Chapter Twenty-five: Hope

Nathaniel

 

 

Breath roars through my lungs. The gasp assaults my ears. Did the sound come from me? Or from her? All of them? My eyelids flutter. Faces loom over me. The most important face of all is familiar. Her pale skin and graceful long eyelashes that surround green eyes with hints of glittering sun. My gaze lowers from her eyes to soft pink lips. The lips of my dreams. The perfect dent in the center of her upper lip. The plush curve of her lower one.

Her gasp. She sees me in the flesh. My heart pounds. Blood rushes through my veins.

“We have a heartbeat,” a foreign voice says over me. “Let’s get him transported.”

“I thought he wasn’t going to make it,” another voice says with relief.

“What? What happened? What’s going on?” Diane Crowson says.

Someone grips my hand. The soft skin of her fingers, slightly knobbed knuckles is not Juliana’s hand. Charlotte’s familiar voice says, “It’s going to be fine, dear. Give Juliana some space. Please, Diane, trust us.”

I’m lifted off the cold wet floor and placed on a stretcher. I reach up to remove the mask over my face. Part of me knows it’s pushing oxygen into my lungs, but I don’t care. It’s uncomfortable and keeping me from Juliana. That’s all I can think of.

“You’re here,” she says, stunned, uncertain. “How? Where is he?”

Juliana blocks my view of anyone else. She’s utterly confused and I’m having some distortion as well. My head aches fiercely and I can’t get my thoughts together to make much sense. I can’t see as well as I’d like to. My body, my new body isn’t right. There’s numbness and tingling in my limbs. A burning sensation engulfs my chest and there’s horrific pain in my calf. “My leg?” I garble.

“Your leg?” she asks. “What’s going on? How did you…?”

“Pain. My leg.” I attempt to reach for it, but I’m stopped by strong hands. They’re strapping me to the stretcher.

“Don’t move,” he orders and tightens another strap.

One of the men frees my calf from my pant leg. They mention the strange marks on my skin. My new skin. The pain on my lower leg is the center of my agony.

“What happened here?” the medic asks.

“It was a rattlesnake!” Juliana answers.

“When did this happen?” he asks.

I’m blacking out and don’t have the strength to explain.

“Earlier this evening,” Jules answers for me.

“Man, this guy can’t catch a break,” the other voice says.

“Please give us some room, miss.”

Juliana fades from view. I’m unsure if it’s because she moved or because I lose focus.

 

∞

Juliana

 

I would give anything to be in two places at the same time, I think as I watch Nathaniel being wheeled away. Marcus and Jared are in the middle of a heated discussion on the opposite side of the stage.

Inner conflict is an absurd waste of time, but it’s also the most prevalent annoyance in my life. I can’t make up my mind, and to make things worse, I have to argue with myself over the fact. I want to stay with Nathaniel, but what if this is the last time I ever see Jared?

Jared wins as my grandmother and mother scurry after the rolling stretcher. I can catch up with them, but I must say goodbye to my brother.

“I’m not going anywhere until you promise that Star will be forgiven,” Jared demands.

“Bah!” Marcus snorts as I walk up behind him.

“Then I’m not leaving.”

“You’re falling short of your promises already,” Marcus says with arms crossed over his massive chest.

“J?” I ask.

He tears his gaze away from Marcus and focuses on me. He’s all smiles and reaches out to me.

“This is going to be the greatest scheme of all time.” He tries to hug me but of course, he no longer has a physical body. “Oh, yeah, I have to work out the body thing. How does Nathaniel do it anyway?”

“I’m not really sure,” I squeak as Jared attempts to manifest a body in the physical realm.

“You can’t do it. Not until you learn some respect for your new station.”

“Now I understand why you don’t like him,” Jared says with an eye roll toward Marcus.

“Did you agree to this?” I ask.

“Yep. It’s not so bad. I could be a lot worse off,” Jared says.

“Jared, you know you’re dead, right?”

“No, Jules. I’m having the strangest dream of my life,” he says.

“I feel like I’m dreaming right now,” I say.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be with ol’ pretty face, the fallen one? Where is he?” Jared asks.

“I had to say goodbye to you first,” I say.

“Doesn’t look like it’s as urgent now,” Jared says, and lifts a hand to chuck me on the jaw.

I feel his hand like a shadow falling across my face. This is all too much for me to process. My senses want to shut down, but I can’t. If this isn’t a dream, I have to keep holding it together.

He says, “I sense a temporary separation coming, but no lasting goodbye.”

Marcus adds, “He’ll be with me until he earns his place. Jared won’t be seeing his family until you’re used to his absence. But rest assured, he’ll be allowed short visits after a time.”

“What?” I ask, trying to assimilate all the sudden changes in my corner of the universe.

“It’s for the best, Jules. Grieving is healthy. If Jared lingers, it makes life harder to move on,” Marcus says.

What Marcus says makes sense, but my logical side wants to turn all this off and pretend it’s another messed up vision.

“Marcus is such a wet rag. You know what I mean? The more he talks, the more I’m starting to have second thoughts about this decision.”

My brows reach for the sky and I goggle at both of them.

Jared sees my expression and softens. “Jules, it’s going to be okay. I’m setting the precedent between us. I won’t be bullied and bossed around like your boyfriend. No offense toward Nathaniel, but Mr. Butthead here needs to know I’m seriously going to enjoy this afterlife since I did volunteer for it.”

“Jared,” Marcus’s warning tone doesn’t faze my brother one bit. “Humility is a noble place to start this new journey.”

“See the bullshit he’s already flinging around? It’s going to be very awkward between us if he keeps this up.”

Marcus shakes his head in disapproval, but he doesn’t retort.

“That blonde angel. Where did she go? She should take me on,” Jared says.

“Who?” I ask.

Marcus says, “Our friend, Harmony, saved me from that witch’s little scheme. Good thing you blew it Juliana, or your brother may have been lost for good.”

“What are you talking about?” Jared asks.

“The spell Star and Juliana tried on me was botched by your sister. Juliana didn’t complete the incantation and I was stuck halfway to hell, or who knows where Star was going to send me.”

“Marcus,” I say. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but you needed a time out.”

“Never mind all that. Harmony came quickly enough. And I blame the witch anyhow. Be grateful Jared’s soul wasn’t corrupted or lost in the interim.”

“That doesn’t sound so terrible. Can I go there instead of being stuck with you?” Jared pipes in.

“You’re blessed to have a mentor. Go on and shut your chops,” Marcus says with a slight curl to his lip.

“Wow. You’re going to be some mentor, aren’t you? I couldn’t be more thrilled.”

The play between them, albeit rather edgy and rude, sets me somehow at ease. If Jared were truly upset, he’d be sulking and silent.

“Where is Harmony?” I ask.

“Here or there. All the wrongs to make right in this world keep her busy enough,” Marcus says.

“She better leave Star alone. My girlfriend was only trying to protect me.”

“And you won’t be seeing her for some time,” Marcus says as if he were putting his foot down about this subject.

“You are going to forgive her,” Jared says, coming back around to the topic of conversation I first walked in on.

Marcus sets his jaw and stares across the stage where the crowd is breaking up and people return to stage matters. I don’t see Star, but I’m sure she’s in the mix somewhere.

Harmony rescued Marcus. Marcus rescued Jared. Now, Harmony is away again doing what she does best.

“I have to go,” I say with a suddenness that grabs Jared and Marcus’s attention. “I love you, Jared. Be good. Please. And come see me,” I plead as I feel my feet urging me to find Nathaniel. And find him now.

“As soon as my new boss says it’s okay,” he assures me.

I glance up at Marcus and narrow my gaze. There's so much to sort out, but there's isn't time to define my feelings about everything Marcus has done.

Refocusing on my brother, I reach up and place my palm on his cheek. Everything is going to be fine. Just like he said. But before I fully believe it, I have to see Nathaniel.

“Love you, too, sis,” Jared says, and tips his ghostly cheek into my hand.

Running is the only way to keep my sanity. Too bad my ankle isn’t cooperating. I swear, if I ever find out how to cure a trick ankle, I’m going to throw a huge party and call it an “Enlightenment of Faulty Body Parts Extravaganza.”

Hobbling along at a fast clip isn’t so bad, but hopping down the stairs on only one good foot is dangerously awkward. The ambulance is down one level on a parking lot reserved for the VIP shuttle and the tour bus and emergency vehicles. The handicap ramp is a hundred times longer than the one short staircase, but I don’t think I want to fall on concrete stairs today. The engine is running and the parking lights flash red and turn off before the ambulance starts to pull away.

What the hell, I say as I take the first step. Maybe Nathaniel and I can ride together as a disabled couple.

“Stop the ambulance!” I scream to anyone who might hear me.

The ambulance keeps rolling as I squeak and squeal in agony down three more stairs. All hope is lost as the ambulance turns on it sirens to clear a group of departing concert goers.

They’ll never hear me now. They’re too far away and the siren blares. I sit down and think I’ve missed my chance at riding to the hospital with Nathaniel. I don’t know if Mom and Grandma are inside with him or driving their own car. What if Harmony is trying to hurt him? Nathaniel said she planned to stop him at any cost. His delay this afternoon was his first warning.

I feel a tap on the back of my shoulder and I spin around. A man holding a radio stands on the stairs behind me and asks, “Do you need the ambulance?”

“Yes!”

He radios in and the ambulance’s brake lights brighten before stopping. The backdoor swings open and an EMT sticks his head out. It’s all I need to catch a ride and hopefully save Nathaniel from Harmony’s wrath.

 

∞

 

Things I have learned over the course of the summer:

1: Specific plants, minerals, and other ingredients such as sage, sweetgrass, lavender, cedar, quartz, essential oils, copal, sandalwood, charcoal, and feathers — there are too many to list — can be used to assist various needs of the spirit world. Chris says they have specific uses, but what matters most is that the user wants a strong outcome and has the strength and will to carry out their intentions. I originally thought learning all the uses of medicinal plants was going to take me forever to memorize. Now, I have to learn all the plants and their effect on not only the physical body, but the mental and the spiritual affects as well. Freaking outstanding.

2: Visions are warped. They’re not to be trusted. I suspect no matter how hard I want them to go away, they’re going to persist. I might as well get used to it. Hmmm, that pretty much sums up how I feel about ghosts, too.

3: Ghosts and place memories are totally different. Place memories are freaky to witness, but not like the pee-in-your-pants hair-turning-instantly-white freaky that ghosts are.

4: Don’t anger a warlock. It isn’t worth the consequences.

5: Avoid all succubi!

6: Have a shaman as a good friend. This relationship has been to my benefit, hasn’t it? I’m still on the fence about whether or not Chris is actually helping me.

7: Demons do not like angels. Especially when the angels are disposing of said demons.

8: Addiction, whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, violence, or drama, is an inner struggle like no other. Don’t judge. Be kind. Ranting on an addict doesn’t help anything in the end.

9: Angels are real! My very real boyfriend is proof enough. Harmony’s warning to watch ourselves is real, too. She’s currently exiled from the hospital room thanks to #1 and #6.

10: It’s okay to believe in fairies and magic. If seeing is believing, then… yeah, I’m a believer.

11: Never underestimate your ability to make everything worse — or better.

 

“What are you writing?” Nathaniel asks from his hospital bed.

His voice rasps when he speaks. My empathy causes my throat to hurt when I hear him. I drop the notebook and throw myself into the hospital bed next to him.

“You’re awake!” I say, as I squeeze him and plant kisses all over his face.

“Is Harmony here?”

“She can’t get in,” I say. “Please, don’t worry about her. Chris was here and he put up some spiritual protection.”

Nathaniel’s pewter colored eyes look surprised and wary. “Chris Abeyta?” he asks slowly, his question full of skepticism.

“It’s true,” I say.

“Is Chris all right? Did White Wolf come with him?”

“Chris looks like he’s been cage fighting, and losing, but he swears he feels fine. I don’t believe him. His dad didn’t come with him. Chris mentioned that White Wolf will be more ornery than ever after the excitement with the horse thieves. He won’t be visiting his father anytime soon.”

“Chris Abeyta was here? Protecting us from Harmony and Marcus?” Nathaniel reiterates.

“Yeah,” I say. “He told me to give you a message when you woke up.”

“What is it?” Nathaniel asks, groggily.

“He said you’re even now. One mended leg for one protected hospital room.”

Nathaniel closes his eyes and murmurs, “Sounds fair enough.”

“I was surprised by Chris’s visit, but he likes to keep me guessing. You won’t need his help again because Vivi promises to teach you how to protect yourself once you’re out of here.”

“Vivi was here, too? How long have I been…?”

His confusion tugs at my heartstrings. I reach up and stroke his hair.

“Try to relax and rest. You still have a lot of healing to do. I’ll explain. You’ve only been out of it like a day and a half. Vivi brought your ID and some clothes. You’re officially her great nephew now.”

“Nephew? Like, Star’s brother?” he asks, looking horrified.

I laugh at his sudden terror. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. But no. I think more like Star’s cousin. No blood relation, though.”

“Thank the gods,” he croaks, then smiles lopsidedly. “I owe Vivian too much.”

“You did save her life and reunite her with her daughter,” I remind him.

“Any decent angel would have done the same.”

Nathaniel rolls slightly in the bed so he’s facing me. He grimaces, but the look passes quickly and he stares into me as only he can do. His hand rests on my hip. Heat instantly flushes my face and I want to bury my head against his chest, but I don’t. Instead, I reach for the top of his hospital gown and peer inside the neckline.

“I knew you wanted more from me, but this is sort of fast, isn’t it?” he asks.

Giggling, I don’t stop my inspection of his chest. I’m on top of the blanket and he’s underneath so I’m unable to see much, only the upper part of his smooth, hard pecs.

“I’m making sure it’s really you under there.”

“I already thought it through before I switched with your brother. Trust me, this is all me.”

“That’s a relief,” I say, and press my cheek to his chest. “You know, you smell different now.”

“I’m sure I reek of antiseptic and bandages. And probably fried neurons and maybe some anti-venom. Does anti-venom have a smell? My head is pounding.”

“You have a concussion and your snakebite came with you for some reason I don’t understand. But yes, that is what I smell and something else, too. It may take time to get used to.”

“Snakes are the ultimate symbol of rebirth. The higher powers must have a sense of humor,” Nathaniel says.

“They were probably trying to kill you off before you even had a body,” I say, grimly.

His hand presses against my back and he rubs lightly in small circles. “Well, their plan didn’t work. No matter what condition this body is in, it’s mine now and I’ll have all kinds of great manly odors, not just the smell of heaven and energy.”

“Man odors? Gross,” I say even though a surge of pure joy rushes through me. Nathaniel is here in the flesh and he isn’t leaving.

“You’re going to love it. You know,” he considers. “I won’t be able to heal you anymore. Not the way I used to. You need to be a lot more careful.”

“Uh-oh. That’s a deal breaker, Nathaniel. I need a supernatural boyfriend for all my twisted ankles and other accidents. This isn’t going to work for me after all,” I say, and hold back a laugh.

“I think Marcus might be available, but he’s the only one I know. How about him? Personally, I think he’s too tall for you.”

“Yeah, he’s definitely too tall. Guess I’m stuck with you.”

“I’m glad we worked it out, you know, before I fell from grace.” He sighs and says, “I’m going to fall back asleep now.” His eyelids droop with exhaustion. “If I’m still dreaming, then you’ll kiss me now, sweet vixen. You’ll kiss me every time I lie down to sleep and every time I wake up for the rest of my life,” he mumbles, already half asleep.

Tipping my head up, I brush my lips over his. The corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. His face is so relaxed. More than I’ve ever seen before. The worry lines around his eyes and the hard set of his jaw are gone. It’s only Nathaniel and I wonder if we’re dreaming together. I take a deep relaxing breath and sink in closer to him on the bed.

His hand moves up to cradle the back of my head against him and his breathing deepens.

“I want to marry you, Juliana Crowson,” he whispers.

I stiffen, utterly taken off guard and wondering if I should respond, but then I relax. He’s sound asleep.