Chapter 19
“That was amazing,” Kate said when they pulled the camper back into the lot in Chicago. She hadn't ever stopped to think about exactly how weird it was that there was a spot for a camper in the middle of the city, but as they drove by Soldier Field she realized that it made perfect sense. Bears fans were nothing if not dedicated. They came in by the bus loads and some from hundreds of miles away. They needed a place to park clearly. “Thank you for kidnapping me. I needed some time away from the city.”
“Anytime.”
“Traveling anytime you want... you're lucky.”
“Job perk,” he said.
“It's a good one,” she told him. “I wish I had more flexibility.”
“You could,” he said as they made their way into the kitchen. Kate took a seat at the small table, Deacon across from her.
She laughed. That was impossible.
“Hear me out,” he said with a serious look. He reached for her hands. “You can be a lawyer from anywhere.”
“Not really,” she said. Her hands tensed underneath of his. This was a serious conversation. One she wasn't sure she was ready for. “If I don't show up at the office I'm pretty sure they will fire me.” Her thoughts about having it all figured out were flying out the window with each sentence he spoke.
“Not if you don't work for them.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, placing her stylus down and giving him her full attention. Was he actually suggesting that she just walk away from her career? That she give up her lease and apartment that she'd worked her ass off for? Relent her job security to be a gypsy like him? He'd lost his mind as far as she could tell.
“Have you ever thought about being your own boss? You know, taking cases that you really want? You don't have to be at a firm to be a lawyer, just like I don't have to be at a firm to do what I do.”
“I can't just up and leave,” Kate told him. “I'm going to make partner soon,” she reminded him of what her boss had told her.
“And then what?” he asked. “More sixty, maybe even eighty hour, weeks? For what, Kate? A bigger office and bigger apartment?”
“Not just that, I'll get to pick my own cases then.”
“You can pick your own cases now.”
“What is all of this about?” she was confused. “Things have been going great between us. I gave you my weekend. I haven't been working as late. You're the one that brought up work today, not me. What more do you want from me?”
“I don't just want all your weekends,” he said, standing from the booth. He sighed before turning back to face her. “I want you all of the time. Maybe that's completely selfish, but...”
“It is,” she interjected. He was asking her to give up a lot and clearly not feeling bad about it.
“I don't care,” he said. “I love you.”
“I...” she wasn't sure how to respond.
“I mean it. I love you,” he reiterated his point, but Kate still found herself unable to speak.
She wanted to keep arguing, but when the L-bomb is dropped it's a little hard to focus on anything else. On one hand, she wanted to tell him that she felt the same, but on the other it was too soon for such heavy declarations.
Love wasn't a word that she threw around lightly, and judging by the conviction in his eyes he didn't either.
“I know it's a lot,” he said, as he knelt down by where she was sitting and took her hands in his. “But, I've got to leave soon,” he told her. “I want you to come with me.”
“To where?”
“East coast,” he answered. “Boston, New York, down to South Carolina.”
“I can't take that much time off and you know it,” she was starting to get angry. “I can't just give up everything I worked for and follow you around the country?”
“I'm not asking you to,” he replied. “I'm just asking you to consider changing the direction of your career a little.” His eyes said he was being genuine and Kate knew it in her heart that he was. “I'm not saying just be some kept woman. You said it yourself you were happier when you were taking cases like the parole hearing and Vanessa's, right?”
She nodded.
“You can still take those cases. The courtrooms are only a plane ride away,” he explained. “And we can spend the majority of the year in Chicago if that's what you want. It's all negotiable, remember?” Of course she remembered. They'd just had the conversation yesterday. It was hypothetical then. It was the actuality of this one that she was having a hard time with.
“You've just got it all figured out, don't you?”
“I don't,” he said. “But I know the last few weeks with you have been amazing and I'm not ready to let go of you. I want to plan a future with you,” he added, really throwing her for a loop. The only future she'd been able to see for so long was in career.
“What kind of future can we have if we're bouncing around the country?” she asked.
“Any kind we want,” he answered with a smile making it seem like the sky was the limit for them. Her heart was simultaneously warming and breaking. She knew deep down she loved him, but giving up the one thing that had been a constant in her life was scary.
“This is a lot to think about, Deacon,” she said, scooting over on her side of the bench and motioning for him to join her.
“Please just promise me you'll think about it,” he asked as he sat next to her. When she nodded that she would he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back, resting her head on his shoulder and knew that being able to let go of him might just be the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.