Love is not an emotion,
it is your very existence.
-Rumi
“So, how’s it going?” Prissy sets her soda down, staring at me intently.
I sip from my cherry vodka Sprite and roll my eyes. “It’s been a week and the best way I’d describe it is, awkward.”
“Still? I figured with some time it would get better or easier.”
“He’s a good dad, so I’m thankful for that. He’s fine with me for the most part, too, but he’s still pissed. I know it.”
“You did keep his kid from him.”
“Fuck, I know, okay. Jesus, I get it. I fucked up majorly, and now I’m paying for it by letting a biker control my life.”
“It could be a lot worse; at least Night wants you guys in his life.”
“Whose side are you on? You’re my best friend, but it’s sounding more and more like you’re taking his side.”
“I’m Switzerland, okay. I think you both screwed up, and you’re both having to learn how to fix it now. Look, I don’t agree with how he got you here. But, I am grateful that you are. I missed you. I feel like he’s brought my best friend back to me, and he does sorta earn points from me for doing it.”
“So, you are on his side.”
She huffs, pushing the soda away and drinks from her beer. “I’m always on your side first.”
“Mmmhmm.” I lean against the bar, watching the brothers around the room, chatting, laughing, and drinking. London asked if Maverick could have a happy meal and a playdate with her daughter. Of course, I agreed, so here I am, having my own playdate.
Some twat walks by Nightmare, running her hand over his chest, saying something in his ear. He shakes his head and moves her hand off.
I smirk, my gaze shooting to Prissy. “Who’s the hood rat?” I nod and she groans.
“Ugh, it’s Honey. She’s a club slut. She’s been after Nightmare and Viking since she first showed up. I already put her in her place with Vike. Looks like you need to do the same.”
“Why should I care? If he wants that, maybe he’ll forget about me.”
“Well, because that’s Nightmare, Bethany. Wake up, sweet cheeks. You may be pissed at him, but that’s your baby daddy. You don’t want some club whore sniffing around him, even if he does brush her off.”
“Seriously, he’s a big boy; he can tell her no. He’s never needed me to stand up for him, and he doesn’t now.”
“B, I’m telling you, don’t let it fester. It’ll drive you crazy to see her hit on him every single time you’re here at the same time he is. You guys have a fresh start; she’s just a dirty vagina trying to screw that chance up.”
I snort at her description and a few brothers glance at us. Blaze winks, and I grin. Finishing off my drink, I ponder over what Princess says. I know she’d never lead me astray; she always has my best interests at heart, so I take her words seriously.
“Ready then?” I smile mischievously, and her concern turns to a smirk full of trouble. She knows me too well.
“Always.”
Heading straight for Nightmare, I garner the brother’s attention as I pass by. Everyone’s curious to see what I’m going to tell Nightmare. I think they’re all wanting to witness some drama, and I’m about to give it to them.
Nightmare remains seated as I approach, tilting his head up to me. Bending before he can react, I place my hands on each of his cheeks and press my lips to his. He’s a moody fucker, so I know the women around here don’t have the balls to take control when it comes to him.
His palm warms my thigh as it pulls me closer, and the kiss turns from me showing off to something full of lust. Breaking free after a moment, I pant against his lips, wet from my own mouth sucking on them. “Wow,” I whisper and blink, remembering my initial purpose. Backing away, I nearly misstep from the kiss that put me in a daze, quickly righting myself.
Honey glares, and I can’t help but smirk. At Honey’s huff, I pull my arm back and punch her right in her eye. She stumbles backward, clutching her face as a scream of pain breaks free.
“Mine.” I declare sternly, turning on my heel and making my way back to my spot next to a giggling Princess. Viking appears impressed, and Nightmare, completely shocked. The other guy’s chuckle, amused at my antics, and Odin helps the whore to the bathroom.
“Better?” I mutter and finish off my mixed drink.
“Hell yeah, glad to see you’re still the crazy woman I love.”
“Shit, baby girl, you just opened up a whole new can of complicated.” Blaze shakes his head, in his usual place behind the bar.
“Damn, I thought that’s how bikers communicated? Don’t you beat on your chests and punch people?”
He snickers. “You’re trouble, you know that?”
“I may have been called that a few times in the past.”
Princess leans over “Uh, no, she’s crazy, Blaze; don’t get it twisted. She always has been, and that right there proves she’s still the same wild woman I grew up with.”
“Hey, I’ve toned it down a lot, thank you very much.”
“Maybe around your kid, but not when it’s you and me. No way sister, I see you trying to break free. The good news, B, is that these guys here are even crazier. You fit in here like a lost puzzle piece, just you wait and see.”
“If you say so,” I sigh.
I haven’t really fit in anywhere, ever. I became the crazy party girl prior to getting pregnant, so I could drown out my lack of everything and not care about anything else. That’s why Princess and I became so close; she was different like me, her family belonging to a biker club and all.
“Another one?” Blaze grabs my empty glass, and I nod.
Why not? Maverick does have two parents now. I think I’ve earned that extra drink.
“Fuck was that?” Viking grumbles after Bethany walks off. He’s attempting to act serious when I know he’s most likely busting up inside over this.
Personally, I’m still shaken from her pulling that shit. “No idea, brother.”
“Chick’s a goddamn fruit loop.” He downs his whiskey. “Can’t believe she just claimed your ass in the middle of the clubhouse, too.”
Saint laughs beside me, and I growl, thinking about punching him next. No way was she layin’ claim. “That was a fuckin’ tantrum, that’s it. Bitch was showing off for Princess. Anybody claims anyone; it’ll be me fucking her until she can’t run that damn mouth of hers.”
“Trouble in paradise?” he asks, and I glare. He’s the only fucker in this place, besides Ex, who has enough guts to give me shit, especially about Bethany.
“She’s driving me crazy,” I finally admit.
“Crazy is how I’d describe her.” He nods, and I grunt.
“She stares at me all innocent and shit at the house. Just wanna bend her over and spank her ass.”
“Maybe you should. It’d bypass this bullshit y’all are going through right now. I had to just say fuck it with Princess and make her mine so she’d quit fuckin’ around.”
And none of us will ever forget it, either. One of the hottest things I’ve ever seen; not to mention, I had B on my cock right after that went down. Shrugging, I tip my longneck back and finish off the beer.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do about her yet. I’m still pissed inside and want her ass walking on eggshells a while longer, but I’m not sure how much more I can take. This last week she’s slept right down the hall from me, and I’ve held her twice. Her and those fucking dreams, they screw her up in the middle of the night, bad.
Crazy thing is, once I hold her, she sleeps like the dead. I can move around, shower, get dressed, whatever, and nothing wakes her. When she’s by herself, she tosses and turns, cries out, you name it. I know because I like to watch her sleep. I witness it every night.
I can’t believe she just came over here and pulled that on Honey and me. I have to give Bethany some credit; she completely surprised everyone with that one.
“Your band have a gig this weekend?” Chaos pipes up. He’s pretty quiet; one of the reasons why I don’t mind him.
“Yeah, out at Shorty’s.”
“Bet, I’ll head over with you. Friday or Saturday?”
“Both.”
He nods. “You should get some pussy, take your mind off her.” He gestures in Bethany’s direction. While that would’ve sounded good before, it does nothing for me now. The only pussy I want riding my dick belongs to that hotheaded chick that just laid one hell of a kiss on my mouth.
“She smells another bitch on you, you may not wake up in the morning.” Viking chuckles, and I grin. It’s probably true though. Good thing I won’t have to worry about that.
“Fucked up.” I shake my head.
“How ‘bout I tell Odin to babysit. Me and Princess could ride up, you could show B?”
“Not sure she’d like that sort of thing.”
Chaos sighs. “Bullshit. Chicks are all over your cock once they see you play.”
He has a point; it could win her over a little. I can keep fucking with her here and there and then really hook her. This time when she falls for me, I plan to make sure she never goes anywhere.
“Why you single, Chaos?”
He shrugs. “I had a woman when I first started playing football. She gave me my daughter then split. That was enough for me.”
That’s right. His daughter visits on her college breaks sometimes. “You haven’t been on a run to Alabama in a whole minute. Your kid okay?” That’s also how he met our moonshine contact. The stuff here at the club is the real deal—homemade and everything.
“She moved up north with her boyfriend.”
“No shit?”
He nods. “He went to play for the Patriots.”
“Holy fuck, brother; that’s awesome.”
“As long as she finishes her degree, I won’t kill him,” he admits, and we all chuckle. Makes me glad I have a son. Not sure I could handle having a daughter.
I get home after Bethany does, and there’s dinner already made and waiting for me. I’d never admit it to my brothers, but I love every bit of having her here. I don’t know why I want to torment her so badly. My guess is, I’m still hurt. I hate that bullshit. Makes me feel weak, like a chick worried about feelings and shit.
It’s true, though. Finding out I had a kid and knew nothing about it, fucked me up inside. I was already screwed up, but this is different. It makes me think that she believes I’m not good enough to be Maverick’s father.
However, I will be a good dad to him; I’ll make sure of it. I may not be a good person or even a decent man, but I won’t let myself fail at being his father. I had enough of that growing up; I won’t torment my own kid with that kind of life.
Trekking down the hall, I peek in and check on Mav. He’s knocked out, with his feet up on his pillows. Kid sleeps like a wild animal in every direction besides the normal one. It’s all good; his mom and I both march to the beat of our own drum, too. Fuck the standards.
Next, I check on Bethany. Cracking her door open a little more, I peek in. Her sleepy eyes meet mine, a tired smile on her lips.
“Thanks for dinner.”
“Of course.” She yawns, snuggling into her covers more.
“I have a gig this weekend. I’d like you there.”
“Okay.”
“Viking and Princess are coming.”
“Oh cool.”
“Night,” I grumble.
“Good night.” She sighs, her eyes closing. I can’t help but pause and stare for a few seconds before leaving her doorway.
Peeling my clothes off, I leave them on my bedroom floor in my wake. I lie flat on my own bed; it’s a California King since I’m six feet four. Regular beds don’t work too well for me.
My eyes close and I see Bethany’s smirk as she punches Honey. I didn’t say it outright, but it was hot as fuck. If she had really been claiming me, I’d have her in my bed right now, rewarding her with my face between those thighs.
When she kissed me, I had to touch them. Every time she puts on a pair of shorts, I want to run my hands up the backs and give them a good smack, leaving a pink handprint behind. Fuck, the things I’d do to her body.
Groaning, my hand finds my semihard cock and I give a few rough pumps. It hardens quickly, precum spilling from the top as I pretend it’s her doing it.
“Ummm…Night?” Her voice breaks my thoughts, and my eyes pop open, landing on her flushed cheeks.
“Yeah?” It’s gruff, but fuck, five more minutes and I would’ve been spilling all over myself.
“Can I lay with you?” It’s so soft and innocent, I could break down a door with how hard it makes my dick.
“Yeah, come ‘ere dollface,” I reply and let her scoot under the covers, coming to lie on my chest.
It’s going to be one hell of a long night for me. I should just fuck her right here, right now. But I won’t. I’m going to let her fall for me before I claim her and finally make her mine.