MADISON

“Oh my God, what an asshole!” I gasp, gin beginning to take hold in a big way. “First the brunette, now that redhead. How many girls does one man need?”

Denise glances up from a text message she received. “Who’re you talking about?”

I jog my chin in the direction of the four. She follows my disgusted look and watches with me.

“While you were looking at your phone, he made her kneel down and serve him! Can you believe that?”

Denise shrugs, “He’s just having fun with her.”

My eyes widen in horror. “And that’s okay? Because he’s gorgeous he can treat women like that? And she did it! How desperate do you have to be?!”

Her eyes sparkle with laughter. “Pretty desperate?”

“It’s not okay, Denise,” I sputter, struggling under my shock, “Where is her pride?” Glancing back I see the redhead leaving in a huff. “And look, he turned her away! After all that!”

Nicholas shouts, “I love you, Alexis Cocker!”

Baffled. I glance to Denise, and realize she knew all along.

“They’re related?”

She smiles, “Mmhmm.”

“You knew.”

“Mmhmm.”

“And you let me get worked up.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Not funny.”

“Yes it is.” Denise lightly scratches an itch by her eye. “This is how gossip spreads.” She tips the red plastic cup back, third drink gone.

I stare at her. “How was I supposed to know they’re related? He’s with a different girl every time I come to these things. Anyone would have assumed what I did.”

Rolling ice around the empty cup, she informs me, “You’re slurring.”

“You think you aren’t?”

Denise rolls her eyes. “You’re very stubborn, Maddie.”

“I am pliable.”

“Remember when we were in the first grade and you insisted that Delaware was close to South Dakota.”

Making a face, I drink my last sip. “I was six. I could barely read. What the hell were we doing learning the states? How about ABCs?”

She stomps one of her high heels down. “Concede defeat!”

We return to watching Nicholas and his friend Matthew. “All I’m saying is…”

Denise mutters, “Here we go.”

“…those two are right now, as we speak, trying to find out who they’re going to nail.” I throw my shoulders up by my ears. “What? They are! Look at them, drinking from those…hey, where’d they get real glasses from?”

My friend perks up, irritated now. “You’re right! How’d they get those? Billy’s been holding out on me?!”

“Or they brought them to make themselves look even sexier. That man’s head is so big I’m surprised he doesn’t fall over.”

Marla Smalls was passing by exactly as I said all that. I didn’t notice her until she suddenly plants her almost-naked body smack dab in front of me. “Oh, his head is big,” Marla announces with a naughty gleam. “Shaft, too. Huge.” Her gaze drops to disapprove of my conservative outfit. “But don’t worry, Madison, you’ll never get to see it.”

My jaw drops.

She saunters away.

But I’ve had gin.

I lunge, grab her arm and spin her small ass around. “Just because I’m not displaying my cleavage and the crotch of my panties to all of Atlanta does not mean I don’t have the goods!”

“Oh, you’ve got the goods!” Wriggling her arm free, Marla snaps, “Costco bulk size!”

I gasp and Denise steps forward, hissing, “Why you little bitch!”

“No, Denise, I’ve got this!”

“Fine. But make it good!”

“Oh, I will.” Up in Marla’s face I get. “Why you little bitch!”

“That’s the best you got? Repeating what your cooler friend says? How do you two even know each other? Denise, do you have a soft spot for charity-cases or what?”

I slap her face so hard, people gasp around us, it was that loud. Marla starts slapping me, and I fight back in pretty much the same way. If it weren’t for the gin I’d be embarrassed, escaping this party so quickly you’d see dust clouds. But she hit home.

Now I’m going to hit her, dammit!

People start egging us on with the tried-and-true chant: “Girl fight! Girl fight! Girl fight!”

Through them Denise shouts, “Get her, Maddie! Get her good!”

Neither Marla nor I will back down, even though we don’t know how to fight. Grunting. Slapping. Pushing. I try punching her, like with an actual fist, but before I get the chance I’m off the ground, arms flailing.

I’m still trying to get at her.

“No! Let me at her!”

In that same instant Matthew has appeared and snatched Marla off the ground, too. She kicks at him, shouting, “Put me down! I’m not done with her!”

“I’m right here, Marla, you bitch! Come and get me!”

A deep voice laughs in my ear as my legs fly around. “Okay, Slugger, settle down.” Strong arms grip me tighter and I’m carried away. “Hey, Billy! You got a cool down room?”

Our grinning host points inside. “Second door on the left down the hall! There’s a sign that says ‘Off Limits.’ Go there!”

“I don’t need to cool down!” I shout, seeing red and panting as I try to break free. “She started it! She called me…” My words die on my tongue as I crane my head. My mouth shuts. Nicholas Cocker’s gorgeous face is inches from mine, warm brown eyes crinkled with laughter. This irritates me even more. “Something funny, Cocker?”

People make way for us as he carries me through the kitchen and down the hall. I throw my feet up on the hand-scrawled sign to block us from going inside. “This is why I wore pants! Marla couldn’t do this without showing her lower cleavage!”

Nicholas chuckles, whips me around, opens the door. “You’re pretty funny, Slugger.”

“DENISE!”

“You’re in good hands. Calm the fuck down.”

“I don’t wanna!”

He cracks up, and kicks the door shut with his foot. Setting me down with a thud, he flicks the light-switch and plants himself at the exit, blocking it, muscular arms crossed. Has he always been this tall?

“Breathe, Slugger, breathe.”

“You’re not my keeper!”

I pace.

And I pace.

And I pace.

It becomes clear after a while that somebody has to say something.

Huffing I mirror his stance and glare at him.

The man’s smile fills the room.