JJ

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I was in the kitchen of Shep’s little house. I had done my part. I knew every moment of what was going to go down. And I’d told it all to Uncle A.J. I had no idea what was going to happen. I only know I was the traitor. I was the informer.

And I’d had Mama Josie’s blessing. I didn’t know why but I trusted her, that I was doing the right thing. I was helping the club. She had something cooking; I just had to be patient.

I didn’t hear the door open and by the time I heard the footsteps it was too late. Shep had come up behind me and pinned me between the counter and his body.

He was in full riding gear. And I was standing there in one of his t-shirts. He lifted my hair and kissed my neck. Relief that he was back and he was okay mixed in with the incredible arousal of what I wanted, of how he made my body feel.

He reached in my panties and around and his fingers cupped me in the most intimate way. I gasped at the contact. And then I felt something cold and hard on the back of my neck. It was his fucking knife. He slid the blade between my hip and the string of my panties and cut them free. I nearly went over the edge at that moment. Next his knife was at the band of my t-shirt. With one swipe, he cut it from band to hem.

And then the knife dropped to the floor. The t-shirt was in shreds, barely covering me as I leaned onto the counter to stay upright.

Shep slid his hands around to the front where my breasts were only lightly covered by the now nearly gone shirt.

He tweaked my nipples hard and pulled my hips back so my ass was tight to his leather.

“Hold on,” he growled into my ear. I put both hands on the counter and did as he told me. I heard a zipper and then felt his knees shove my legs wider. Shep impaled me from behind and I was lifted off the kitchen floor. I didn’t mean to scream but the way it felt… he filled me too tightly. It almost hurt as I was lifted again.

“I want you like this, as much as I can get you. Naked. In every fucking room we have.”

I didn’t hear much after that. Shep took my body places I didn’t know I wanted to go.

When we finished in the kitchen, he carried me to his bathroom and I washed the blood off his face.

“This better be superficial or you’re going to have to explain it to your Mama.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Everything went the way you wanted?” I asked.

“Hawks stole the shipment,” Shep said.

“You seem calm about it.”

“There’s a lot more to it, but right now I just needed to get back to you. I was fucking relieved as hell that you were right here, looking like that, in our house.”

Our house. It was the second time he’d said it. But I couldn’t focus on that right now. The Hawks had stolen the drugs, which meant The Saints were out money and product. But maybe being here with me was the way Shep was dealing with it. I didn’t know. I did know I was relieved he was okay. That was all I could hold on to.

“I love you Shep,” I said to him and kissed him on the cut that had dried blood on it over his eye.

“More,” he said, and I kissed his jaw, his lips. I was still naked, and he was still wearing his cut. I decided it was time we evened that up a bit.

Then his phone rang.

“Yep. On the way.”

“Meeting already?”

“We got a lot to do, baby. Come with me, I want you in sight.”

“Well, if I can find clothes that you haven’t cut off me.”

“That was fun, I may do it again, so don’t wear anything expensive.”

“I don’t own anything expensive, so that’s not a problem.”

I grabbed a pair of jeans and another t-shirt. We walked up to the clubhouse where a lot of the MC was gathered.

They all looked a little banged up, but they weren’t as dejected as I expected them to be after having The Hawks steal the shipment out from under them. I guessed they were just more resilient than I’d given them credit. And when I thought about it, I’d never seen them panic before.

“When’s it going down?” Chase asked Shep and Shep shrugged. I had no idea what they meant, and I didn’t want to ask. I wanted my part of it, even the part with Mama Josie, to be over. I’d lied to Shep and it wasn’t a good feeling. I wondered again, intensely, should I have run? Should I still?

“I’m letting Benz handle that part, the less I know the better, I think.”

The door opened, and a man walked in that I’d never seen. He wasn’t a Saint and they all knew it. But they let him walk in. He was a Devil’s Hawk and he was in the midst of the MC. No one seemed to like it but they weren’t doing a damn thing to stop it.

“We get you out of here as soon as we hear from Benz,” Shep told the man. His patch said, “Hex”.

Two more bikers walked in. They weren’t Saints either, though they looked more like they could be. While Hex was scary and furtive, these two walked in with a confidence that no one would fuck with them.

I stood quietly behind the bar and read their patches: “Gunn” and “Hammer” from The Great Wolves MC. Shep greeted them like he would a Saint.

What the hell was happening?

“Should be just about done. Lead them right to where you recommended,” Hammer said. The man was handsome as fuck, and almost as tall as Shep.

“Hey, you might want to keep it quiet while she’s around.”

Hex looked at me and I felt the air leave me. What was happening? I had thought I’d known what the plan was. I thought I’d done what Mama Josie advised but things were quickly changing, and I felt the ground beneath me shifting.

“She’s not your concern,” Shep said and blocked Hex’s view of me.

“Uh, yeah she is. How do you know she’s not pulling the same thing as E.Z? I mean she’s fucking A.J. Moss’s niece and she’s here to fucking spy.”

Shep pushed Hex and Kade and Axle got in the middle of what was about to be a huge mess. A mess I had no defense for.

“What the fuck? You’re talking shit you don’t know about!”

“She calls him with your business. She can hear you. I heard Moss and his flunky Miles talk about it. She’s in what? The kitchen. She was sent here to listen. I’m not comfortable with her knowing I was here at all.”

Shep stood completely still. The entire club was quiet, and they were staring straight at me.

“Tell him you’re not A.J. Moss’s niece.”

Shep’s voice was low and as scary as I ever heard it. And his fury was now directed at me instead of at someone for me.

I was made, outed, cornered, and I had no smart answers. I should have run. That came into my head again.

“I can’t tell you that.”

“What the FUCK!” Shep was livid. That was the one clear thing.

“I trusted you and you’re just a gash working for the highest fucking bidder? IS that what you are?”

Each word felt like a smack in my face. Shep was beside himself, out of control, and I had done this. Kade and Axle pulled him farther and farther away from me.

“It wasn’t for money.”

My words were small and useless.

Deacon came behind the bar and stood in front of me.

“Get him out until he calms down.”

I had never seen Shep like this and I knew I’d done it. I knew it was tough for him to trust a woman; his mother had set a high standard. I saw that. And I had fallen as short as a woman could fall.

I didn’t even wonder where Mama Josie was or think to try to tell Shep that I tried to run but she stopped me. I didn’t have a chance to tell him that I was forced into all of this.

“You best get out of here until the dust settles a little.”

Deacon was calm; he was trying to help me. His words took a moment to register.

“Yes, yeah, thank you.”

“Can I help you, give you a place to…?”

“Thanks, no, I’m fine.”

I needed to get out immediately. If I was outed here with The Saints, what use did I have with my Uncle and The Hawks? Was I marked by both MCs?

I had no idea how it worked but I knew I needed to run. Like I tried to do before.

I ran to the house. Only a short time ago I’d been thinking it was a place I could get used to. Maybe even paint and stupid naïve shit like that.

I threw the few things I owned into a bag. I’d acquired very little in my time outside of the Pen, except a broken fucking heart.

I looked outside: no sign of Shep. He was probably moving from livid to hate. I didn’t want to stick around to hear his hurt. Once was enough. And I also didn’t know what my Uncle would do.

I decided that the car Shep loaned me would be the best option for getting out of there, as fast as I could.

I needed to get the hell out of Port Az. And I needed to do it fast.

I drove, tears streaming down my face, back to the bus station. At least I knew how much a ticket to Cali was. I wiped my tears and tried not to run the car off the road.

Just a gash…

That hurt more than any blow my Uncle would have Miles strike against me. And it would never heal. I knew that.