Sagacious (adj.) – Shrewd. Showing keen mental discernment and good judgement
An hour and a half later and we were ready to go. Cara looked remarkable now she was fully made up, coiffed and had a stomach full of coffee and buttery toast. The team deserved a medal for transforming the girl from The Ring into the glamour puss who was standing – well, swaying – in front of us. Shelley had snapped that she didn’t need Cara’s shit today, but then softened when she realised Cara was in no mood to fight back. The gift of a delicate rose-gold charm bracelet from Jimmy, which had arrived in the midst of this, had helped relax the mood too.
Shelley looked resplendent. The make-up artist had added colour to her previously pale cheeks, covered up that nasty breakout of spots and made her eyes sparkle with a fine dusting of shimmering gold eye shadow and peach glossy lips. Her pixie cut hair had been blow-dried into a glossy sleek style, with a thin, rose-gold, boho headpiece artfully sitting centre stage of her forehead, the delicate chain trailing down the back of her slim neck.
Shelley’s phone buzzed to life as we posed for some group photos.
‘I’ll get it!’ I shouted and picked it up. ‘Oh, hi,’ I said to the chauffeur. ‘We’re running a little bit late but almost ready!’
‘Ah.’ The thick Aussie tones of the driver made my heart stop.
‘That’s okay, isn’t it?’ I glanced up at the clock. ‘You are coming, aren’t you?’ I asked, hoping Shelley couldn’t hear me.
‘Sorry, darl, I’m on my way but there’s been a massive smash on the A8. It’s chaos out here. All other routes are totally blocked. Unless you can push your wedding back a few hours, I doubt you’re going to make it by car.’
Noooooo! ‘What can we do? We need to be on Shelly Beach by 2 p.m.!’
He let out a deep sigh. ‘Your best option is to jump on a ferry. The fast boat will get you there in twenty minutes.’
I hung up and took a deep breath to break the news that Shelley’s plush motor had just been swapped for a diesel-splattered, chugging boat.
‘Um, Shell.’ I headed over to her. ‘There’s a slight problem.’
She snapped her head up at me so fast I thought she’d done herself an injury. ‘What?’
‘The roads are blocked. We need to get a ferry over to the ceremony.’
She closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips to the bridge of her nose. ‘Fine. Can you just sort it?’
I was both shocked and pleased by her reaction. ‘Course, I’m on it.’
*
Shelley had decided to carry her dress to get changed into once we were off the ferry to make sure there was no chance of it getting dirty en route. To save time, both Cara and I were wearing our spectacular bridesmaid dresses and were under strict orders not to mark even one crease. Thankfully, the alterations to my dress had been done and long billowing folds of fabric covered any slightly perceptible bump. We both had our stupid floral garlands on our heads, which were attracting a lot of annoying little flies around our faces.
Shelley’s dad, Keith, was waiting at the ferry terminal for us. ‘Afternoon, ladies, well, aren’t we a treat for sore eyes!’ he said, shaking his head as we made our way over to him.
I did feel a bit of a numpty, walking past the crowds of tourists, but I was less concerned with myself and more worried about how Cara was holding up. A short but unsteady boat crossing with the hangover from hell could be the next potential nightmare today.
‘Where is the damn ferry?’ Shelley muttered under her breath, tapping her foot in impatience. ‘I’m going to miss my own wedding at this point!’
‘Now, don’t fret,’ Keith offered, bobbing his white-haired head past the crowds of people milling around us. ‘There’s bound to be another one soon.’
Thankfully there was; only much later than we’d meant to be on our way. We awkwardly clambered on board.
‘Will you call Ben and tell him we’re running late?’ Shelley asked me.
I nodded and rummaged through my handbag for my phone. ‘Crap,’ I muttered.
‘What?’
‘I left my phone at the flat. We were in such a rush to leave I didn’t think to check that I had it. Cara, you got yours?’
Cara lifted her head from the seat back and slowly shook it.
Keith mumbled something about not needing a phone, so Patty had taken the one they jointly owned.
‘It’ll be fine, we’re on our way, and I’m sure it’s the bride’s prerogative to be a little late?’ I added brightly.
Keith nodded. ‘If he’s the one, then he’ll wait for you.’
‘It’s not Jimmy I’m worried about. The bloody registrar has another wedding to get to after us!’
‘There’s nothing more we can do; I’m sure as soon as we get off this thing, we can be there in no time.’ This wedding was going to take place if it killed us.
‘Can this morning go any worse?’ Shelley moaned into her hands before worrying she would smudge her make-up.
She didn’t even know the half of it; that was before I’d told her about my pregnancy news and what had happened with her heartbroken, drunk cousin.
‘You’ve not got a thing to worry about. You’re going to have the day of your dreams, I know you will.’
The ferry eventually pulled up to Manly and we all traipsed off, Cara lagging slightly behind and clutching her water bottle like a lifeline.
Keep it together, keep it together, I willed her.
‘Right, I need to find somewhere to get changed ASAP,’ Shelley announced, peering around the cute and slightly kitsch ferry port. Billowing flags waved in the breeze, smells of salty chips and sugary candy floss wafted along in the warm air. The place was packed with tourists enjoying the sunny autumnal day. I think Shelley secretly enjoyed the stares from men who were chided by their wives as they saw her and Cara strut past. Okay, Cara was less strutting and more swaying, but her hair and make-up were on point.
‘Let’s make our way down to the beach front; there are bound to be hotels along the way. We’ll just nip in and ask politely if we can have a room for ten minutes. I’m sure it won’t be a problem,’ I told her calmly, crossing my fingers.
‘Lars mentioned some places down here as potential alternative venues.’
‘See, it’ll be fine.’
Turned out that Lars had been bullshitting about that too. There weren’t any nearby hotels lining the small stretch of beach where we were heading. To have gone back into town to find an alternative would have added even more time, and we were late enough as it was. Poor Jimmy must be beside himself with worry that we weren’t going to show up at all.
‘The registrar is only there for the next twenty minutes,’ Shelley gasped, looking at the battered watch her dad was wearing, poking out of the sleeve of his suit. ‘I’m going to miss my own wedding by the time we find somewhere!’
Keith looked on helplessly, Cara was seemingly trying not to vomit in a nearby bin due to the overwhelming smells of fish and chip batter floating through the suntan-lotion-perfumed air.
‘What about just walking to the venue like this and getting ready there?’ I suggested.
Shelley shook her head in horror. ‘No! I’m not having any of the guests seeing me not properly dressed.’
I peered down the beach. ‘We’re going in that direction, aren’t we?’ Shelley nodded. ‘Look, there’s a toilet block. If we’re careful we can help you get into your dress in there and walk down the path to Shelly bay? You may need to change into your shoes at the last minute, but we can hide you from everyone seeing that.’ I tried to stay as upbeat and positive as I could.
‘I think she may be right, Shel,’ Keith said, peering at his watch. ‘We don’t have time to mess about here, girl.’
‘Oh God, this is just all going to shit,’ Shelley moaned, but she picked up her speed, heading to the public beach bathroom, realising that she had few other choices if she wanted to not miss her own wedding. ‘I’ll kill that bastard Lars if I ever see him again,’ she seethed as she stomped past tourists and huddles of old people enjoying ice creams on the stone benches.
‘Not before I kill him first,’ Keith muttered, trying to keep up with the power-walking speed his daughter was doing.
‘Right, you girls, head in and I’ll wait here,’ Keith said as we got to the deep brown 1970s-style concrete loo. Two kids wandered out wearing swimming costumes, trying to fix on a pair of goggles.
‘Cara, you try and keep anyone out and I’ll help Shelley get into her dress. Just don’t let it touch the floor,’ I ordered, taking charge and peering at the suspicious wet puddles on the grubby tiled surface.
Suddenly, Shelley started to laugh hysterically, her face was pink and almost manically twisted into a smile as she hurriedly stripped down to her underwear. ‘For fuck’s sake, Georgia, I never thought I’d be getting changed for my own wedding in a stinking dunny,’ she managed to say, in between wheezing with laughter. ‘So much for everything being perfect!’
‘It’ll be fine. Just don’t, whatever you do, let the dress fall to the ground.’ I tried to keep her steady as she gently dropped the gown over her outstretched arms. Her skinny body was rattling with each burst of giggles escaping. I couldn’t help but laugh too.
‘They say expect the unexpected, but this …’ She waved an arm after eventually managing to get it into the right sleeve. ‘This is ridiculous.’
With a final tug, she was zipped up and ready to go, carefully holding the hem as high up from the scummy floor as she could. Taking a step back, I looked at her.
‘Wow,’ I breathed. She looked incredible, even in the harsh strip lighting of a public bog.
‘What?’ She panicked. ‘Is there a mark on the dress? Have I got some stranger’s poo stains on me?’
I shook my head. ‘You look bloody amazing!’
Her face relaxed. She came forward and tried awkwardly to hug me whilst still holding her dress up. ‘Thanks, Georgia. Let’s do this!’
After a quick last peek in the cloudy, cracked mirrors, we headed out into the sunshine and began following the path leading from Manly Beach to Shelly Bay. Seeing her striding forward, desperate to get to her man, I found myself growing more nervous about what I was going to say to Ben. The drama and excitement of this morning had meant I’d had little time to contemplate how I was going to tell him that his world was about to change too.
Cara remained silent throughout the flustered hike, past the rocky sandstone cliffs, letting Keith witter on about some facts on the local area and how he’d read that Japanese knotweed was a problem somewhere around here. Shelley seemed to have lost her sense of hearing as she strode forward, not seeing the kind stares she was receiving; all she cared about was saying ‘I do’ before she lost her chance. Rounding another corner, I smiled at the cheers from a group of enthusiastic swimmers who were doing laps in the specially roped-off section. Shelley grinned and waved back, pausing slightly to catch her breath and savour these moments.
‘You want to put your shoes on?’ I asked her. She was wearing knackered-looking ballet pumps and I had the sparkly heels she’d asked me to carry.
Shelley shook her head. ‘I don’t want to delay things even more; I’ll go barefoot instead.’
I nodded and tried to keep up with her; amazingly, even at this speed, she wasn’t breaking a sweat. At least in one way it avoided her going into panic mode at what else was potentially going to come her way. I had a feeling we weren’t out of the woods yet.