Chapter Four: Playing with Fire

Juliana

 

 

Castle Hill Studios’ new location isn’t quite as jaw dropping as the location inside the actual castle, but it’s still one of the classiest businesses I’ve ever frequented.

Since my brother, Jared, is living on borrowed time, I’ve been spending all my free time with him. I haven’t been going to work at the herb shop and I’ve only had a couple lessons with Chris while Jared was preoccupied with friends or asleep.

Tonight, his band’s working on recording their first professionally produced album with Castle Hill’s label. The recording studio is designed in a way that lets everyone feel at ease, which hopefully translates to producing their best creative effort. Besides the sound booths and technical areas, there’s a lobby, rec. room, lounge, kitchen, and offices. There are minor cosmetic projects still being completed, but the studio is open and albums are being recorded. I guess when you’re as rich as Lance De’Lao, you can pay workers to finish quickly.

As far as I’m concerned — and the band, too — we couldn’t be happier with the new accommodations. Castle Hill was too haunted. Lance doesn’t have time for supernatural distractions, and neither does my brother. As for the studio time, Mostly Mayhem has two more days and nights to pull this album together before they begin to tour with The Shy Lights.

Nathaniel and I enter the lobby and say hello to Yvette, Lance De’Lao’s personal assistant.

“Yvette, this is Nathaniel. Is it okay if we hang out tonight? I’m sure the band won’t mind. I’ve brought them dinner.” I hold up the bags of takeout.

“Good evening, Juliana. Please, go in and make yourself comfortable.” Her slight accent adds something subtly exotic to her always professional and pleasant demeanor. “The Shy Lights are here working on their new EP. I thought you might want to know.”

“Err… thanks,” I say, my mouth going dry. I swallow as a vision of Star Quillin wielding a long silver blade flashes through my memory bank.

“The Shy Lights are in studio two. You and your guest should have plenty of space to avoid one another.”

News travels literally at the speed of sound. Yvette and everyone else knows Star nearly cut my head off when she was mentally unbalanced from refusing to take her medication for bi-polar disorder. Nathaniel squeezes my hand and keeps his gaze fixed on my face.

“Thanks, Yvette,” I say, my throat tight and my scar tingling.

My spine stiffens as I wait for Yvette to buzz the door and let us pass from the lavishly decorated lobby to the hallway that leads to studio one.

“Are you sure you want to face Marcus like this?” I ask Nathaniel.

“Are you sure you want to be in the same building with Star,” he asks.

“I’m fine.” I’m not sure if I’m being honest about Star, but I’m here.

Nathaniel wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Marcus is going to have to get over it sooner or later. My client is here tonight, too. My mentor can’t force me to leave.”

“He’ll probably make you keep your distance from Jared, though.”

“We’ll see,” Nathaniel says.

“Bringing dinner shouldn’t be this stressful,” I murmur.

“We can leave if you want to.”

I fill my lungs on a long inhale. “No. There’s too much synchronicity going on with both of us. I think we’re supposed to be here.”

Nathaniel gives me another reassuring squeeze.

There are different areas to view the bands. I take Nathaniel to the game room and lounge, which also has a window into studio one.

I place the food on a table in the corner before waving hello to Jared through the window. I adjust the volume knob on a small panel built into the wall so we can hear what they’re working on. When I was here the other night, Marcus was chilling out in the technical room with the soundboards. I hope he’s in there now, or not even in the building at all. Either way, I don’t see the massive Angel of Death lingering nearby waiting for my brother to cross over.

Jared, Caleb, Derrick, Dan, and the new guy, Alex, appear grungy and frayed at the edges. But even with tired eyes and wrinkled clothes, I don’t think a single one of them has lost an ounce of enthusiasm for the music they’re creating. It’s been a long stretch of hours and I doubt anyone has gone home to shower, shave, or change.

“Should I go check on Steven and give you a minute to not worry about Marcus showing up?” Nathaniel offers.

His hand rests on my low back as we watch Mostly Mayhem on the other side of the glass.

“You don’t have to go,” I say. “We already agreed to try and have one night like a regular couple. And I don’t see him.”

“So far so good then,” Nathaniel says.

Mostly Mayhem sounds tight. Better than ever. The addition of Alex to the keyboards and synthesizers for certain songs was an excellent idea. The depth he’s adding by creating layers of sound makes my blood hum and my body want to move. When I listen to my brother’s band with the addition of Alex, I picture them as professionals able to reach a much broader audience.

“It’s kind of ironic that they only found Alex because Jared’s hand was broken,” I remark as Jared smiles with satisfaction after playing a perfect riff.

This take should be it. Everyone inside the booth looks thrilled as they close the song.

“He filled in when Jared couldn’t play?” Nathaniel asks.

“Yeah. He’s a talented guitar player, too. They asked him to join the band after Jared was back.”

Nathaniel takes my hand in his. “Does Caleb know Jared isn’t going to be a member forever?”

“Jared hasn’t told anyone he’s being stalked by the Angel of Death except for Star. I didn’t even think of it before, but I guess Alex will take Jared’s place after…” I falter.

“Having someone in place will be good for the band, right?” Nathaniel adds, trying for optimism.

“I’m not sure Caleb will want to continue without my brother. I’m not sure any of them will. I guess we’ll have to let those pieces fall where they may.” I close my eyes to the thought. The future isn’t something I can dwell on knowing my brother won’t be in it.

“They’ve been friends for a long time?”

“All of them. Since they were annoying little carpet monkeys. No, wait. They’re still annoying brats. They’re just a lot bigger now.” I smile up at Nathaniel and try to push the sadness aside. “They’ve been friends since forever.”

“It’s never easy, Juliana.”

“I know.” Losing my father at a young age taught me a harsh life lesson early in life.

The band positions their instruments for a break and they file out of the recording booth.

For a group of sleep-deprived musicians, they’re lively and amped up as they talk over music particulars. Jared, Caleb, and Derrick filter into the lounge without Dan and Alex.

“Jules is the best sister our band could ever have,” Derrick says as he dives into the bag full of burritos and tacos.

“She’ll do,” Jared says, winking at me.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” I ask Jared and Caleb.

“I’m not hungry,” Jared says. He tips a bottle of water up to his lips and gulps.

“I am,” Derrick says.

“You always are,” I say.

“That’s true,” he admits. “Man, we’ve been in there for hours. My gut’s caving in.”

“Hours?” I ask.

He nods and stuffs an oversized burrito into his face.

I glance at Jared, trying hard to not be suspicious. The last time Jared was uncharacteristically not eating was the result of being high on methamphetamines, which causes a suppressed appetite. He promised me he wouldn’t take any more drugs. He almost died from mixing uppers and downers and he swore to me it was the last time.

“Did you eat earlier?” I ask, trying to keep my voice casual.

“Mmh-hmm,” he says and turns away so I won’t see his face.

“You’re freaking lying to me,” I say.

“He is,” Marcus says, and I nearly have a heart attack on the spot.

I inhale a ragged breath instead of screaming from the surprise of Marcus suddenly appearing next to me.

“Not here, Jules,” Jared says and walks out of the room while I’m still holding my chest in attempt to calm my erratic heartbeat.

Caleb grabs a drink from the fridge in the corner and follows Jared. They’re two peas… and I know from growing up with these two delinquents that whatever one does the other one is also doing. Caleb is well aware of Jared’s promise to give up drugs, and I’m sure he’s running away with my brother to avoid any accusations.

I rush after my brother to get a better look at him. He’s halfway down the hallway before I catch up and turn him around so I can see his eyes.

“Please, tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”

“He’ll be fine. I’m keeping a close watch on our boy,” Caleb says.

“I bet you are,” I say bitterly and shove Caleb back.

“You don’t have to get all abusive on me,” he says, looking wounded.

“You’re the one who keeps shoving this crap down my brother’s throat.”

“We’re working our asses off here,” Caleb says, trying to justify his actions.

“Stop it, Jules,” Jared says.

His dark and normally vibrant eyes are tweaked and dull. I clearly see how whatever drug he’s currently on is depleting his life force energy.

“Why?” I ask, letting it be an all-inclusive question.

Tears are beginning to sting the back of my eyes. The anger and frustration that Jared has already broken his promise to remain clean ignites a fire so intense inside me I feel the soles of my feet burning.

“I don’t want to argue. Let me decide what I can and can’t handle,” Jared says.

“Do you want to be labeled as just another junkie guitar player?”

“You can’t understand,” he says.

There’s something about the look on his face that gives me pause. I suddenly feel the pull of his heartache. His uncontrollable need and pain. He knows he’s hurting me and he knows he’s powerless to stop it. The moment strikes me to the bone and I almost cry out.

Jared is an addict.

He’s unable to stop doing drugs, even though he wants to. Even though he knows it’s literally killing him and making him miserable. Even though he’s promised me over and over again. I close my eyes, trying like hell to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks. Closing my eyelids is my first attempt to shut off this reality; to shut down this revelation.

Unfortunately, the battle with my brother isn’t the only quarrel going on. Nathaniel and Marcus are having their own clash of wills. Nathaniel must have given up his physical body and returned to his spirit self because he wouldn’t be yelling otherwise.

Marcus’s deep rumbling voice booms from down the hall. I know I’m the only living person who hears him and the sound raises the fine hairs on the back of my neck.

“We’re past the warning stage, Nathaniel.”

“Really? I didn’t realize I needed your permission to watch over my client.”

“Don’t make light of the situation.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to do my job!” Nathaniel says.

Jared and I turn away from each other at the same time. My empathy is too strong right now. This isn’t the place to feel Jared’s suffering. Caleb grabs my brother’s sleeve and tows him away from me.

Trying to hold myself together emotionally, as seemingly impossible as that may be, I switch focus to the new problem at hand and head toward the sound of Nathaniel and Marcus’s voices. They’re behind a partially open door. I won’t interrupt because it’s not my place and because I want to hear the details of this running argument between my boyfriend and his former mentor.

“I’m not here to interfere with Jared! I know he’s going to pass.”

“Then you need to get on with your next job!”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing. He’s here. Inside the studio.”

“Go see to him then!” Marcus says.

“I can visit with my friends if I want.”

“Oh, I know what you’re about, man. I haven’t forgotten your extended stay with Liam the traitor. Are you willing to give up your soul then?” Marcus asks.

“I’m nothing like Liam,” Nathaniel growls back.

“Aren’t you?” Marcus demands.

“Nothing! He’s an arrogant ass who enjoys torturing people.”

“He’s a conjurer and a manipulator,” Marcus says.

“If you would have answered my questions, I wouldn’t have had to seek him out.”

“Your fall from grace will not be on me.”

“What’s wrong with wanting my life back?” Nathaniel yells.

“It doesn’t work that way,” Marcus yells back. “Without order, chaos wins. There are laws in this world. You’ll never be accepted into the afterlife if you pursue this.”

“Even if I find the right replacement?” Nathaniel asks.

His certainty in this last question makes me think finding a replacement is the key to Nathaniel’s success.

“I’m not discussin’ this any longer. You’re playing an unforgiveable game.”

“She’s worth it,” Nathaniel says.

I rush into the game room and collapse on a couch. Derrick and Dan are eating tacos and talking about playing a game of pool before they have to step into the sound booth again.

Nathaniel enters a second later and sits next to me. He’s back in his physical body.

“You’re shaking,” he says.

His pewter colored eyes swim with concern. He brushes his fingers over my cheek and along my jaw. I feel the angelic energy he’s sharing with me. The unnatural warmth penetrates through my skin and enters every cell inside my body. This energy normally brings a sense of calm serenity. It’s amazingly peaceful… but I block it.

“Don’t,” I say. I’m not angry, but I don’t want his help right now.

“What is it?”

“Everything. Nothing.”

“Please, don’t shut down, Jules.”

“It may be too late.” I stare into my lap.

“It’s not. We’re in this together.”

He tips my chin his way, so I’m forced to meet his gaze.

“Can you help Jared? Can your angelic energy help his drug addiction?” I whisper so Derrick and Dan won’t hear.

Diversion is such a devious yet helpful tactic. Let him think Jared is my most recent concern, and not that I know he’s willing to sacrifice his chance at heaven to be with me.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he says with a small yet somehow sad smile on his gorgeous face.

I close my eyes on a sigh that relieves none of my anxiety and rest my head against the back of the couch. Nathaniel takes my hand in his and passes me more of his incredibly soothing energy. This time, I don’t block his help.

 

∞

Nathaniel

 

“Steven needs me,” I say as I receive the unmistakable pull to be near my client.

“He’s inside the building, right?” Juliana says.

“He’s close by. Steven’s going to be on the tour. He’s the new fill-in for The Shy Lights’ regular stagehand. They need him to be familiar with the instruments and the songs before the tour starts.”

“You should go find him. I’ll be fine. I am getting tired, though, so I’ll be driving home pretty soon.”

Juliana has calmed down a lot since her run-in with Jared, but I still don’t want to leave her side. I always hate leaving her.

“Let me know when you’re ready to leave.”

“Why? You planning on stalking me home?” she asks with a smirk.

“Of course. It’s a long drive. I worry.”

“There’s no need. I’m probably the best driver you’re ever going to meet,” she says.

“It’s the other drivers I worry about.”

“Go check on Steven. I want to hang out and listen for a few more minutes. I’ll be right here on this couch until I’m ready to leave.”

Alex and Dan entered the recording booth, but the rest of the band had not returned from their break. It amazes me how these musicians can keep going all night long. Not that I wasn’t up for it. Day or night makes little difference to me. Juliana, on the other hand, needs to sleep at some point, especially after her strange day with Chris.

I scoop her up and set her on my lap. She squirms and pushes against my chest, but I don’t let go.

“What are you doing?” she giggles.

“Saying goodbye. Ignore me.”

“Umm, not possible,” she says as I bury my face against her neck, seeking the spot that makes her melt.

We end up sideways on the plush couch. Juliana’s on her back beneath me.

I give all I can in the ways a boyfriend should properly say goodbye to his girl, and she gives me as much and more. I breathe in her scent and mumble, “Okay. Now I really have to get to work.”

“You’re such a tease,” she says. Jules pushes herself up and begins running fingers through her waist length hair and straightening her shirt. Her shirt looks fine to me, but she seems to think it’s crooked and keeps yanking at the hem.

“If I’m not back, let me know when you’re headed home.”

“I promise I will.”

“I love you, sweet vixen.” I place one last quick kiss below her earlobe. “I won’t say, don’t forget me. Not after what happened the last time I used those words.”

“We can X those words out of the dictionary for good.”

I rise to my feet but can’t tear my gaze away from Juliana. She gives me a tentative look that makes her appear vulnerable. I feel another tug to be near Steven.

“I’ll be back soon,” I say.

“Love you, too,” she whispers.

Her words are enough reassurance to let me know I can leave for a little while and she’ll be all right.

 

∞

 

Steven leans against a wall in the alley behind the recording studio. The old west style red brick building of Castle Hill Studios matches the town only on the exterior. Inside is all modern wealth.

I don’t show myself. If I’m needed as an Angel of Death, I want the perspective of one. He’s talking on his phone and I listen in without an ounce of shame or embarrassment for intruding on a private conversation. If I’m going to help him, I have to know what he’s up to.

Steven asks, “How many are we talking about?”

“Half a dozen if we get them all,” the man on the other end says.

“I don’t know. I have a paying gig now. I’ll be out of town for a few weeks.”

“I called because you said you wanted in on this,” the guy says. The accusation and guilt are heavy in his tone.

“I’ll do it if I can still work my other job. Otherwise, count me out.”

“After what we lost today, we need you.”

“You think you do. It’ll be better with less bros,” Steven says.

“How do you figure?” the other guy asks.

“Your way is more dangerous,” Steven says as he glances at the back door to the studio.

“Gotta go. Someone’s coming. If you see me, then I’m there,” he says and ends the call.

Jared and Caleb exit the building and step into the alley.

My client places his back to the wall and says, “Hey.” He’s casual and unconcerned about being intruded on.

“What’s up?” Jared says.

“I thought you guys were still jammin’ over on your side of the world.”

“We’re airing out our heads. Everyone needed a break,” Caleb says.

Jared’s arrival guarantees Marcus’s presence. The roof may have a nicer view of the stars while I keep an eye on Steven. Marcus and I may have to deal with our mutual discomforts over the next few weeks if we’re going to be traveling together on the concert tour. Assuming our clients have a few weeks left, that is.

“You smoke?” Caleb asks.

“Not while I’m working,” Steven says.

“Then you’ve got your shit together better than we do,” he says.

Caleb lights a joint, takes a hit, and passes it over to Jared. Juliana’s brother refuses with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Your sister getting to you or what?” Caleb asks.

“You heard her,” Jared says.

I need to speak with Jared alone. Juliana asked me to intervene and I want to follow through. I haven’t used my angelic energy to help someone with addiction before and I don’t know if it will make much difference. Jared’s free will is his free will. He has to make the decision to stop using and follow through on his promises. I grew up dealing with my parents’ addiction to alcohol. I’ve seen what it can do to the human psyche. I’ll bend Jared’s ear for Jules’s sake, but it’s going to have to wait until we’re back at their house. Marcus isn’t allowed inside but I am. Chris Abeyta surrounded their house with some sort of shamanic protection. No spirits can enter the property unless they’re invited. It’s an opportune situation that’s worked in my favor.

“Check this out,” Steven says. My client pulls something out of his backpack. I’m up too high on the roof to see exactly what he’s doing. I hear the unmistakable clink of Steven’s lighter. Small flames shift in his hands as he begins to juggle three little balls of fire.

“No shit,” Jared says, impressed.

In the glow of a streetlight, I see Steven actually smile.

“How many can you juggle at once?” Caleb says.

“I’m up to four, but it’ll be five pretty soon.”

The door to the alley opens, spilling light from inside the building. Star Quillin walks outside with a member of her band.

Where’s Juliana? I think, but don’t leave quite yet to check on her. I only hope she doesn’t come searching for Jared while Star is here.

“Wow! That’d be fantastic to add to our live show,” Star says to Steven.

Steven catches the flames and smothers them in his hand. “I’m more of a behind the scenes type of guy,” he says.

“Oh yeah?” Star asks. “Too bad.”

“You might like this.” Steven reaches for the bottle of the flammable fluid he keeps tucked away inside his backpack.

He steps over to the center of the alley and sprays the liquid on the asphalt in a deliberate pattern. Everyone waits and watches. Anticipation hums through the group, but only serves to deepen my apprehension. I wouldn’t be here unless Steven was close to something harmful. Playing with fire isn’t helping my nerves.

With my intuition and angel sense, I suddenly hear Juliana call me, like she’s beckoning to my soul. There’s no urgency to the tugging sensation, so I assume she’s ready to drive home.

The timing couldn’t be worse. My responsibility is to stay with the client. When someone’s life is at stake, I can’t take off to say goodnight to Jules. She understands, but I still feel guilty.

Another whisper; a light tickle in my ear. Nathaniel Evans? Juliana wants me… I groan and suppress the need to answer her.

Steven says, “Stay back.”

Everyone huddles near the wall of the building. Steven relights his flaming juggling balls and begins to juggle in the middle of the alley.

After tossing them high into the air and catching them with upside down fists so the flames disappear into his hands and then suddenly reappear as they circle through the air in curved arches, he catches one on the side of his shoe and flicks it ten feet away from himself. The fireball lands with a plop and ignites the trail of fluid he sprayed on the pavement. With the other two fireballs, he catches one then the other on his shoe and launches them in different directions. The design in the fire spreads around him until the back alley is glowing like a bonfire party.

“Yes!” Star cheers and claps her hands in delight at the spontaneous show.

“That’s chill. How is it burning for so long?” Jared asks.

“How are you not on fire?” Caleb asks.

Steven jumps over the low flame and away from his design. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” he says in that unreadable way of his. He could be dead serious or joking. I can’t read his intent and it unnerves me further. I’m used to picking up my clients’ vibes much faster.

“Harsh, dude, but I get ya’,” Jared says.

Steven half shrugs and says, “Never give up all your secrets at once.”

“Good advice,” the other member from The Shy Lights adds.

Star stares at the fire while dancing around the flames. She rises onto her toes, stretching her neck to look at the entire pattern. From the roof, I see it clearly. She moves over to the building and steps on the side of the dumpster with one foot and hefts herself up with the other foot on a drainpipe.

“I want to see what it says,” she says with a laugh and begins scaling the drain spout.

Jared watches Star climb the side of Castle Hill studios. He’s only a few feet in front of her.

“It says—” he starts.

“Don’t ruin it for me. Not all of us are giants.”

Jared raises his hands in surrender. “You’re going to like it.”

She twists halfway around to read the word, “Firelight,” in cursive script.

“The name of our album! That’s perfect,” she says. “Steven, you have to do this for us at the outdoor festival at the end of the tour. Our fans will love it!”

Hanging onto the pipe with her feet jammed onto a bracket, Star leans out into the alley smiling at the guys.

It doesn’t take a genius to know she shouldn’t be climbing and hanging from a drainage gutter. Moving on instinct, I leave the roof, but I’m too late. The crack of breaking hardware is followed by a groan and creak of bending metal. Star yelps with surprise. By the time I’m close enough to help, Jared and Steven are already in place beneath a falling Star — no pun intended.

Steven beats Jared by a fraction of a second, but the three of them collide in a tangle of limbs. Steven supports most of Star’s weight because Jared gets bumped to the side and stumbles out of the way. He struggles to regain stability and goes down on top of the flames.

“No!” Star screams. Her distress is not the yelp of falling four feet from the side of the building but genuine terror.

She lunges after Jared. “This can’t be happening again. No, no, no!”

Jared is quick to roll and return to his feet. Star pulls him away from the low burning fire. The studio door opens and Juliana is backlit by the glow of lights from the hallway. I immediately move to her, but she steps back and the door slams shut.

I spin around to check on Star, Steven, and Jared.

Star’s yelling, “Jared, your pants are on fire!”

Steven is desperately tugging something out of his backpack. He rushes passed me yelling at Jared, “Get on the ground right now!”

Jared drops to the pavement, he’s beating at the flames around his ankle. Steven tackles him with a large cloth or towel and smothers the fire. I have a fleeting moment of relief, but then the door crashes open behind me and Juliana comes tearing out wielding a fire extinguisher.

Spray foam bursts out of the nozzle, but not onto Jared. Juliana aims straight at Star’s backside where her long gauzy skirt was aflame and no one had noticed, not even Star.

After Star is drenched in white foam, she sprays Jared’s legs, and then extinguishes the last of the burning letters on the ground.

“You definitely know how to make an entrance,” I say. I’m still in my spirit form so only Jules and Marcus see me.

Juliana slumps against the dumpster and drops the fire extinguisher. She closes her eyes, her lids quivering. She doesn’t reply to my comment, but instead takes a deep breath and then another.

“Are you burned, Star?” her band member asks as he whisks her inside where he can see the damage better.

Juliana shrinks further away. She doesn’t want anything to do with Star after the knife incident. Her and Jared discussed canceling the tour because of Star. But because of Jules’s unending well of kindness and understanding, she forgave Star for not taking her medication and only wants all mistakes to lie in the bed of the past.

The group moves inside to get a better look at any injuries. Steven hangs back and stays silent. He’s massaging his elbow but otherwise appears unhurt. Jared is singed but nothing worse. Thankfully, the fire didn’t burn through the thick denim of his jeans. Star disappears into the restroom to have her backside examined by her friends in private.

Clustered in the hallway, Caleb retells the tale to everyone who missed it. A few minutes later, someone from Star’s band announces, “She’s fine. The burn is minor.”

Juliana digs into her purple shoulder bag — her bottomless pit, I call it — and hands The Shy Lights band member a small silver tin. “Make sure she cleans and disinfects the skin. Then she should rub this salve on it. Tell her it will help.”

He takes the container from Jules without question and disappears back into the bathroom.

Juliana turns to Jared. “Can we get out of here?”

For the first time ever, Jared appears humbled. He isn’t smiling or bouncing on the balls of his feet. His expression is somber and he’s standing in the hall holding onto his arm.

“Yeah. I want to ride with you, sis. If that’s okay.”

Juliana nods and they leave the building without Caleb or the other band members.

With Marcus and Jared waiting inside Juliana’s old Saab, I say a quick goodbye in the parking lot, ask her to promise to call me if anything happens on their way home, and return to my charge.