“Thank you,” I say to the hostess as she shows me to our table. Sinking onto the leather padded seat, I pick up the cloth napkin and smooth it out over my black dress.

Two days without Josh shouldn’t be a big deal at all. We went months without seeing each other before and we survived. Now, instantly, I want to spend every moment I can with him and I miss him terribly when we’re apart.

How did this happen?

How did he become such an integral part of my life so quickly?

Spending time with him has become essential to my happiness. He makes me laugh at myself which is something I’ve never been able to do. I’ve always been the type to dwell on past mistakes and let them drag me down. He’s proving to be the perfect person to help me lighten up.

There’s a lot Josh doesn’t know about me - a lot no one knows about me. I’m a private person, not someone who reveals too many details of their past and all for good reasons.

“Elle,” the deep unapproving tone of my father’s voice has me raising my head from the cell phone screen I’ve been staring at. Josh and I have been texting on and off all day. The joy I felt at reading his last message is overshadowed by the dread I’m experiencing from my father’s presence.

Placing the phone down on the table, I feel like a kid with my hand caught in the cookie jar. “Daddy,” I say with a demure nod in his direction as he pulls out his chair and sits down.

There’s no father-daughter affection exchanged. Hugs and smiles aren’t allowed. It’s all about business with him, even when it comes to his own family. Always has been and always will be. I gave up long ago imagining things would magically change. Our relationship is never going to be what I want or what I’ve always assumed most fathers and daughters are like.

“How have you been?” His tone is curt as usual. I’ve spent most of my life looking for his approval and wishing I didn’t care if I received it or not.

“Fine, thank you. And you?” I fold my hands in my lap and portray the perfect lady as I was taught to.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I invited you here.” He sips on the glass of water the waitress placed on the table before he arrived.

Shrugging my shoulders, I wait for him to continue. If I act too interested he’s liable to cease talking. As much as I’m dreading finding out why I’ve been summoned here after six months without any previous word from him; I need to know.

His eyes lock on me with hawk like intensity. “Scott is going to invite you to dinner. I want you to accept.”

My heart pounds at the mere mention of his name. Nausea assaults me as I conjure up an image of his face. “No,” I say, firmly.

He raises a brow. “No?” he questions, leaning forward.

Shaking my head, I chew on my bottom lip, anxious at what comes next.

“You will do as I say. His father and I are business partners and the logical step is for the two of you to get married in the next year or two.”

“No,” I yell, then lower my head in embarrassment.

“Elle.” His tone is curt and deep.

Even though he only called my name, there’s an order being given. Obey me or else.

“Dad, I don’t want to go out with Scott. I already have a boyfriend,” I say, trying to reason with him.

“Elle, need I remind you of the many benefits my business affords you? Unfortunately, that comes with a price. Now, when Scott calls, the answer will be yes. You’ll conduct yourself appropriately on your dinner date and on every one thereafter. Are we clear?”

I nod, solemnly, while my mind is in a tailspin. What am I going to tell Josh?

* * *

Three Years Ago

“I’m glad to see you and Scott are doing so well. His father and I have big plans for him,” my father says.

“Dad, I think I’m going to break up with him.”

“You’ll do no such thing. Stop being so selfish. We have a billion dollar business and he’s going to be part of it.”

“I don’t care if he has money, or not. I don’t want to be with him.”

“Elle, you don’t have a choice in the matter.”

“Dad, he hits me...he hurts me.” I stare into his eyes, pleading him to comfort me for once in my life.

“You know Elle, your biggest problem is you only think of yourself. Do you know what making false accusations can do to a person’s reputation?”

“I’m not making it up, though.”

“Yes, you are. I don’t ever want to hear you say something like this again. Scott will be your husband, someday. I’m not sure why you think you have a say in the matter.” His hand comes down on the table top with a resounding bang. “With all I provide for you, the least you can do is cooperate on this one thing.”

My eyes lower to stare down at my folded hands. “Okay,” I whisper.

“I can’t hear you.”

“I’ll stay with him,” I answer meekly. Maybe if I do this one thing for my dad, he’ll finally be proud of me.

* * *

Thursdays are my fourth favorite day of the week because it means only one more work day and then two days off. By the time I make it to my lunch break, the rest of the day will fly by and Friday, my third favorite day, will be here before I know it.

Sometimes, I eat a small lunch at my desk, but today I’m absolutely famished. The elevator ride down from the thirty seventh floor is quick and my mouth waters as I imagine what the large deli sandwich I’ve been thinking about all morning will taste like.

Exiting the revolving glass door, I step onto the sidewalk and find Josh leaning back against the modern steel and glass structure. I smile reflexively. Seeing him makes me happy - spending time with him, even better.

He pushes off the wall and my eyes drink him in as he walks toward me in faded jeans, hugging his muscular thighs and a tight eighties concert tee. His sunglasses hooked on the neck show off his masculine and relaxed style. The colorful tattoos on his arms peek out the bottom of his sleeves and make me long for his arms to be wrapped around me.

He pulls me against his chest for a long hug as if he’s read my mind. “Hi. God, I missed you.”

“Hi. This is a pleasant surprise.” Leaning my chin on his chest, I stare up at him. “You have seriously improved my day. I made it through the long morning dreaming about lunch and now I can think about you for the rest of the afternoon.”

“I’m here to take you out for a quick bite to eat. I realize you only have an hour so I was thinking we’d head over to the Marketplace.”

“Okay, sounds great,” I say with a smile.

He releases his hold on me and slips his aviators on, before taking my hand. We stroll along the busy sidewalk; the bright afternoon sun beats down on the top of my head. I’m glad I had the forethought to grab my sunglasses from my desk.

“How’s your day been so far?” he asks.

“It’s been tolerable, but it’s definitely improving now.” I squeeze his hand. It’s hard to believe something as simple as our fingers being clasped together has my stomach fluttering with anticipation.

“I haven’t seen you in three days. I couldn’t wait a second longer.” He glances over, shining a smile at me. I can see my reflection in his glasses and I look ridiculously cheerful. “And it was now or not until tomorrow because I have a packed schedule from midafternoon until closing tonight.”

“You work too much. All work and no play makes for no fun.”

“I have to work a lot. The first six months of a new business can make or break it. If I want to be choosy about which painting jobs I accept, then I need to have the steady income from the studio.”

“I understand. I don’t want you to overdo it. I worry about you.”

“You do?” he questions.

“I do. You need to enjoy life too.”

“I like knowing you care enough to worry about me. I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”

“I care more than you know, Josh.”

He stops walking and pulls me to the side, avoiding the other pedestrians. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For admitting how you feel about me. I can tell it’s not easy for you to do.”

I chew on my bottom lip for a moment. “No, it’s not. It’s scares the crap out of me, but the thought of being without you scares me more.”

Cupping my cheek with his palm, he studies my face. I can’t see his eyes with his mirrored shades, but I can feel the heat of his stare on my flushed cheeks and red lips.

“I don’t ever want to be apart from you, Elle. The last few days nearly killed me. I couldn’t concentrate at work.” His fingertips trail down my cheek and trace the shape of my jaw. “You’re all I can think about. I’m falling for you and I love everything about it.”

Gripping his wrist with my hand, I turn my face, placing a kiss on his callused palm.

“Come on.” He holds his hand out for me. “Let’s get you some lunch.”

We enter the market food hall and I’m sure of where I want to go. All thoughts of the pastrami sandwich I was planning on having are forgotten as we approach my favorite thai food place.

“I think I know what you want,” Josh mentions with a smirk.

“I’m sure you do.” One of the advantages of dating someone who’s a close friend is we already know each other’s likes and dislikes.

Josh orders chicken pad Thai for both of us and grabs us each a bottle of water while I scope out the surrounding area for an empty table. Finding one along the edge of the room, I gesture for him to follow me as I make my way to the table for two. This is as close to privacy as we can get for the moment.

We sit across from one another and immediately dig into the delicious meal. I keep reminding myself to eat like a lady and not suck the noodles into my mouth like I do when I’m home alone. But then I think of how Josh and I have slurped noodles together on more than one occasion. Why should things be any different now? My next bite I suck the last two inches into my mouth noisily. He smiles at me before doing the same. I’m not sure why such a small thing has me breathing a sigh of relief, but it does. Maybe it’s because we can still be the same people we always were with each other. I don’t know what made me think there’s a need for pretense with Josh. He’s the least pretentious person I’ve ever met and one of the most easy-going ones too. Roll with the punches is a phrase which must have been coined with him in mind. Not much unnerves him. He’s solid and reliable. He’s also sexy and confident in an unassuming way; two qualities I don’t see in most of the men I meet.

“What did you do last night? I never got a chance to ask you.” He sips from his water bottle. “By the time I was done with work, I was ready to crash. As soon as I texted you, I was out for the night.”

“I went to dinner with my father.” I mumble before taking another bite of chicken.

“That’s nice. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about your father - or your mother for that matter.”

“There’s not much to tell. My father is a very successful businessman and my mother is his trophy wife. She’s a former beauty queen he charmed into marrying him.” I shrug my shoulders, unenthusiastically. “Now she’s his arm candy at every gala and fundraiser they attend. Once they’re back home behind closed doors they go their separate ways. I barely speak to either one of them.”

“How’s your relationship with him?”

“What relationship? He only calls me when he wants me to attend some function or to pretend to be the well-behaved daughter.”

“Did he ask anything of you, last night?” he asks, with a look of concern.

Shit. Frowning, I stare down at my almost bare plate. I can’t tell Josh what’s expected of me, even if I have no plans of following through with what my father ordered me to do. “He wants me to go to dinner, sometime,” I answer vaguely. Keeping things vague is better than outright lying. This is what I tell myself so I won’t feel such a crushing sense of guilt, but it’s not working. I still feel it, weighing heavily on me, bearing down on me with every passing second, when I don’t confess to him exactly what my father demanded of me.

He places his hand over mine on the table. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. If you don’t want to talk about him, we won’t.”

My gaze moves up to meet his. I lose myself in the emerald of his eyes. It’s true that green is the most calming color. Looking in his eyes, instantly soothes me. All sense of anxiety leaves and is replaced with a warm fluttering in my chest. “He’s not worth talking about and neither is my mother. I don’t see either of them more than a handful of times each year. I came to grips with what shitty parents they are a long time ago. Besides, I’d much rather hear how you’ve been. How’s work?”

“Busy. I’m grateful things are going so well.” His thumb caresses across the skin on the back of my hand. “I’m taking part in an exclusive art competition. I doubt I stand a chance, but it’s an honor to have been asked.”

“Joshua Dawson, how can you say you don’t have a chance. Your art is incredible.”

“You might be a little biased.” He winks.

“You of all people should know I’m not one to beat around the bush. If I thought your art sucked, I’d tell you.”

“Even now?”

“Yeah. Why would now be any different than any other time?”

“Because you want to see me naked.” He smirks.

“I’ve already seen you naked,” I boast, smiling.

“Okay, well I want to see you naked.”

“What does this have to do with me being biased about your art?”

“Absolutely nothing. I’m just putting it out there.” He smiles and my heart lurches inside my chest.

“If I remember correctly, I offered to get naked the other night.”

“Yes, you did and I’m kicking myself for not taking you up on the offer too. I’m getting tired of pretending my left hand is yours.”

“I thought you were a righty?”

“I am, but my right hand is too strong.” He chuckles when he notices my surprised expression. “What? Didn’t expect me to tell you?”

“Uh, no. I didn’t, but I like knowing you do. It’s hot. Can I watch, sometime?”

“Elle, you can do whatever you want. There’s not much I wouldn’t do to you or let you do to me.”

“Hmm, that statement opens you up for a lot of questions.” I tap my nails on the table. “How do you feel about anal play?”

“I’m all for fucking your ass.”

“Uh, uh, not so fast. I’m talking about your ass.”

“No one’s fucking my ass.”

“I’m not talking about strapping one on. I’m talking about a finger in your ass. Yes or no?”

“Hell no.”

“How do you feel about a ménage scenario? Have you ever had one?”

“Yes, I have.”

Wait. What? “You’ve had a three way? With who?” My voice sounds shrill to my ears. Why does the thought of him being with two girls at the same time bother me?

“It was freshman year of college with two of the girls who lived on the same floor as me. We were all drinking one night and things got a little crazy.” He studies me for a moment. “Does this surprise you that much?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I’m a little shocked. I didn’t expect this from you.” More like a lot shocked.

“What about you?” He points his fork at me.

“What about me?” I don’t like where this is going.

“Have you?”

“Yeah.”

“When and with whom?” he questions with a frown, placing his fork on his plate.

Raking my teeth over my bottom lip, I’m unsure of what I should say. Do I answer with the bare minimum or do I tell him the full extent of my experiences in this instance? “Daryl and Rick, junior year of college.”

“Daryl and Rick from the football team?”

“Yep.”

“Who else?”

“What do you mean who else?” I question, nervously.

“Who else did you have one with?”

“What makes you think I had more than one?

“Elle, do we really need to play this game? Just tell me. Rip the band aid off, for Christ’s sake.”

“Fine, but don’t get mad when I tell you,” I warn. I take a sip of water to soothe my dry throat. “Greg and Mitch, senior year of college.”

“Greg and Mitch? Really?” he growls.

“Yes.”

“My fucking roommates. I can’t believe you slept with my friends. I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“Well, you were in love with my best friend and fucked her more than once so I guess you don’t really have much to complain about.”

He looks contrite. “I guess I didn’t think about it that way.”

“Nope, you didn’t. You were too busy judging me. I’ve never lied about my past or tried to hide it from you or anyone else, Josh.” I pull my hand out from under his and tuck my hair behind my ear. “What you see is what you get. If you can’t handle my past you should probably walk away now because I can’t erase or change it. I wouldn’t want to even if I could. I’m not ashamed of who I am.”

“Why do you assume I want out so easily? I want you, Elle. Your past doesn’t matter to me. It’s where we go from here that’s important and I think we’re headed for great things.” He reaches across the table capturing my hand once more. “You’re not getting rid of me so easily. I’ll never be upset with you for telling me the truth. It’s lies I have a problem with.”

“You say this now, but there’s a lot you still don’t know about me.”

“And there’s a lot I already love about you. Have some faith, Elle.”

Easier said than done.