I can’t believe Dr. White is sitting in my passenger seat. And he told me to call him Nick. As if we were friends. What the hell is going on?

And my car is so damn dirty!

Shepard tried to ignore the graveyard of receipts he had in the central panel. He could literally spot a Starbucks receipt that was already a year old. He hoped it didn’t smell weird seeing as how his air freshener gave off its last piney scents a few weeks ago and now hung from his rearview mirror serving as a basic statement piece. Nick, thankfully, didn’t seem to mind the mess. Shepard wasn’t normally a complete disaster, but things had been tough lately and the inside of his car was hard for him to keep up for some reason. It almost made him want to invite Nick into his bedroom simply to prove that he wasn’t a total slob. His bed was made every day and his laundry was contained in a big white hamper with the word “wash” printed boldly down the side. He was actually pretty proud of how his bedroom looked, with a few oversized pillows, muted golds and browns and whites, a little fringe here and there.

He also would have invited him over simply to push him onto the bed and devour him from top to fucking bottom. The man was pure sex. It was in the way he spoke, the way he set his jaw, how he held his chest high, how his smiles always smoldered. It was in the way he simply was. Nick checked every single box, and Shepard was having a hard time ignoring it.

Then, Nick had started opening up to Shepard and he felt himself falling even harder. Something inside him had urged Shepard to reach out and touch Nick, and he did. He had grabbed his thigh out of a moment of pure emotion. Nothing sexual, purely supportive. And it did something to Shepard. It shifted something in his list of priorities. All he wanted to do was be able to reach out and comfort Nick whenever he needed it. He wanted to be Nick’s support, he wanted to be the solid column holding him up on difficult days like these.

Jesus. I’m getting attached without even dating the guy. This isn’t going to work and I need to stop fantasizing.

The same thing had happened with Rick. He had fallen hard for him before they had even gone on a date. It was months later when he realized how unhinged the man was and ended things, but he was blind to all that from the beginning. Shepard wasn’t sure why, but he knew that he fell hard and fast, and he was sure it was happening all over again. But this felt different in that it felt… worth it. Nick was worth the fall, so long as he was around to break it.

He could also tell that Nick was done opening up. That was fine with Shepard. He understood that not everything was going to be laid out in the open. He took what he got and left it at that, wondering what Anna had done and hoping that it would all turn out as well as he said it would. Shepard was great at putting on an optimistic mask and looking toward the brighter side of things. He definitely believed that Nick loved his daughter, and hearing him talk about her… well, it definitely did something to Shepard. He wasn’t sure what, but he felt it.

The rest of the drive wasn’t as awkward as Shepard feared it would be. In fact, there wasn’t an ounce of awkwardness to be found. Their conversation flowed as smooth as a river, the laughs as well. Shepard hadn’t realized how funny Nick was, in a dry kind of way. He definitely didn’t show off his humor at Sierra View, so it was really refreshing to hear him deadpan a joke about the time he was walking up a stage to give a presentation when he fell and, in his own words, “I rolled on the stage like a stunned armadillo. I don’t know why I chose to roll. A backwards Willie Wonka is who I was,” and Shepard laughed and laughed. Not even that the words itself were that funny, but when said by the stern doctor in his gravely voice who seemingly had the sexy ability to laugh at himself, and it was suddenly a knee-slapper. That story prompted Shepard to jump into the time he tripped and fell on a stage —his college graduation stage.

“No,” Nick said, dread on his face. The traffic was still stop and go, so Shepard took as many chances as he could to glance over. “That’s every college kid’s worst fear. Well, that and your alarm not working right before a final exam.”

“Annnnd that would be my second story.”

“Nooo,” Nick said, laughing now. “That happened to you, too?”

Shepard nodded, lips pursed into a smile. “It was for a dumb elective class, too, but without the final I would have failed the class. An easy A was going to turn into an F, sinking my GPA, and you know how important even just a decimal point in a GPA is when it comes to medical school admissions.”

“So what were you doing the night before? Big party? Had a little too much to drink?” Nick winked playfully.

“I was up all night reading the last Harry Potter book.”

Nick’s eyebrows rose in surprise as his smile widened. “It would have been worth it then.”

“Oh, totally.” Shepard chuckled, remembering his time as a freshman in college.

“So did you make it to the test?”

“Mhmm,” Shepard said, turning a left onto a quieter street with less traffic. “But, oh god, I’m not even sure I should finish this story.”

“What, why?” Nick looked to Shepard, his eyes practically glowing in the dark car. “I want to hear it. Your stories help me keep my mind off things.”

Shepard smiled at that, happy that he was helping out the doctor. “Ok, well, this dies in the car, ok?”

“You’ve got my Boy Scout’s promise.”

“Those are unbreakable, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Shepard chuckled, rolling his car to a stop at the stop sign. Apartment buildings bordered them on either side. None of them overly tall, mostly to be earthquake-safe, some of them looking newer than the others. People were just getting home from work, pulling into their garages, trudging up steps toward their homes, tired from the day. “Alright, so I was clearly in a panic when I woke up. No Time-Turner in sight, I had to throw on clothes and bolted out of my apartment. The teacher warned us he would lock us out if we were ten minutes late, giving us an automatic F. I saw my shot at medical school being destroyed. I was so dramatic. So I raced to campus and then considerably lowered my speed —those campus speed limits are no joke. I park, and I run, and I run, and I run. I had three minutes until he’d lock me out. But this was freshman year and I wasn’t anywhere near being in shape back then, so I’m just this little twig fighting all the forces of the earth to get to class in time.”

“Did you?” Nick was sitting on the edge of his seat.

“Yes,” Shepard said proudly, before quickly deflating. “But… I also had to throw up right outside of the class.” Shepard started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, Nick quickly joining in. “I walked in and everyone was deathly silent because they already started taking the test, so they clearly heard me being a hot mess outside. I walk in, all pale and sweaty, and find the last desk open. I sit down and the teacher walks over with a test in hand. He’s looking at me as if he’s trying to figure out what drugs I’m on. I definitely looked like I had done peyote or something.”

Nick was splitting in half with the laughter now. It was all Shepard had wanted. He wanted to hear that deep, warm laugh. It was a sound that filled Shepard was happiness, especially since it was also a sort of verification that Nick was actually having a good time. Even though shit was hitting the fan in his personal life, Shepard had the ability to take some of that away, even if only for a moment.

“Oh, oh, and get this.”

Nick was trying to stop his laughs. “What?”

“I didn’t bring a pencil!”