2
Pacey
It was deeply seeded in my DNA to help people. In a way, it had been a curse most of my life to put other people before me.
But I couldn’t help it. It was wrong to turn away even though I had every reason to when I found him lying in the alleyway that evening.
“Hello?” I called softly into his ear. “Wake up…”
I picked up and dropped his arm several times. He must have drank a lot to be in this state.
I had no idea what he was doing here in this city. He left so long ago and I thought my memories of us together had finally faded into oblivion.
But who was I kidding?
It all resurfaced as soon as I touched his hand to feel how cold he was. Four years of memories came back to me in a sudden blast to my chest.
My muscles tensed up and my jaw clenched.
I looked him up and down.
He had on a black v-neck t-shirt that dipped low on his chest. I caught a glimpse of the fine and luscious layer of hair that covered the tattoos on his chest. I didn’t remember him having any tattoos or chest hair.
What made me even more curious was a tattooed script right below his collarbone that extended beyond what was visible. I wondered what it said.
He was familiar and mysterious at the same time.
I thought I knew everything about him before we drifted apart. But he seemed like a completely different person after seeing him again that evening.
People would definitely be talking about it if they saw him here passed out on the streets. Seeing him there—of all places, back in our hometown—made me think up of so many stories of why he’d come back. It was like finding buried treasure, but now I had to find a way to hide him before other people saw.
“Adam,” I called out softly.
There was a break in his snoring, so he must have been at least slightly conscious. But his eyes were still closed and he mumbled something.
When he opened his eyes slightly, I got a glimpse of his dark blue eyes that opened yet another door of lost memories.
It was overwhelming to feel so many things at once, and I almost had to sit down next to him to calm myself down.
I slapped his face gently. My fingers grazed against his stubble which felt different from when he was cleanly shaven.
What did I get myself into?
There was no way in hell I was going to be able to wake him up. He was passed out stone cold.
I got up and tried to put one of his arms around me and used all my strength to haul him up. I wrapped my arm around him to try and stand him up. I managed to get him a couple feet off the ground before the weight of his body pulled me down on top of him.
My beige overcoat was now covered in dirt and my arm was wedged between him and the ground. My face was inches from his, and I was reminded of how chiseled his face was, how soft his lips looked.
I pulled my arm out from underneath him and sat down. I leaned against the brick building since I was already dirty, trying to think of what I was going to do.
This wasn’t the first time I had to save Adam, and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the last.
I tried to catch my breath as I glanced over in the street to see if anyone was around to help. But the streets were still quiet.
Suddenly, I saw two people walk past, and I quickly got up and darted out into the streets. The cold rush of wind brushed against my face as I called out to them.
“Hey,” I said, panting. “Can you please help?”
The man and woman, who were holding hands, turned around and glanced at me. They continued walking.
I quickened my pace to run in front of them so that they would stop walking. It was unusual for me to approach strangers like that, but I was desperate.
“Can you please help?” I asked.
They looked me up and down, their eyes judged my dirty clothes after I’d fallen down in the alleyway.
“Sorry, we don’t speak English,” the man said in a thick French accent.
They never stopped walking and continued up the street.
There was no one else there. I was starting to worry that I’d have to spend an evening out here in the cold—with someone who I thought was completely out of my life.
I put both my hands on the sides of my head, wracking my brain to think of what to do. I was out of ideas.
I walked against the sharp wind back towards the alleyway, I saw that he was still passed out. I wondered how one person was able to take up so much of my mental and physical energy. Hell, even when he left six years ago, I was still thinking about him.
Maybe it was fate that I found him there that night.
Maybe it wasn’t over yet.
But if I didn’t come up with something fast, we’d both freeze to death tonight.
I walked back into the darkness, this time less afraid, knowing exactly who was on the other end of it.
It was just Adam.
Even after such a long time, I still felt a sense of comfort in his presence. For years, he was in my dreams, or in fleeting memories during my everyday life.
But now, it was real.
He was here and I had to find some way to either wake him up or get him somewhere safe.
I took a breath and mustered up all the strength I had. Standing over him, I grab under his arms and hoisted him up. It took nearly everything I had to pull him up and stabilize him against the brick wall.
He mumbled something inaudible, as I wrapped his arm around me. Step by step, we made our way towards the light again. Several times, I had to rest him on the wall so that he wouldn’t drag us both to the ground.
Even in the cold, I could smell his distinguished scent that he wore proudly and never covered up. It was the smell of a man in its pure form, the smell of power and confidence, and home.
In his drunkenness, Adam rested his head against my shoulder, and it made it much easier to walk this way. His hair brushed right against my cheek and I could smell the sweetness of the pomade he used to slick it back.
“Almost there,” I said, as if he was conscious enough to hear me.
I didn’t even know where we were going to go, only that it was nice getting back out on the street.
As we made it out of the alleyway, I saw a taxi driver drop someone off nearby. As he drove towards our direction, I waved my arms trying to get his attention. He slowed down and I could see him glance over at me, then at Adam, who was still passed out leaning on my shoulder.
He shook his head, then sped off.
“Really?” I said.
I couldn’t believe he just drove off like that. I thought he’d turn around at the end of the street but he really did just drive off.
The street was once again quiet.
It felt like so long ago since Amanda went home. The concert we played earlier that evening felt even more distant. I played imaginary music in my head to calm me down. I could easily playback the songs that I’d practiced for months in my head like a record player.
Nocturne in A Minor set the tone of that walk to nowhere.
The tune in my head harmonized with the sounds of the wind sweeping through the branches and the mystery of Adam being back in our hometown.
We turned a corner and I could see a coffee shop two blocks away. It was illuminated by a red sign against the blue and grey city backdrop. I knew that one was opened twenty-four hours. I went there often at three in the morning for more coffee during exam season in college. It would give me a bit of time to think of what to do and get us out of this cold.
As we walked towards the coffee shop, gravity kept reminding me of how heavy Adam was.
The cold felt like we were in the Arctic trying to make it to a shelter. The distance made it seem like we were in a desert chasing a mirage.
It was two blocks of dragging, pulling, and grabbing, to try and keep Adam upright.
Two blocks of wanting to give up and put his body back down, but I persevered.
We made it.
We walked into the coffee shop, through the set of double doors into the vestibule. I was rewarded with a warm stream of air that hit my frostbitten cheeks.
As I walked Adam inside, the worker behind the counter glanced at us, then she looked away. She was probably used to all the drunk people coming in and out at this hour.
I set him down in a booth, one that wasn’t occupied by a homeless person who had used it as a shelter for the night.
I supported Adam on the seat and leaned him against the window. His head hit the glass a bit harder than I intended it to. But I figured he was alright because he was still snoring heavily.
I collapsed onto the seat across from him, licking my cracked and dried lips from being out in the cold for so long.
What a mission.
I looked down at my clothes which were pretty much ruined by trying to get him here.
I looked at his face, his mischievous smirk in his sleep. It was a smirk that I had never forgotten and one that was now plastered on billboards all over the city.
I couldn’t forget him if I tried.
It would be like trying to avoid all the Christmas decorations around this time of year or crazy hordes of people during Black Friday.
I’d never know how I ever managed to bump into Adam that night.
I glanced around the quiet coffee shop. There were no more than ten people in there.
A college student with headphones on sat in the corner was cramming for a test. An elderly gentleman, with a steaming cup of coffee, looked at a blank wall across from where he were sitting. A homeless person by the window laid his head on a backpack that was sitting on the table. Two women, in sweatpants and slippers, were deep in conversation. A baby slept peacefully next to a mom reading a book who was pushing the stroller back and forth.
I made sure there was no one who was going to harm or bother Adam before I headed to the front counter to order something. The girl behind the counter was on her phone.
As I approached, she put her phone away. She looked like she was in college. She had a pink highlight that ran along one side of her hair that was tied into a messy bun.
“What can I get you?” She asked, chewing aggressively on a piece of gum.
I ordered a hot chocolate and a bottle of water, planning to give it to Adam when he finally woke up—whenever that was.
She took my money and she turned around to prepare my drink then she handed the cup to me.
“Is that Adam Black?” She asked.
I glanced over at Adam whose legs were dangling off the seats still passed out.
“My friend? No, he gets that a lot,” I lied.
“Are you sure?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Of course, I’m sure. What would he be doing here in this city?” I asked.
How ironic was it that I didn’t know the answer to that question myself.
“That’s true. Well, damn I was hoping it was, that’d definitely make this boring shift more interesting. I even took a photo of him and I was about to send it to my friends.”
“You what?”
“Well, don’t worry about it now. I’ll delete it.”
“You better,” I warned.
I thanked her again for the hot chocolate and the water and went back to where Adam was laying down. I felt guilty for lying to her, but the last thing I wanted was for people to see how trashed he was.
I sat down and held the green and red festive cup in my hands as it brought circulation back to the tip of my fingers.
I looked at Adam, and I just couldn’t stop staring. I remembered each freckle and every curve and edge of his gorgeous face.
It was too much for me. I had to hold myself back from all the emotions I was feeling in that coffee shop on that Tuesday night.