MADISON

I shrug, “Just need a drink. Tired of this line, if you can call it that. Do something, would ya?”

Waving those purple fingernails Denise starts shouting, “Come on, move! Lady with a baby! And that baby needs a drink!”

People laugh like she’s kidding.

Pointing to her belly she cocks a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “You think this is fat? I’m five months in!”

Horrified, they give her room as I maintain total poker-face.

“This is more like it!” Denise grumbles as she picks up the pretty blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. “They think that’s sad? The real tragedy is that if I were preggers it’d have to be immaculate conception. I haven’t had a man in me in a year.”

I hand over two red cups, glancing back to Nicholas. “Ditto.”

She grabs the ice bucket. “By choice!”

“Mine is by their choice.”

“I hate plastic cups. I’m not in college anymore! Oh well, hold these. They won’t stay up.”

“No, I can’t drink gin. It makes me do stupid things.”

Denise laughs, “Honey, your favorite word is no!”

“No.”

“Do I have to spill this on your head?”

“No.”

“Very funny.” She plants the cups in my hands and starts shoveling ice. “This is one of the things I love about Billy. He knows the first thing you run out of at a party is ice, but never at his! The man has a plan. Cuts the corners of what doesn’t matter and ensures we have what does. Except I wouldn’t mind wrapping my manicure around some actual glassware.”

“Probably afraid people will break it and get cut, bleed everywhere.”

She pauses. “Ew.” Then goes back to pouring gin.

“Denise!”

“This one’s mine,” she reassures me, and pours into the other cup—mine.

“Denise!”

“Whoopsie!”

“You said—”

“—I said that one’s mine. And it is. It’s just as full as yours is. Do I lie? No, I do not lie! Tonic or soda?”

“Tonic is bad for you.”

“Soda then.” She splashes Pellegrino water into the tiny space left in our cups. Some chick with a stick up her ass penguins closer, staring at Denise.

“What do you want?” I ask Stick-up-butt.

Denise smiles, “Are you wondering when I’m due?” Squeezing a lemon in her gin, she announces, “Four months. Cheers!”

“To little junior coming out okay despite this!” I tap my cup to hers and we drink.

Shocked and appalled, Stick-up-butt penguins away to gossip about us.

Denise smirks, “That girl needs to get laid even more than you do.”

I nod, wincing at the strong taste, “Oh God, give me a lemon. That was harsh.”

“I appreciate you taking one for the team, sucking that down sans fruit. I thought about grabbing one for you but there was no time.”

I dryly mutter, “It was worth it,” squeezing a fresh, juicy wedge and dropping it in.

With pursed, full lips, Denise cocks her pretty head. “Can I just?” Impatient fingernails rummage through my hair until she’s gifted it a deep side-part. “That’s better, sexier.” Taking a big sip, she glances around. “Now who can we hook you up with tonight?” She spots the host walking by and shouts, “Billy, baby, come back to me!”

Shocked, I whisper in her ear under the loud music, “You’re not hooking me up with Billy!”

“Hell no. He’s mine, if I ever decide to go there.”

With a grin he negotiates his way over to us. “Denise!” Taking her glass, Billy sips it. “Strong, that’s my girl! Did you try my meatballs yet?”

“I might…if you bought me a sparkly for right here.” She points to above her knuckle, left hand, on the finger conspicuously next to the pinky. “Until that day comes, stop talking about your damn meat!”

His cute face lights up on a huge laugh. As an afterthought he glances to me like he forgot I was here. “You having fun, Addison?”

“Madison.”

“Oh, right, sorry!”

“I’m having a great time, thank you.”

He returns to Denise, his friendly smile flashing the instant they lock eyes. “Well, I’ve gotta float around or people will think I don’t love them anymore. Looking good, Denise.”

She wriggles her ring-finger. “Now don’t forget!”

Billy laughs, goes to leave, but pauses to ask, “What’s this rumor about you being pregnant? That true?”

She doesn’t even bat an eyelash extension. “No, honey. Don’t worry. I’m all yours. That rumor must be coming from our future.”

On a grin he vanishes into the party.

She and I walk into the kitchen where she bogarts an entire bowl of potato chips. “These greasy fuckers need to be in my mouth!” She offers the bowl to me and I take a handful. “Looks like someone is consummating a six-minute courtship. Madison, look.”

I glance over my shoulder to watch Nicholas Cocker guiding that brunette to the guest bathroom. Under my breath I sigh, “She’s practically dancing her way there.”

“Wouldn’t you be?”

Staring at his ass I snort, “No way, are you kidding?” Shoving a chip in my mouth I lock eyes with Denise. “I wouldn’t!” Her eyebrows twitch, but I maintain, “Seriously, I wouldn’t want a guy like him.”

“Tall, dark, handsome, and kisses like he’d make you forget your own name?”

I shake my head a little, eyes flitting to where they disappeared. “He is way too in demand. Other women would be forever chasing him. I wouldn’t hold his attention.” Shrugging a shoulder I crunch my inadequacies away.

My chin is grabbed. Denise gets in my face, voice gentler than these insistent fingers. “You are you. The second you start owning who you are, is the second you’ll begin a happy life.” She snatches a chip from my hand. “Stop hiding under all that drab clothing and own your shit, woman!”

“Says the most confident person I’ve ever known,” I mutter, piling more chips in my hand from the bowl. “Is there onion dip?”

“Spinach only.” She holds up mangled green goo that looks oddly delicious. “Pray nobody with the plague double dipped. And don’t give me that crap, Madison Greeley-Smith, because I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

My chip breaks under the weight of my scoop. “I’m saying that you were born with the ability to walk into any room and feel comfortable. I’m not like that. I’m worried about what everyone is thinking, and I feel like I’m on the outside. I’m an introvert.”

Sipping gin and soda, Denise thinks about it a moment. She locks onto me like she figured out the answer, eyes lighting up so that she shines brighter than those light bulbs. “If you didn’t care what anybody thought—like if none of that mattered or you were out on some deserted island or something—then you would be free to be just you, right? Imagine if nobody else was here—ever—how would you feel?”

“Great. That sounds like heaven, actually.”

“That’s how you do it! You forget about them and be you as if no one else was here! Because the truth is, nobody’s opinion really matters more than yours, Maddie. Take for example the coolest people you’ve ever known.”

“Like you.”

She ignores me. “They are cool because they don’t care what anyone else thinks. They’re rocking to their own beat. That’s why we watch them! That’s what makes someone interesting, right? When they walk around just owning it, not giving a shit.” She turns in a circle, strutting. “That’s what I do! Madison, that’s the secret. You gotta be you, and what I love about you is your strong opinions. Your undying loyalty. You’re so damn generous with your time, your heart, your help. I know I can always count on you. And you make me laugh more than anyone I know! Your humor is so dry, so you. Think about it this way: someday you will be lying in a coffin and I guarantee you, those people you were so worried about, will not be there. Who the fuck cares about them? Care about you, and the people you love.” Snatching the last chip from my hands she wags it. “Shine, baby shine! Forget about impressing anyone but yourself.”

I stare at her as she pops my last potato chip into her mouth.

I am unable to argue.

I need time to think.

I don’t want to wake up in a coffin one day and wish I’d lived a brave life.

“I’ve gotta pee.”

She waves me off, “Do your business.”

I head for the guest bathroom, freeze, look at her, and change course.

She busts up laughing, her voice flying over strangers’ heads. “See! You’re funny!”