The squeal of Elle’s laughter reaches my ears and has me downing the rest of my beer. I’m glad she’s having a good time, but knowing it’s with Johnny, sucks. Tossing the empty one in the barrel, I dig through the ice in the cooler until I see the familiar green of a Heineken. Closing my hand around the bottle, I grip it like it’s a lifeline keeping me tethered in place. Maybe for today, alcohol will be what gets me through. God knows, it’s not gonna be easy. Being in Elle’s company alone is hard enough. Add in her flirting with other guys and it’s unbearable. But what did I expect? This is Elle we’re talking about. Guys flock to her and she loves the attention. She’s never going to change.

“Dude, get in there and stake your claim,” Derek says coming up beside me.

My eyes are locked on Elle as she slicks her wet hair back with both hands. The motion lifts her tits even higher and my mouth waters. I remember what they felt like in my hands, how sweet they tasted on my tongue. “Nah, man. We’re too different. It would never work out.”

“It doesn’t have to be forever, dude. There’s nothing wrong with having great sex with someone.”

Been there - done that. And now every night my hand is a poor substitute for Elle’s tight pussy as I replay our time together in my mind.

My eyes never leave her ample curves, even as I gulp down more beer. My fingers squeeze the bottle tighter when I see Johnny’s hands on her hips and the smile she aims up at him. Fuck. Why did I ever let myself imagine our night together meant anything to her. It’s been four weeks and I can’t get her out of my goddamn head. It doesn’t seem like she’s having the same problem. Then again, I was probably never in her head or her heart to begin with. Elle doesn’t do commitments or complications. She can turn the feelings on and off like a switch. If I ever doubted it before, today is all the proof I need.

I keep myself busy grilling burgers and dogs, but my chest aches with the knowledge she’s so close, but so fucking far away.

“Are you okay?” Janny asks, resting her hand on my back.

My head swivels around catching her worried blue eyes and I smile. “Yeah, it’s all good. How are you feeling? Shouldn’t you get off your feet?” I’m concerned her tiny stature can’t handle the burden of her ever expanding stomach.

She leans her head on my arm. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me. Kyle does enough for everyone.”

“I’m sure he does, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be concerned you’re overdoing it. Go sit down and put your feet up.” I gesture at the lounge chairs on the deck. “I’ll bring you a plate when it’s all ready.”

“You’re so sweet. You’re going to make some lucky lady very happy.”

I grimace at her words. The woman I love wants nothing to do with me. Which is a bitter fucking pill to swallow.

“Why’d you make a face when I said that? Don’t you think you have a lot to offer someone?”

“You didn’t seem to think so,” I blurt out. When I see the sorrowful expression on Janny’s face, I wish I could suck those hurtful words back in. “I didn’t mean that. I’m in a shit mood and I shouldn’t take it out on you.” Raking a hand through my hair I fight to keep my frustration hidden. “We both know you and I weren’t meant to be a couple. As far as finding someone who appreciates me, I hope it will happen. I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon, though.”

* * *

My hands grip the wheel so tightly my knuckles are white. Every nerve in my body is on high alert. The silence inside the vehicle is overwhelming as I give Elle a ride home. Having her with me is the last thing I expected or wanted. I couldn’t really say no when Janny asked, especially when Elle had drunk too much to drive herself. Since I didn’t want Johnny Ruiz to volunteer, I immediately agreed. Elle and I may not be meant for each other, but I’m sure as hell not okay with her being with someone else.

My eyes remain locked on the road in front of us. I won’t allow myself to look in her direction. Merely breathing in the scent of her is hard enough. She smells like a mix of her usual fruity perfume and the chlorine from the pool water she spent hours romping around in. They’re two things which should never go together, but on Elle it’s somehow alluring.

“So, how have you been?” she asks, softly. My gaze swings in her direction, just to be sure I didn’t imagine those words.

“Good.” I keep my answer as brief as possible.

“How’s business?” She rubs her palms on her lean thighs.

“Are you cold?” I ask. Is the air conditioner too much for her?

“No, not at all.” Her hands still when she clasps them in her lap.

“Business is good. I finished the City Hall paintings and the woman who brought me on board wants to hire me for some other projects around Boston.”

“Congratulations. What else have you been doing?”

“Do you really want to do this?” I question, my eyes flicking in her direction.

“Do what?”

“Pretend you care what I’m doing. You don’t need to keep up any pretense on my account. I think I have a clear picture of where we stand.”

“I do care about you,” she whispers.

I chuckle. “Yeah, I can tell. It’s all good though. I’m a big boy. I don’t need to force my attention on someone who doesn’t want it.”

“It’s not that I don’t want your attention.” She shakes her head, sighing loudly.

“Look, we had one night. Let’s leave it at that. No harm, no foul.” Shrugging my shoulders like it’s not a big deal, I play it cool. Inwardly, my chest burns like it’s been set on fire and my stomach flips repeatedly. What happened between us is a big fucking deal. I’m crazy about her and she has no idea. I’d do anything to make her happy. I’ll even pretend our night together was meaningless fun while on the inside I’m slowly dying because there’s nothing I want more than to be with her.

I park the car and walk her inside. I’m not going to let the tension between us keep me from doing what’s right. We pause in front of her door and she spins around to face me. “Do you want to come in?” she asks, biting on the edge of her lower lip.

“You and I both know that would be a colossal mistake, Elle.” I stare down into the golden warmth of her brown eyes.

“Would it? I’m not so sure. I think it would be a fun time.” She smiles flirtatiously and sets her bag down on the carpeted hallway floor. Stepping toward me, wrapping her arms around my neck, she presses her tits to my chest. “A really fun time,” she says, before catching my bottom lip with her teeth.

My fingers immediately move to grip her hair and push her back against the solid door as I connect our mouths. We fit together like we were made to always be this way. Her taste is familiar on my tongue and I can’t get enough as I hungrily devour her mouth.

“Touch me, please,” she moans against my lips.

My palm slides down her stomach and then my fingers deftly undo the button on her cutoffs. The metallic sound of the zipper being pulled down has my mouth watering for the taste of her pussy.

Licking the delicate skin of her neck, I move my lips to her ear. “You want to have some fun? Is that what you need?”

“Yes, let’s have some fun,” she giggles and then moans when my hand slides inside her bikini bottoms.

Dragging my middle finger along her slit, I groan, “so wet.” Gathering her juices, I reverse to slowly circle her clit.

“Oh God,” she moans banging her head back against the metal door.

I rub her clit faster while my other hand slides down the back of her pants following along the curve of her ass until I can push two fingers inside her hot, dripping wet pussy.

“Josh,” she moans my name, riding my hands. “Make...me...come.” Her voice is a thready whisper and her eyes are squeezed shut.

My lips trail down her neck and across her chest until I’m painting a masterpiece with my tongue across the top of her tits.

“Come on,” I urge into the dark valley between them as I pinch her clit. My lips climb back up her neck until I’m hovering over her, studying her face. I need to see her unravel. She digs her fingernails into the tops of my shoulders as her mouth drops open in a long moan. Her pussy squeezes my fingers as she trembles through her orgasm. When she settles down, I slide my fingers from her and slip them into my mouth for a final taste. Sucking all the juices off, this is the last time we’ll be in this position.

Her eyes are slits, heavy with passion as she watches me. “Do you want to come in?” she asks with a lazy smile.

“No, I’m gonna get out of here.”

“No?” she questions, looking confused.

“Look, this was fun and I’m sure if I came inside we’d have a great time. But the thing is, I’m looking for someone I can have more than hot sex with. I want it all, Elle. As much as I care for you and wish you were the girl for me, you’re not.” I run my hand back and forth over my hair. “We’re looking for different things and I don’t expect you to change your wants or needs to meet mine. We had our fun and no one can take it away from us.” She doesn’t say anything, instead staring up at me with those bottomless brown eyes while chewing on her lower lip. “Go inside so I can be sure you’re safe.” Her eyes shine brightly as she nods her head. Turning her back, she slips the key in the lock. When she pushes the door open, I grab her shoulders, spin her around and crash our lips together for a final kiss. One more taste is all I need. Then I’ll let her go. With every stroke of my tongue, every nip of my teeth, I show her how much I care - how deep my feelings run. She needs to remember this kiss for the rest of her life, like I fucking will.

My palms cup the soft skin of her cheeks as I draw back from her lips. Studying her face, I memorize every curve and angle with my artist’s eyes. Leaning forward I brush one final kiss on her wet, parted lips, letting my fingertips caress down her cheeks before falling away to rest at my sides.

Taking a step backward, I nod my head for her to go inside. She turns, without a word and enters her apartment. Our eyes connect for the last time as she pushes the door closed and I notice the sheen of tears in hers. Can she see the same in mine?