Chapter 30
Gordon
“Did you find him?” I asked, answering my ringing phone. Each time Drew called me it was the first inquiry I made. I hoped today he had better news for me than that they were trying to follow some leads.
“I’m sorry, Gordon.” His voice was full of so much empathy I believed him. “I know it looks bad. He’s missing now for a week days, but we’ll find him.”
“And what if he’s already skipped town?” I voiced my fears. “What if I never see him again?”
“Hey, you’ve to keep thinking positive. I promise you. I personally will not rest until I find him.”
“Thank you, Drew.”
“It’s the least I can do, man.”
He still carried deep regret over his contribution to Beau being locked up at the police station without just cause. I knew his adamancy to search for Ollie was due in part to that feeling of guilt he harbored.
I hung up and rang my mother who was just as shaken up at Ollie’s disappearance. I had tried to put off telling her for as long as I dared in order not to alarm her, but I hadn’t been able to. Last night I’d finally called her and Barbara’s sister. I was expecting Iris to be here like yesterday and was surprised she wasn’t here already.
“Please tell me he’s home,” mom answered the phone.
“I wish I could ma, but they are still trying to find him.”
“Oh, that poor baby!” she cried. I imagined her standing by the phone with tears streaming down her face. “I don’t understand. Why would he run away, Gordon? Why?”
I hadn’t told her why but now the guilt was too much for me to keep silent. “It was my fault.”
“How? What happened between you two?”
“How soon can you get here?” I asked.
“I can be there tomorrow. Why?”
“I’d rather tell you in person, especially before you hear about it otherwise.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll be there first thing in the morning. Call me if you hear anything.”
“I will.”
I hung up the phone, feeling exhausted. I should have probably called Iris to inform her as well, but I couldn’t deal with her screeching. She had been all emotional on the line, and I’d had to cut her conversation short.
I was about to reach for the file on my desk, to remind myself what I was supposed to be doing, when there was a knock on my door. I glanced up as the door opened. It wasn’t Glenna but four of the truckmen inching inside my office, one by one. At the head was Red. He was the most cantankerous of all the truckers, and I wished I had a reason to fire him, but he was a good driver. He was seasoned and had worked for the company around the same time the original owner had hired me. I identified the other three men as Jeff, Stutter, and Rick.
“Is something wrong?” I asked them. From time to time they complained about a shipment or a client, but I’d never had all four men in my office before.
“Yes, there’s something wrong,” Red answered. “We want our paychecks, and we’re leaving.”
I frowned at him. “I understand the leaving part. You finished your routes. But checks aren’t issued before Friday,” I reminded him.
“You don’t get it,” he spat at me. “We quit.”
I stared from him to the other three men. They had found out about the video. The way they looked at me, eyes hooded with displeasure said it all. I’d suspected this would happen but with Ollie taking up so much of my thoughts, I’d not been able to worry as much about other people coming in contact with that video.
“You guys can’t quit in the middle of the week,” I remarked. “You’re leaving me stranded tomorrow with four fewer guys to take on the workload. You can leave at the end of the week. By then I would have rounded up some new workers.”
Red’s nostrils flared as though he had expected me to argue with him about leaving. That was the last thing I would do. If they didn’t want to be a part of this team because of a stupid reason, I’d oblige them. How dumb could they get to give up their livelihood because of my sexual choice?
“You should be the one to leave this company, not us!” Red announced, his eyes flashing. “I’ve worked in this company for as long as you have. You don’t get to come around here and change up things.”
“And what exactly has changed?” I returned. “The last change we made to this company which was expanding, benefitted you. You started earning more so what exactly are you opposing here, Red?”
“We are not going to work for a boss who goes around screwing other men.”
I could feel myself gearing up for a fight, but tried my best to calm down. I was tired of people projecting their prejudice on me. I merely indicated the door behind him. “If you disagree with what I do in my private life, instead of focusing on your work which you are here for, then, by all means, feel free to go. You can pick up your checks on Friday.”
“We want to buy out the company and take it over,” Red announced, and I shifted upright in my chair. Now they were getting real with me. “Think about it. Nobody’s going to use your services after seeing that video. You’re going to ruin this place. All your workers are going to quit. Together we have the money we can use, plus loans to buy it from you.”
I was silent for about a minute, not contemplating his offer because there was no way I would sell this company. I’d instead go down with it if what he predicted happened. Some amount of truth existed in his words, but I doubted I would lose clients. People in business were more interested in me delivering the services I provided professionally, rather than to be concerned over my sexuality.
I rose to my feet and walked around my desk to the door. I opened it wide for them. “You’ve been great employees, and I wish you’d stay but the decision is yours. You can either stay or go. I’m not going to stop you.”
Red stared at me in disbelief. Did he actually think he could scare me into selling him my company? “This isn’t the last you’ll see of us,” he professed, leading his little posse away. “We’ll start up our own company and ruin you.”
“You’re welcome to try.” I slammed the door shut when they walked out. “Piece of shit.” I hoped everyone else would have heard what went on, so they could leave too if they wanted. I was sick and tired of dealing with ignorant people. To think Ollie would have to live this same struggle that I was going through. As his dad, I wanted to shelter him from it all, but how could I do that when I didn't even know where he was?
I barely took my seat once more when the door to the office opened. I braced myself for another wave of attack from my employees. I groaned when I saw who entered the room.
“Good God, Glenna. Not you too,” I groaned in dismay. “Am I really going to lose you over this stupid video too?”
“It’s not stupid,” she answered, approaching my desk. “I think it was beautiful.”
I blinked up at her in surprise. “What’s that?”
She smiled at me. “I said I think it’s beautiful. Now I know the reason you’ve been happy lately. You both look happy in that video, and you shouldn’t let these idiots keep you apart. True love is rare and does not discriminate according to gender. Be grateful you’ve found it. Embrace it. Many will never experience it.”
My shoulders slumped in relief. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me hearing you say this. It’s been hell, Glenna. The police still haven’t found Ollie.”
“Oh no. Is this the reason he left?” she asked, her eyes wide with horror.
I nodded. “I don’t know what else to do. For so long I tried to do what the society wanted. The one moment I try to be happy, everything starts blowing up in my face.”
“Give it time. I’m sure everything will turn out.”
“In the meantime, I’m down four truckers,” I remarked.
“Five,” she stated. “Carlos walked with them. You mark my words, Gordon. They are all going to be coming back with their tails tucked between their legs to get back their jobs. In the meantime, do you want me to call Marshall’s?”
“Yes, please. Try to organize a meeting with us tomorrow.”
“Will do. Why don’t you go home and relax? I’ll take care of things here and close up. It’s almost the end of the day anyway.”
I decided to take her up on the offer and hugged her on my way out. The employees I ran into refused to meet my eyes. More of them probably wanted to leave too but couldn’t afford to quit their jobs. Tomorrow I would sign a contract with Marshall’s for them to supply us with drivers. Marshall Ford was the owner of a company which hired on drivers to other trucking companies. He should be able to fill my shortage, especially if I wound up losing more workers.
I was too tired to cook, so I picked up some hot wings and a large pepperoni pizza with pineapple slices just the way Charlie liked it. I was desperately trying to connect with the one child I had left at home. She still gave me the silent treatment no matter what I did.
I was surprised to find her already at home when I got there. Usually, she would be at the community center rehearsing for the play. She was on the phone when I walked in but quickly hung up the phone and made for the stairs.
“Charlie, will you come back so we can have dinner?” I asked her. “Please. Ollie’s gone. You’re all I have at home, and I can’t lose you too.”
Her shoulders still squared, she retreated from the stairs and shuffled by me to the kitchen. I didn’t bother to insist we eat in the dining room. There were too many bad memories from the last time I’d seen Ollie. We were silent as we sat around the table and dug into the pizza. I racked my brain trying to think of something to say, but my mind was blank. I didn’t know how to get my daughter to talk to me again.
“How’s school?” I finally asked.
“Good.”
“Got any tests lately? How are they going?”
“Fine.”
I reached for another hot wing to give myself an excuse to not attempt a follow-up question. She was shutting down every question I asked her.
“Is Ollie ever coming home?” she asked.
I wanted to tell her yes, but I couldn’t lie to her. I didn’t have a clue. “I’m not sure, hon. I hope so. They are looking for him.”
“Who’s they?”
“The police.”
“Everybody’s talking about it at school,” she said. “About you and Mr. Moreau and Ollie disappearing.”
“I’m sorry, Charlie.” I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. “I didn’t mean to turn your world upside down. All I wanted was a chance to seize the moment and be with someone who loved me in return.”
“And is it worth it now Ollie’s gone?” she asked, scraping her chair back and getting to her feet. Her face was red with anger. “You selfishly chose you over us. You didn’t care how this would affect us at all, or you wouldn’t have done this with my teacher!”
“Charlie, I need you to understand that I didn’t intend for any of this to happen.” I was prepared to bare my soul to her this once, but I couldn’t keep doing this. “Falling in love with Beau was not something I expected to happen. I had no intentions of being with anyone, especially so soon after your mom passed. But, Beau walked into our lives and I’m sure you know he’s a wonderful person. You’ve told me time and time again how much of a wonderful teacher he is. And he loves me too. I didn’t expect you to accept the situation immediately, but I didn’t expect this from my own children.” I could hear the anguish in my voice. “Other people can say what they want, but I only wanted your approval, and Ollie’s. I know I could never be with Beau if you guys were going to be unhappy about it, but I hoped that you would be able to accept our love for each other. Don’t I deserve to be happy too? Ollie’s old enough to leave. Within two years you’ll be leaving for college too. What then? It will just be me alone in this big empty house while you are off to fall in love and start your own family. I want the best for you. Why can’t you want the best for me too?”
Instead of answering, she turned and pounded up the stairs. I heard her bedroom door slam shut. I had no reason to cry anymore. I was over it. If this was what they wanted, for me to be single, then I’d put their happiness first. I would have to give up Beau, as much as it hurt, but the kids would at least be happy.
I packed the leftovers in the fridge before trudging up the stairs. I took a shower, my mind flooded with thoughts of showers taken at Beau’s apartment. I would never know his touch again, his kisses. I would always cherish those memories. It was just about all I could do.
After showering, I did laundry and straightened up the house. By the time I was finished, I was tired again. I couldn’t bother to climb the stairs, so I collapsed on the long sofa and turned on the television. I flipped through the different channels and landed on a basketball game. Oh, how things had changed. I’d lost my wife, my best friend, my son, and my boyfriend. And I may have lost my daughter as well.
While watching the game, I fell into a deep sleep because I was exhausted from the nights of setting up, worrying about Ollie. I was too tired to keep my eyes opened this night, however. I must have slept long and hard, but something woke me up. I almost stiffened but relaxed myself and my breathing when I felt what it was, covers being pulled over my frame. I cracked my eyes open to find Charlie spreading the bed covers from my bed over me. I shut my eyes tightly, but the tears still seeped through.
I had no idea what her gesture meant, but hope blossomed inside me once more.