Chapter 23
Deacon woke up with Kate in his arms and wished like hell that neither of them had to climb out of that bed. But, as soon as her alarm clock sounded, she kissed his cheek and set off to get herself ready for work. He dressed and made them coffee while she was rushing around her apartment.
“What time are you leaving?” she asked as she blindly put on a pair earrings.
“I'm not sure,” he told her. “I'd like to get out of Chicago before rush hour, so maybe two o'clock.”
“Two o'clock,” she said under her breath before taking a drink of coffee from the mug he'd poured her.
“Can we meet for lunch?” he asked, hoping to squeeze in at least one more hour with her.
“Umm...” she opened her phone and looked through her calendar. “I don't think so,” she answered. “I have a meeting with Chapman at eleven,” she told him. “It could take a while.”
“It's okay. I figured as much.” He hadn't meant for it to sound cold, but her expression said it was.
“I'm sorry,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. “If I get a chance I'll come by before you go.”
“Okay.”
“If I don't make it, I'll call you as soon as I'm done at work,” she said. “We can talk while you're driving.”
“All the way to Boston?”
“All the way to Boston,” she agreed. He kissed her until she had to leave. It wasn't nearly long enough. He doubted that there was an amount of time that he could put on what would be.
“I love you,” he said, giving her one last hug before he had to let her go.
“I love you too,” she said with a smile. “And, I'll see you soon,” she reminded. “We'll make this work.”
He nodded and watched her walk out the door. His heart aching, but not breaking because for the first time since he'd been with her he knew she wasn't walking away from him anymore. They might be getting ready to spend time away from one another, but the way she was looking at him and the way he felt about her, he knew that they were in this together. For the long haul.
* * *
Kate had texted Greyson the night before and asked if he had time to grab coffee on Tuesday. She'd wanted to talk to him since the night of the barbeque, but her schedule had been a little hectic. After her impromptu trip to visit Hope, she knew she needed to talk to him. She was relieved when he said he could meet her at JavaMax. If she was being honest with herself, she needed to talk to someone other than her girlfriends about Deacon. He'd been gone for a little over a week and every day was getting harder and harder to be without him. Maybe Greyson could give her a pep talk and reassure her that this whole thing was going to work out.
“Hi,” Greyson said when she walked into the coffee shop. He greeted her with a hug. “Mocha Lite,” he said, picking up a cup from the table and handing it to her. “That's none of the good stuff, right?”
“Thank you,” she said, taking the cup from his hand. She took a drink. “That's it. None of the good stuff.” The heat of the caffeine and chocolate was a welcomed feeling. Of course it would have been better loaded with whip cream and whole fat milk. Just another thing Kate denied herself. “So,” she said as they both sat down in the stool surrounding the small high-top table. “How are you?”
“Today or in general?” he asked, almost as if he was expecting this conversation.
“Both,” she answered.
“I'm fine, Kate,” he said.
“Really?” Kate paused. “Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about? About Hope?”
“What is there to say?” he replied. “She's gone. I'm sad. I miss her every single day. And, there's not a goddamn thing I can do about.”
“I guess that's true,” Kate said, feeling like a jerk for bringing it up, but that's what she came for. She came to make sure that he was actually all right.
“I know you're just being a good friend,” he told her. “I just don't know if actually talking about it is the best thing. You want to see a grown man cry in public? Because when I talk about her not being here that's what I feel like doing.” He dropped his head. “I'm trying to keep up a brave face in front of the kids. It's hard and as much as I want to just be alone and grieve, it's not really possible, you know?”
“I'm sorry,” Kate told him. She placed her hand on his.
“I'm doing okay though,” he told her. “I've been working out more and spending what little time I have alone working through it. I promise.”
“I just don't want you to think you can't talk about it with me. Or Willa. Or Vanessa.” He looked up on Vanessa's name.
“Did she ask you to talk to me?”
“Maybe...” Kate said out of the corner of her mouth.
“I know she's worried, but really I'm doing okay. The best I can anyway.”
“Then that's what I'll tell her,” Kate assured him.
“And if I do need to talk to someone, I will,” he said. “I swear.”
“Okay.”
“Now that we've got that cleared up,” he told her. “How are you?” He smiled. “I know I'm not the only one who likes to keep things to their self.”
Kate cringed.
“How are things going with Deacon gone?”
“Fine,” Kate answered with a frustrated huff.. “Amazing, actually.” She paused. “We talk all the time and the text messages are constant, but it's hard. And he's only been gone a week.”
“He'll be back before you know it.” He tried to be supportive, just how Willa and Vanessa had been.
“Can I ask you a question about Hope?”
“Of course.”
“How did you know she was the one?”
“It's going that amazing, huh?” He chuckled. “Well, I just did. It just felt right. I just remember looking at her one day and realizing that I couldn't live without her.” He paused, his eyes going wide at the blatant realization that he was living without her now. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I just knew. I'm sure there's a way more poetic answer, but sometimes you just love someone, you know?”
“I do.” She knew the feeling he was talking about. At least she thought that's what she felt. “He asked me to go on the road with him,” she told him. “To quit the firm,” she added.
“Really?” Greyson said. “But you didn't,” he pointed out the obvious.
“I didn't,” she said with a sigh. “And now I'm wondering if I made a huge mistake. Because I was scared.”
“Love is scary.” Greyson smiled. “It's all a chance if you think about it. We never know what’s going to happen. I took a chance marrying Hope, and it may not have turned out the way we'd all hoped, but I don't regret it. Every single moment I got to spend with her was worth all of it. Every time I look at Beau and Marli, I realize how lucky I was to have her in my life.”
“So you're saying it's all worth the risk?”
“Definitely.”