There are times when a man has to look at the choices he made and decide if they were the right ones. When I finally got my hands on Lenny, everything else fell by the wayside. I hadn’t thought about the blowback, or the possibility that someone else I cared about might get hurt, and it’d almost cost me everything all over again. I knew I’d fucked up. I’d gotten caught up in the moment and didn’t think things through. I should’ve taken a step back and calculated a plan, but I was too eager and too desperate to move on with my life. I just prayed that it wasn’t too late, and I’d have time to make things right. Despite the heaviness in my chest, I felt a sense of relief at having Tristen back in my arms, feeling her body pressed against mine. Just being close to her soothed me. She was able to take my pain and make it bearable. When Tony had called, I knew it was bad. I could hear it in his voice. I’d tried calling him, over and over again, but I’d gotten no answer. I’d been left in the dark as I raced over to the garage, and I couldn’t help but imagine the worst. With it all over and her finally in my arms, the raging beast was forced back into the darkness.
All too soon, she pulled back from our embrace and looked up at me. “We need to get to the hospital.”
“We’ll run over to county first and check on Tony. We’ll see if they can tell us where they decided to take Max.” I knew he was going to need major surgery, and county wasn’t equipped to handle someone in his condition. “It’s going to take them some time to get him stabilized and ready for surgery.”
“Okay.” She followed me over to the car and got inside. As soon as we hit the main road, the questions started. “Who was that man?”
“Joey was one of the men who killed Lainey and my father.”
Her eyes widened for a moment as the words sunk in. “And Lenny is his brother.”
“Yes.”
“Where is he?”
“At one of my warehouses.”
“Is he still alive?”
“He is… for now.”
Seeming unfazed by the fact that I was going to kill Lenny, she asked, “Is he the reason why you were gone for so long?”
“Yes.”
“And why you didn’t call or message me for days?”
“Yes.”
I could feel the tension rolling off her as she turned and looked out the window. The questions stopped and she became quiet, too quiet. I figured that meant she was overthinking things, or she was pissed and about to blow. Hell, I couldn’t blame her. Everything that had happened was my fault. She, Tony, and Max had been caught in the crossfire, and there was nothing I could say to defend myself. Tristen was still looking out the damn window when we pulled up at the hospital. Without looking at me, she got out of the car and started walking inside. Yep, she was pissed.
She walked up to the front desk and said, “I’m here to see Tony Marino.”
“Are you family?”
Without skipping a beat, she answered, “I’m his fiancée.”
“Come on back,” the nurse told her as she opened the door. When I started following, the nurse pointed to the side door. “The waiting room is right around the corner.”
Remaining quiet, Tristen kept walking forward without looking back in my direction. Left with no choice, I went to the waiting room and sat down. It was almost fifteen minutes later before Tristen returned. She stopped in the doorway and said, “Max is at Regional. They’re prepping him for surgery now.”
As soon as I stood up, she turned and started walking towards the front door. She continued outside and over to my car. As soon as she got inside, she buckled her seatbelt and stared out the window. It was a thirty-minute drive to Regional, and the silent treatment had started to get to me, so I asked, “Do you have something you want to say?”
“No.”
“I think you do.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“I’m sorry you got pulled into this. It wasn’t my intention.”
“Seriously, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Max is in the hospital fighting for his life. He’s the only thing either of us should be concerned about right now.”
“Max is going to be fine.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“He’s gotten through worse than this before. He’ll do it again.”
“Who’s to say this time he won’t? He lost a lot of blood, and he wasn’t conscious when they put him in the helicopter. How do you know he has the strength to pull through it this time?” Tears started to trickle down her cheek as she turned away from me. “He put his life on the line for me, and I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t make it.”
There was some truth behind her words, and deep down, I knew she was right. Suddenly, I found myself feeling even more anxious to get to the hospital. Without realizing it, I pressed my foot against the accelerator, increasing our speed as we raced down the interstate. When we finally made it, we both rushed inside and went straight to the front desk.
An elderly lady was seated at the help desk and smiled as we approached her. “Can I help you?”
“We're here to see about Max Fisher. Can you tell me where we need to go?”
“Are you a relative?”
Before I answered, Tristen gave me a quick jab in the side with her elbow. “I’m his brother.”
Something about saying the words aloud hit me. In every way that mattered, Max was a brother to me. There was never a time that he wasn’t there when I needed him, and not just at work. He was there pushing me to be better, encouraging me to do what was right, and he never accepted less than my best. He was there for me in ways that my own brother had never been. I owed him my life, and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. He had to make it. He just had to.
She took a minute to search his name in the computer, and then looked up at me with concern. “Mr. Fisher is in surgery. It’s going to be a little while before we know anything. You can sit in the waiting room, and I will have someone come speak to you when they are done.”
“I’d appreciate that. Thank you.”
I reached for Tristen’s hand and led her over to the waiting room. Since it was nearly three in the morning, the place was relatively empty. We walked over to the corner by the TV, and Tristen clung to my hand as we sat down. Like me, she was nervous, but she was trying to keep it together. I looked up at the TV, but I couldn’t focus on what they were saying. My head was bombarded with thoughts, making it impossible to think straight. We hadn’t been sitting there long when my phone chimed with a text message. I pulled it out of my pocket, and as I looked down at the screen, I saw that it was from Ryder.
Ryder:
Any news on Max?
Me:
He’s in surgery now.
Ryder:
Need me to do anything?
Me:
Check in on Tony.
Ryder:
I’m here now. He’s in recovery and doing fine.
Me:
Good. Go see about our guests. I’ll meet you there when I can.
Ryder:
Will do.
As I placed my phone back in my pocket, I looked down at my lap and saw that Tristen was still holding on to my hand. I wanted to think it was a good sign, but I wasn’t so sure. Over the past few weeks, I’d fucked up in more ways than I could count, and I couldn’t blame her for having her doubts. Hell, I had plenty of my own. I honestly didn’t know if I was capable of giving her the kind of love that she needed. Years ago, I’d given my heart to Lainey and losing her broke me. It had damaged me in ways I couldn’t comprehend, and until Tristen, I was fine. I wasn’t good, but I was fine. I had my shit together, but Tristen made me want to be better than fine. I wanted to be better for her. I wanted to give her my best. I didn’t want to be just fine anymore.
We sat there quietly lost in our own thoughts for over an hour, and Tristen was just about to doze off when a nurse approached us. “Are you here for Max Fisher?”
“Yes. I’m his brother.”
“Well, he’s out of surgery, and he’s stabilized. He’ll be in the ICU for the next few hours. If all goes well, they’ll put him in his own room.”
“So, he’s going to be okay?”
“The next few hours are critical. He lost a lot of blood, and the doctor is having a hard time regulating his blood pressure. He just got another blood transfusion, and they are hoping that will help.”
“When can we see him?”
“He really needs his rest, but I can take one of you back for a few minutes.”
Tristen turned to me and said, “You go. I’m sure he’d like to see you.”
I nodded and followed the nurse down the corridor. My chest tightened as we headed down the second hallway. I hated hospitals. I’d been in them more times than I could count, and just knowing the rooms were filled with people fighting for their lives gave me an uneasy feeling. I knew Max was bad off, but I didn’t know just how bad, until I followed the nurse into his room. She hadn’t mentioned that he was hooked up to so much shit, and he looked like he was on his death bed. I walked over to the side of the bed, and I almost didn’t recognize him with the respirator over his mouth and the bruising around his face.
I leaned towards him, and as I placed my hand on his forearm, I whispered, “Max, you did good. Real good. I need you to hang in there. Don’t stop fighting.”
After the nurse checked his stats, she looked over to me. “I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes. They say he can hear you, so just keep talking to him, and let me know if you need anything.”
Once she was gone, I looked down at Max and watched the rise and fall of his chest as the respirator filled his lungs with oxygen. It was tough seeing him so messed up, and knowing it should’ve been me lying there, I would’ve done anything to be able to trade places with him. He didn’t deserve any of it, and I needed to tell him I was sorry. I’d never been one for talking. I’d always kept things bottled up, but Max could take one look at me and know what was on my mind. As much as I needed him to do that now, I knew he couldn’t. So, I pulled up a chair next to him and just started talking.
“You know, I could really use some of your unsolicited advice right about now. I’ve made a real mess of things, and I’m not sure I have it in me to fix it. I was too caught up in getting my revenge. I needed them to pay for what they’d done, and I was too focused on them to see that the people I cared about might get caught in the crossfire. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry you’re in here fighting for your life because of the choices I made. I need you to pull through this and tell me how to fix it. I know you’d just tell me that all this comes with the territory, that I needed to toughen up and do what needs to be done, but I don’t even know where to start. Hell, I’ve still got Lenny locked up in that damn warehouse. I’ve gotta deal with that shit before I can deal with the mess I’ve made with Tristen.” I ran my fingers through my hair as I leaned back in my chair. “Hell, I’ve really fucked up there. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was just caught up in making her mine, and I didn’t even realize what was happening until it had already happened. I thought I’d be able to keep my guard up, to protect myself from all those feelings, but she got to me, brother. She found a way through, and now, I’m all messed up in the head.”
When I didn’t get a response, I looked over to him and saw that he was still out cold. It was late. I needed to get Tristen home, and hopefully, by the time we made it back, he’d be awake. I stopped by to let the nurse know I was leaving, then I headed to find Tristen. When I got to the waiting room, she was sound asleep in her chair. She’d been through hell and was beyond exhausted. I walked over and lifted her into my arms, cradling her close to my chest as I carried her out to the car. Once I had her settled inside, she mumbled, “How is he?”
“He’s making it okay. Get some sleep.”
In a matter of seconds, she drifted back off to sleep. She continued to sleep all the way back to the condo, and as soon as we got upstairs, she headed down the hall and went to bed. As much as I hated to leave her, especially alone and upset, I needed to get over to the warehouse and deal with Lenny. I set the alarm and headed down to my car. I was running on fumes as I headed to the warehouse, but the thought of finally getting to Lenny gave me the drive to keep going. When I walked in, Ryder was there waiting for me. When I started towards the room where I’d put Lenny, Ryder said, “Before you go in there, I think you need to have a word with Darla.”
The look on his face made me curious. “Why? What’s going on?”
“She’s got some information you’d be interested in.”
“About?”
“Just talk to her.”
I left him and went straight to the room where I had her bound to the chair. As soon as I walked in, I went over and I released her from the restraints. Relief washed over her as she stood. “Are you letting me go?”
“That’s up to you. Ryder says you have information for me.”
“I’m not sure if it’ll help… or if it even matters.”
“Let me decide that.”
“I told you that Lenny was in trouble with Calhoun.”
“Yeah?”
“Well there’s more. He has this book… like some ledger or somethin’. It has all of his transactions and shows where he’s been skimming off the top. If Calhoun knew, he’d be dead already. Lenny knows it, and he knows Calhoun has become suspicious.”
“So, how much money are we talking about?”
“Thousands and thousands. It started off with just a little, but he got greedy.”
“Any idea where this ledger is?”
“It’s in his car, hidden under the driver’s seat. You have to look for it, but it’s there. I’ve seen it myself.”
“Are you sure it’s still there?”
“I saw him put it there before we went to eat breakfast.”
“Go outside and wait in the black truck. There’s a cooler in the back. Get a drink and get inside. Stay put until Ryder comes out. Understood?”
“Understood.” As she started for the door, she turned to me and asked, “What about Lenny?”
“Get to the truck, Darla.”
As soon as she was gone, I left that room and headed over to Lenny. When I walked in, he was barely conscious. His face was even more swollen than I remembered, and he was struggling to breathe. A calmness settled over me as I walked over to Lenny and placed a black sack over his head. He groaned as I pulled him to his feet. He tried to resist as I tugged him out of the room, but his fight was futile. He was beaten and weak, barely able to walk, and the inability to see only made him more helpless. I continued to lead him forward until we entered another room, a room where his life would soon come to an end. Ryder came up behind Lenny and helped me secure him to the hook with his hands over his head. When I removed the sack, his swollen eyes widened as he looked around the room.
“What is this?” he gasped. Without answering, I walked over to the table full of tools and reached for a sledgehammer. As I headed back over to Lenny, he started to shake his head and pleaded, “Don’t! Just shoot me. Get this shit over with!”
“For ten years I’ve had to live with the fact that you not only killed my father, but you murdered Lainey and my daughter. I’ve had to live with that every minute of every day. Now, it’s your time to feel the pain I felt all those years.”
“It doesn’t have to be like this! I’ll give you anything you want.”
“You’re about to give me the only thing I’ve ever wanted from you. Your life in exchange for theirs.”
Three hours later, I took out my phone and took a picture of Lenny’s remains. Once I’d sent it to Ryder’s phone, I turned to him and said, “We need to clean up this mess, and then, you get Darla and get to Sacramento. I want that ledger and that picture in Calhoun’s hands by tomorrow night.”
“You got it, boss.”
After we’d taken care of Lenny’s body, Ryder got in the truck with Darla and headed towards California. Once they’d gone, I got in my car and started the engine. I sat there for a minute, letting the satisfaction of Lenny’s death wash over me. It was done. He’d finally paid for the hell he’d put me and my family through. I thought I’d feel differently, that I would find the peace I was looking for, but there was still a storm of emotions raging inside of me. I needed time to clear my head before I headed home. My mind was bombarded with thoughts as I pulled out onto the main road and started to drive. As I thought about everything that had happened, I realized that my life had been broken into two separate worlds— the one before Tristen and the one after. Since Lainey’s death, I hadn’t truly lived. I’d kept myself shut off from others, holding on to my pain and my thirst for revenge alone, but that was over. Tonight, I closed the door on the world before Tristen, and I was ready to take a chance on my future.
It was well after sunrise by the time I made it home. I just wanted to get in the bed next to Tristen and forget everything. I took a hot shower and slipped into the bed next to her. Thankfully she didn’t resist. Instead, she nestled her back against my chest, and as soon as I felt the warmth of her body next to mine, the tension I’d been carrying started to fade. I could feel myself drifting, knowing sleep was coming, but I fought it. I had her next to me, safe in my arms, and I didn’t want to wake up only to find that it had all been just a dream.