Hawk

“Hawk! I need you in the barn!”

I’m crossing from the house to the office so I can be there for Parrish’s meeting with Russell when I hear dad’s voice shouting for me from the barn where we keep all of the ranch supplies. I groan and look at my watch. It’s almost eight, and Parrish told me to get there early. If I don’t show up when I say I would, she’s just going to be disappointed in me again, and I don’t want that.

“Dad! I don’t have time!” I holler back at him as I try to double-time toward the office. But then he sticks his head out of the barn doors and glares at me so intently, I can see the fire in his eyes even from where I’m standing.

“Boy! You get your ass over here now. I need to move these boxes before the carpenter gets here today, and I can’t do it by myself.”

I look nervously over at the office door, then check the road leading into the ranch to make sure that Russell’s truck isn’t lumbering down early. With a resigned groan, I rush over to dad, hoping that it’s just a box or two, and then I can get back to Parrish. But of course, as soon as I step through the doors, I see at least twenty-five boxes, and heavy one at that, which all need to be slid out of the way so the carpenter can get to the table saw.

“Dad, I told Parrish I would be there for her meeting with…”

He gives me the glare again. “Parrish is a grown woman, Hawk. She doesn’t need a babysitter. But I do need your help with this. So less squawking and more moving.”

I have to remind myself not to roll my eyes as I take off my jacket and start picking up the boxes of feed and supplies and chucking them to the other side of the barn as fast as I can. But the closer I get to the back, and to the table saw, the heavier they get. We have to use a lift, and before I know it, I’m soaked in sweat, and I have no idea what time it is because I had to take off my watch when it kept getting snagged on the boxes.

Once the area is cleared, I look at my phone, and see it’s almost ten. “Shit! Dammit! Son of a…”

“Hawk, you watch your mouth, boy!” my father says as I pick my coat back up off the barn floor and run for the office. I throw the door open and slide inside, and the minute I see Parrish’s face, I know that I am in so much trouble.

“Parrish! I…”

She holds up her hand. “Don’t. It’s fine. It’s not your fault. I didn’t even ask you to be here. You offered. You weren’t obligated.”

Based on the way she is slamming files and plans and, finally, kicks the wall over and over until she is crying, I can tell that whether or not I was obligated, I should have told my father to screw and come here anyway. I rush over and pull her into my arms, only to stop her from hurting herself.

“Parrish, what happened? Tell me.”

She firmly, but gently, shoves me away. “Forget it, Hawk. Seriously. It’s fine.”

I sit on the edge of the desk. “It’s obviously not. Tell me what that creep did.”

Parrish sighs, and sits down in her chair, then crosses her arms over her chest protectively. “That… bastard. I knew he was a creep. I could feel it. He came in here to go over the plans. We talked for a while, and everything seemed fine. Then, he stood up, and spread the plans on my desk, and he reached over and…” she stops talking and looks down at her breasts. “Forget it, Hawk. It’s not a big deal. You know how old guys like him are.”

“No. Fuck that,” I growl as I stand up from the desk and stalk outside. I feel like all I’m doing around here lately is getting pissed off, but there is no way I’m just letting this go. I walk out the door, and see that Russell’s truck is still here, so I head in the direction of the barn. I can hear him talking to my father, and sure enough, they’re in there, chatting like old buddies. Dad even gives him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

I can do one better, I think as I walk up to them, rear my fist back, and sock Russell in the jaw so hard, he crumples to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Dad looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What in the sweet damn hell, Hawk? What has come over you?”

Russell makes a move to stand up, but I point at him, my hand shaking. “You stay down there, you piece of shit. Don’t make me hit you again.”

Russell looks up at me with pure white hot hatred in his eyes, but he doesn’t move.

“I thought you were going to talk to him?” I snarl at my father. He looks at me, confused.

“About what?” dad answers, shaking his head.

“The way this garbage fire of a human being treats women.”

Dad’s eyes narrow, then he looks from me, down to Russell. “What is he talking about, Russ?”

Russell rubs his jaw. “Hell if I know.”

I feel rage wash over me, and I dive at him again. Dad reaches out and grabs my arms, holding me back, preventing me from straight up killing the man.

“You tell the truth, Russell! You tell the truth right now!” I scream. I’m suddenly aware of a presence behind me. I turn around, and Parrish isn’t the only one standing there. Anna and my mom are there too, along with a handful of the builders, the carpenter who arrived early, and Simone, watching from outside the doors. But I don’t care. I’m too angry to care. And I can see my father getting angrier by the minute too.

“You tell the truth, Russell. What did you do?” my father says under his breath, now also aware we have an audience.

Russell’s eyebrows sink into a glower, one that drives away his usual sense of false joviality. “I don’t know. I may have, accidentally, brushed a hand against Parrish while we were going over the blueprints.”

From behind us, I hear Parrish scoff, which only makes me angrier. I turn back to Russell. “If you, for one second, think I won’t beat your ass into the ground, you have another thing coming, Edwards.”

He scoots away from me, but doesn’t try to run. He knows he has nowhere to go. “All right, all right. It wasn’t an accident. I was just paying her a compliment is all. I don’t know what everyone is getting so worked up about.”

I see my mother rush over and put her arms around Parrish. Anna starts to make a move in our direction, and my mother grabs her hand to stop her. I know for a fact that Anna could destroy Russell just as easily as I could, so it’s for Anna’s benefit as much as Russell’s that my mother stops her.

My dad squats down next to Russell, and tilts his hat up. His face goes blank, and his voice becomes deathly calm. I’ve heard that tone before, and it’s no joke.

“Russell, consider yourself fired. Get your things, get your men, and get out of here. And if you know what’s good for, you will never come back here again. If you see me walking down the street, you will cross to the other side. If you see a member of my family in a restaurant in town, you will pay your check and you will leave. And if you ever disrespect another woman, if you so much as wink at a lady without her permission, you best assume that I’m going to hear about it, and it will be the last time you do anything with that eye. Are we understood?”

Russell’s face has gone completely pale. He nods and slowly crawls to his feet without another word. Then he walks out of the barn without making eye contact with anyone, gets in his truck, and speeds out of the drive way. No one says anything for a few minutes, almost as if everyone is frozen in place. Then, of course, it’s Anna who breaks the silence.

“Gah! I always hated that piece of crap.”

Everyone chuckles, happy for the break in tension. But Parrish still looks uncomfortable. She turns around and walks out of the barn, and I have to walk twice as face as I usually do to catch up to her. Behind me, I hear Simone call my name, but I ignore her to follow Parrish. Instead of going to the office, though, she heads for the build site, where the concrete is drying and a few of the construction guys are idling around, as if they are waiting for something. She stops short of ending up in hearing distance of anyone, and when I get to her, I can see she’s crying. She quickly brushes away the tears when I stop at her side.

“I appreciate you standing up for me, Hawk, but did you have to make such a scene?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t know what else to do, Parrish. He had no right.”

“Of course he fucking didn’t. But dammit, Hawk. Do you have any idea how hard it is to do my job already? Half the guys I deal with ask to speak to my boss because they don’t believe a woman can run a ranch. The rest insist on talking to your father because they won’t deal with me at all. Now, they’re going to see me as weak, like I can’t handle myself.”

My shoulders droop. “I’m sorry, Parrish. I didn’t realize. But also, I’m not sorry. There was no way I was going to allow him to get away with that, or keep doing it. And frankly, anyone that questions your ability to run this place isn’t worth your time, or our money. And you should start telling Dad when it happens.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “It’s not that easy, Hawk. But I really do appreciate your support. Thank you.”

One of the construction workers, a guy named Sid who was a few years older than me in school, comes up and shakes my hand. “Hawk! Haven’t seen you in years, man. Nice to have you back in town.”

I shake his hand back, and try to summon up a friendly smile. “You too, Sid.”

“Listen, Hawk. Do you have any idea where Russell went? We’re kind of just waiting around for some direction on how to move forward from here.”

Parrish sighs and looks up at the crystal blue morning sky, frustrated. I have no idea what to say. And then, like a superhero descending on a disaster, my father walks up behind us.

“Sid! My friend. You’re a freelance employee for Russell Edwards, right?”

Sid looks at my dad, a little confused. “Yes, sir.”

My father nods. “Good. I’m going to buy out your contract with Edwards for the rest of this project. Plus a bonus. You’ll answer to my son and Parrish, and it shouldn’t change you schedule at all.”

Parrish steps forward. “Hold on, Sam. I don’t know if we can afford…”

“We’ll make it work. We can take some money out of the emergency fund. I’ll use my retirement money. I don’t care. But you and Hawk can take over things, plan the rest of the project, the workers will answer to you, and that will be that.” Then Dad turns around and walks away. Sid shrugs.

“Whatever. So, what are we doing today?”

I look around at the foundation that’s been laid. “Is the cement dry?”

Sid nods.

“Let’s start on the frame. Get as far as you can today and we’ll reassess at the end of the day. How are we on supplies? Do I need to send anyone for anything?”

Sid looks around behind him and shakes his head. “We’re good to get started. But where can we find you if we have questions?”

I look at Parrish, who seems to have checked out entirely. “You don’t need to find me at all. Parrish is going to be in charge. She knows everything that needs to be done, has all of the plans, and is just as, if not more, capable of keeping things organized.”

Parrish turns to me, her face colored with shock. “Hawk, that’s very considerate of you. But you’re an architect. I’m just a numbers person. I can’t make decisions about building issues.”

“If anything major comes up, you come to me. I’ll be here. But for the most part, these guys know what they’re doing. They know how to read blueprints. All you have to do is keep an eye on materials, and obviously you can bring me in if you have questions.”

She nods, and Sid just shrugs. “Don’t matter me none! As long as I know who to go to when I need money for more materials. Speaking of, when are the plumber and electricians coming in?”

“I can have them both here tomorrow. We have a plumber on retainer because of the complications because the well water, the drainage, and the venting systems, and he suspended his normal work to be on hand for this project. The electrician is just waiting for our call.”

I smile at her. “And you were worried about being in charge? You’ve got this in the bag. I’m going to go finish setting everything up with Dad, and why don’t you take a few minutes to regroup in the office? Then we can meet back up in an hour or so to make sure we’re all on the same page?”

Sid looks back and forth between us, confused. “Is anyone going to tell me where Russell went?”

Parrish laughs sadly. “It’s a small town, Sid. You’ll find out soon enough, I’m sure.”

Sid shakes his head and just wanders away back toward the guys, leaving Parrish and I alone at the edge of the building site. Parrish brushes a stray hair out of her eyes and sighs. “Thank you, Hawk. Really.”

I squeeze her hand quickly, then pull it away. I don’t want any of the guys to think I’m giving her any special favors because of… I see the same concern reflected in her eyes, so I take another step backwards.

“No big deal. I’m going to go talk to Dad. Meet you in the office in a bit?”

She nods, and I turn quickly and walk away, afraid one of us will say something we’ll regret. We seem to have a habit of doing that whenever we’re alone for too long, and I don’t want to ruin any forward momentum we’re managing toward a friendship again. Or maybe something more…

Stop that, Hawk. Just because you have these feelings for her doesn’t mean she could ever feel that way about you. Just because she’s fallen into bed with you a couple of times doesn’t mean anything. She has a different life now, a life that is nothing like your own.

I stop and look around the ranch, and take in the place where I grew up, and how much it has changed. Yet, it’s still somehow so much the same. I try to imagine a situation in which I’d come back here, work here, live here. I try to picture making a life here, a new life, a life like the one my father led. And I can’t imagine it.

But then I realize, I can imagine it. I’m just imagining it happening with Parrish. And that scares the hell out of me. I’m completely lost in the panic of my realizations when I feel a small hand grip my arm gently. I think for a moment it’s Parrish, and I feel my heart swell. Then I turn around, and Simone is standing behind me, batting her eyelashes, and smiling sweetly.

“Hey, hey… Simone,” I stumble.

“You are quite the hero, aren’t you, Hawk?” she says as she runs a finger along my arm. I get the shivers, and not for the reason she probably thinks. I know what she’s thinking, and I’m not interested, but I also don’t feel like I can be a jerk to her while she’s still writing the article.

“I’m not a hero. I’m just doing what’s right. No one should be allowed to treat women like that. It just seems like common sense, I guess. So. I really need to go chat about some things with my dad. I should get on that…” I start to walk away, but she grabs my hand and stops me.

“Hawk, I’d like to talk to you about something. Something unrelated to the farm.”

“Ranch,” I mutter under my breath.

“Whatever,” she says with a wave of her hand. “Can we go out for a proper dinner tonight? In town? I found a vegan restaurant in Missoula and made us reservations.”

My eyes bug out. “Missoula? That’s almost two hours away. I don’t really have time to…”

“Oh, come on now, Hawk. You can take a little time off, can’t you?”

I look over her shoulder at the builders, who are already working on the frame. I start running through everything in my head that I need to do, and all of the plans I need to get organized. I also don’t want to spend a night alone with Simone, two hours from my family. So I start workshopping every plausible scenario I could use to get out of it.

I’m sick?

I have to build the stable myself with my own two hands?

I need to drive my mother to her quilting circle?

Suddenly, the words are just spilling out my mouth. “Oh, shit. I just remembered. I offered to babysit Gracie tonight. I totally can’t. Shoot. Sorry.”

Simone pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. “Are you sure? Can’t someone else watch it?”

My nose instinctively crinkles when she refers to Gracie as “it.” But I try to maintain my pleasant facade. “Very sure. I haven’t gotten to spend any time with my niece, so I wouldn’t feel right cancelling, you know? Maybe some other time, Simone.”

Simone shrugs and tilts her head to the side in an obvious attempt to flirt. “I’ll be here for a while. I’m sure we can find plenty of time to spend together before we leave. And maybe when we get back to Los Angeles too.” She reaches a manicured finger out and taps me on the nose, then winks at me. Luckily, she turns around and heads for the build site before she can see me make a face. Once she’s gone, I head into the house and start brainstorming exactly how I’m going to justify babysitting my niece when no one was planning on going anywhere tonight…