***

“You do realise they're up to something,” Mack teased, as he sat beside Levi at the table on the decking.

His new boyfriend grinned and took a sip of beer, while Cormag looked to the other end of the table, where Casen, Lachlan and Darren were huddled around Lachlan's phone as he typed furiously.

“Yeah, but the question is...how much trouble is it going to get you into?” Levi agreed, eyeing their better halves with amusement.

Tam, Cormag and Giovanni were quietly enjoying their beers and watching the way the waves crashed against the sand, creating the most beautiful, calming sounds. Not one of them appeared concerned.

Mack couldn't blame them for being distracted, but his mind was abuzz with thoughts and evaluating his companions. He barely knew half the people here and the other half weren't exactly on the best of terms. But he supposed that was the point of being here.

“It's good to see them so happy,” Tam commented, completely ignoring the teasing. “To see that they're settling down. I know Konnor's waited a long time for this. This is all he's wanted for years.”

Cormag nodded, apparently knowing that already. Mack had to admit that he had no clue; Casen had probably mentioned it, but he hadn't exactly been paying attention to every word out of his mouth for the past few months. Casen was far too excited about seeing Lachlan and Darren together, as it was the first time Darren would be meeting both of them, after buggering off to Italy to live.

“I haven't told Lachlan yet, but Grayson called and checked that it was the right time,” Cormag admitted, out of nowhere. He smiled as he took a sip of beer. “He was worried that asking before his recovery homework was complete – confronting the past and all that – would only hold him back from going through with his recovery,” he explained, only to turn to Giovanni and nod to him in some sort of recognition. “Darren helped me give him the right advice. Lachlan told us how you both managed to find a balance and refused to let recovery get in the way of life.”

There was fondness in his voice that surprised Mack. He didn't know much about Darren and Giovanni's relationship, but he did hear enough whispers from Casen to form an assumption. That they were both in therapy, both struggling with past issues and that they'd never really reach a 'cure' or 'end' to their therapy. Konnor, on the other hand, was reaching that end point.

Giovanni ducked his head and glanced in Mack's direction; the look was a little tentative, but also curious. “You two did the same thing. You kept your distance from each other to give Tam time to heal and recover,” he admitted, explaining the awkwardness, since he was talking about a guy he'd once beaten the shit out of. “Casen told me how hard you've been finding it to stay away from each other and how difficult you found it to actually get together, in the end. He didn't want Konnor and Grayson to wait any longer.”

Mack spared a glimpse in Levi's direction, to see what he thought about that. He didn't look pleased, but Mack didn't know what to say either.

Giovanni was right. Or, rather, his own twin brat of a brother was right. They'd kept their distance and it had made it more difficult to actually admit how they felt. Personally, he'd been afraid of ruining their solid friendship and making his feelings seem trivial or sudden, because of all the years they'd been close friends. He imagined that Levi had held the same fears.

“I guess we did do that, didn't we?” Levi commented, sounding casual and relaxed, as he lazed in his seat and sipped from his beer. If Mack didn't know him so well, he'd think Levi thought nothing of the conversation; except his entire body language said he was on edge and waiting for someone to make a big deal of it.

“Don't worry.” Tam laughed and leaned forward to grab a bread stick from the pot in the centre of the table, left over from their barbecue feast. “It took me ages to give in to Casen. Konnor and Grayson took forever, and we all had our issues to keep us from making that first move. Even Gio and Darren put things off for a while,” he explained, as though there was a need to make them feel less guilty about their procrastination.

Mack did feel better, but he was still a little unsure about the way Levi was taking this whole thing. It felt much more like an intervention within their brand new relationship than a reunion to help Konnor finalise his therapy.

“Um, I'm going to go for a walk along the beach, before the weather gets worse,” Mack decided, needing a few minutes away from the scrutiny to get his head together. He had to figure out how to tackle Levi and this conversation together, because he was sure that it would come up the minute they were alone in their room tonight.

Getting up, he offered a quick smile to the table, then skipped down the steps to the beach and began a slow walk along the sand.

Did he want to confront Levi about his frosty attitude, even when it wasn't obvious to anyone else? Or did he decide not to mention it and wait for Levi to bring it up?

This was the problem with relationships; the entire reason he didn't have them and why he avoided them like the plague. He didn't want to have to second guess his natural instincts, just to cater to the emotions and attitudes of someone else. But, Levi had already made it clear that he often needed that little bit more reassurance and reasoning between them, before he could settle an issue. And having already made the mistake of not giving him that before, Mack wasn't going to repeat it.

“Hey.”

He turned to find Levi jogging to catch up with him. “Everything alright?” he asked, though he knew he'd probably been rumbled and would have to explain himself.

Levi chuckled and grasped his hand, while falling into step with him. “I know you better than you think. I could practically see the tension rolling off you when they talked about us like that,” he admitted, as though that was the only problem.

Mack walked with him for a few minutes, before realising that keeping quiet wasn't an option. There was no way he'd be able to keep his mouth shut all night. “It wasn't the way they talked about us that I had a problem with. Honestly, I don't mind, because they were all sharing and made it sound okay,” he explained, hoping Levi didn't hate him for what he was about to say. “What I had a problem with was the way you froze and acted like what we'd done, in keeping away from each other, was something to feel guilty about. Which it's not. And that's what Tam and Giovanni were trying to say,” he reasoned.

Yes, they'd been used as a lesson. And, sure, he knew fine well that everyone else had only taken a few weeks or months to settle into their relationships or give in to the inevitable, while they'd taken years. Literally. But, he also understood their point.

“Levi, we're not kids. We can handle a little criticism. Or, at least, I can,” he admitted, beginning to feel awkward from the continual silence. “I actually agree with them. No one should wait as long as we did, just because it might affect other people or might get in the way of someone else's life. What about our lives?” he asked, turning to look at his boyfriend.

Levi stared straight ahead, avoiding him.

“We were secretly miserable, fumbling around and never making too much contact, because we didn't know how to act with each other,” Mack complained, hating that they'd been so stupid. “We were wrong, Levi. We shouldn't have let it go on so long. Giovanni is right about that. I mean, hell, we don't even have the issues those guys have,” he argued, stopping to face his boyfriend. “The most shit we've been through was supporting Tam and Casen while they suffered. We have never had to face what they have, so what the fuck was keeping us from being happy?”

Silence loomed, as Levi met his gaze with nothing but confusion and surprise. It seemed Mack had been the only one sitting there, listening to Tam justifying the time it had taken them to get together, and thinking they were cowards. Even Cormag and Lachlan had faced some kind of opposition, in Konnor, to their relationship going forward. Konnor and Grayson had to deal with Tam, and Grayson being totally straight, with not even a hint of previous attraction to men.

What did they have?

Mack had never given two shits about labels, so he'd tolerated the 'straight' thing and fooled around with whoever took his fancy. Levi had admitted, to him at least, that he'd been attracted to other men, even if he never acted on it. So, this whole 'being together' thing they were doing right now was nothing new for either of them. Not to the extent that it had been for Lachlan or Casen or Grayson; all of whom had been 'straight' when they met their life partners.

Looking at them, Mack wondered what he had to complain about. Those three guys, once considered straight or just downright unsure of their true sexuality, were all married or engaged. The gay and bisexual men, who had always known their orientation, were the partners who lit up their world and showed them the truth of who they were.

They didn't have that. There was no big revelation. It was all small moments, tentative touches, and one big blow out of an argument that brought them together. Nothing that involved therapy, tears, breaking up or not seeing each other for a period of time, or even real, physical and emotional heartache, such as the others had experienced.

Their relationship was easy. It always had been. They'd just been too cowardly to do anything about it, using other people as an excuse.

“I–” Levi began, only to clear his throat and look back at the cabin where they'd be staying for the next week. It was the only residence for about a mile, giving them all the privacy they needed. “I wasn't mad at what they said or that they basically made us the poster boys of how not to have a relationship. I just–” Stopping to take a breath, Levi groaned and threw his hands up, one still holding onto Mack's. “Damn it, I was angry, alright? I just don't get it. I mean, Giovanni beat the shit out of my best friend and Tam just looks at him like he's this adorable puppy who bit his fucking hand off, but it's okay, because he's just a puppy and he doesn't know any better,” he ranted, finally letting it out.

“And Konnor and Lachlan are tighter than any two people I know, except maybe you and Casen, who were born to be that way. But, Konnor tried to take Cormag from Lachlan and anyone with eyes can see how much they love each other,” he continued, gesturing wildly. “Why do they deserve forgiveness? What the fuck gives them the right to be happy, when they've made other people miserable?”

Mack sighed and stepped forward to wrap Levi in a hug. Holding him tight, he realised what the real problem was. “One: Giovanni will never take your place as Tam's best friend. They will never be as close to each other as Lachlan and Konnor are, because they've never really dealt with all the shit between them,” he whispered, in hope that it would offer some reassurance over the issues that seemed to bother him the most. “Two: Konnor and Giovanni, even Tam – who you seem to forget beat the crap out of Grayson and tried to keep him and Konnor from each other – all earned their forgiveness.”

Pulling away to look Levi in the eye, he drove his point home. “Those three idiots made their mistakes, sure. But the big difference between the pain they caused and the unforgivable things that Darren suffered and that Cormag went through, is that their crimes weren't done without regret,” he said, lifting his hands to cup Levi's face. “They made other people suffer, yes. But they suffered for their actions, too. Konnor, Tam and Giovanni all thought themselves beyond redemption at one point. It took Grayson, Lachlan, Darren and Casen...even the rest of us, to prove that wasn't the case,” he recalled.

Mack shook his head and sighed. “The things they did were done in a moment of absolute and total heart-break. When they were at their lowest and thought themselves already beyond saving. So what did it matter if they did something bad, if the person they loved most already hated them?” he explained, hoping Levi understood his point. “Babe, what does it matter what we think about that? If Tam, Konnor and Lachlan are willing to offer forgiveness, to see past the pain and accept the truth of what happened in the past, then what right do we have to argue with that? It's their choice, not ours.”

Taking a step back, he shrugged. “Which is why we should never have waited so long. We had no right to use their pain as an excuse for our cowardice.”