NICHOLAS

This is a first. All three of my siblings have come to Billy’s Resurrection Party with me and Matthew.

When I awoke late the next morning after that crazy, long night, there were voice messages from all of them—Zoe, Wyatt, and Nathan. Mom told them about the fire. Their reactions were predictable, to a point.

Zoe has a heart the size of all the southern states combined. She feels things pretty deeply, and hearing worry come through in her voice didn’t surprise me. When I told her I was fine, that Billy was going to bounce back too, was having another party right away to prove it, she asked if she could come. I think to watch over me, which is laughably adorable.

Our brother Wyatt is a cop now, loves anything emergency-related. Adrenaline is his drug. He’s here hoping for another fire.

It was Nathan, the youngest of us, whose reaction surprised me. First, he booked a flight from Yale with money he’d saved, to be here with us tonight—made me promise not to tell Mom and Dad.

“I’m acing the work, I can miss a few classes.”

He’s asked the most questions, wanted details the other two weren’t concerned about. He was almost obsessive, and he’s usually laid back about pretty much everything. Even getting into Yale didn’t spark this kind of enthusiasm in him, which increased my suspicions that becoming a lawyer isn’t in his heart. Or maybe it’s just a given, so he doesn’t show emotion about the subjects he’s studying. Not sure yet.

My younger brothers are closer to each other than with me. They were born less than a year apart, and they loved to drive me crazy when we were kids—Zoe, always the referee.

The five of us are walking into an abandoned warehouse loft, the size of an airplane hangar, exposed beams overhead. The place has people coming out of its pores.

Matthew and I exchange a look.

Nate’s at my side, eyes darting around controlled chaos.

“All these people were there during the fire?”

“No way. Word must have spread.”

He jogs his strong chin to the DJ. “Same guy spinning?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve gotta ask if his equipment is the same stuff he had that night.” Nathan vanishes.

Wyatt shrugs to me and we keep moving deeper into a throng of excited bodies.

My best friend throws me a knowing smile, “The drama of impending doom, it’s one hell of a lure.”

Wyatt nods, but Zoe predictably frowns, “I would have felt terrible if it had been our house that burned down, wouldn’t you have, Nicholas?” Mom says she was carved out of optimism and pink blossoms. None of us like to see her smile turned down.

I throw my arm around her. “Yeah, but what are you gonna do, wallow? Bad stuff happens to everyone. It’s how you deal with it that’s up to you. Billy’s a hero to these people. Don’t worry about him. He’s gonna be fine.”

“I know, but it’s so sad.” She burrows into me as we walk.

Wyatt teases her, “Stop being so damned emotional. Nobody died!”

“True,” she smiles.

“They experienced something raw, hardcore! Look at them! They bonded over this thing you’re calling a tragedy, Zo. I’m gonna get a drink.” He stretches his spine to look over the tops of bobbing heads. “Where’s the booze?”

Matthew points ahead. “Probably against one of the back walls. I see two clusters.”

As the four of us make our way through the dance section, weaving through undulating people, mascara’d eyelashes hover on our group. Some of them men. None quite sure what to make of my ethereal sister, the only girl among us.

I can read their faces as easily as if they were a bold font on a billboard over Piedmont.

Is she my girlfriend?

Matt’s?

Wyatt’s?

How did she get so lucky?

Are we single?

My mind drifts back to Madison.

“Hey, Matt, keep an eye out for Denise and Maddie. I wanna know how the dog is. If they got him back to his owner.”

“I hope they didn’t,” Matthew mutters, eyes on the party.

Zoe offers “It could have been a stray. Maybe it got out of its yard and wandered into the open door when it smelled food.”

Us guys exchange a look because we have to concede she could be right.

I shake my head. “I wish I saw the world through your eyes, Zo.”

“It’s better than thinking the worst.”

“I’m a realist.”

“So am I,” she smiles like I’m the one who doesn’t get it. “I believe people are good. That’s my reality.”

Matthew jogs his chin up ahead. “There’s Billy, just spotted him.”

We head toward the tangy aroma of BBQ sauce-drenched meatballs. Our friend is busy cooking and talking, but he pauses upon sight of us, and a grin spreads.

I call through cupped hands, “Got your crock pot, I see!”

He hoists it up, steam lazily drifting over its top. “This bitch is a survivor!”

“Most bitches are!”

Billy gives an ain’t-that-the-truth nod and flips around, spinning back to face us with four bags of frozen meatballs raised high in both hands “Look at what people have been bringing me! I told you these were important! They’re a staple in my party experience! These aren’t even half of them! I only brought one—can you believe it? But never fear. Billy’s balls are here to stay!”

People move over for us at the foldout table since it’s obvious we’re close friends with the host.

Matthew asks with genuine surprise, “You only brought one for all these people?”

Spirits quieting a little, Billy admits, “Yeah well, I didn’t know if I’d be up for cooking. Plus, had no idea this would be the turnout—I barely showed up, myself.” Brightening, he tosses a bag of frozen meatballs to Matt who catches them, no problem. “But then everyone kept gifting these and I realized, fuck man, the dream must live on!”

I glance to my sister and sure enough, she’s beaming at Billy. There’s so much pride on her face, he could be her son, her brother, her best friend since childhood, or something as important, yet until tonight they’ve never met. All she wants is for everyone to be happy.

“Hey Billy. This is Zoe, my sister. And Wyatt here is my brother. I’ve got another one, too, Nathan, but he disappeared.”

He shakes their hands and Wyatt asks him, “Booze?”

“That way! See that crowd? Here, take a meatball.”

Billy drops them directly in our hands and they’re right out of the pot. All four of us react one after the other, our hands literally a hot mess.

“Jeezus, no plates?” I laugh.

“Ran out,” he shrugs. “Bathroom’s over there if you wanna wash up. But I recommend you lick them. Here’re some napkins if you’re lame. Don’t take too many though. I didn’t anticipate the demand.”

“Got it.” Our group heads away, chomping on a meatball each, not lame.

Wyatt groans, “These are fucking great.”

“Mmhmm,” murmurs Zoe.

“We’ve gotta wash this off,” Matt chuckles, licking his fingers. “Fucking delicious. Wait.” He runs back and returns with another one. “Didn’t realize how hungry I was until it touched my tongue. Mmm.”

Nathan shoves his way through the crowd, like it’s giving birth to him. He lands in front of us. “There you are! Feel like I’m at a rave or something. Everyone’s so damned happy to be here but nobody’s high.”

As we keep walking, Wyatt razzes him, “They still call them raves?”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You want me to make you shut up?”

“You, Nathan? Yeah, I’m worried. Don’t make me do this.” Wyatt quickly wipes gooey fingers down Nate’s face. “Oops, too late!”

Nathan recoils, “What the fuck? Wait, what the hell is this stuff? Smells amazing!”

“My girlfriend’s period.”

“As if you had a girlfriend, Wyatt.”

“That’s by choice.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“All true. I speak only the truth.”

“Your baton hasn’t been wetted in weeks.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “Guys! Please.”

My younger brothers simultaneously spot a female party-goer who’s taken it upon herself to play bartender. Definitely a busty, beautiful, with two bottles of liquor in her hands, volunteer.

Heaven on two legs to these guys.

They instantly pose—eyebrows raised, foreheads scrunched, mouths pouty, eyes detached.

Zoe glances to me. “Get me out of here, Nicholas, before I throw up.”

I jog my chin toward the bathrooms. “Let’s wash our hands…of them. Hey guys, get us vodka sodas.”

“Yep,” Nathan mutters.

“Whatever,” Wyatt shrugs.

As we leave them to it, I chuckle, “Fucking obvious.”

Matt smacks my shoulder. “You should teach them lessons.”

Zoe reminds him, “You know they never listen to Nicholas. It’s always been that way.”

“I’m like the dad they never wanted, but have taken it upon themselves to anoint me.”

Matt grins, “You’re not even twenty-six and you’re a father of two. Wish I had a cigar to give you.”

Zoe melts as she stands in the long women’s line. “Aww Matthew, you didn’t count me as one of the kids!”

“Because you’re not a child, Zo.”

“Thank you!”

As we walk right into the men’s restroom he chuckles, “She’s a faery just visiting our planet.”

I nod, “That she is.”

Inside we wash sauce off of our hands, stroll up to vacated urinals, unzip, talking the whole time.

“It’s weird thinking of Wyatt as a cop now.”

“I think it’s awesome. It’ll help him grow up.”

“That’s the thing, I always see Wyatt and Nathan as kids, but they’re legal drinking age now.” Matt shakes the last drops out. “Weird, man, weird.”

Nodding I shake it, zip up, and agree, “My dad’s not that close to Uncle Justin so I think it made him proud that one, Wyatt had such a noble ambition, and two, Uncle Justin stuck his neck out to get Wyatt training in the academy before he turned eighteen.”

We squeeze past guys who are coming in.

One eyes us with a hungry look. “Hello boys.”

I smirk at him and Matt says, “How’re you doing?”

“Better now.”

We laugh and keep walking.

Zoe, still in line, says, “I guess this place was built before they started putting in more stalls for women.”

“We’ll be by the meatballs,” I tell her.

“Okay, I’ll find you.”