup of coffee sitting next to me, I sent Amy a text. She was all I had to turn to. Blake and I used to be close, but that had fallen apart over Graves.

I sipped the coffee and welcomed the back and forth texts with Amy. When I asked her how the book was coming, I felt like she understood that I needed the distraction of something. Her book was almost done and she thought she’d have it completed in about a week.

Four and a half hours later, the surgeon came out to tell us that they were able to remove what they believed was the affected portion of the lung and that he was in post-operative care right now. After the surgeon left, I sent a text to Amy and let her know that Johnny was out of surgery.

While the surgery had gone well and as expected, the recovery time would be extensive. He had to take another leave of absence from work, but I knew that this could only go on for so long. As my brother slept in the hospital bed, Jay and I talked about the reality of Johnny returning to work.

“He’s not going to be able to work for a while. And he might even need to move in with the boys and us,” Jay said quietly.

I nodded and stared at my brother sleeping. If Johnny moved in with Jay, it would be a good thing. Jay and his wife would be able to take care of him and ensure he got the care that was needed.

Financially, it might cause a little strain on Jay and his wife. Since Jay would be taking on the day to day care for Johnny, I volunteered to help with the financial burden. Hospitals are understaffed and overcrowded, so I knew Johnny would be released probably before he was really ready. He would need home health care and rehab for a while. And I would help with this cost.

* * *

As I waited in the airport for my flight home, I couldn’t help but feel powerless. There was nothing I could do for my brother to ensure the cancer doesn’t come back. If I had a lot of money, my brother would have a better shot. Maybe better doctors, or better home health care. My nephews wouldn’t have to share a room so their uncle could have one of their rooms.

Fucking money.

It made everything better. Just like my father told us over and over as kids. My brothers never bought into it...but I did. My brothers could preach about how happiness was being surrounded by family and friends. But the second you get sick; your life depended upon how much you have. Money beats illnesses. It sustains health so you can wear that fucking smile with your family.

Money is everything.

And I knew a handful of guys that had everything.

Pushing the weight of my family situation out of my mind, I shifted my thoughts to one of those guys that had everything under the fucking sun…Graves. Opening my email app on my phone, I scrolled for responses to the emails that I’ve sent him. Still nothing. What the fuck was wrong with that guy?

All I could think about until I boarded was wanting to chain Graves up in the cell and flog him until all that fire erupted in him. Then I’d watch him burn and struggle until he begged me to make the pain stop.