Harsh, hot wind whipped through Aly’s yard, stirring leaves and howling through the trees. Overhead, the night felt heavy as dark clouds gathered thick, the city lights ominous against the descending summer storm. Lightning flashed, sending a ripple of energy streaking through the air. It skittered over my flesh like a warning, leaving me cold and agitated in the wake of Christopher.
In shocked silence, we all gaped at the vacant doorway where Christopher had just bolted from the party. I ran my hands up and over my arms in an attempt to chase away the chills.
What the hell was that?
Christopher gave me whiplash. One minute his tongue lashing, striking with severe, cutting words, the next that same mouth filled with soft concern for my brother, then shifting again, his entire body vibrating with hostility, his actions swift and violent and far too much for me to process.
My heart pitched and rolled, dislodged from its seat. It rose to my throat.
Shakily I stood, blinking. “I think I should go.”
Aly approached, appearing beaten and guilty. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“I know you didn’t. I’m fine. It’s fine,” I corrected, my smile weak.
“It’s not fine.”
No, it wasn’t, but like I’d been saying for weeks, what was done was done, and there was no chance Christopher and I could undo all that hurt, no chance what Aly had in her mind for us could ever work.
I hugged everyone around the table, hugged Aly the longest. “Thank you for trying.”
Resigned, she stepped back, and I knew she was letting go. Maybe not as my friend, but she was letting go of that crazy, insane notion she’d had that somehow Christopher and I could see past all the mistakes we’d made.
“Why don’t you have Jared drive you home?” she offered. They shared one of those moments again, when they spoke a thousand words to each other without even the slightest utterance, both remorseful and disappointed, sharing in my pain, wishing there was a single thing they could do to ease it.
But all of us knew that was impossible.
I shook my head. “No… thank you. Honestly, I would prefer to be alone.”
Aly nodded acceptance, walked me to her front door, and hugged me again. She squeezed me tight. “Good night,” she said quietly.
“Good night,” I murmured, forcing a reassuring smile over my shoulder as I stepped back out into the night, when really, I felt completely defeated.
Out front, it seemed darker, almost sinister, as the dense clouds encroached, building higher and higher, preparing to devour everything in their path.
I hugged myself, dropped my attention to my feet as I hit the sidewalk leading back home. My hair whipped around my face, and I succumbed and gave in to the tears that I’d fought all night, as I’d sat in that backyard and listened to his voice and acted as if it didn’t wrap around me every time he spoke, as if he were just some guy and I was just some girl.
A gust of wind blew in low, sending a scatter of debris tumbling along the road. Lightning flashed overhead, a sheet of the brightest white, ushering in a clap of thunder right behind it, the storm chasing me down. Ducking my head, I increased my pace, knowing I was five seconds from getting caught in the grip of a monsoon.
Another flash of bright light lit up the night, streaks illuminating the dusty haze. I cringed, waiting for the strike, for the crash above that would surely give way to a torrential downpour of rain.
Awareness crawled over me as I noticed headlights growing nearer, the deep rumble of an engine close behind. Fear lifted the hairs at the nape of my neck, and shivers rolled in a cold wave of dread down my spine. My head screamed at me to run, all these clanging, blaring bells warning of the danger that lurked. But it was a familiar awareness that curled and pulsed, freezing my feet to the concrete below.
Slowly, I turned, blinded by the headlights burning from behind, though there was no mistaking the huge black truck that came to a stop twenty feet away. The door cranked open, lighting the cab.
And I knew I should run. Flee. Because I’d never been in greater danger than I was at that moment. His gorgeous face shifted from one dark expression to the next, his hair untamed, wild, as wild as the green eyes cutting me through as he jumped from the truck.
“Are you crazy?” I demanded against the wind, pounding my fist at my side, this man a raging contradiction.
Bitter laughter seeped from him while he glared across at me. “Crazy?”
Five excruciating seconds passed as we stood there, the storm gaining strength, gaining speed, beating at our senses. Before Christopher broke.
He closed the space in four long strides. Demanding fingers dove into my hair, pulling me flush against his body.
All defenses evaporated the second his mouth found mine. This wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was rough and angry, his tongue commanding. His teeth bit and nipped. Those flames licked and jumped, fueling the fire that years ago he had lit, and my tongue sparred with his, fighting a war I knew I’d lose.
Frantic, his hands roamed, cupping my neck, sliding down my shoulders and arms, thumbs flicking across my breasts. My nipples hardened, and a moan raced up my throat. Christopher groaned and swallowed it down, then gripped me by the hips, lifting me from my feet.
He slammed my back up against hard, hot metal. Pinned to his truck, I gasped, his body towering, consuming, devouring me the exact way I knew he would. His erection strained against his tight, tight jeans, pressing between my thighs, pressing into my stomach. My body trembled with the idea of setting him free, the idea of what he’d feel like pulsing inside of me, taking me right here, in the dark against his truck.
He closed his mouth over my bottom lip, sucking it hard, a direct tether to my sex that clenched, begging for more.
“Fuck.” The word reverberated like a moan from deep within his chest, the urgency in his touch finally tugging at my common sense that had gone numb with the assault of his mouth.
And he felt familiar and right and totally, incredibly wrong, this man I didn’t even know, because I never really had.
He rocked against me, and all those little pleasured places inside of me cried out in tortured relief as my spine grated painfully against metal. My legs tightened their hold on his waist, my hands just as desperate to feel and remember as my heart. But another part of me screamed to stop. To remember.
He threaded his fingers in my hair, gripping it tight, forcing my head back, his mouth running up and down my neck. His voice was a rumbled threat. “All I want is to be inside you, Samantha. To fuck you until you never forget who you belong to.” He bit my jaw, then kissed it softly, rolled his hips again.
And my face felt wet, soured and soaked. I couldn’t tell if it was from the tears I didn’t know were still falling or the storm that had begun to pelt heavy droplets from the sky. Realization dawned, and my chest heaved with a moan as sorrow fell.
Christopher mistook it for want, just like the rest of my body did, because I couldn’t stop myself from pressing back when he rubbed against me, brazenly shameless in the middle of the darkened street.
A street Ben could come driving down at any moment, the street where I lived, where I was supposed to be making a home – before Christopher again tore into my life.
My hands traveled to his chest, and I pushed him back. With my resistance, Christopher struggled to bring us closer. Memories of that night flickered, the stark reminder of the crazed need there was no breaking through.
“Please, stop,” I whimpered, pushing at him harder.
Disoriented, he pulled back, like maybe he’d just realized what had gone down, what he’d done, what I’d allowed him to do.
Those whimpers grew, and a ragged sob tore up my throat. I pounded him on the chest. “No… no. You don’t get to do this.”
Releasing me, he stumbled away. My feet landed unsteadily on the ground. Lightning flashed bright, like a spotlight on what we’d done, and Christopher watched me with wide, wild eyes before thunder cracked right above. Energy sizzled through the air, and the heavens opened up and poured their fury from above.
“No,” I whispered through a choked sob, the word drowned in the rain. I swallowed down my remorse, swallowed down the desire that blazed as hot and fast as the skies roiled. “I’m not a toy. You don’t get to play games with me. Not ever again.”
I forced myself to move, my four-inch wedges sloshing clumsily through the little rivers of water that gathered, running at the edge of the neighborhood street. I felt cold, chilled by his gaze that penetrated me from behind. I gathered all my courage, paused to look back at the man who held so much control over me, knowing it was time I took it back.
His hair was soaked, black locks clinging to his beautiful, furious face, his jaw clenched tight.
I found my voice. “You broke my heart once. You don’t get to do it again.” Then I turned my back and began to walk away.
His words hit me with the force of a two-ton truck. “You broke up with me, Samantha. Remember? I think it’s time you admitted who broke who.”
I looked back at him in disbelief, in my own indignation. Of course I remembered. I remembered every detail. I remembered what it felt like when he came to my room that last time. What it felt like to be terrified of the boy I thought loved me. Terrified that I didn’t recognize him. Terrified that he wouldn’t stop.
I remembered two days later at that party, standing there while Christopher stared at me with that vacant satisfaction on his face while he fucked another girl.
I remembered it all.
And now I realized clearly that I could never put myself in the position to feel that way again. Just this much of him was more than I could take.
“Stay away from me, Christopher.” I tore myself away, crossed my arms protectively over my chest, and propelled myself into the driving rain, refusing to look back.