The past two weeks have crawled by at a turtle’s pace. Every day without Josh feels like three. I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied with work to distract me from how much I miss him, but it’s not helping. He’s never far from my mind, no matter how busy I try to stay.

Tonight, I’m finally going to get out and meet my girls, Janny and Kenna. I need some female interaction and distraction from the mess my love life has become. I never imagined being in this position. Things were much simpler when my heart didn’t get involved. However, I wouldn’t change a thing about the time I had with Josh except I’d wish for more of it - maybe a lifetime of days with him. Forever has a nice ring to it. I haven’t heard from Scott since the night we went to the charity auction. I’m not sure why he hasn’t ordered me to go somewhere with him yet, but I’ll take the respite from his company. It’s wishful thinking on my part, but I hope he forgets about me. Maybe he’ll meet a girl who’ll suck his dick better than anyone ever has.

Gathering up my keys and purse, as I prepare to leave, there’s a knock on the door. Frowning, at the delay this will cause, I open the door.

“Josh,” I whisper. I’m surprised to see him.

“Elle, can I come in?” he questions, both hands shoved into his front pockets.

Nodding, I step back and usher him inside, before closing the door.

Spinning around, my eyes scan over Josh. He nervously runs a hand through his hair and I notice blood on his knuckles. Catching his hand between mine, I draw it closer to my face.

Gently running a finger over the multiple raw splits in the skin on his knuckles, I peer up at him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Scott Granger, not so much.”

I gasp, one hand raising to my chest. “What did you do, Josh?”

“I did what needed to be done.”

“I didn’t want you to get involved. I don’t want any of this blowing back on you.”

“Don’t worry, it won’t. Why didn’t you tell me he was blackmailing you?”

“I was ashamed of my past with him. He has more money than he can spend in a lifetime, Josh. That means he can buy any favors he needs. Favors that could ruin your business.”

“You should’ve told me and trusted me to do what’s right. Whether we’re together or not, I’m always going to save you.”

We stare at each other in silence for what seems like forever. There are things that need to be said, but I can’t find the courage to bridge the gap.

“I’m going to give you the space you deserve. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me because you want to repay me. You don’t owe anyone anything. Not me - not your father. This is your life, Elle. Do what makes you happy. That’s all I want for you.” He leans forward, kisses my forehead and walks out of my apartment leaving me in a state of shock.

I can’t believe he beat up Scott for me. I can only pray long and hard this doesn’t come back to bite him in the ass at a later date.

* * *

Walking into Quake, my mind flashes back to the last time I was here with all my friends. It was shortly after I’d started to notice that Josh was actually hot. Before then I’d never really thought much about him or whether he was attractive. That particular night, he was out on the dance floor smoothly maneuvering around all us girls. His t-shirt was tight on his chest and biceps and his new tattoos were peeking out the bottom of his sleeve. It was like looking at him with a fresh set of eyes and seeing him as the gorgeous guy he is. That revelation freaked me out and knocked me off balance. Josh, my “friend,” became someone I tried to avoid or immaturely insulted because I didn’t know what to do with the attraction I unexpectedly developed for him.

Now, I don’t know what to do about the depth of what I feel for him for a completely different reason. Saying I love him would only hurt more. It’s a secret I’ll probably have to take to the grave with me. Maybe he’ll move on and find a girl who makes him happy. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get over him. He’s the perfect man for me. How do you move on from everything you’ve ever wanted to something less without being dissatisfied?

The loud music pulses through my body, the bass thumping in my chest as I spot Janny and Kenna at a table in the back. Smiling, I make my way through the crowd until the three of us can exchange hugs. Taking a seat at the table with them, I say, “hey, girls. How are you?”

“I’m tired,” Janny replies.

“I’m pregnant,” Kenna announces, nonchalantly.

Janny and I both scream and jump up from our seats to hug her once again.

“I’m so happy for you,” I say, tears in my eyes. And though I mean my words, I can’t help the pang of envy running through me. I’d give anything to be with Josh and to have a family together.

“I’m going to be an auntie. I can’t believe it,” Janny, says with a squeal.

“I found out this week. I’m only eight weeks along, but I had to tell you both.”

“Is Derek excited?” I ask.

“He’s ridiculously excited. He’s convinced it’s a boy because he has too much testosterone to make a girl.”

We all titter. Picturing him saying those very words isn’t much of a stretch.

“How have you been, Elle?” Janny asks.

“I’m okay. I’ve been better, I’ve been worse.” I shrug my shoulders in feigned indifference.

“What do you mean?” She watches me and I can tell her eyes see more than they should.

“I’ve been busy with work,” I answer, noncommittally.

“How are things with you and Josh?” Kenna asks, jumping in.

“We’re not together.”

“What happened?” they both ask at the same time.

“It didn’t work out.” I keep my answer vague. I can’t tell them about Scott. Now that I know what Josh did, I definitely won’t be sharing that information with anyone. “I’m okay with it though. It was for the best.”

Janny narrows her eyes at me and presses her lips together. “I’ll let it go for now, but at some point, you’re going to have to tell me what really happened.”

“I realize you can’t drink, but I need a stiff one tonight,” I say, nodding at Kenna.

“That’s what she said,” Kenna replies with a snort.

“I can tell you grew up with an older brother,” Janny tells her.

“Yeah and Derek is even worse than Kyle ever was. Half the time he treats me like one of the guys and the other half he’s busy…” her words trail off.

I laugh and gesture at her still flat stomach. “I think we know what keeps you guys occupied most of the time.”

We spend the rest of the night dancing and laughing. It was the perfect way to blow off steam and when I walk through the front door of my apartment building I still have a smile on my face and a lightness to my step.

I stop inside the main entrance to collect my mail from the bank of silver mailboxes lining the wall. I haven’t bothered to check it in a few days and there are quite a few envelopes stuffed inside. Arranging them all in a neat pile, I head down the long hallway to my apartment.

Once inside, I drop my keys on the narrow shelf inside the door and kick my shoes off. As I walk toward the kitchen I shuffle through the mail, looking for anything important. There’s a large envelope, with my name printed neatly on it and no return address. Dropping everything else on the granite counter, I slip my finger under the seal, prying it open. I pull out the card, my eyes quickly perusing the contents. It’s an invitation to the art exhibit Josh is taking part in and a reception that follows. They’re going to announce the winner of the competition during the reception.

Josh has added a note at the bottom of the page.

Elle, I’d really like you to be there. Please consider coming as my friend. It’s only right if you’re there. You were the inspiration for the artwork I entered in the competition. I’d really love for you to see it. Don’t overthink this. Just please be there. - Josh

Smiling, I lower the card to the counter. He knows me so well. I’m going to overthink this entire situation. It’s part of who I am. I want to go. I’d like to be there to see him win. Even if he doesn’t, I’d still want to be there. I’d like to see him - period. But I don’t want to piss Scott off and have him go after Josh. I have a couple of days to think about it. I’m going to get some sleep now and resume my overthinking tomorrow.

I’m on the verge of falling asleep, when my phone rings. Glancing down, my eyes squint as I try to read the name on the screen. Scott. Crap. What does he want?

“Hello,” I answer, tentatively.

“Elle,” his deep voice makes me cringe. “I wanted to let you know you’re off the hook. I don’t want you to be my girlfriend.”

“No, I don’t mind.” I raise my voice, panicked he’s going to go after Josh.

“I’m moving out of town, indefinitely.”

“What about Josh?” I can’t help but ask. I need to know what he plans to do.

“I won’t do anything to your boy. You have my word,” he says. His voice sounds muffled, like his mouth is full.

“Why do you sound weird?”

“I had an accident.”

“Oh.” What am I supposed to say to that? I’m not sorry my...Josh kicked your ass? I’m probably a horrible person for not caring.

“Take care, Elle. Good luck with everything.” He ends the call and I’m left staring at the phone in my hand. What the hell prompted that? Is the world ending and I’m unaware?

Placing my phone on the nightstand, I cuddle under my blanket. For the first time in over two weeks, I feel hopeful.