I raked my hands over the top of my head and looked toward the ceiling.
“Fuck,” I swore, dragging them down and scrubbing my face, trying to clear my vision. I felt frantic.
Shock had knocked me stupid when Samantha had said Jasmine’s name, and that fucking lie had slipped from my mouth without my brain having the chance to consider the consequences. Jasmine represented every obscene choice I’d made in my life, and I wanted to protect Samantha from the knowledge of the vile person I’d been.
But I knew the second it hit the air I’d done Samantha wrong. She deserved the truth. What I had no clue about was the fact that she already knew.
God.
She fucking knew.
She had seen me when I’d been too lost in my own destructive world of self-loathing and hatred to even know she was there. She’d come back for me. She had loved me then, despite everything.
I finally got it. Why she’d been so terrified to start things back up with me when it was so clear she knew she belonged with me, the resistance she met me with at every turn.
It hadn’t been Samantha who’d given up. It’d been me. It didn’t matter that she’d told me to leave that night I’d stumbled into her room. I’d still belonged to her and she’d still belonged to me, and I’d just thrown myself away, didn’t wait or work or strive to make it right.
Didn’t put in the effort she deserved.
Samantha believed I’d betrayed her.
And I knew in my gut the reality was that I had.
I figured there were few things that could have been more hurtful for her than finding me with Jasmine. Still, she’d somehow found it in that forgiving heart of hers to give me a second chance. Of course, because I couldn’t help but be a fucking ignorant dickhead, I’d gone and screwed it up again.
I dug my phone out of my pocket and called her for what had to be the hundredth time since she’d fled out my door four hours earlier. My chest squeezed so fucking tight I could barely breathe when I listened to the sound of her recorded voice. It beeped, and I spoke, basically leaving the same message I’d been pleading all night. “Samantha… baby… please listen to me. You were never a game. Ever. Please… call me back. I can’t lose you again.”
Ending the call, I rubbed my forehead, trying to piece together everything Samantha had lived with as truth for the last seven years. I wasn’t surprised for a second to find out Ben had been feeding her his own lies, pumping her head full of deceit as another way to bend her to his will.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to go back and do it all over again. Tonight. The first time I saw her back at Aly’s house. Jasmine. Maybe even go back all the way to the night her parents had discovered we’d been sneaking around.
Do all of it over.
Love her the way only a girl like Samantha deserved to be loved. Fight for her. Show her and everyone who cared for her how much she meant to me, that I was dedicated, and that what I felt for her wasn’t just some teenaged crush that would fade. And no, maybe I’d never be good enough for her, because I doubted there was a soul in this world who was, but I wanted to prove I’d always be striving to be that person, striving to love her so much that maybe it’d make up for all of my inadequacies.
Relief pelted me when my phone rang in my hand.
“Damn it,” I muttered under my breath when I saw it wasn’t Samantha, but my sister. In a flash I realized that of course Samantha must have sought refuge there.
I accepted the call and lifted it to my ear. “Aly,” I said hesitantly, bracing myself for the attack I knew I deserved.
“Christopher.” She said my name with none of the anger I’d expected, but instead in a voice steeped in sadness.
My gut twisted. “What’s going on? Is Samantha there?”
“She was.”
Was.
In my panicked pause, she kept talking, her voice a strained whisper. “I know things fell apart between you two tonight, but while she was here, she got a call from her mom about Stewart. I don’t really have any details other than he was taken to the hospital. Samantha went straight there.” She softened. “I thought you’d want to know.”
Fear curled through my senses, and I pressed the heel of my hand into my eye, trying to tamp down the emotion that spread like a flash fire. “God,” I wheezed on a pained breath.
Not Stewart. Please.
I heard my sister swallow, could feel her hesitation and questions bleeding from across the distance. “She told me everything, Christopher. She was heartbroken when she got here. You know how much I love you, how much I want you to be happy, but I need you to be honest and tell me if you’re just playing with her.”
I pushed out a breath. “I fucked up, Aly. Really bad. But I love her. I always have.”
A reassured sigh slipped from her, and she inhaled before she continued. “I won’t try to make you feel better by saying what you did was okay, because it’s not. But I get why you did it.”
Did she?
“I knew the second I ran into her that there was a reason for it. She loves you. So much. And I’m worried about her. I’ve never seen anyone as distraught as she was when she left my house twenty minutes ago.”
Frustrated, I paced in front of my front door, gripping a handful of hair. “God, I need to be there for her.”
“I know, but I’m not sure she’s in any condition to deal with what you put her through right now.”
I exhaled in frustration. “You think I don’t know that, Aly?” I was pretty sure her parents still didn’t have the first clue about what’d been going on between us. Showing them now? All that would do was bring her more trouble… hurt her family more, and God knew they had enough to deal with right now. Plus, I didn’t even know if Samantha would want me there. If my presence would cause her comfort or bring her pain… But shit, I couldn’t just sit here, either.
“Do you know what hospital he’s at? I just need to be nearby.”
If she called? Needed me? Then I’d be right there.
Aly told me the name of the hospital, and I grabbed my keys from the counter and hit the garage. “Let me know if you hear from her, would you?”
“Yeah, of course. I love you, Christopher.”
“Love you, too.”
As if my life depended on it, I flew through the night, across the deserted streets, desperate to be there. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the visitor parking lot, which was only sporadically dotted with cars. Immediately, I spotted Samantha’s parked right at the front, and my spirit churned with the need to go to her.
Instead I forced myself to hide at the far end of the lot, my truck backed in so I could keep an eye on the door but stay far enough away that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself.
That desperation I’d felt to get here turned torturous as I sat for hours and waited. Agony for Stewart wrapped around me like an ill-fitting coat, squeezing me, burying me in the worry I felt for Samantha. All of it damned near had me making more bad choices, agitation bouncing my knee as I had to force myself to stay in the cover of my truck when all I wanted was to go to her.
Tall streetlamps illuminated the quiet parking lot. Off to the east, the intermittent drone of cars flying down the freeway just added to the overbearing stillness.
Exhaustion pinned my head to the headrest, my eyes heavy and burning as the first hint of light pressed at the horizon. But my heart and mind remained frantic, churning with regret and fear.
Rays climbed higher in the sky, blazing brighter, chasing away the night. Darkness slowly gave way to day. I scrubbed my palms over my face, trying to break up the tension contending with the emptiness doing its best to suck me under.
Goddamn it.
I blew out a breath.
My phone buzzed with a text and I rushed to grab it.
Aly.
Samantha texted me. Stewart’s organs are shutting down. They are doing what they can to make him comfortable. I’m so sorry, Christopher.
Grief constricted my throat, and I slumped back in my seat, completely gutted.
Why did life have to be so fucking unfair?
Hours passed while I sat vigil, my sight glued on the hospital’s front doors. At just after five p.m., they slid open for what had to be the millionth time that day. But this time… this time it was Samantha and her family.
I shot forward, gripping the steering wheel. Samantha’s father held her mother around the shoulders as he led her out, Sally Schultz’s face buried in her husband’s chest. I felt jarred by the fact that her brother and sister, Sean and Stephanie, were there, too, the past years also having stripped them of all their youth. Their faces were pale, lost in a foggy stupor as they emerged from the hospital in a daze.
But it was really only Samantha who I saw. She came out last, in the distance appearing so fragile and broken. She hugged herself around her middle, her shoulders drawn up to her ears and her head bowed. The rest of her family shuffled out into the parking lot. Just at the edge of it, Samantha paused, holding herself while she lifted her face toward the sky, her face that was soaked with tears and a sorrow I’d give anything to rid her of. Blond hair whipped around her, like her movements commanded a raging storm.
My throat got all gravelly and my eyes burned.
I could feel it – the severity of her pain, the agony that vibrated from her bones, surging out on endless waves. They slammed into me, one by one.
Not going to her had to be about the most excruciating thing I’d ever endured. Sitting here, my fingers curled into the leather, I drew on all the restraint I had to force myself to stay still.
The selfish part of me was begging her to look up. To feel me the same way I was feeling her. Begging her to call out to me to come to her so I could hold her, so I could make her promises that she couldn’t help but believe.
Because every single one of them would be the truth.
Instead I jerked when I noticed the movement off to her right. That bastard Ben strode up to her, his head craned to the side as if he was trying to get her to see him the same way I was. He took her by the shoulders. I watched as her mouth dropped open in shock, and I got as antsy as all hell when he tried to wrap her up in his filthy arms.
A fierce swell of possessiveness started in my gut and spread like wildfire, a savage blaze scorching my limbs, flexing my hands into fists on the dash. I kept squeezing them, trying to keep myself in check.
He’d lied to her, and because of it Samantha had spent years harboring hurt over some shit that had never gone down. No doubt, the douche bag had taken it into his own hands to slant the catastrophe that had become our lives in his favor.
All of his protective big-brother bullshit.
He’d just been lying in wait, ready to strike when the opportunity hit, and the second I’d fallen he’d been right there to bury me.
I wondered how long it’d taken him to coerce her into bed.
She finally shoved him off, and it sucked that I felt some sort of corrupted atonement in her rejection of him. Even though I knew I deserved it, the idea of her running back to him after what I’d done just about killed me.
Then I watched anger seem to seize him, the way his body tensed as the good-guy act was peeled away to reveal the asshole underneath. He curled his fingers at the outsides of her arms and shook her.
Fuck no.
That piece of shit was not going to get away with that.
My tongue darted out to wet my dry lips, and I shifted in agitation, knowing there wasn’t much more I could take before I snapped.
Samantha’s dad slowed, looking back, and then finally turned fully to walk their way. I could sense his own surprise at the heated exchange, and I couldn’t help but wonder how little her parents really knew about what had been happening in Samantha’s life and what she really wanted from it.
Ben flung his arm out in Stephen Schultz’s direction, and Stephen shouted something back.
What the hell?
Narcissistic douche bag. Did he not get what Samantha and her family were going through right now?
I raked a flustered hand over my face in an attempt to battle the voice screaming in my head, demanding that I get involved. But I was pretty damned sure that would only make matters worse.
The rest of Samantha’s family stood there in shock, her mother appalled at whatever was being said. Stephanie went to her mother’s side and wrapped her arm around her waist while Sean edged forward, encroaching on Ben.
Ben turned back to Samantha, who had tears flooding down her face, but there was no mistaking the anger there, too. Her mouth curled up in hatred when she spat words in his direction.
Then it was as if the world stood still as I watched that piece of shit lift his hand and slap her across the face.
For two seconds, no one moved, time stopping as everyone seemed to process what was happening in front of us. Then Samantha reared back, her face distorted in horror. Her shaking hand went up to her flaming cheek.
And then time sped.
Her father lunged for Ben, and there was no longer anything in this world that could hold me back. I threw open my door and hurled myself out of the truck. I couldn’t even feel my feet slapping against the pavement as I flew across the lot.
The only thing I felt was myself coming apart at the seams. All the hatred I’d harbored for so many years rose to the surface. A suffusion of rage stormed through every last one of my senses. My love for her was bright. Blinding. The knowledge of the huge hand Ben had played in stealing her away from me vivid.
Still, every single one of those intense feelings was eclipsed by that fact that he’d hurt her.
In that moment, it was the only damned thing I could see.
I launched across the space and my body collided with Ben’s in a force I felt all the way to my bones.
Samantha’s father stumbled out of the way as I took Ben down. We crashed to the ground. I scrambled to pin him down and I cocked my elbow back. Trying to break free, Ben lifted his upper body, and I rammed my fist so hard into his face that his head rammed into the pavement. A sick sort of satisfaction fell over me when I felt his nose crunch beneath the force.
I didn’t even give him time to register the hit. I landed another punch, this time to the temple. A garbled sound spluttered from his throat. It was another insult. More abuse targeted at Samantha. More lies. More accusations.
“So he is what this is all about?” he demanded, spewing hot hatred in Samantha’s direction, his body bucking up, trying to knock me off. “This piece of shit is the reason you’re leaving me?”
And I felt myself slipping, sucked beneath the crashing waves by this powerful undertow.
Somehow the asshole got lucky and clocked me on the side of the mouth, and my head rocked back. All that did was fuel the force of my next blow, which connected under his jaw.
I clutched him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him, then slamming him back down. “You touch her again and I will end you. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
“Fuck you,” he slurred, grappling at my wrists as he tried to throw off my hold. “You think you can just waltz back into her life and fuck with her head? Take her from where she belongs? You’re nothing but garbage.”
Where she belongs?
I rammed him down and pressed my forearm up under his chin, against his throat, my nose almost touching his as I growled in his face. “She belongs with me, asshole, and you saw to it that she was taken from me, didn’t you? All these years, you led her to believe I’d been messing around on her.” I increased the pressure. “Never. I’d never do that to her. And now she’s hurting… hurting worse than she ever has, and you’re going to make this day about you?”
A heavy hand landed on my shoulder. “Enough.” I jerked to find Samantha’s father frowning down at us. “Enough,” he said quieter, when it was clear he’d broken through the craze that had taken over my mind.
Reluctantly, I released my hold and pushed to my feet, and Ben wheezed as he inhaled a sharp breath.
I dabbed with my tongue at the tiny cut at the side of my lip, tasting the rusty flavor of blood.
“You okay?” Samantha’s father asked, tilting his head to the side, his eyes dropping to the cut like he was worried about my condition. He was panting, and there was no missing how rattled he was. Here the guy had just had his world turned upside down, and me and this bastard Ben were scuffling in the fucking parking lot like a couple of dumb-ass kids. And that shit sucked, but there was no regretting standing up for Samantha.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
Ben rolled over and propped himself up on both hands, coughing toward the ground. He glared up at me. “She was just fine before you came back. We were just fine.”
Her anguished voice hit me harder than Ben had. “Fine? You think I was fine? All those years you were lying to me, knowing how much those lies hurt?” She bit back a sob. “You have always decided what you thought was best for me. You don’t get to do that anymore, because those decisions were never in my best interest. Every direction you ever tried to push me? You did that for yourself! I told you last night I don’t want to be with you anymore. And after today… what you did? I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Ben struggled to standing and rubbed the back of his hand under his bleeding nose, smearing blood across his cheek as he looked to Samantha’s father. “Stephen… help me talk some sense into her. Tell her what a fool she’s being.”
Turmoil radiated from Stephen’s rigid movements, a jumble of disappointment and agony. “We lost our son today…”
I flinched at the sorrow contained in his words, and my insides twisted in two when the jagged cry left Samantha with her father’s statement. All I wanted was to rush to her, to wrap her up, to promise her it would be okay. But out of respect, I averted my gaze to my feet, because I wasn’t sure either she or Stephen Schultz would want me a witness to their pain.
His tone took on an air of disbelief. “And you come out here, making demands of my daughter.” His voice tightened in emphasis. “Then you strike her and you have the audacity to think I’d take your side?” In disgust, he shook his head. “Go. Just like Samantha said, I don’t ever want to see you near my daughter again.”
“Stephen —”
“Go,” Stephen cut him off.
Ben’s attention darted around at everyone who was staring at him. With her hand pressed to her mouth, Samantha’s mother quietly cried, and Stephanie clung to her side while Sean took on a defensive stance that warned he’d be all too happy to jump in if needed.
As if they were all scum under his feet, Ben lifted his chin like the cocky asshole he was, boastful pride filling up his expression. One that left me itching to knock it off his face. With a sneer, he looked to Samantha. “Your loss.”
Then he turned and stalked away.
A muddled sob escaped Samantha, a mixture of relief and sorrow and confusion. Tortured blue eyes landed on me.
So much for playing it cool, hiding in the shadows, because I’d just dragged all our shit out into the open.
“God, Samantha, I am so sorry,” I whispered, hoping she’d hear all the pain and regret in my words. For Stewart. For all the pain I’d caused her. For Ben doing her so wrong.
“You lied t-t-to me,” she stuttered through the tears streaming down her face, clutching her chest. “You lied to me,” she choked. “And my brother…” Her tone was hopeless, distant and full of denial.
Grief squeezed the air from my lungs, and my face pinched up with remorse. With the loss. “I’m so sorry,” I said, the words coarse and choppy. “I know this has gotta be the worst day of your life.” Warily, I looked around at her family, and I tripped over my words when I met with all the suffering pouring from their eyes. “The worst day of all your lives. And God, I never intended to make it worse.” Grimacing, I turned back to that sweet girl, that girl who was so good and perfect and beautiful it fucking pained me to look at her and not be able to touch her. “Please understand I just needed to be nearby, here for you if you needed me.” I drove an anxious hand through my hair. “And when he showed up… when he hit you… I couldn’t stand aside and do nothing. I’m sorry if I hurt you more… any of you… It’s the last thing I want to do.” I inhaled deeply, drawing air into my vacant lungs. “I am so tired of hurtin’ you, Samantha. Don’t want to do it anymore.”
Her mother blinked through her confusion, trying to catch up, but it was clear from her father’s expression that he was already there.
Dropping her eyes closed, Samantha whimpered before she chanced looking back at me. “How can I ever believe what you say, when every time you turn around, you lie to me? I thought… I thought this time it was real.”
Real.
And it didn’t matter that we had an audience. I took a step forward and laid myself bare. “You don’t think what we have is real? Falling in love with you? That was the best gift I’ve ever been given.” I swallowed over the lump that throbbed in my throat. “And losing you? For me… it was a tragedy. I condemned myself to a life of nothing, refusing to feel anything real. I cut myself off from feeling for a whole lot of years. Not a care in this world, because I just had lost the capacity to care. Aly… Jared… Ella Rose – each of them took a part in beginning to lift me from it. But, Samantha… you coming back? You rescued me from it. Because you’re real… and when I’m with you, you make me that way, too.”
But it came at a cost.
Loving someone. Caring about someone more than you care about yourself. The selfishness that reigned supreme no longer wearing its crown.
I knew it and accepted and wanted it.
No longer would I run from it.
“I love you. I love you so much that I’m willing to let you go if that’s what you really want. But I’m never going back to that place of feeling nothing, because you’ve reminded me what it feels like to live. To really live. Not just for myself but to live because there’s something greater out there that I should be living for, something bigger than all of us.” Taking a single step back, I tipped my head to the side. “And I know I messed up… But every second with you? It was real. Don’t ever doubt that.”
I retreated further, feeling myself ripping apart as I gave her the space I knew she needed, the time I knew she deserved. Her mother walked to her side, winding her in supportive arms while Samantha looked on me with so much confusion and need it almost dropped me to my knees. I flattened my hand over my pounding heart. As I continued to walk backward, I cast her a sad smile and whispered the words I knew her heart would understand. “Just you and me and forever.”
And fuck if it didn’t damn near destroy me when I turned and left her.
But I had to go, because this was no longer about me. Not about what I wanted and what I was desperate for.
This was about a girl.
One I’d wronged.
One who was in pain.
One who needed to be set free – free from coercion and the chains that held her down. Free from pressures and compulsions and expectations.
Free to love.
For once, completely free to decide.
The sun shined high in the endless desert sky, bright and glaring and warm. It was a stark, blinding contradiction to the dark veil that covered the somber gathering. Discomfort shifted my feet, and I tugged at the black tie that felt like a noose made for the sole purpose of strangling the life out of me, constricting my throat, which bobbed heavily with emotion. Emotion so overbearing it clenched my teeth and burned in my eyes, a physical weight to my limbs and a burden to my failing heart.
God, it hurt.
And any sorrow I was feeling? It paled in comparison to what Samantha was feeling. What her family was feeling. A shock of grief and sympathy slammed me when I let my mind wander to what she had to have been going through for the last four days, since Stewart had passed.
I hadn’t seen or talked to her in all that time, giving her the space she needed though every part of me wanted to be there.
I almost didn’t show my face today, either. But this morning Aly had insisted that Samantha would want me here, even though she wouldn’t give me a straight answer about whether Samantha had asked for me or not.
Either way, I knew in my gut I needed to come, that just like that awesome kid had touched every life here, he’d also touched mine. In a profound and undeniable way. In a way that had always made me better, even if for too many years of my life, I’d tried to ignore it, what it’d meant and by extension, what he’d meant.
I held back at the fringes of the sea of black, masked by the shade of a massive elm tree that stretched for the heavens, and something about it felt like a flagrant symbol of Stewart’s life. Solid and bold and beautiful. Strong. Even though a disease had made him frail and weak, he had the strongest spirit of anyone I’d ever met. He had made his mark on this world, and there was no amount of time that could erase it.
I tried to keep it inconspicuous as my gaze roamed the faces, desperate to see the one who held me hostage, heart and mind. But I never caught so much as a glance, and I knew she’d be sitting in one of the two rows of chairs that were set up close to the casket, reserved for family.
A soft, broken voice drifted over the assembly. Samantha’s mother stood at the podium, speaking the words that were in my own heart about the imprint that a beautiful soul had permanently etched on her.
“Even if I will never see his face again here on this earth” – she touched her chest – “I will forever feel him here.”
And it was like you could see her words weave through the crowd, the way everyone swayed with the impact of them, like they, too, were tucking them away, fortified by this woman’s bravery and belief.
When she began to cry, Samantha’s father came up behind her and helped her down.
God, this was brutal.
Prayers were said and a haunting hymn was played as the casket was lowered. I fisted my hands, trying to ward off the grief of it all, the sadness that felt all encompassing. An invitation was made for everyone to attend a reception held at Samantha’s father’s church, and the crowd began to disperse.
I remained in the shadows, waiting, because I couldn’t force myself to leave.
Aly and Jared emerged, the two hand in hand, my sister in a black skirt and sapphire blouse, Jared looking just about as uncomfortable and awkward as me in a dark suit.
Aly came right up to me and hugged me to her. “I’m sorry, Christopher.”
I nodded, knowing I was owed no sympathy, but understanding what my sister implied all the same. “I know.”
Jared put his hand on my shoulder, the gleam of his blue eyes knowing, because dude knew exactly why I was all spun up, how important all of this was, though I’d done my best to convince him otherwise. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
I gave him a short nod. “Yeah. Thanks, man.”
They headed toward Jared’s truck. The crowd thinned, and I tensed when Samantha’s parents appeared, flanked by both of her siblings. Sally Schultz lifted her face, lines cutting across her forehead, set deep at the corners of her eyes. I swallowed hard when they approached, suddenly feeling like it had been a really bad idea to show up. The last thing I wanted to do was show them any disrespect, to make this day any harder than it already was.
When they began to pass just a few feet away, I dropped my gaze to my feet. I startled with the soft hand that squeezed my biceps and looked up in time to catch the mournful smile Mrs. Schultz cast my way. “Thank you for being here.” She cleared her throat, met my eye. “Go to her… She needs you.”
Then she dropped her hold, Stephen Schultz gently leading her away. But not before he clapped me once on the back.
And I knew there was a whole ton left unsaid between us. Years of hurt and misunderstandings and bitterness.
No, there was no chance it’d be fixed in a day. But I also recognized their need to support their daughter, that the decisions they’d made in our past had never been out of spite but out of care for their daughter.
Slowly the area completely cleared out, until only she and I remained. She stood facing away, staring down at the black casket, which had been lowered into the ground, hugging herself in much the same way she had four days ago when she’d left the hospital. The long length of her hair whipped around her, her spirit protesting what was laid out in front of her.
Every inch of my body tightened as I silently edged forward, my insides all tangled and coiled with sorrow and remorse and this hope that I refused to let go.
Four feet from her, I stopped, though there was a part of me that felt at one with her, a partner to her pain, to the torment that both twisted her up and broke her down.
What felt like an eternity passed, one we shared. Through the space, I held her while she lifted her face to the sky, and I knew she was saying good-bye.
My chest squeezed when she finally turned to look at me from over her shoulder, her beautiful face laced with sorrow. “I can’t believe he’s really gone,” she murmured.
“It seems impossible,” I whispered. All those pictures Samantha had been showing me were still vibrant behind my eyes, impressions of memories that had taken hold. “I hate it… hate it for you… hate it for your family.”
Pain lashed across her face, everything exposed, completely laid bare. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides. Like she was lost in some anxious anticipation.
Like she knew after this moment nothing would ever be the same.
“Do you love me, Christopher? What you said outside the hospital… Tell me it’s true, and don’t make me a fool for believing it.” It was a plea straight from her heart. Transparent and vulnerable.
I took one tentative step toward her, then another, and Samantha slowly turned to face me as I got close enough to slip my hand up to cup one side of her face, prepared to lay myself at her feet. I grazed my thumb along the sweet swell of her bottom lip. “The first time I caught sight of this mouth? I’m pretty sure there was a piece of me that fell in love with you, because once you hooked me, you never let go.” My hand trailed down along her delicate neck, and she shivered when it came to rest over the thunder pounding in her chest. “But I knew it as soon as you showed me this amazing heart.”
In a rush of relief and surrender, she collapsed against me, and I didn’t hesitate to scoop her into my arms when her knees buckled beneath the weight of this unfair world.
Clutching my shirt, she choked over a sob that swam with sorrow and brimmed with hope. “Stewart always told me I deserved to be swept off my feet.”
I exhaled heavily with the relief and joy of her words on such a sad day, and I pressed my face to the top of her head, making a silent promise to carry her wherever she wanted to go.
A breeze blew through, and I felt it deep, that fucking awesome kid who’d shined all his light, just a smile, and the world was a better place.
And I could hear him whispering for me to take care of her.
Not because she needed it.
Not because she was weak or naive.
But because she deserved to be loved in the same way she loved.
With everything.
Samantha buried her face under my chin, her voice hoarse but sure. “Take me home, Christopher.”