Shep

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I hated leaving her. I also knew opening my life up to a woman right how was fucking stupid. And dangerous as hell.

But there it was. I wanted JJ with me. I wanted to be with her. I needed to protect her.

And The Saints needed me focused. Without Bear at the table, we needed to do everything we could to fight off The Hawks. I shook off the memories of the night with JJ and put the club first.

We were meeting in Church. The Hawks were pressing us, and we needed to push back.

We sat around the table, but no one sat at the head of it. Bear’s chair was Bear’s chair and it would be until he got better.

If he got better.

“We’ve got over a dozen businesses who refused payment.”

Bo was updating us all on how bad and how fast we were losing trust.

“Jenny said it was a fucking crime wave last night,” Benz added to the tally of shit that was happening.

“Hawks are stepping in to make Port Az afraid of them and turning us into fucking eunuchs,” Kade said and he wasn’t wrong.

“Everyone who needed to get to the Lake House get there?”

I knew that Bear would be on top of that, too, making sure all the old ladies and kids were untouchable.

“Yes, and we’re having them check in at specific times just to be sure,” Deacon said. My name was Shephard, but Deacon really was a shepherd at heart. He kept his eye on this motley flock. When he said the old ladies were safe, I trusted him.

“Any word on E.Z.?” Maddox asked, voicing a question we all had. The man had fucked the club, he’d shot my Dad, and he’d gotten away with it so far.

“Nothing. We’re spread too thin. We can’t react to The Hawks spreading their wings in Port Az, protect the families, run the shipments, and still find E.Z. without taking some of the pieces off the board,” Axle outlined the realities of the situation.

“So, what’s our next move?” Chase asked the question, but we were all wondering it. I knew Bear would have had a plan. He’d survived a club war before. But Bear was fighting a different battle now. I thought I knew what Bear would do. So, I put it in front of the members.

“We shove this shit up their fucking asses. It’s time to stop reacting.”

I knew we needed to get them bloody and get blood on their hands in the process.

I saw a lot of nodding around the table. They were ready.

“We start tonight. One fucking Hawk at a time.”

The vote was unanimous. We decided to pull every single Saint we could. There were only a few roads leading into Port Az. Tonight there would be Saints on each one.

Bo, Axle, Maddox, and me were taking the highway. There was only one exit to Port Az off of Highway 77. We fanned out in crews of four men to do some damage to The Hawks if they tried to come into Port Az that night.

As the sun dropped out of view, a set of six bike headlights rounded the curve on 77 and headed off the exit. We were hiding, waiting, and we’d fuck their shit up.

It wasn’t a permanent solution to the situation, but we had to slow them down and stop the damn crime wave in Port Az. If the town lost trust in The Saints, all the things we tried to fend off, from dealers, to human trafficking would find ways in. Fear worked and The Hawks weren’t afraid of us, as they should be.

As the bikes slowed down on the ramp, we were poised to interfere. I had my hand up. We’d go on my say so. The bikes got closer. Something was off.

These weren’t locals. These weren’t even Texas. I kept my hand raised.

“Come on Shep, we need to move,” Maddox said.

“No, look, fucking A. Look.”

“What the?” Bo saw it too.

“It’s not Hawks. Those are Great Wolves!”

“What do we do?” Bo asked.

“We leave them. We start something with them, we’ve got a war with two clubs. Shit, we need to be sure the other crews stand down until we know what we’re dealing with here,” I said.

The Great Wolves MC had chapters all over the country, but not many in Texas. They were big in the Midwest and on both coasts. We’d never had a problem with them and honestly, they were making their money out of our way. And we did the same.

The Wolves rolled through and we stayed quiet.

And then we all got on the phones with the stand down order to every Saint that was on the road.

“What the fuck now?” I said, mostly to the air.

“From what I’ve heard, the Great Wolves aren’t into any of the shit The Hawks are into. But maybe this is a chapter looking to branch out.”

Bo was the most knowledgeable about other clubs, seeing as he’d been out of Port Az for much of his time as a Saint. He knew who was beefing with who and why thanks to his job as an enforcer for hire.

“We start a war with Hawks, backed by Wolves, we’re nine kinds of fucked,” Maddox said, and he was right.

“Let’s make a show in town, let people know we’re there,” Axle suggested, and it was all we could do to save the night.

We split into teams of two and rolled by Cups, Woody’s, The North Side. If there was trouble tonight it was hidden. Waiting. I’d been spoiling for blood. I wanted to punch a fucking Hawk or two. But the opportunity hadn’t presented itself.

Domino let us know that the crew of Great Wolves we saw seemed to be the only ones. It wasn’t a fucking invasion, yet. The Wolves drove to The Wayside, a shitty bar outside our territory and met with The Hawks there.

“Stay back, don’t engage, but keep me posted.”

Domino was spoiling for a fight, just like all of us but we waited.

The patrols continued and would all night, in shifts, but I had to peel off and make a stop. Mama Bear said it was time to visit.

Bear had been moved to a regular room, and he was “out of the woods”, Mama said. But she still hadn’t left his side.

I walked in, as quiet as I could, and found her dozing on a chair next to my Dad.

He saw me and put a finger to his lips.

“You wake your mother I kick your ass.”

That was my Dad. That was Bear.

“You look like shit.” I gave it right back to him. And then I leaned over and hugged him as carefully as I could.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that fucking E.Z. to kill me.”

“We’ll get that son of bitch.”

I was acutely aware that the man who shot my father was also out there somewhere.

“We got club business to talk about,” Bear said and that fast he went from my Dad to my Prez.

“Yeah, you allowed?”

“She’s asleep, we’ll do it quietly.”

“We saw a group of Great Wolves pass through town tonight.”

“Well, well, well, they all think we’re weak, swooping into Port Az to pick the bones?” My Dad had it nailed as usual.

“It looks like it. Nothing official, but shit, we nearly attacked the Wolves.”

“Try not to do that, son, that’s a can of whoop ass we don’t need.”

“Right.”

“It was one thing to be at odds with The Hawks, but if they have help, they could wipe us out of Port Az.”

“That’s why we stopped in our tracks, and why we needed you in on this, if you can manage it.”

“Based on this new information, I’ve got an idea.”

He may have been recovering from a bullet in the chest, but he was still the Prez and The Saints still needed him. I pulled a chair up close and listened.

My Dad and I strategized for a good long time before Mom busted us.

“Time’s up.”

I jumped a foot at her military Mom voice. She was up from her chair nap and pissed.

“Mama, sorry to wake you.”

I stood up and walked over to kiss her. She accepted it and then smacked me on the top of the head.

“No stress, no strategizing, your Dad’s barely out of ICU.”

“We were just peacefully exchanging recipes for the next family picnic. Simmer down, woman,” Bear said to his wife, who was now checking every one of his vital signs again.

“Yeah? Well, make sure no one lets Jenny make that potato salad she brought the last time. It was God awful. Now boy, get moving so your Dad can rest.”

Bear nodded to me. Between the two of us, we’d come up with a strategy that could work to give us the upper hand against the Hawks.

Or, it could send us all to prison or worse.

It was closing in on midnight when I rolled back to the MC. I saw JJ’s car in the lot and felt a weight lift off me.

I had never been attached to a woman, in any real sense. I fucked around, like we all did, taking what I liked and moving on. I also spent a fair amount of time giving shit to my brothers who were getting married and committing themselves to old ladies all around me.

I knew my path was different. I knew The Club had to be first.

I would protect my Dad and Mom’s legacy here and do everything in my power to be sure the MC was strong for decades to come. Too much went into building it for it to end in a war with the Hawks or because my Dad was down. That plan did not include an old lady. I didn’t even want it to.

But then there was JJ. She had already taken shit because she worked here. She’d handled a fucking berserk E.Z. and then the raid. She barely flinched with the ATF in her face. She was flinty tough.

I knew JJ thought her past was a problem, the fact that she had a record, but hell – I thought it made her more amazing. Though it bothered me that she had to do so much time for pot, much less pot that she was getting for a friend’s health. It made me angry. There was no one there to defend her. I’d wished I met her sooner, so I could have.

The MC needed to meet again. We’d all have things to report about the previous night. But before that, I needed to get her alone, for just a minute. I’d lived my entire life without JJ, and just that fast, shit wasn’t exactly right if she wasn’t in my sight. Or in my arms. As far as timing went, this was the fucking worst.

But it was what it was.

She was behind the bar, pouring for Kade and Zig. I put an arm on both.

“We meeting in a few?” Zig asked.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you back there in a minute.”

They both took a shot that JJ had poured.

“Shit, she knows her stuff,” Zig said.

“Don’t be too quick with that. She likes Shep,” Kade added.

“Ooh. Yeah. Listen JJ, you can do better. Find yourself a nice accountant,” Zig said.

“CPAs hang out here, do they?” JJ said, and she laughed with Zig and Kade. I had the irrational idea that punching them both in the mouth for talking to her was a plan. But she handled them both with ease. It reminded me of something. It was almost familiar, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Yeah, alright. Move along.”

I just wanted a few minutes with her.

“How’s your Dad?” She had a look of sincere concern, even though she’d barely met him.

“Better, a lot better. But we’re not going to broadcast that fact. It’s not a bad thing, The Hawks thinking we don’t have a leader right now.”

“I think it’s pretty clear you do,” JJ said and gave me a very pointed stare. I shook it off. She didn’t know enough about us to make that assessment.

“I need you to myself for a minute, come on.”

I took her hand in mind and led her to the storage room. She was like a magnet and I fused my lips to hers. It seemed like a fucking year since I’d left her that morning. I needed a hit of JJ.

Her body on mine was a drug. I could have ripped her clothes off right there, but I had to stop. I had club business. But still I kissed her.

“You don’t have time for this right now.”

She’d read my mind and leaned back. She was exactly right.

“I don’t. That’s true.”

I pulled back a little and just looked at her. That’s when I noticed something, a shadow on her jaw.

“What’s that?”

In the dim light I couldn’t be sure.

“Nothing.”

JJ pulled her dark hair around her chin and tried to blow me off.

“Nothing? It looks like a fucking bruise. What the fuck? What happened to you? Who did this?”

I was livid. I struggled not to scare her, but I was ready to kill.

“Hey, hey it’s not a big deal. I literally bashed it on my sink. Fell in the shower of my tiny bathroom.”

“This sounds like bullshit.”

“Trust me, no one fucks with me. I am hardened ex-con. With a klutzy streak. Seriously.”

I looked at the bruise again. I had no choice but to trust her. I really didn’t know her well enough not to. But every cell in my body sensed there was something wrong.

“If anyone messes with you, I will straight up kill them. You’re mine. You make sure the whoever the fuck knows it.”

“I’ll tell the sink to be nicer to me next time, seriously, Shep. Ask Machop, he saw me right after when he came by. I was icing it and embarrassed as hell.”

She leaned up and kissed me. I folded her in a hug.

“Fine,” I dropped the subject. I wondered if Machop was enough. As much as I wanted the town to know she was mine, I also knew that was the very thing that could put JJ in more danger. The phrase “it’s complicated” was invented for our current situation.

“You have Church again, and I have to make chili.”

“What?”

“Yeah, your Mom called. I took the call, and she said something about worrying that she had all these ingredients. Anyway. I’ve been instructed to go to the club kitchen with her recipe. Wish me luck.”

“I’m amazed my Mom would give anyone else the go-ahead to make her chili.”

“Well, she’s pretty busy, right?”

“Yeah, true. Just don’t leave the club, okay?”

I needed to worry about the plan Bear and I had come up with. I had too much in my head. I didn’t want to wonder where JJ was and whether she was safe.

“I imagine this chili takes a good long while to make.”

JJ kissed me on the mouth again and I literally had to put my hands in my pockets. I needed to get to work.