Chapter Twenty-six: Fantasy Becomes Reality

Nathaniel

It’s been eight days since Jared’s funeral service. Besides Juliana, Charlotte, Diane, Star, and myself, no one knew the urn was filled with air. My tears were a surprise. Funerals and death were as common to me as breath and life, but the enormous loss to the Crowson family, not only once when Juliana’s father passed away, but now twice with both father and son. I wasn’t the only one defeated by this immense sadness. The entire town arrived to provide support for the Crowson women and tears were shed by all.

And with the sorrow came the drowning misery of my own loss. The tragedy of my own family and losing my parents in one disastrous night resurfaced inside me like it happened yesterday. The stark nakedness of dealing with life is going to be yet another adjustment for me. Don’t misunderstand me, I want this, but the learning curve is steep right now.

Marcus arrived at the service for a brief visit. Jared was not with him. I saw my old mentor clearly, answering my unvoiced suspicion that I retain some of my angelic abilities. Not the moving around with thoughts, but the ability to see dimensions where angels and fairies exist. Surprisingly, I can still channel healing energy. Which is a mega bonus considering how accident-prone Juliana can be at times. The energy I channel isn’t as strong as before, but it still moves through me when I want to use it. I also recovered from my injuries faster than normal. Whether it was because I retained some of my angelic powers or because of the twenty-four-seven healing ministrations of Diane, Charlotte, Vivi, Juliana, and even Chris Abeyta, I can’t say for sure. Being cared for by a group of astonishing women (and one man) who are all talented healers in their own right is a blessing I never thought I’d experience.

Marcus and I chatted in the parking lot of the church as Juliana, her mother, and grandmother spoke to guests in the receiving line. My mind was, to say the least, open and blown to smithereens. In other words, Marcus surprised me with what he had to say about my fall and the incidents leading up to the day Jared and I switched places.

“Why all the delays and obstructions in the final days and hours before I fell?” I asked.

“Nathaniel,” Marcus remained cryptic as he answered my previous questions, but now he appeared more agreeable. The penetrating look he gave me told me just as much as some of his other pronouncements. “Creator chose you to serve for a reason. To leave your duties is no small request. Do you think you might have to earn the privilege? Perhaps, you needed to work hard and prove you deserve it.”

I blinked at him and thought carefully before speaking again. “I was being tested?” I say, uncertain if I understood him correctly.

“What’s to gain if it’s not worth fighting for?” Marcus winked and left me standing there dumbfounded.

Which leads me to now.

I lead Juliana blindfolded from the truck to my secret spot. It’s a surprise, and hopefully a good one. She keeps reaching up to touch the bandana over her eyes. It’s killing her that she promised not to take it off until I said it was okay to remove it. So maybe the blindfold is a bit over the top, I think, as she inches along, cautious of tripping.

“If we keep going at this pace, we won’t be there until tomorrow,” I say.

“It’s your game and I don’t want another twisted ankle,” she says, and takes another deliberately slow step.

She whoops as I scoop her into my arms without warning. “Now you won’t fall.”

I carry her and ignore the fact that I don’t have super strength any longer. She doesn’t weigh much and the burning in my muscles feels good. The last couple of weeks working on Vivi’s ranch have inspired me to use my new body to the fullest.

“Are you ever going to tell me what Marcus was doing at my brother’s funeral?”

“Mmh-hmm,” I hum as I turn to the side and walk around the trunk of an old spruce so Juliana’s feet don’t bump into it.

“You’ve been putting me off for days,” she complains. “Please, tell me.”

“I needed time to digest a few things.”

“And?” she asks.

“I didn’t want to say anything that wasn’t true. I thought I knew what he was telling me at first, then it really sank in, and now I’m… now I’m happy and relieved.”

“Tell me,” she says, exasperated by my slow delivery of the news she badly wants to hear.

“He asked me if I remembered the final moment before I fell? And I said, yes. Then he asked me to remember it again.”

“And did he say when Jared would be given his own cases?”

“I’m sorry, Juliana. He didn’t say anything about Jared except he’s a fast learner and a whopping pain in his derriere.”

She rests her head against my shoulder and sighs. Juliana is holding up so well with the reality that Jared will never sleep in the house again. No more earsplitting guitar practice in his bedroom or arguments on who gets the car that night, but I know all these things, and more, are present in her daily thoughts.

“Well, what did he tell you?”

“I thought it was another warning to watch my back, because in those last seconds at Red Rocks, it looked like Marcus was going to grab me and force me to stay in the angelic realm, but after I reexamined the situation, I saw something entirely different.”

“What did you see?” she asks, clenching my shirt in her hands.

“He didn’t try to do anything to me. He was after Jared.”

The reality of the situation hits me again. Every time I replay it in my mind, it’s the same. Marcus wanted Jared, not me. Harmony didn’t look vengeful, she looked hopeful. We’re silent for a stretch as I navigate us closer.

“I hear water,” she whispers. “And I know that smell.”

I smile even though she can’t see me. Of course, her bloodhound nose would give away the location.

“I still don’t want you to see until we’re there. Then you can explore until you keel over from exhaustion.”

“Nathaniel?” she asks.

“Yeah?”

“Are you saying Marcus took on Jared as an apprentice deliberately?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. And you saw them right after it happened. They were getting along.”

“And he knew what was going to happen between the two of you?”

“I think so, Jules. And he’s happy about it.”

“No way,” she says in dismissal. “What about all the fighting and bullying?”

“He had to. Marcus would never go against the rules. But if you could have seen the look he gave me before leaving the memorial service. There’s no doubt. Marcus knew all along. I’ve thought about all of it. I think he wanted this to happen. He wanted to be the one to guide Jared if and when your brother took my place, and I think he’s okay with the two of us.”

“Wow. And I convinced myself he was a total a-hole.”

“He isn’t, and I know he’ll be good to Jared.”

“Thanks for telling me,” she says as we arrive and I stop walking.

Lowering her to her feet, I say, “Here’s your real surprise.”

I remove the bandana and let her see what I’ve been up to.

“Holy frijoles. Where are we?” she asks.

“My new abode,” I say with a huge grin. “And yours — anytime you want to come over.”

“Seriously?” she asks, and her voice rises.

Then all her questions come spilling out before I can answer the first.

She spins in a slow three-sixty as she tries to take it all in. “How, Nathaniel? I mean, did you buy this place? What about all these flowers, the waterfall, the fresh chopped woodpile? I know I’m smelling a hot spring somewhere nearby. And those lanterns – that color is not a natural blue. They’re magical, aren’t they? How did you make this happen? Are you responsible for the sunset, too?”

This last question comes out as more of an accusation and I can’t stop the laugh rising out of my belly.

“Slow down. We have all weekend,” I say and take her hand.

Layers of pastel rose and downy soft gray accentuate the polarized blue of the evening sky. I couldn’t have ordered a more perfect August sky for Juliana’s first visit to my new house.

“I’m renting it from Vivi. Well, sort of renting. I’m doing all the renovations in trade for a roof over my head.”

“The cabin is perfect. Rustic but cozy. Real log homes are so warm in the winter. It’s going to be spectacular surrounded with snow. And you planted flowers? They’re amazing. How come there are so many? You had to have started these months ago.” She bends down to smell the purple and blue flowers the names of which I can’t remember.

“You caught me,” I say as I watch how cheerful the flowers make her. “I know nothing about them except you like them. Vivi is the horticulturist, but I’m learning quickly at how to keep them alive. Magic can be a very useful tool in certain circumstances. The blue lights inside the lanterns are another little trick she taught me.”

She turns her green gaze on me and the spicy, mischievous twinkle is something I haven’t seen since long before the night at Red Rocks.

“So, you’re practicing magic now? Should I be worried that I’m being seduced by a wizard?”

“More like I should be worried that I’ve been abducted by an empathic fox.”

“Did you just turn this around on me?” she asks, acting playfully shocked.

“If the shoe fits, love.”

She slaps my chest and narrows her eyes. The calculating going on equally scares and thrills me. “Do you want to play in the waterfall or soak in the hot spring first?” I ask to tempt her away from whatever devious scheme she’s conjuring in that fast little mind of hers for my previous remark.

“I want a tour of your house,” she states, and moves to the front door.

“I fell in love the first time I saw it.” I stare at my one room log cabin.

Juliana stands at the entrance and doesn’t say anything, so I fill in the gaps.

“The only addition it has ever had since it was built is a bathroom. I added the solar panels and the battery bank to power the modern conveniences. Vivi and I ordered a wind generator which should be here next week. I thought you might appreciate those.”

I stare down at her and she’s speechless. Which is the opposite of how she was a minute ago outside, babbling excitedly. It makes me worry that I’ve screwed up, so I amend by saying, “If you ever stay here with me.”

She walks to the desk by the window and runs her fingertips across the smooth wood surface.

“I’m going back to school,” I announce. “I want to finish my degree. I guess, I’ll have to start over, but I’m all right with that. I thought I might need a desk to study at.”

She doesn’t turn around and I begin to imagine the worst. She hates my little house.

“Jules?”

She won’t look at me as she examines the woodstove and the small kitchen in the corner of the room. I also have a respectable couch, coffee table, television, and bookshelf — in hope of acquiring some books. Jules climbs three quarters of the way up the ladder to see the loft bedroom. I don’t own much, but Vivi let me have an antique dresser and a log bed frame from one of her guest rooms.

“It’s a start,” I say, as I begin to think she’s considering me to be one step above homelessness. “Vivi is paying me well even after she takes off the rent. The ranch always needs something repaired. And after I finish my degree, I can get a real job and a bigger place.”

“You’re not moving anywhere.” Juliana climbs down and moves to one of the large front windows. She turns to face me at last.

Deepening colors race across the sky and set a backdrop behind Juliana that has no rival. Cobalt, magenta, and silver highlight her silhouette, but the perfect lines of her face, the smooth curve of her neck and shoulder tighten the threads that are already laced around my heart. I wonder if my new heart could actually burst from love.

“Is it too cramped in here?” I swallow and notice my voice thickening with emotion as I stare at her.

“I don’t think so.” She walks up to me and intertwines her fingers with mine. She leads us across the room.

“I’ve dreamed of your house,” she tells me.

“Another vision?” I ask with concern, knowing how disturbed she gets from them.

“No. I’ve dreamt of this place since I was little. This is my dream house. A cabin in the woods with a view and a stream. A big soft bed and a warm fire. I even have a picture in my trunk that looks almost identical to your house. You’re living in my fantasy.”

“I have something to confess.”

Juliana turns her bright emerald eyes on me.

Heaven have mercy, I hope I’m not blowing this, but there always has to be honesty between us. “I saw the picture inside your trunk. I meant it when I said I wasn’t snooping that day when I was looking for your hair clip. But I did see the picture and I looked at it closely because it grabbed my attention like I knew the place. When Vivi mentioned an old cabin on her ranch and I saw it for the first time, I knew I had to live here. That it was meant for me. For you, actually. Your picture inspired the flower pots outside, but the inside is all my idea.”

One eyebrow rises as if considering my words. Her gaze shifts to the view through the window, the mountains, the sunset, the enormous trees growing by the water. I don’t know what she sees exactly, but I understand how the sight can steal your thoughts without realizing they’re gone. I get her attention back by brushing my fingertips along her collarbone. Juliana releases my hand and she scrambles up the ladder to the loft.

“In my dream, I even have this same loft bedroom, overlooking the living room with a view of the trees and the sky.” She pauses and stares down at me.

I follow her upstairs.

She waits for me near the top of the ladder. “I was a little upset when I saw that you had looked through everything inside my trunk. It was a bad day, considering everything, but now my mind is blown away. This cabin is everything and more than I could ever imagine. It’s perfect. I’m glad you saw the picture because you’ve made this place perfect. Sometimes I almost believe everything falls into place exactly when it’s supposed to.”

I stop before her. “You can live here with me,” I offer as hope surges through me.

Her eyes and mouth soften, but she doesn’t reply. Instead, the sparkle returns to her eyes and she says, “Besides the cabin, do you want to know what else I’ve been dreaming and fantasizing about?”

I stay silent and nod, worried I’ll say the wrong thing and mess up the moment.

Her hands trail to my waist and she backs us up to the bed. “You,” she says with a shove.

We tumble together onto to the extraordinarily soft feather mattress and Juliana has her way with me at last. And don’t worry, I get to live out a few fantasies of my own.

Later. Much later, we snuggle together in the warm downy soft bed with Juliana’s head on my chest. She listens to my heartbeat and I savor the feeling of her silken body pressed against mine.

“The answer is yes,” she says.

“What was the question?” I ask sleepily and not likely to snap out of my jello-state of being any time soon.

“Yes, to everything.”

I hesitate only long enough to feel my heart skip a beat. “You mean living here with me?”

“Yep,” she says. “I love you, Nathaniel. I can’t imagine not spending my entire life with you.”

“So, we’re getting married, too,” I state.

“Eventually,” she says matter-of-factly. “I’d like to finish school first, but other than that, I want to be your wife.”

“What about magic, ghosts, crazy cousins named Star, angels, disapproving shaman, and everything else that come with this engagement?” I ask, reminding us both how messy life can be.

“You’re the only one I would do it with,” she says, and places her chin on my chest to stare up at me.

“Do it?” I ask, the insinuation cheesy but clear. “You want to do it again? Already?” The corners of my mouth quirk.

“Definitely,” she says with a smile. “I want a lot of it — with you — and everything else life brings our way.”

I inch down, seeking her perfect lips with my own.

Eternity or a kiss?

I chose a kiss.