CHAPTER 28
MACKENNA
Jimmy shifted as he sat on the side of my bed and my gaze fell to his erection. His massive erection. It was thick, straight, and long. The barbell piercing just below the tip matched the ones in his nipples.
“You need to tell me what to do,” he said, drawing my attention up to his face. “You call the shots, remember?”
I nodded, eager to have free rein over his body. “Lie down on the bed.”
He did as I said, and his heavy dick rested against his stomach. When I wrapped my hand around it, he let out a quiet hiss. I was transfixed by the velvety softness of it.
But feeling it with my hand wasn’t enough.
Crawling up Jimmy’s body, I straddled him, and I didn’t hesitate as I started rubbing myself on his smooth shaft. My wetness coated his length, making it extra slick.
I moved my hips over him, loving the slide of skin on skin. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
With every pass, my sensitive sex hit every ridge of his cock, and that piercing under his thick head rubbed my clit just right.
My body quivered, a familiar tension building in my core. Needing something to hold on to, my hands landed on Jimmy’s chest and my fingernails dug into his skin.
He let out a sexy growl. “Fuck, babe. I could get off this way.”
“So could I.” I gasped when his hips started moving with mine. “But I want the real thing.”
He froze. “I don’t have a condom.”
“What?” I asked, shocked. “How do you not have condoms?”
“Uh…” He let out a laugh. “I kinda didn’t plan on this happening today. Or any time soon, actually. Remember how I told you I wasn’t into casual sex anymore? Well, I meant it.”
“But this isn’t casual, is it?” As I asked the question, I wasn’t sure what I wanted the answer to be. This arrangement may have started because I wanted to be friends with benefits, but somewhere along the way my feelings for Jimmy had become stronger than that.
His green eyes burned into mine when he said, “No, it’s not.”
“Have you been tested?” I asked, nibbling at my lip.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “And I’ve never gone without a condom.”
“Can you pull out?” I suggested, desperate to feel him inside me.
“Yeah, I can do that. You trust me?”
“Yes.” I let out a relieved sigh.
The truth was that I did trust him. In the past few weeks, Jimmy had shown me over and over what it meant to be respected and cared for. He’d also shown me what it was like to want to have sex so badly I couldn’t see straight.
“How do you want it?” he asked, his hands sliding up my thighs to my stomach.
“I want you on top.”
His hands halted. “Are you sure?”
Nodding, I swung my leg over so I was kneeling next to him. He sat up and cupped my face, running his thumb over my dimple.
“You call the shots,” he whispered again.
Grabbing his shoulders, I brought him on top of me as I fell back onto the pillows, and he positioned himself between my thighs.
With his arms on either side of my head, his large frame bracketed me in. The tip of his cock was poised at my entrance.
There was no panic. No fear. No anxiety. Just his warmth surrounding me, the weight of his body over mine feeling like a security blanket.
“Okay. Are you ready?” he asked, his voice raspy.
Making some sound of agreement, I spread my legs wider. I felt delicious pressure as his head slipped inside.
And when he started gently pumping his hips, my mouth fell open at the way he stretched me, the way that piercing rubbed against my inner walls.
He was barely inside and it felt so good already.
Dipping his head toward mine, Jimmy kissed me slowly as his body stilled. I noticed his shoulders were trembling.
“You’re shaking,” I whispered, running my hands up and down his muscular back.
He huffed out a laugh. “I’m trying really hard not to bury myself in you right now.”
“Do it,” I begged.
“Gotta go slow.” His voice was strained. “Don’t want to hurt you.”
Wiggling my hips, I encouraged him to sink into me, to quell the ache in my center.
With a deep groan, he moved his hips forward, slipping in a fraction more. Slowly inching deeper. Looking down at where we were joined, I noticed he was only about halfway in.
“Holy shit, Jimmy.”
I reached between us to feel his cock. My fingers explored the length that was still exposed. Curiously, I circled the place where he filled me, feeling the wetness there, marveling at the way part of his body disappeared into mine.
Jimmy patiently waited for me to be done with my assessment. When I glanced back up him, his eyes held so much tenderness.
“Okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. “Okay.”
He smirked. “Gimme a minute, and you’re gonna be saying words a lot better than okay.”
“You’re such a cocky ahh—” My insult was cut off when he pushed all the way in, filling me in ways that had never been done before.
The throbbing I felt turned into a new kind of pain. A good pain.
Jimmy held himself there, unmoving.
“Fuuuuck.” He dropped his forehead to mine, his breathing ragged. “Am I hurting you?”
I let out whimper as my body got used to his size.
“It does hurt,” I admitted. “But it feels really good, too.”
“Good,” he grunted. “Because you feel amazing.”
A bit of self-consciousness seeped in. Jimmy said I was in charge, but there was one problem with that.
“I don’t know what to do next,” I confessed in a whisper.
“You don’t have to do anything,” he told me. “Just let me show you how good it can be. Let me show you what it’s supposed to feel like. Keep your eyes open. Watch me. It’s just me.”
“I’ll always know it’s you,” I responded, rubbing my thumb over his bottom lip.
Mouth parting, Jimmy sucked in a breath as he looked down at me with an indescribable expression. Something close to awe. Then his tongue slipped out and licked the tip of my thumb.
I surrendered to him, putting my hands up by my head on the pillow. He kissed the corner of my mouth, before linking his hands with mine.
We were as connected as two people could be, but for some reason it didn’t feel like enough. I wanted more.
I greedily squeezed his hands as I rocked my body under his. Jimmy’s responding groan was my reward.
“You love to make me lose control, don’t you,” he accused, his lips brushing against mine with every word.
Nodding, I smiled against his mouth.
Then he began to move.
His tongue stroked against mine in time with the gentle rhythm of his hips. I let out a long, shuddering moan.
I never thought I would describe sex as magical, but that’s what this was. Pure magic.
Sex with Jimmy was an out-of-body experience. I could almost see myself there, pinned beneath his weight, his body like a shelter to my storm. Thoughts of lurking dangers and fears of intimacy scattered like those coins in Beverly’s kitchen the day we met.
Only, I didn’t need to pick up these pieces; I didn’t want them back.
Instead, I let Jimmy replace the vacant space with something that felt a lot like love.
With every thrust, he filled me up, hitting some spot deep inside of me. Every push and pull of his cock ignited nerve endings I didn’t even know I had. The barbell dragged over my inner walls, massaging places I never would’ve been able to reach with my own fingers.
My already-wet center gushed around him, making the slide of skin on skin slicker. Smoother. Even better.
His lips grazed over mine—not quite a kiss—and I caught his lip between my teeth and tugged. He moaned as the motion of his hips faltered.
“You feel so fucking good.” His voice was shaky. “So. Fucking. Good.” Punctuating each word with a thrust, he buried himself deeper.
I tried to keep my eyes open to watch him, but sensation won out and I gave in to it.
I’d never felt more safe in my life than I did right now. Right here. With Jimmy.
Which meant I wasn’t damaged beyond repair. For a long time, I feared that I would never be able to truly enjoy sex. The immense relief over the realization that I wasn’t broken made me emotional.
Much to my horror, I started to cry.
Tears streamed from my eyes, sliding down my temples into my hair. I gasped out a sob, which turned into a hiccup.
“Mack?” Jimmy asked, slowing to a stop. “Shit. I’m sorry, baby.”
His hands left mine and I grabbed his shoulders to keep him from pulling away. “Don’t. Please don’t go. I’m not crying because I’m upset.”
His face softened because he understood what I meant. “You don’t want to stop?”
Shaking my head, I suppressed another hiccup. “No. It feels really good.”
“Better than okay?” he grinned.
I grinned back through watery eyes. “Way better. Sorry I’m such a mess.”
“You’re perfect. Hiccups and all.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Tell me what to do now.”
From the slightly pained expression on Jimmy’s face, I could see how hard he was trying to restrain himself while he waited for my command.
“Don’t hold back,” I demanded.
Bracing one hand on the headboard above me, he nodded his agreement.
Then he really let me have it—the uninhibited Jimmy.
His lips went to mine and his tongue fucked my mouth in time with hard, deep thrusts. A surprised shout left me at the power of it.
He didn’t let up this time, didn’t hold anything back as he pounded into me over and over again. The sensations were so intense I squirmed, almost trying to get away from it. But if I moved, he moved with me. If I shifted away, he followed.
He was relentless, in the best way possible.
His hand snaked between us and he put pressure on my clit with the pad of his thumb. Sweat slicked our bodies and I couldn’t tell if it was his or mine. Didn’t matter.
I felt something winding up in my center, building, tightening. My legs began to shake. My hands clawed at the sheets. My breaths came out in a series of staggered pants and whimpers.
Heat flooded my cheeks. Not a flush of embarrassment. I was aroused. Needy. So close to getting off.
“Jimmy,” I moaned. “It’s happening.”
He groaned and pushed deeper. “Let me have it, baby.”
His hand went to my hip, anchoring me to the bed as I thrashed under him.
I imagined his cum shooting off inside me, filling me with warmth. I knew it wasn’t rational or responsible, but it turned me on.
I cried out as tremors wracked my body, and I gripped his cock in an orgasm so strong my vision became spotty. I was slightly aware of how loud I was being, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
As the blinding spasms tapered off to erratic flutters, my body went limp and I let out one more moan.
Jimmy gave two more hard thrusts before pulling out.
With a throaty groan, he stroked his dick, spilling jets of cum onto my stomach. Watching him jack himself off made my core clench with another mini-orgasm.
A stillness came over the room, the only sound our ragged panting and pounding hearts.
Our eyes locked.
Both of us wore goofy smiles as Jimmy rested his forehead against mine and we tried to catch our breath. When he leaned over the side of the bed, he came back with his T-shirt and used it to wipe off my belly.
Once I was cleaned up, he tossed it to the floor and fell next to me. “Holy fucking fuck.”
“Uh-huh,” I agreed, still breathless.
Wrapping an arm around my middle, he pulled me flush against his body, then rested his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair as my pulse slowed.
It was a peaceful moment. The most peaceful moment I’d had in years. It was strange how sex—such a mature act—could make me feel innocent again, but it did.
A crack inside my heart had been healed.
At the beginning of the summer I thought I knew what home and happiness felt like, but I was wrong.
Jimmy felt like home now.
And as scary as that realization was, I pushed all fear away because uncertainty didn’t belong here tonight.
Even if this happiness was a temporary reprieve from my solitary existence, I would revel in it for as long as possible.