Haughty (adj.) – condescending; behaving in a superior or arrogant way
‘They’re here! They’re here!’ I called excitedly as the doorbell to Cara’s apartment chimed. I raced across the wooden floors and skidded to a halt by the front door. Flinging it open, I was greeted with Ben, Jimmy, and Jimmy’s parents, who were ushered in and began the round of kisses, hugs and formal handshakes as introductions were made. I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around my Ben, standing on tiptoe to kiss him and breathe in his smell that I’d missed so much.
‘Hey there,’ he whispered into my ear, as I closed my eyes, forgetting the bustle of bodies around us.
‘I’ve missed you.’
‘Me too.’ He placed a heavy kiss on the top of my head as I forced myself to peel away from him and be sociable. It just felt so great that he was finally here; it had been slightly strained with Shelley at times, so to have a distraction from all the wedding planning and get to hang out with my boyfriend in a non-work-related sense, in Sydney of all places, was going to be wonderful. It still made me smile that despite how much time we usually spent together I missed him so bloody much when we were apart.
‘Georgia, these are my parents, Mike and Johanna.’ Jimmy grinned.
I’d heard so much about Jimmy’s parents and, turning around to face the couple, I felt as if I already knew them.
‘Hi! So nice to properly meet you.’ I smiled, extending a hand. His dad shook it warmly and creased his eyes into a wide smile, saying how it was nice to put a face to the name for him too. His mum, Johanna, just nodded her head of expensive-looking blow-dried hair.
‘How was your flight?’ Shelley asked them, as Jimmy moved the bags inside.
‘Fine, fine,’ Johanna said with a tight smile, casting her eyes around the apartment as she spoke. ‘You’ve had your hair cut shorter.’
Shelley self-consciously brought her fingers to her pixie crop. ‘Erm, no, well, a slight trim …’
Johanna nodded her head but said no more.
‘So, I thought I’d give my parents a tour of the city, then take them to the hotel so they can check in and freshen up,’ Jimmy said, stepping between the two women. ‘What time are your parents here, babe?’
‘The table’s booked for 7 p.m.,’ Shelley mumbled, patting the back of her hair down.
‘Seven p.m.?’ Johanna repeated with a shrill cry. ‘Heavens, that’s early!’
‘Oh, well, I thought you may be tired and, well, my parents don’t really like eating too late.’
‘Maybe seven is a little early, babe. How about I give the place a call and push it back half an hour or so?’ Jimmy suggested.
I could sense Shelley bristling that he was siding with his mum over her already and they’d only been here five minutes.
‘Well, it’s that fancy place in Surry Hills, so I’m not sure how easy it will be changing the time at this late notice.’
‘It’ll be fine, trust me.’ Jimmy kissed her on the cheek and then led his parents into the kitchen to make them a drink.
Shelley set her lips into a tight line. ‘I’ll let my parents know then.’
I was about to ask Ben what he fancied doing when Shelley pulled at my sleeve.
‘Can I have a word?’ She jabbed her head towards the closed bedroom door.
Ben nodded. ‘I’ll grab a coffee, don’t mind me.’
‘What’s up?’ I asked, as Shelley smiled politely at Ben and pulled me into Cara’s bedroom.
‘You have to come for dinner with us!’ she breathed, her eyes wide and hands clasped in front of her.
‘Well, we were going to do our own thing tonight, hun, you know, I haven’t seen Ben for a while and—’
‘Please, Georgia! You’ve seen what Jimmy’s like in front of his mum. I can’t be the referee between them and my parents on my own! Please!’
I sighed. She looked desperate but she had to understand I wanted some alone time with my boyfriend.
‘Can Cara not go with you?’
‘She’s working. Please, I promise I won’t ask anything from you again,’ she whined, dropping to her knees. ‘I’ve booked, like, the fanciest restaurant in town just to impress them, which I already know my parents are going to hate!’ I went to protest once more but was cut off. ‘Call it your duty as maid of honour.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Fine, but don’t be pulling that card again.’
*
The meal was a disaster.
The restaurant was what I’d describe as urban slash industrial meets trendy and up its own arse. You know the type, where it’s all exposed brick, steel and uncomfortable chairs around distressed wooden tables. People walking, sorry gliding, around as if they’ve pulled one of the pointless iron bars lining the walls to stick up their arses. Everyone pausing from their conversations to turn and see if the latest diners were worth their attention or not. A place that specialises in a mix of Asian-fusion served with a side of intimidation. It was not a place I’d choose to eat but Johanna seemed in her element. It was possibly the first time I’d seen a smile crack on her smooth Botoxed cheeks as she took in the soft, plinky-plonky music, the ridiculously handsome bar staff and the supermodel-sized waitresses who looked like they could do with a good meal themselves. I felt Shelley’s mum, Patty, stiffen beside me as she wound her scarf from her neck and seemed to shrivel in on herself. She was the complete opposite of perfectly groomed Johanna. When we’d been introduced, she’d effortlessly pulled me into a warm hug, smelling of gingerbread, unlike the frosty welcome from Jimmy’s mum.
Patty was a shorter, pear-shaped version of Shelley, with wiry greys peppering her blonde bob; she looked like a kindly dinner lady in her crocheted cardigan and the type of beige trousers that can only be referred to as slacks. Shelley’s dad, Keith, was seen before he was heard. Easily over six foot tall, broad and bearded, he could pass as Father Christmas on his day off in his paint-splattered jeans and checked shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I guessed that was where Cara’s height came from. The room suddenly seemed to shrink as he entered.
‘Georgia!’ he boomed in thick Aussie tones. His previously narrowed eyes creased into a smile and he opened his wide arms to embrace me. I cautiously accepted the strong hug, though it almost knocked the wind from my chest, as he let out a bark of a laugh which instantly put me at ease.
‘You don’t mind us being here, do you?’ I asked Ben, as we took our places at the table.
‘As long as I get you all to myself tomorrow.’
‘Deal.’ I grinned. ‘Although, you’re going to be hit with jet lag.’ I shuddered, remembering how ill I’d felt when I first arrived.
‘Nah, I’ll be fine.’ I pulled a “we’ll see” face. ‘Well, how about we sack off doing the Coogee to Bondi walk, or the Harbour Bridge climb? I’m sure lunch near the Opera House won’t be too taxing.’ He winked.
‘That sounds perfect!’
‘So, Shelley, tell me how the plans are going?’ Johanna asked once we were all seated with large menus spread out in front of us and had finished ordering a round of drinks.
‘Oh yep, all fine, it’s all coming together,’ Shelley said, rubbing Jimmy’s arm.
‘I thought you might need some help; planning a wedding can be overwhelming.’
‘Well, that’s what Lars is for I guess.’ I smiled, noticing Shelley’s jaw tense.
‘Lars?’ Johanna flicked her hair and looked at me.
‘Yeah, you know, the guy you—’
‘Anyone know what they’re having for a starter?’ Shelley interrupted me and wafted a menu in my face. What the? She wouldn’t meet my eye but I could see her firmly shaking her head. Was there something I was missing here?
‘We have done quite a lot ourselves, haven’t we, love?’ Patty piped up, running her white linen napkin between her fingers for something to do with her hands before the drinks arrived.
‘Oh, really?’ Johanna raised an HD brow.
‘We wanted to make it personal,’ Patty explained, trying not to squirm under Johanna’s cold stare. ‘You know how it is, we just wanted to put our own touch on things, so we’ve been busy making a few crafts and decorations to help add a certain something.’
You could tell that Johanna imagined the certain something was bound to be distasteful. She was not the type of woman who would know what to do with a glue gun.
‘So, Johanna, Shelley tells us you’re both heading off to Fiji after here?’ Ben said, moving the conversation away from weddings, much to the relief of everyone.
Johanna smiled tightly at the waitress, who placed our drinks down, and took a long, slow sip of her vodka and slimline tonic before answering. ‘Yes, well, we thought as we’ve come all this way we may as well make the most of it,’ she purred. ‘You’re both so lucky being able to go there all the time, what with it being practically on your doorstep,’ Johanna said to Keith and Patty.
Patty paused and flicked a look at Shelley. ‘Well, we’ve never been. Not really big ones for travel. I think that’s why our Shell makes up for it.’
Johanna looked confused that someone wouldn’t want to jet off to Fiji every weekend when it was so close. ‘Oh, right.’
‘I’m sure it will be lovely though,’ Patty mused, as she pulled her reading glasses from her battered-looking handbag to peer at the confusing menu.
‘Well, this is a bit bloody fancy.’ Keith sat back in his chair, staring at the menu with trepidation. ‘Needs its own translator if you ask me. I don’t understand what’s wrong with places telling you what the dishes actually are, rather than requiring you to guess or keep your mouth shut in case of embarrassing yourself. I mean, what the hell is soil doing on a menu?’
Michael laughed in solidarity. ‘I think that’s the new term for dried-up scraps made to look like soil; don’t worry, it’s edible.’
‘You mean we are paying to eat dirt?’ Keith grunted, shaking his head at such a preposterous idea. I spotted Patty dab her napkin to her flushed cheeks.
‘I had it once at this place in Copenhagen; it’s not actually as bad as you might expect,’ Michael said.
Johanna was looking longingly at the table next to us with two couples, the women in expensive evening dresses and the men in smart suits, as if she wished she could pull up a chair with them instead.
‘So, how was your journey?’ Patty asked Jimmy’s parents, cutting off her husband from grumbling that they’d be serving up compost and calling it haute cuisine next.
Johanna rolled her eyes. ‘Long. It’s such a long way from anywhere around here, isn’t it? I mean, not only do you lose a day of your life travelling, you then have to switch your body clock. I just don’t see why anyone would bother doing that all the time.’
I heard Keith mutter under his breath that that may explain why her son had chosen to live on the other side of the world from his mother.
‘Flying business is really the only way to make it bearable,’ Johanna added.
Keith’s eyes grew wide at this; I could almost see him working out the cost of two return business-class flights from London.
‘Oh, very nice,’ Patty mused. ‘I once got to go into the VIP lounge at the airport.’
Shelley laughed gently. ‘That’s only because you got lost and then swiped all the free cakes into your handbag before they kicked you out!’
Patty let out a tinkle of a laugh at the memory. ‘Oh, it was mortifying really. I had jam from the mini doughnuts leaking in my handbag for the whole flight!’
‘I’d do exactly the same,’ Michael said kindly, as Johanna looked horrified at the thought of cream scones ruining the lining of her Louis Vuitton. ‘May as well make the most out of every opportunity you get, right?’
‘So, Georgia, what do you think of our great land?’ Keith boomed over the table. ‘You work in the travel industry, don’t you?’ he asked, confusing me with the change of topic.
‘Erm, yep, I do, well, Ben and I both do …’
‘Well then, here’s a thought for you.’ He paused; Shelley and Patty both groaned in unison. ‘Now, don’t be like that, Georgia here might understand that this is a fantastic idea.’ Keith turned to me. ‘Why don’t you set up a tour that allows people to come to Australia and see all of the Big Things in one journey. It would be quite a long trip, the logistics would need working out …’ He trailed off, rubbing his bushy moustache, thinking hard. ‘I guess the only issue would be that there are over one hundred and fifty to see, and they’re spread all over the country …’
‘Plus, once you’ve seen one big poo, you’ve seen them all,’ Jimmy teased.
‘There’s a big poo?’ I repeated, quickly apologising as Johanna tutted, making Shelley and her dad laugh. ‘Sorry.’
‘Yeah, we’re not so sure about that one either.’ Keith rubbed at his beard.
‘Can we stop talking about the Big Things? I want to hear all about what you’ve got planned with your parents whilst they’re here!’ Patty smiled at Jimmy expectantly.
‘Hopefully a bit of sightseeing, well, if we can fit it in.’ He glanced at Shelley. ‘We’ve got a lot to get through during the next few days but hopefully we can schedule in some downtime.’
‘Oh, you’ve got your bucks’ night coming up too, haven’t you?’ Patty asked Ben and Jimmy, whose faces lit up at the thought of Jimmy’s last night of freedom.
‘Yes, but he’s promised me that he won’t be too hungover to help get the flowers the next day,’ Shelley chided.
‘Already under the thumb, eh, lad!’ Michael chuckled, and caught the waitress’s attention for another drink. ‘Good for you, I say. Enjoy it all before you become a father and have real responsibilities.’
Jimmy laughed. ‘We’ll see.’
‘Ben, you got any plans for the pitter-patter of tiny feet any time soon?’ Johanna asked, leaning over the table, flashing my boyfriend the full view of her crêpey breasts.
Ben choked on the bite of bread he had just taken and let out a dramatic cough, quickly picking up his glass of water to wash it down.
‘I’ll take that as a no!’ Keith chortled.
Ben smiled and cleared his throat, giving my leg a squeeze next to him. ‘I don’t think children are exactly on our list of priorities. There’s just too much going on with the business for one.’
‘But one day you’ll want to have children?’ Johanna pushed. ‘No?’
‘I guess if it did happen it would be way, way, waaaaaay in the future.’
I fixed on a smile, feeling the eyes of the other diners turn to me. I didn’t want them to see that I was shocked that starting a family had been taken off the agenda so firmly. I always knew that it would be tough managing parenthood with growing our business, but I hadn’t realised just how against the idea he was.
‘Well, you don’t want to be putting your career over kids for too long,’ Patty chimed, giving Shelley a loving glance. ‘You either, love.’
‘Yes, but they’ll be back in England when that happens, won’t you?’ Johanna said.
‘England?’ Keith piped up. ‘There’s no way my firstborn grandchild is growing up over there.’
Patty patted his clenched fist. Shelley took a big gulp of her wine and Jimmy fiddled with his linen napkin.
‘Well, as soon as they come back home they’re bound to find a nice place to live and start making a family.’ Johanna had Keith’s eye in a tight stare as she spoke.
Keith slapped a thick hand on the table, making everything shudder. ‘They’re not going back to England,’ he growled. ‘This is their home.’
‘The thing is, Mum …’ Jimmy tried to act as peacemaker.
‘James Arnold Priors, you promised me that you would get married and then come home.’ Johanna was starting to shake with the effort of controlling her emotions.
Patty had welled up, Keith was leaning forward almost menacingly over the table and Shelley was shredding the menu into tiny pieces.
Jimmy took a deep breath. ‘Well, this is our home now, Mum. Here, in Australia.’
‘It’s not a bad place to raise a family.’ Ben jumped in to save his best friend and try to lighten the tone.
‘You don’t even want children,’ Johanna snapped at him and turned pleadingly towards her daughter-in-law. ‘Shelley, you can’t do this to me.’
‘Well, she won’t be taking her children away from us either!’ Keith barked, forcing Michael to finally look up from the wine list he was staring at intently. ‘Bloody Londoners,’ he muttered. His eyes narrowed at Johanna and Michael as he raised his wine glass to his lips, leaving a dark drop of liquid on the white hairs of his chin.
‘Dad, don’t start,’ Shelley mumbled.
‘Start what?’ He turned to his daughter with an innocent look.
‘That’ll do, dear,’ Patty squeaked.
Keith grumbled something under his breath.
Shelley’s cheeks were flushed and the vein on her temple was throbbing under the dim light. ‘Let’s all just calm down. I’m not even pregnant or planning on being pregnant any time soon,’ she said, her voice wobbling. ‘I just wanted us to have a nice meal out altogether.’ She threw her chair back and raced off to the ladies’ toilet, almost knocking over a waiter who was bringing out our starters. ‘I need to get some air.’
‘Oh goodness.’ Patty sniffed, whilst rummaging in her handbag for a tissue, hopefully one that didn’t have the remnants of stolen airport cake on it.
‘I’ll go and check on her,’ I said, getting to my feet.
‘See what you’ve done now,’ Michael chastised his wife, who was muttering under her breath about how stupid this country was and how it had ruined everything. Everything!
‘I wish they hadn’t even boarded that flight,’ Shelley said, blowing her nose into crumpled toilet paper as I pushed the door into the even dimmer light of the industrial-style toilets. ‘Sorry, I just needed a second to myself. You saw how pissed off his mum was, finding out that we’re not moving back to England once the wedding is over.’
‘I’m amazed she even managed to frown judging by the amount of Botox she’s had.’ That made Shelley flash a small smile. ‘It’s probably a shock to her, but she’ll come around. This is your life, not theirs, remember?’
‘I guess.’ She shrugged.
‘Come on, let’s go back out there. God knows if anyone will be talking to each other and, if they are, then I’m not sure how Ben will cope being grilled about children any more.’ I was slightly worried that we’d return to find the table on its side, Keith and Michael in a headlock and Johanna sobbing into her pricy glass of Pinot Noir.
‘Yeah, he seemed pretty adamant that they’re not on the cards for a long time.’ Shelley winced.
‘I know!’ I shook my head. ‘I mean, I’m not planning them for a while either, but still it was a little awkward hearing him dismiss them so hurriedly.’ I paused, ‘What was the Lars thing about? Johanna looked like she didn’t have a clue what I was going on about?’
She rubbed at the flakes of mascara under her eyes. ‘She probably got confused, but actually it’s for the best if you keep it to yourself. I haven’t told my parents about Lars as my mum would be crushed if she thought her help wasn’t needed.’
‘Ah.’ I nodded, peering at my own reflection and thinking I probably should have done something about my eyebrows before the wedding. ‘But it might help break the ice and show your dad that his parents are financially helping towards the big day?’
‘No!’ Shelley cried. ‘I mean, no, better not to mention money. I think we need to steer any more conversations away from the wedding.’
‘And babies,’ I grumbled as we walked back out to the table. I felt utterly exhausted and a little confused that maybe I didn’t know Ben as well as I thought I did.