Dr. White was being such a fucking dick.

He was doing this on purpose. He had to be. But why? What had Shepard ever done to the man? Besides give him an incredible fucking orgasm, of course. Both of their bodies had reached heights that neither of them had thought possible. Shepard had felt a surprising and profound connection with Nick that day in the on-call room. He would never be able to explain it, but he damn well knew he had felt it.

That was a year ago, and a lot can change in a year’s time.

The exam room was deathly silent as everyone had their eyes turned to Shepard. Even the patient, with her big sad brown eyes and her light blue hospital gown, was looking anxiously at Shepard.

“I, uhm, don’t know the answer to that, doctor.”

And you fucking knew that I wouldn’t know the answer.

Shepard was internally fuming, but he was able to mask it well. He had quickly learned that being a doctor meant he had to be an expert at controlling his emotions. There was a fine line he had to balance whenever he was delivering bad news. Sometimes his base instinct would have been to break down and cry right there with the patient, but he had to always separate himself from the news enough that he wouldn’t be affected and yet still avoid being ice cold.

Those were the skills that kicked into high gear as Shepard stood in the center of the circle of four other residents. Nick was standing on the other side of the hospital bed, typing something out on his iPad. His face was etched in an expression Shepard couldn’t read.

He assumed it was assholish satisfaction that he had successfully stumped Shepard in front of everyone.

“Right, well,” Nick said in his gravelly voice. The same voice Shepard had been salivating over as he pounded him from behind. It momentarily took him back to that day in the on-call room. Where life had felt so fucking good. He was on top of the world. Not only did he have the fuck of his life, he had done it with a man who he had genuinely felt a deep connection with. Nick finished answering his own question and looked to Shepard.

“Got it,” Shepard said, “I’ll have to study that chapter tonight.” His gaze fell down to the floor. He shouldn’t have felt like a scolded child, but he did. He reverted back to being in fourth grade and getting shoved into a corner by the teacher. Sure, he may have been acting like a brat and bothering the class while they were taking a test, but that moment still had a pretty profound impact on Shepard. He remembered the awkward glances his classmates would give as he was pressed up against the corner wall, the pastel yellow walls doing nothing to soothe him. He hated that feeling of being called out and put on the spot.

This isn’t fourth grade. White is testing me, that’s all.

He looked back up from the floor and was surprised to lock eyes with the doctor. There, Shepard saw the same warmth and intrigue that had captured him so powerfully in the first place. It was a momentary flash, though. Another moment later and Nick was focused in on the patient, asking more questions about the symptoms she was presenting with, his eyes no longer rooting Shepard in place.

Shepard shifted his weight, glancing down at the notes he had for the patient; Sandra O’Leary, who had come in for some intense stomach pains. His mind wanted to swirl around the image of those eyes, Nick’s eyes, but he honed in on the notes, working through his mental library of gastrointestinal conditions. She had come to the emergency room for severe stomach pains along with some accompanying joint discomfort. Shepard not only wanted to help Sandra, he also wanted to get something right. He wanted to stand up to Nick and prove that he wasn’t just going to sit there and take the abuse. And what better way of showing it to Nick than getting Sandra’s diagnosis correct?

That was when it hit him. There was a crucial test missing in the intake chart for someone presenting with her symptoms.

“Dr. White, I’d recommend a blood test for tissue transglutaminase antibodies. I’m thinking this could be celiac disease.”

Nick cocked his head, his eyes going back down to his notes and then up to Shepard. The doctor looked at him for a loaded moment, his eyes seeming to examine Shepard on the spot. Shepard felt exposed. He crossed his arms, suddenly feeling a warmth spread up his legs. Nick’s face cracked into a smile. That stony jawline was highlighted by a genuine smile that warmed the doctor’s face. It felt as if a proud father had just learned his son earned straight As.

“You’re right, Dr. Kensworth. I’m going to have to find out who handled your intake, Sandra, because they definitely should have included that in your blood panel. Have you eaten anything with gluten recently? Pizza, pasta, a sandwich?”

“I had pizza earlier, yeah.”

“Ok, that’s a good thing. We want gluten in your system to provoke those antibodies into coming out. If it tests positive, we’ll have to take a biopsy of your small intestine and check for any damage caused by the celiac disease. If it’s there, then we’ll have a diagnosis. And don’t worry, the procedure is painless and outpatient.” Nick looked up from Sandra, a smile still on his face. “Good job, doctors. I think we’re done with rounds for the day, so just make sure to handle all your paperwork and then I’ll see you all tomorrow, bright and early.”

Shepard managed a smile and a nod and left the exam room, letting the other three residents walk ahead of him down the busy hospital hallway. He was thrown off by Nick’s smile. It was so warm. So welcoming. Shepard had seen Nick smile before, but something in the way he looked at Shepard made this one different. Or maybe it was simply an effect from getting railroaded by a difficult question and then coming back with a proper diagnosis.

Shepard was going to go with the latter. He couldn’t let himself fall for a steely doctor with an addictive smile. He knew almost nothing about Nick and had no time to try and figure him out. Between studying for the boards and getting his stress out at the gym, his free time was mostly taken up. Work and sleep took up the rest of his days.

He left the hospital still in a state of confusion. He was also feeling a kernel of frustration take root in his chest. Why couldn’t Nick just admit that they had shared something that was worth following? And what had happened that changed the doctor so suddenly? They were supposed to have dinner, but Nicholas never followed up on it. Shepard was sure he wasn’t the only one who felt the connection, so why was this so damn complicated? He walked to the parking garage, climbing the stairs to the third floor where his aging Honda was parked. He got in and sat at the wheel, trying to figure out whether he wanted to just head home or if he had enough energy to lift weights.

Nick’s smiling face formed in his mind’s eye. The frustration grew from a seed into a gigantic redwood. Fuck it, even if he didn’t have the energy, he was going to head to the gym and work out this mess.

* * *

The gym was packed with people. It was the evening crowd that came in after a hard day’s work. Shepard usually worked out during the mornings, before he had to make his way to Sierra View. He wasn’t always a morning person but medical school changed that and now he felt weird not waking up early every day, even on the days he had off. The morning crowd at the gym was also a little easier to get around and the wait time for the machines was pretty much nonexistent. Shepard looked around the massive warehouse-turned-gym, taking stock of the situation as he walked toward the locker rooms. It seemed like most of the lower body machines were taken, and since Shepard planned on working out his legs, that made things slightly more complicated.

He turned a corner and walked down a short hallway toward the men’s locker room, denoted with a neon pink arrow with ‘men’ scrawled across the top that seemed spray painted onto the far wall. The women’s locker room was a neon blue and directly across from the men’s. He followed the pink arrow and walked around a large mirror that separated the actual locker room from the outside hall. Inside, he found an empty locker and dropped his black Nike duffel bag on a silver bench. He started changing out of his scrubs, planning out his workout and doing his best to keep Dr. White out of his head.

Shepard was tying his sneakers when he heard a voice from behind that froze him. He pretended to keep tying his sneakers, meanwhile his mind was racing to try and figure out a way to sneak out of the locker room without being noticed.

What the hell? Since when does he come here?