Chapter 14

Final Day

“I'm not sure I want to go home, just yet,” Darren confessed as they snuggled under a blanket together on the decking.

It was late. Giovanni could only just make out the numbers on his watch thanks to the moonlight. Although there was a light breeze, it had enough of a nip to it from the sea that the blanket was necessary. As was the small lantern on the table next to them.

Just about everyone else had gone to change for bed already. They were having one last night together, before the next morning when they'd barely have time for coffee and breakfast before people started having to leave.

Tam had to get back to the farm, while Casen and Cormag still had to get home and unpack, then dip into some last minute paperwork for their new project before presenting it to their boss on Monday morning. Konnor and Grayson had made plans to visit Grayson's parents to tell them of their engagement. Mack and Levi had, surprisingly, decided to book a doctor's appointment the minute they got back, for first thing Monday morning.

Though Giovanni was pleased that Mack would support Levi with his depression, he wasn't sure how wise it was for him to accompany Levi to the doctor's. It wasn't like a session with Rico, who was understanding of relationships and knew that transparency was often a remedy to the worst fears of his patients. Doctors hated sharing information with people that didn't really need to know what was happening, so he could only cross his fingers and hope that it went well. After all, Mack only wanted advice on how best to support and be there for Levi when he was needed. It wasn't like he wanted his entire medical history. He hoped that worked in their favour.

As well as Cormag having business things to finalise before work on Monday, he and Lachlan wanted to contact their social worker to see Nicholas as soon as possible. Though the baby wouldn't understand what was happening, they wanted to break the news and get in one last visit with him, at the foster home he was in, before they were allowed to officially take him home.

Turning to watch Darren snuggle back into the blanket and the side of the chair, he couldn't help but wonder if kids were in their future. “Babe, do you want a family?”

Darren didn't laugh or make fun; he didn't scoff or groan in complaint. He simply pulled the blanket back, turned to face him and smiled softly. “One day, maybe. I'm not really sure,” he admitted, tucking the blanket under his arm. “Do you?” he wondered, completely lacking the judgement that other men might fear in their partners.

Giovanni didn't have to worry. Darren was an open book to him; always had been. It was one of the most important things about their relationship, but also the most beautiful and the thing that made it possible for them to still be here, today. “I think I might. But, like you, I'm not sure. I don't know if I'm just broody because of Lachlan and Cormag or if I love kids enough to want one of our own,” he explained, because it was important that they remain on the same page about these things. They could argue, disagree, fight and talk it out a million times, but only if they were honest. It was honesty that would have them moving forward together.

“Yeah, that's how I feel.” Darren grinned and sighed deeply. “Shelf it?” he suggested.

He couldn't help but laugh at the term, something Rico had introduced when Darren first had trouble with the move to Italy. He'd convinced them to have an imaginary – and not so imaginary – shelf where they put issues until they were ready to deal with them. Things they needed to think about more or that couldn't be predicted. The real shelf held tokens of those decisions; he imagined a pair of baby shoes or a teddy bear taking the place of this one.

In the past, they'd placed an empty medication bottle on the shelf, to represent the issue with Giovanni's father and his interference with Paolo and his meds; the letter from the psychiatric ward proving that Davis was still incarcerated, as a reminder that Darren was trying to use his name more often, to purge the fear and the flashbacks that came when he said it. They'd even put a Care Bear toy from Giovanni's childhood that his mother had kept on the shelf, as a representation of their 'cuddle time' slash cartoon watching attempts, when Darren wasn't yet ready to try it. They'd removed that toy and were working on everything else. It was kind of nice to see things disappearing from it, when they tackled issues. Even therapeutic in a way to add things, because it meant they were working hard and sticking together, no matter what.

“Shelf it,” he decided, fully committed to the idea. And maybe, even when their shelf was empty, it would be worth keeping. Maybe when they had nothing else to add, they could start holding their most precious memories there.

“I love you,” Darren whispered, leaning in to kiss his lips.

Giovanni smiled and returned the delicate contact. “I love you, too. Go back to star gazing, if you want. We're in no hurry,” he promised, lifting the blanket back over his shoulder and waiting. As he thought, his boyfriend cuddled into his chest as he went back to enjoying the crisp moonlit night.

It was going to be a long, sad night. There was no need to rush the goodbyes.