SOFIA SOL

From the kitchen where I was putting away the dishes, my chore night, I overheard Dad and Honey Badger’s deep voices on the back porch lowered to a hush like they didn’t want anyone listening. That made me need to.

Acting casual I strolled to the front door, nodded to whoever I came across and kept on my path. As soon as I cleared the front of the house I stalked the side, silent as if I were on a mission. The paint-chipped corner neared and the low hum of their conversation grew louder, as did my heartbeat.

I crouched at the edge, craned my ear.

“I don’t care that he’s twenty now. He can demand to become a full member all he damn wants. Don’t think he’s ready, Jett,” Honey Badger said. “The boy feels too much.”

Dad agreed, “For some of the stuff we see…” not needing to say more.

“I don’t want him crumbling when people are relying on him.”

“Think he would?”

“If he sees some kids out there, like what we seen in Arkansas?”

“That was bad.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Honey Badger grumbled.

“But Atlas is eighteen now and you want to make him a Cipher.” Dad paused as that landed. “Don’t you think that could do more damage than good?”

“Fuck, I’ll make ‘em both wait then.”

I was twenty-two, almost twenty-three, had been a Cipher since eighteen. Luke expected to become one when he turned the same age, and now two years later he’d have to wait longer because they were still holding his youth against him? He’s got a good heart, nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. You need empathy on the road dealing with the victims after we take down whatever oppression they were under. They need kindness, strength of heart not just muscle.

And for the last two years since he got held back from joining, Luke worked like hell to impress his father and mine, and they still couldn’t see him for what he’d become.

People get stuck in their opinions.

Fuck that.

An impulse I couldn’t control took me over. Not that I’ve ever tried to, but this was our club President’s private conversation. You just didn’t do what I was about to, even if he was my dad.

I jumped out from my hiding place, made them turn their heads inside the screened-in porch as I whisper-yelled, “This is bullshit!”

Dad’s eyes went red with anger, and Honey Badger stood up he was so surprised, fists clenched by instinct. I marched around the mesh to get inside, and their heads swiveled with me.

But they didn’t want the conversation to be known, so they waited until we could all growl at each other at a lower volume. The old wood floor groaned under my angry strides until I planted myself in front of two, enormous men I’d fought with and beside.

Dad was on his feet now. “Daughter!”

“No, this is bullshit, Dad!” I quietly fumed. “Luke’s ready! Maybe he wasn’t before, but you guys haven’t been paying attention. He’s toughened up! And he’s just as good a fighter as I am, always has been. His weapons skills are phenomenal, far straighter shot than even Celia! And sure, Atlas is a force, but so is Luke!”

Maybe it was from the courage it took me to interrupt, that made them listen. Or maybe Honey Badger wanted his oldest child to follow in his footsteps, and hearing this was exactly what he needed to help him get over his own doubts. Luke was named after a boy who helped Honey Badger when he was in Foster homes, so maybe he was holding him too high on a damn pedestal.

I didn’t know the reason that Dad didn’t tell me to shut up, but he didn’t, so I kept going.

“Dad.” My voice was softer this time as I pointed to my head. “And Luke has this. He’s level, smart. I can’t always be going out with your old crew, we need to form one of our own. Me, Luke, and Atlas. Think about it, we could be the next you, you and Mom!”

That got a small smile from them, at my audacity I’m sure. They were so much more experienced than I was. But I was looking to the future.

Their eyes flitted to something behind me and I looked over and saw the Martinez brothers strolling up from the garage, helmets under their arms as they talked.

Honey Badger called them over, “Boys!” Under his breath, he said, “Jett, am I right we’re in agreement on trying this?”

“You saw my face, didn’t you?”

“Just checkin’ fucker,” he grumbled, waving his sons to join us. “Hurry up!”

Luke, taller than Atlas by a good four inches, glanced to me and held my look, silently asking what this was about. I kept my poker face, hands clasped behind my back. Inside, I was ecstatic.

“What is it, Dad?” Luke asked, since he usually did the talking for them. I watched his face as Honey Badger told him the news. And to my surprise, he didn’t jump up and down with joy. Atlas did.

Luke kept a level head, shook his father’s hand, then Jett’s hand, with respect and the pride at being appreciated glinting from behind his dark eyes. “I won’t let you down,” he told them.

He glanced to me with a look that he knew it was my doing, gratitude behind it as he dipped his chin, said, “Soph,” and headed into the house.

Atlas was asking all sorts of questions about what they could expect now. Honey Badger clapped a hand on his shoulder, “Alright, alright, later. Go get some food.”

He whooped, spun around and ran inside.

“Did you see that, Dad?” I asked, watching my father from the corner of my eyes.

“I did,” he thoughtfully murmured.

Honey Badger, the brawn of the crew, not the brains so much, asked, “What’d you see?”

With a smile I answered for him, “He saw a leader,” and whistled my way to Melodi’s delicious cooking.