MADISON

From the passenger seat of Denise’s Nissan I watch the other lanes on I-85 heading toward Virginia, and catch random glimpses of strangers drifting by. Those faces are going places I’ll never know about.

Their lives, what are they like?

Do they have people they care about so much that it hurts to think of them gone, like Nana is?

Jobs, pets, kids, parents, troubles, joys, and everyone they touch is touched by someone else.

That smiling woman bouncing to her music, did she just decide to go after her dreams?

The man in the suit with his tie undone, smoking out the window, did he forget about his?

“It’s like this incredible spider web is woven every second of every day, and we aren’t even aware of it.”

Denise glances over with a blank, “What?”

“All of the people on the planet.” Holding her eyes before they flicker back to the freeway, I explain, “Right now there are people in England, Canada, Australia, South Africa, South America, Spain…”

“I get it…”

“France, Macedonia, Italy, Greece, Canada…”

“You already said Canada.”

“Turkey, Iceland, Russia, Denmark, Romania…”

“Maddie.”

“Just think, right now, people in all those countries—and that’s not even all the countries out there!—they’re walking around in their own lives, like we walk around in ours. Getting up every morning, doing their thing, going to sleep. So many hearts beating for different reasons, different dreams and goals. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Have you been smoking pot?”

Laughing I reach back to pet Bucky. “His eyes are clear today. I think he’s getting used to me.”

“Dogs bounce back pretty well. You should call them again.”

“I called four times. It’s in their court now.”

Flicking a glance to the backseat, she grumbles, “And they call you the animal, Bucky.” Wagging her purple fingernail she announces, “All those people in the world you’re talking about? Not all of them are good.”

“That would be boring.”

“You should have left them a nasty voicemail.”

“There’s enough negativity floating around.” Staring out my window I add, a little quieter, “Maybe he was supposed to be with me.”

“If they do call, do not give him back!”

“Denise, can you imagine if life was just euphoria all the time? People walking around in bliss twenty-four-seven?”

We’re silent as we picture it. I glance over to her, and she meets my eyes to say, “Nothing would get done.”

On a smile I agree, “Kleenex would go out of business. No need for crying.”

Her expression saddens as she fixes her gaze back on the road ahead. “When a loved one died, you wouldn’t feel the loss, and that’s not right. I wouldn’t want that.”

I run my hand down her soft arm. “How are you feeling?”

“Peachy,” she mutters on a deep exhale. “This funeral is going to be one hot mess.”

“I know.”

“Momma’s already driving me crazy. She lives on the drama.”

I mutter with a roll of my eyes, “Yeah. She doesn’t know how to behave sometimes.”

Denise’s lip curls. “She’s going to act like this party is for her. Those people will be there to celebrate my Nana, but will she see it like that?” Flicking me a glance she demands, “Remember the birthday party for my thirteenth? That woman wore the shortest dress she could find, and you know that was because it was my first co-ed!”

“I’ve tried to block the memory.”

“There I was, beginning to feel like a woman, inviting boys for the first time. And I had that crush on Manny…I forgot his last name, what was it?”

“I don’t remember.”

“That boy’s hormones couldn’t take their eyes off my momma’s legs! He was hoping he’d get a peek of her you-know-what!”

“Of course he was.” I glance back to my dog and he pants at me with a huge smile. “Boys, Bucky, right?”

“I swear if she’s wearing something sparkly I’m calling her out!”

“Your phone lit up.”

“Read it for me.”

I groan, “Your sister wants to know why you’re taking so long to get there.”

“Of course she does. Tell Tee Tee the funeral isn’t until tomorrow but if she’d like me to Astral Project myself there right now I’m on my way. What does she expect me to do, fly? Two tickets costs money. Shared gas costs nothing!” Under her breath Denise grumbles, “She got to Mom’s early so she could hold it over my head.”

“You guys have dealt with your mom’s eccentricities in different ways.”

Not interested in psychobabble, she says, “Check my emails after you text her back.”

Knowing if I reply to Tee Tee the drama will escalate, I skip it and click around Denise’s inbox instead. “Just some newsletters from department stores.”

“Any sales?”

“Um, no, nothing big. Lord, you shop a lot.”

“You know I do.”

My fingers stop as I spot a name I recognize, and my heart does a little jump of its own volition. “You got an email from Billy.”

She bounces in her seat. “Are you serious? Open it!”

“It says he’s having another party. It’s tonight, wow, so soon? That’s bold. There’s a photo of the charred house, look.” Holding it out, I watch her curious expression as Denise quickly scans the ghastly image.

Shaking her head she returns to the road. “Nasty business.”

“You know how he signed it?”

“How?”

“Always keep that fire.”

She breaks into a grin, wagging her purple nail. “Now that’s how you do it! Jump back on that horse, Billy! Lose your shit, then get right back on that thing and ride!”

Smiling I ask, and there’s a definite challenge in my tone, “You bringing that attitude to the funeral, Denise?”

With a gleam she nods. “Mmhmm.” All ten fingers loosen then tighten on the shiny steering wheel as she stares into her decision. “That’s what I’m gonna do.”

As I choose an upbeat playlist for the rest of the ride, I smile to myself, thinking, That’s the thing about courage, it inspires more.