Epilogue
Lacey
A year later
Anyone who’s been pregnant would know that it’s not a walk in the park. Your body swells up, there’s no space for your organs, you can’t reach your toes anymore, and you crave things that no one in their right mind would eat otherwise.
That wasn’t the hardest part for me, though. The hardest part for me had been the fear. I had been terrified of what it would mean to have a baby. I had gone from single, independent, and only out to have sex, to a girlfriend and a mother in less than a year. It was a big change, especially for someone who had had the worst views of family, growing up.
Hanson had made every effort to ease my fears. He had been supportive and strong, caring and there for me whenever I needed it. When I’d craved something in the middle of the night, he’d made sure I got it. When I’d sat crying on the floor because I’d dropped something and hormones had taken over, he’d picked it up for me and consoled me like I had every right to sob like a child.
And when our baby boy was finally born, I had never seen love like that. Hanson had looked at Liam Bell like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I had known right then, at that very second, more than I ever had, that everything would be okay.
When I held the blue little bundle in my arms, I felt a tug deep inside me.
His life would never be like mine. He would grow up in a balanced household where love and loyalty prevailed, and he would be beautiful, inside and out.
Hanson had done everything he’d promised to do as a father. He’d cleaned up his act completely. Of course, the women were a thing of the past, now that I was in the picture, but staying out at clubs, drinking, and living the single life had become something of the past.
He was home for us when he could be, only leaving to train or spend time with his friends now and then. If he drank, he would never have more than two. And now that I knew why Brian never drank much, I didn’t worry about Hanson spending time with his best friend. I also finally found out why Brian doesn’t even sleep with women, but that’s a story for another day.
As a PR Manager, I would never have thought the best way to clean up a man’s act was to give him a family. But it turned out that life had lessons to teach me that my job could not.
Of course, I still worked for Chuck. I was on maternity leave now, but as soon as it was time to go back, Liam would go to the best daycare in town. I wanted to keep my career going for now, and Hanson needed to be able to focus on his football, too.
When I met Hanson, I had seen a problem to which I was the solution. He had been the challenge, the player I would be forced to tame. I had never thought that he would be the one to reel me in and tame me, instead.
I would never have guessed that a year down the line, I would have a family of my own. You never knew what life would throw at you.
You would also never guess that as soon as Liam was born, Hanson got down on one knee and proposed to me.
“Marry me,” he’d said. “Please say yes. I want our family to be official.”
He had held up a large sparkling ring he had purchased some time ago but was waiting for the right, spontaneous moment to do it. And the first time we held our son was exactly that right moment.
We are getting married in six months, and Liam will be our ring bearer, in a tiny red wagon I’ll pull down the aisle behind me. I’ve been talking to my dad more since all of this happened, and he’ll be able to make the wedding.
Now, I quietly closed the door to the nursery and stood at the door for a moment to be sure he was sleeping. Hanson put his arms around me from behind and kissed my shoulder.
“Is he asleep?” he whispered.
I nodded. “Finally.”
Hanson spun me around and kissed me.
“Come to bed with me,” he said.
He took my hand and led me to our bedroom. I switched on the baby monitor. It had a camera that allowed me to check on him.
Hanson climbed into bed and opened the covers for me to get into bed, too. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer, kissing me again.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m good. Better.”
He smiled. “That’s good to hear. You’re a happy mom?”
I nodded. I’d never thought I would say it, but I was a happy mom.
Hanson kissed me again. He lingered on my lips, and I opened my mouth, letting him in. He penetrated me with his tongue, tasting me slowly and swirling his tongue around. His hand slid down my ribs, lower and lower. Before he slid his hands between my legs, he stopped.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked.
We hadn’t slept together since Liam had been born. I’d needed to recover. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, too.
“I am,” I said. “In fact, I’ll be right back.”
I slipped out of bed and walked to the closet where I retrieved a box I’d hidden in there a week before. I smiled at Hanson before I walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
I opened the box and retrieved a red G-string and a red teddy to match. I put them on and looked in the mirror. I hadn’t picked up a lot of weight during my pregnancy, but I wasn’t back where I wanted to be. Still, the lingerie looked good, and Hanson didn’t mind my body at all. I would start jogging again, soon, though.
When I opened the door, Hanson looked at me. His eyes slid down my body and back up again.
“God, you’re sexy,” he said.
I blushed and walked toward him, displaying my body for him. He got up and moved across the bed, kneeling on the mattress. He put his arms around me and pulled me against him. His erection strained against his boxers and pressed against my lower abdomen.
I shuddered in anticipation.
Hanson kissed me on the mouth before kissing a trail of fire down my neck. He thumbed my collarbone, kissing the skin he’d touched before he slid his hand to my breast. I gasped. I hadn’t been touched in so long. I was extra sensitive.
As if Hanson understood, he was gentle with me. He tweaked my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it beneath the material. His other hand was on my lower back, holding me against him as he gyrated his hips against mine.
I gasped. Heat flooded my body and pooled between my legs. My core tightened, and I wanted him. Hanson pulled me onto the bed and laid me on my back.
“You look fantastic in this, my fiancée,” he said, tugging at the elastic of my G-string. “But I’m afraid it will have to come off.”
I smiled. He curled his fingers around it on both sides and pulled it slowly down my legs. He dropped it on the floor. He slid his hands up my legs, moving until he was at the apex of my thighs. He massaged my inner thighs before he moved one hand higher and found my clitoris.
He rubbed it in small circles, and I gasped as he worked me up, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. With his other hand, he inserted two fingers, and I writhed against him. It was pure ecstasy. Balanced between his hands, he brought me to orgasm. I cried out, bucking against his hands.
When I looked at him, he smiled.
He pushed himself up, leaving me to recover, and pulled down his boxers. His cock sprung free, hard and eager. The tip glistened with anticipation, and I could almost feel him inside me already. He took off his shirt as well, and he was naked in front of me.
His muscles bulged everywhere, rippling under his skin as he moved. He crawled over me and positioned himself at my entrance. He kissed me again, pressing only the tip into me.
I squirmed beneath him, wanting more.
He smiled against my lips. He enjoyed teasing me. I put my legs around his hips and pulled him closer to me, into me. He chuckled and gave me what I wanted, sliding into me.
I moaned as he did. I had forgotten how big he was, how great he felt when he was inside me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “More than okay.”
I loved that we no longer had to use condoms. There was nothing in between us; just our bare bodies meeting and being completely together.
He smiled and moved inside me, pulling out and pushing back in, creating friction, a rhythm. His sex forced my breath out of my body. His hips bucked against mine as he pushed harder and faster.
My second orgasm wasn’t far away, and with his pounding, it came closer quickly. My legs went numb at the knees, and he coaxed a fire into being at my core. When I couldn’t hold it anymore, I toppled into the abyss of a second orgasm. My body curled around Hanson’s, my nails biting into his chest, and for a moment, I stopped breathing as pure pleasure racked my body.
When it finally passed, I gasped, breathing hard. Hanson grinned at me. I smiled at him.
“Turn around,” I said.
Hanson blinked.
“Come on,” I said. “On your back.”
Hanson nodded and slid out of me. He moved to lay down next to me. I pulled off the teddy and straddled his hips. I leaned over his chest and kissed him, before I balanced myself over his cock and guided it to my entrance with one hand. I lowered myself onto it. Hanson and I sighed at the same time as he slid into me. From this angle, he went in deeper.
I moved a bit, getting comfortable on top of him before I moved my hips back and forth. Hanson’s face went slack, and his eyes were hooded as he alternated looking at my eyes and my breasts. I rocked harder and harder, feeling him slide in and out of me. He groaned.
My breasts jiggled, swinging back and forth. I put my hands on his chest and picked up my pace, riding him harder and harder. My knees rubbed against the sheets on either side of his body, and I felt the muscles in my hips strain. I was going to feel them in the morning. But I kept up my rhythm.
I felt him harden inside me, growing bigger still, and I knew he was close. I was getting tired, but I knew we needed just a little more.
Hanson released inside of me, his face riddled with concentration, his body taut and his cock jerking inside me. I loved that ever since I got pregnant and now that we’re engaged, he could come in me. It felt good to feel his raw cock, his seed spilling into me. His orgasm triggered echoes of my own, and I collapsed on his chest as we rode out the waves of pleasure together.
When the heat subsided and Hanson softened, I climbed off him and rolled onto the bed next to him.
“I’ll be right back,” I said and got out of bed.
I walked to the bathroom and cleaned up. When I returned to the bed, Hanson was already dozing off. I climbed in under the sheets with him. He rolled onto his side, and I did the same, my back against his chest. He curled his body around mine like a question mark and held onto me as we both drifted off to sleep.
“I love you,” I whispered, into his chest. “My fiance.”
I guessed he wasn’t completely asleep, because he half opened an eye and smiled.
“I love you too.”
I wasn’t a hundred percent confident about having a child and a relationship yet. There would still be rough days ahead, and I didn’t know what to expect. What I did know was that Hanson would always stick by my side, and together, we would make it through anything that came our way.
And life would be better because we had each other, and our baby boy too.
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Chapter 1 – Brian
Present Day
I was supposed to be helping to choose new recruits for my Florida Sharks professional football team but I couldn’t help getting a little bit sappy. Watching athletes right before they hit the prime of their career was inspiring. But it also made me nostalgic, reminiscent. And still a little fucking heartbroken.
I was at the Sharks’ Training Facility, watching the training session for the rookies. They trained at night when we were done using the fields. Coach Rudi Thompson stood next to me, and we both took notes on the new recruits.
“They’re fit enough,” Coach said with a growl in his voice. “That’s for damn sure.”
I chuckled. “That’s because every time they mess up, Coach Donald makes them run laps.”
Coach Rudi shrugged. “It works. They learn that way. I should do it more with the rest of you. You’re all too cocky for your own good. That’s the problem.”
I laughed. “Shit, we’re doing cardio outside of training sessions enough as it is, thank you very much.”
Coach grinned, but the grin didn’t last long.
“What do you see?” I asked.
Coach shook his head. “It’s what I’m not seeing. I don’t see a hell of a lot of potential among these guys,” he said. “What am I supposed to do when someone retires?”
He had a point. Every now and then, we needed to pull someone from the B teams and C teams. They weren’t anything special yet. They played games just like we did, but they weren’t nearly as popular. Once a player was good enough and we had space, they’d get moved up to the real team.
“We’ll see what they’re worth in their game, tomorrow,” I said.
The Sharks were off for a while. When that happened, we took time to watch the other team's games. We learned from them, we laughed at them, and we scouted from them. It was a team effort.
I played running back for the team, and I was damn good at what I did. I was one of the best players on the field. That might sound like vanity to some people, but it was the honest truth. I enjoyed what I did. I’d played for the Hurricanes for my college team and worked my way up to professional status with the Sharks soon after.
I’d dreamed about making it to this level ever since I was a little kid. Now that I was living the dream, my life was almost perfect.
Almost.
There were definitely holes in my life where things were missing. Love, a relationship, companionship. It was something I tried not to think about most of the time, and when I did, I told myself I didn’t want or need any of that bullshit. I played pro ball and nothing was supposed to get me down. Especially girlie crap like that.
I know that since I’m not in a relationship, I should be able to fuck around with whoever I want. My best friend Hanson used to tell me I should be like him, on the prowl for one-night stands and cheap fucking, because I could. There was a time when he was like that and would want me to go hunting for fresh pussy together, but he had gone and settled down, by dating Lacey and then marrying her.
The man was happier than I’d seen him in a long time. He deserved it. He’d pulled his life together, and he and Lacey had just had a baby. And he’d helped me a lot along the way. Especially one time when I really needed it.
So maybe now that Hanson had Lacey, he understood why I had just never been into playing the field. It seemed empty and meaningless, whereas what he and Lacey had— and what I used to have— was something that lasted and was more permanent. Or at least, that’s how it was supposed to be.
There was a time, just after Hanson had met Lacey, that I’d felt sick to my stomach thinking that I would never have the happily ever after I deserved. Now I could be happy for them, like a man should be for his best friend, but I couldn’t help but think of everything I myself had lost. Nor could I seem to let go of worry that I would never find anything like it again, because I couldn’t seem to stop focusing on the fucking past.
Once upon a time, I was certain I would have my own happily ever after. You always do when you have a woman on your arm and you see your future in her eyes. But I was young and stupid and that had been a long time ago. I was the new and improved version of me, trying hard to put idealist hopes behind me and become impervious to love. I wouldn’t allow myself to be heartbroken ever again.
The wind blew, warm and noticeable, the way Florida wind never really gets cold. I breathed in, and I could taste the ocean on the tip of my tongue. There was something about living this close to water that made me feel at home. Whenever I was inland, traveling with the team, I felt antsy until I got back to the coast.
I looked around the field, losing interest in the practice session. It was just a bunch of repeat exercises, and I had done so many of them myself it had made me sick.
The cheerleaders were training to the side of the field. Slender, flexible women did tricks that made me wonder what they could do in the bedroom if they could bend like that. I could think of a few ways to spend the night with one of them. They wore short shorts that left just enough to the imagination to make me think of sex, and tops that bared their stomachs.
They were every man out here today’s wet dream. By the looks of it, they had more attention than the guys on the field. In fact, the players were sneaking glances toward the cheerleaders as well. But even though I liked to look, thanks to my past, I never could seem to bring myself to give all of me to any girl no matter how hot she was.
“Alright, ladies,” a familiar voice said.
I whipped my head around, trying to look for the woman it had come from.
Could it be her? Could it really fucking be her?
“Take five, have some water. Then right back at it.”
I shivered.
The women jogged off. I scanned them, looking for the owner of that voice. It had tugged at something very deep inside me, but I couldn’t place it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice warned me that I didn’t want to know, either, but I shoved it away.
I needed to know who that voice belonged to.
The ladies returned to the field a few minutes later and lined up to do their routine again. Sexy bodies all in a row, but I most definitely wasn’t interested. What tiny spark of arousal I had had from looking at them was overtaken by the fact that I thought I had just heard her.
“Ready?” that same voice shouted. “Let’s go!”
I took a step or two closer to the cheerleaders. My eyes fell on their coach, and I realized that it really was her.
Sadie Anderson.
Fuck, I knew it was her voice. I should have listened to the little voice telling me not to find the owner of it, but, instead I listened to the stupid part of me that couldn’t help but do exactly that.
Now that I knew, I couldn’t push it all away again. There Sadie was, facing the cheerleaders. A dream. A nightmare.
Her raven hair was pulled back against her head into a ponytail. I couldn’t see her eyes from here, but they were burned into my memory. Gray, like a stormy sky. Slate when she was angry. Her body was taut and muscular. Sexy as fuck. She’d always been a cheerleader with raw talent for anything athletic.
It was interesting to see that after everything, she still ended up being part of that world. It’s funny how some things you could forget as if it never happened, and other things were ingrained into your very being forever.
Sadie was the one who got away. She was the woman who I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with. She’d been my high school sweetheart. We had taken each other’s virginity. She had been everything to me.
And then she had forgotten about me. Literally.
I took a deep breath and tried to forget about her all over again. But I was the unlucky son of a bitch that remembered everything, no matter how much I wanted to forget.
I always told myself— and I tried very hard to convince myself while staring at Sadie standing there— that maybe I could forget her, the way she had forgotten me. But no, I wouldn’t want that. If I forgot, I would be in danger of repeating the same heartache again. And I wasn’t sure I would be able to survive that. I’d barely survived it the first time, all those years ago.
I sometimes didn’t know if I held myself back from being with other women because I could never love anyone the way I had loved Sadie, and, admittedly, still fucking do, or whether it was because if I was able to find someone like Sadie, I felt sure that something would inevitably happen to take her away from me, just like what happened with Sadie. I really hadn’t ever wanted to find out the answer. But now, looking at her, I realize that my heart is still dying to know.
The memory of what happened on Prom night was so vivid, I felt the horror, the agony, all over again. I watched Sadie now as she walked back and forth, correcting the cheerleaders’ stances. This was torture. Dammit, I should just have turned around and left.
As if she could feel my eyes on her, she slowly turned. Her eyes were gray, the color of the sky when it was overcast. I didn’t let her eyes meet mine before I looked away.