Chapter 9
“Why are you in your office and not wrapped around that fine piece of man you left the bar with last night?” Willa asked when she barged into Kate's office demanding a play-by-play of the night's activities. “Please don't tell me that you panicked and kicked rocks.”
“Not exactly,” Kate said, closing the folder in front of her. As soon as Deacon had left she'd drove straight to her office and started working. It was what she did to forget about him. Or at least try to forget. “It happened,” she said. “A couple times,” she added, feeling her mouth spread to a smile.
Willa let out a “woo” as she took a seat across from Kate and sat a bag from a local deli down the counter.
“Good thing I brought you some food,” she said. “You probably spent all your energy, huh?” Willa waggled her eyebrows causing Kate to chuckle.
“It was pretty great,” she answered. “Exactly what I needed to get my mind focused on all of this.” She motioned to all the paperwork on her desk.
“Acca-scuse me,” Willa said. Between Willa and Hope, Kate got her fair share of movie and music quotes. This one she actually knew because they'd dragged her to not one, but two of the popular acapella group movies. “I know I didn't really get a chance to talk to him, but that man did not look like a one and done kinda guy. Did he seriously bail after?”
“Not him,” Kate said, pulling a sandwich from the bag. It smelled delicious. She was starving. She'd been so worried about getting away from Deacon that morning that she hadn't even bothered to eat. “I don't have time for a boyfriend,” she said, when Willa gave her a knowing look.
“Don't have or won't make?” Willa countered
“Don't have... or maybe both,” she said. “I don't know. I don't have a guy in the plan right now, Will.”
“Your plan is bullshit.”
“Come on,” Kate said. “That's not fair. You know how much time I've put into making partner. I can't get sidetracked and Deacon Yates is a surefire distraction.” She took a bite from her sandwich. “This is good.”
“I know it's good,” Willa said. “I know you, remember? I know what sandwiches you like and I know when you're lying to yourself.”
“I'm not lying to anybody.”
“Remember that smile that spread across your face not two minutes ago?” Willa asked and answered. “That was a smile that said you like him.”
“So what if I like him? I work sixty hours a week. When do I have time to see him again?”
“Make time,” Willa said finitely.
“I—”
“I nothing. Make time,” Willa interjected. “Wasn't that the whole purpose of your letter?”
The letter. She'd tried not to think about it. It had been Hope's final wish for her to live her life, but at the moment she didn't have time for much more living than she'd already done. Her one night with Deacon would have to be enough.
“What about your letter?” Kate said, desperate to change the subject. “You never did tell us what it said.”
“There's not much to tell,” Willa said, her shoulders falling as she sighed. “It was a big fat to be determined.”
“What do you mean?”
“All it said was how much she loved me and that she had something more planned for me, but that the time wasn't quite right. Super disappointing. I'd yell at her if she was here.”
“Huh,” was all Kate could offer up. Hope had never been short on words, so surely whatever she had planned for Willa was worth the wait. “I'm sure that your next letter will have more.” Kate shrugged, trying to be comforting. “What did you want it to say?”
“I don't know,” Willa confessed. “Something more than I love you. After hearing what yours said I got kind of jealous.”
“Don't be,” she said. “All it left me with was confusion.”
“Confusion because you're hung up on the guy you kicked out of your bed?” Willa asked. When Kate didn't respond with anything but a smile and shake of her head, Willa slapped the top of the desk. “I knew it! You really like him.”
“Like who?” Vanessa said startling both of them. She'd come into Kate's office as quiet as a mouse, but the expression on her face spoke much louder. She'd been crying and judging from the quiver of her chin it was about to start again.
“What's the matter?” Kate said, quickly getting up to help Willa usher Vanessa to the other chair in front of her desk.
“What did he do?” Willa asked immediately assuming that Chris was to blame for this. She wasn't wrong. Vanessa's tears were tears of love gone wrong and her friends could tell. Willa wrapped an arm around her shoulders, while Kate took her hand in hers.
“Nothing,” Vanessa said. “Everything.” Kate handed Vanessa a tissue. After she wiped her eyes and nose, she started talking.
“You can tell us, honey,” Willa said, trying to stop Vanessa's tears. “We're here for you.”
Kate was just about to second the sentiment, when Vanessa spoke up. “I think I want to get a divorce.”
Willa and Kate simultaneously dropped their jaws. They looked at one another—the unspoken cheers bouncing between them before they turned back to Vanessa.
“Think or know?” Kate asked.
“I don't know,” Vanessa answered. “Hope thinks I should,” she said, pulling her letter from her purse. “That's what my letter said anyway.”
“It did?” Willa asked. Vanessa handed it over and she quickly pulled it from the envelope. After a few seconds Willa looked to Kate and nodded.
“Why would she do that?” Vanessa said, her tone turning a bit more towards anger than sadness. “Why would she even put that out into the universe. It was like I read it and then all of the sudden I could see everything so clearly. He's never around. He's constantly shooting orders at me like I'm his maid and every time I try to talk to him about it he shuts me out even more.”
“I think she just wants you to be happy,” Willa said, looking down at the letter. “You're too sweet and too kind to spend your life with someone who doesn't appreciate it,” she read.
“We all want you to be happy, Ness,” Kate said, taking her friends hand. Willa and Kate exchanged looks and as much as Kate wanted to tell Vanessa exactly what they all thought about Chris she hated that Hope had forced this conversation.
“I am happy,” Vanessa argued. “I have a husband, a great house, great friends. My life is good.”
“Then why are you crying?” Kate replied.
“And why did everything have the word great before it except husband?” Willa added.
“He's not a bad guy,” Vanessa said. “Things are just... not what I expected when I said I do. He's not a bad guy.”
“He's not a great one either,” Willa said under her breath. Vanessa heard it, but didn't argue.
“So Hope said you should get a divorce,” Kate said. “That doesn't mean that you have to do it. Maybe you can try talking to Chris,” Kate suggested. “Or counseling.” She squeezed Vanessa hand in hers. “You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, just because Hope said it.”
“Unless you want to,” Willa countered making it very clear which way she was leaning. “I'm sorry,” Willa said. “I know I need to think before I speak, but if I'm being honest, I've never really understood what you see in him.”
Kate could have agreed, but she could tell by Vanessa's face that it was already too much. No sense in piling on.
Vanessa sat for a moment looking to her two best friends for something that would give her an answer. She sighed and new tears started to fall.
“Maybe you really need to ask yourself if you're happy,” Willa said. “Like truly, madly, deeply in love happy.”
“I think all Hope was doing was trying to get you to take a look at your situation and ask yourself if you really want to spend the next fifty years this way,” Kate said.
“How's that working out for you?” Vanessa asked, her tone a bit more aggressive than Kate or Willa had ever heard. “Because judging by the conversation I walked in on you aren't too sure about what you want to do either.”
“Fair enough,” Kate said, taking a seat on her desk. Vanessa had every right to be angry. Just like Kate had every right to be. So far all Hope's letters had done is put wrenches in two of her friends lives and left the other one feeling left out.
“I'm sorry,” Vanessa said.
“Don't be,” Kate said. “You're right. I don't have room to talk. I kicked a great guy out of my apartment this morning and went right back to what I know and do best because the unknown scares the living shit out of me.”
“Me too,” Vanessa agreed.
“Well now I'm just dreading a second letter,” Willa said. “Maybe I won't open it.”
“Maybe none of us should have,” Kate added.
* * *
Kate and Vanessa both agreed to take a couple days and mull over their current situations. Kate had thought for sure that a few days of her normal routine would shake her one night stand with Deacon from her mind. Unfortunately, she could still feel his hands on her skin. She remembered what the weight of his body felt like on hers. Even more unnerving, she wanted to know more about him. She wanted to ask him more questions and find out if their connection was more than a fluke.
So she called him.
“Deacon,” she said when his deep voice answered his phone. “It's Kate.”
“Who?” he said, catching her by surprise.
“Kate Beckett,” she said feeling the bite in her tone as it came off her lips. She must have read far more into their night then it meant if he didn't even remember her. “From the other night.”
“I knew who it was,” he said with a chuckle, giving her relief. “I'm just surprised that Kate Beckett had enough time call me. She's so busy and all...” His laughter was telling and Kate knew that he was messing with her. Of course he remembered her. She was an unforgettable kind of girl.
“Well, I had some free time open up and I might be open to that second date you were offering.”
“Let me check my schedule,” he said, pausing briefly. “Looks like you're in luck... I'm wide open. Did you have something in mind?”
She didn't. She hadn't thought past her call. She felt unprepared and she hated it.
“Relax,” he said. “What if I plan this one?”
“That sounds good,” she said, smiling at the fact that he could tell she was anxious even on the phone. For not knowing each other very well, she appreciated the fact that he had a good read on her. She just hoped her read on him was as sure. She really hoped she wasn't wasting her time or his.
“How about I cook you dinner,” he suggested. “Friday at six?”
“Make it seven and I'm all yours,” she said, knowing that her Fridays in the office never ended before six.
“I'm counting on it,” he said, causing her to grin into the phone. “I'll text you my address.”
“Okay.”
“And Katie,” he said before hanging up. “I'm really glad you called.”
“Me too,” she said, hopeful that she wasn't putting herself up for failure.
Kate sat her phone on her desk feeling downright giddy about her upcoming date. Looking at her pile of work, if she worked late the rest of the week, she'd be able to spend Friday night not thinking about all she had to do. Maybe she could have time for a personal and professional life. When her phone rang, she picked it up hoping that Deacon had thought of some other charming phrase to use on her, but the caller ID said it was Vanessa.
“Hi,” Kate answered. “You're never going to guess what I just did.”
“Hopefully started on a draft of my divorce decree,” Vanessa responded her voice sullied by the current situation.
“You're going to do it?”
“I think so,” she said. “I tried to talk to Chris about everything last night. He wasn't very convincing for me to stay.”
“What did he say?”
“I asked him if he was happy, like truly happy,” she told her. “And, he said “sure” and rushed out the door for a meeting. Then he came home way later than normal and I'm pretty sure he was drunk so I didn't bring it up again until this morning.” She sighed. “Then he was just a jerk. Telling me that he didn't have time to listen to me whine about nonsense.”
“I'm sorry, Ness,” Kate said. “I know that you think Willa and I aren't rooting for you and Chris, but we never wanted this. We just wanted him to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”
“I know,” Vanessa said. “Me too.” Kate was happy to hear her friend say that.
“Listen,” Kate said. “I'll gladly help you with your case, but you need to be prepared. It's not just a sign it and it's done situation, Ness. If you're really serious you need to get some things lined up.”
“Like what?”
“For starters you need a place to stay,” she started. “And you're welcome at my place or Will's, I'm sure. And, you really need to start thinking about what you want out of this. The house. The car. How much you want in maintenance.”
“Maintenance?”
“Yes maintenance,” Kate said. “For the past four years you've supported your husband while he works. And didn't you say a long time ago that he didn't want you to work.”
“Yes, but I can get a job.”
“Yeah, but maybe not right away. Do you know what the job market's like right now? It's tough. And, you're entitled to your share of what you've earned as a married couple while you get back on your feet.”
“He's not going to like that.”
“That's his problem,” Kate said. “Maybe he should have thought about being a better husband.”
“True.” Vanessa sniffled and Kate knew she was crying.
“Just take your time and think it over,” Kate told her. “If you want to come and stay at my place you can. You have a key.”
“Okay,” she answered softly.
“Let me know if you need anything and as soon as you're really ready I'll get started on the paperwork.”
“I'm ready,” Vanessa said. “I don't want to live like this for one more second.”