MAGNUS

“You were the one that paid for mom’s funeral, weren’t you?  You sent those flowers, the hundred dozen white roses.  And then, that day after I told you Cherokee had died, I got an email from the humane society saying someone had donated five thousand dollars in his name.”

I nod, slightly ashamed of my own cowardice.  “I should have done more, baby.  Daddy should have taken better care of you, shouldn’t have waited this long.  You’re such a special girl, I knew it all along.  I wanted you, but I held back.  I had this ugliness going on in my life and I didn’t want it to touch you.  I wasn’t even sure whether or not I’d be going to prison.  You were the only thing that brought life to my days in the last three months, Angel.”

She’s snuggled into my lap as flames crackle and pop in the fireplace.  We’re sitting at a side table as I feed her the dinner she’d requested.  Macaroni and cheese, with noodles in the shapes of Disney characters.  Yep, they make that.  And I made sure to have some delivered yesterday along with everything else.  Somehow, I just knew.

We’ve been locked down here at the cabin for going on five days now, and I don’t want to give her up.  She’s had me read Beauty and the Beast to her three times and I’ll do it a thousand more if that’s what she wants.

I needed her like this, all to myself until the world came calling again.  She’s told me things I wish I had known before.  Like that she was evicted from her apartment.  That all of her belongings, the things she’s had since childhood, the things she inherited from her mom... they’re all still inside.  Doomed to be tossed in a dumpster because she can’t come up with the back rent on her own.  Well, all that has changed now.  The apartment is secure, bought and paid for, and I’m having her things boxed up and sent here where they’ll be safe.

I got her set up on a computer too.  Who knew someone her age was so technophobic.  But we talked a lot about her dyslexia.  I made a few phone calls and have a specialist that is going to start working with her in a couple weeks.  In the mean time, he gave us a few online programs for her to use to start to help. 

“Do you think they’ll like me?”  She dabs the linen napkin at her lips then drapes her arms around my neck and I melt.

“Baby, they’ll love you.”

We’ve got a dinner planned for tonight with my sister and brother.  Angel invited her friend, Andrea as well.

“What do I call you?”  She scrunches up her nose.  “When people are around.”

“Well, I think in our house, with the people we love, you can call me Daddy.  If they don’t understand, then that’s their problem.  I don’t ever want to hide who we are, baby.  But let’s see how you feel when they are here.  I don’t ever want you to be uncomfortable.  Out in the world, in public, you can call me Magnus.  Or just whisper ‘Daddy.’ Now sit up straight.”  I kiss her hair and spoon a heaping, steamy pile of cheesy noodles between her lips as she wiggles into my lap.  “Baby, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that on your own.  Thinking you had nothing, nowhere to go.”  I shake my head.  “Nobody should ever have to stay in a place like that.”

“It’s okay.  I was only homeless for a couple of days.  Made me grow up a little.” 

“Just don’t grow up too much, my Angel.  Daddy likes you just the way you are.”

“Thank you so much.  You’re just a big, sweet teddy bear.  My big teddy bear.”  She kisses my cheek and my heart just about pops right out of my chest.