“Hey, umm…” Scott made his way up to Charlie’s desk, having waited until the coast was clear. It was five minutes to closing time, but the last few people in the library were just starting to leave.
Nervousness made his stomach tight, but it was now or never. Scott knew he’d lose his nerve if he didn’t take the opportunity to explore his feelings for Charlie soon. He’d sweep them under the rug and pretend they weren’t happening.
That seemed like a big opportunity to miss. He had the chance now to learn something important about himself, and he wanted to take it. He didn’t need to let fear get in the way of that.
Charlie smiled up at him, the same bright, helpful smile he always wore.
“How can I help?”
“Well, uh…” Scott scratched the back of his neck. He should have rehearsed this. “I have a ton of work left to do on this assignment and it’s not due until tomorrow, but I was thinking… if you were interested, I could maybe… buy you dinner? You did a great job of proofreading the last one and I think it really helped my grade.”
Really, this was an excuse to get some time alone with Charlie. But if Scott got to finish an assignment that was hanging over his head a day early, that was an added bonus.
Charlie’s whole face lit up. “I have a hard time saying no to offers of food. I’m about to close up, but you can stay wherever you’re set up and I’ll come sit with you in a few minutes. If that’s okay?”
Scott nodded eagerly, breathing a sigh of relief. Charlie was agreeing. All hope wasn’t lost.
“Awesome.” Scott grinned at him. “I’ll order. Assuming pizza is okay?”
“Pizza is always okay. Please order something without onions.”
“Really?” Scott raised an eyebrow.
“I hate them. I mean, I can eat them if they’ve basically dissolved into something, but I hate eating big pieces of onion.” Charlie shrugged. “Maybe that’s weird.”
“I don’t have any particular feelings either way, so it doesn’t make a difference to me,” Scott said. “Just not one of the food preferences I’m used to hearing.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m allergic. I just… hate them.”
“Hey, I got it. No onions. I’m sitting at the same desk as last time, when you’re done. Unless I can help?”
Charlie shook his head. “I have a whole routine and it only takes me a few minutes to get through. You go back to work. I’ll be there soon.”
Scott beamed, giving Charlie a tiny wave and getting his phone out of his pocket to order. Clearly, he and Charlie were okay.
Maybe, once they were alone, he’d summon the courage to talk to him about how he felt.
Maybe they’d even kiss again. Scott liked the idea of that a lot.
It was weird to suddenly be attracted to a guy, but it was getting less weird the more Scott thought about it. Lots of people were attracted to men. Like half the world’s population. That many people were probably onto something.
The fact that many of them were women didn’t mean they weren’t right. Scott was just… seeing what a huge number of other people saw, for the first time.
That was how he was explaining it to himself, anyway.
Charlie clearly saw something in him. If Charlie could see something in him…
He could see something in Charlie. Something he wanted more of.
Scott sat down to order pizza and hack away at his assignment some more, waiting eagerly for Charlie to close up and come sit with him. Nervous excitement twisted in his gut, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as he thought about Charlie approaching him, running his fingertips across the back of Scott’s shoulders, settling down next to him and resting his head against Scott’s arm.
He probably wouldn’t do any of that, but it was a nice mental image.
That was the part that was making this easiest to accept. Scott really liked the idea of doing romantic, sensual things with Charlie. He couldn’t stop himself from liking it.
Since it wasn’t hurting anyone, he didn’t see a whole lot of point in trying to stop. He was done with resisting. Resisting was hard and unsatisfying.
Kissing Charlie would have been satisfying. Holding him close, gently taking his glasses off his face so they wouldn’t press into either of them, starting off soft and gentle and then exploring Charlie’s mouth, pinning him against the wall, reaching down between his legs...
“And I’m done,” Charlie said, flopping down on the other side of the desk and breaking Scott’s train of thought. That was fine. Charlie in the flesh was way better than the fantasy of him.
Even if the fantasy had been hot.
That was maybe not the best opener, so Scott shoved the thought aside.
“You look done,” Scott said, taking in the way Charlie had pretty much deflated, sinking heavily into the chair.
Charlie shrugged. “Some days are longer than others. I love this job, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I get exhausted. Sleep usually fixes it.”
“I’m sorry I’m keeping you, then,” Scott said. “You shoulda said you were tired. This isn’t urgent.”
“I know. I wanted to hang out with you.” Charlie smiled a tiny, shy smile, the tips of his ears going pink. “Friends help, too.”
Scott shifted his weight on the flimsy library chair, making it creak a little worryingly.
At least he knew now that Charlie really did want to hang out with him.
“Pizza’s coming,” Scott said, pretending to focus on his laptop. He typed two words without paying any real attention to what they were, and then looked back up at Charlie. “Should be here in half an hour or so.”
“I love Thursdays.” Charlie smiled wryly. “I can almost taste Friday, which means it’s nearly Saturday.”
“That’s… one way of looking at it,” Scott said. He wasn’t sure he had Charlie figured out, yet.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever have Charlie figured out, but right now, that seemed fine. Right now, all he wanted was to figure out enough to approach him in a way that wouldn’t freak either of them out.
“Like I said. I love my job, but I love getting to take a break, too. Balance is important.”
“Of course.” Scott licked his lips. “Could you look at this for me? I’m not sure how much sense it makes.”
Scott was fairly sure it made perfect sense, but he couldn’t get closer to Charlie if he was all the way on the other side of the desk.
To his relief, Charlie didn’t question the need to get up move his chair, sitting down so close to Scott that their shoulders touched.
Scott’s stomach flipped over. This was it. Charlie was as close as he was ever going to be.
Scott watched him reading the last couple of paragraphs, concentrating so hard that the tip of his tongue poked out between his teeth.
All Scott could think about was how much he wanted to kiss him.
Charlie hummed, pushing away from the desk and standing. “This mostly makes sense to me, but I wanna look up some of the terms. Just for myself. If that’s okay?”
“Sure,” Scott said, his knee bouncing with nerves. He was letting Charlie get away. This was his shot, and he was missing it.
It took him three seconds to decide to stand as well.
The space between the shelves and the desk was narrow, barely enough room for the two of them to stand in it at the same time. Charlie’s chest brushed against Scott’s own, his eyes going wide as he looked up at him.
With a surge of confidence, Scott leaned in. He moved one hand to Charlie’s jaw, holding him in place, and then sealed their lips together, a soft, happy sigh escaping him as he made contact.
This felt good. Something settled in his chest, something that had been restless and uncomfortable since the weekend. Need, or lust, or maybe just simple curiosity.
Whatever it was, kissing Charlie had silenced it. It felt right to kiss him.
Who cared about anything else when it was so good?
It didn’t matter if he was gay or straight or bi or whatever. It mattered that he liked Charlie, and that Charlie liked him, and that they’d have a lot more fun if they both just gave into that and stopped worrying about what it all meant.
Charlie’s mouth was impossibly warm again, and it tasted of peppermint instead of beer this time. His body was warm against Scott’s, more solid than he was used to, but that didn’t seem like a bad thing.
Charlie’s lips were still soft, and the brush of his tongue against Scott’s made arousal surge in his stomach, and the tiny, happy sounds he was making made Scott smile.
What more did he want? Who cared if Charlie was a man? He was fun to be with. Kissing him felt amazing.
That was really all that mattered.
Scott pulled back after a moment, gasping for breath.
His heart was pounding, his lips felt swollen and tingly, and he wanted to do that again. And again. As many times as Charlie would let him.
“Are you gonna run away again?” Charlie asked. He should have sounded concerned, maybe even sick of Scott’s bullshit, but he didn’t. He sounded hopeful, like he knew Scott wasn’t going to run.
Scott’s heart skipped. Charlie still wanted this, even after all the crap Scott had put him through.
“No. Not this time,” he promised. Charlie had no reason to believe him, but he hoped he would, somehow. Rejection would have hurt, even if it was understandable.
Even if it was maybe the smart thing for Charlie to do.
“Good,” Charlie said. He shoved Scott backwards, hard, until he was pressed up against the shelves on the other side of the row.
Before Scott could respond, Charlie was leaning in again, pressing his weight against him, pinning him in place. His eyes were bright, more alive than Scott had ever seen him, and he was…
He was beautiful. There was no other word for it.
Charlie smirked, a slow, sly expression that made Scott’s pulse pound in his ears, the rush of blood deafening.
He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. Charlie hit every button he had and then some, though he still had no idea how.
Slowly, Charlie took off his glasses, tossing them onto the desk. Scott gasped, knowing that meant something.
He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it felt significant.
“You sure? Last chance to back out.”
“I’m sure,” Scott said, a tight band of nerves closing around his stomach. This was terrifying, but he wanted it. He wanted it more than anything.
He wanted Charlie. And that was just going to have to be okay.
Charlie hummed, pressing a second, softer kiss to Scott’s lips, just for a moment. Just long enough to make contact, to make the pull of nerves ease off, to let Scott know this was okay.
Then, he dropped to his knees.