21
Adam
Christmas Eve
It’d been over a week since my mom’s party. Since then, I’d been feeling weird about the whole situation between Pacey and me. I was worried that someone at the party may have noticed what happened in the washroom.
But I couldn’t control my urges that evening, especially because I had a few drinks in me. Pacey was so sexy that evening, and I couldn’t help it.
Pacey was the kind of grounded reality that I needed in my life.
Performing on stage in front of a crowd of hundreds of people, sometimes thousands, made me feel like I was some kind of God. I hated how people treated me, and more and more I was acting reckless like I was immortal.
But Pacey had always treated me like a human being. Like a good friend.
I was in the backseat of the Escalade, heading to the hotel after doing a promo for the band’s new Christmas album. All the guys were in the car.
Though we had been acting like bros when the cameras were on, the mood now had completely changed.
It was silent in the car. The chemistry we had with each other when we first started the band had now become a chore.
“Hey Gray, I left my headphones where you’re sitting earlier, can you pass them back to me?” I asked.
His gaze was set out the window looking out on the snowy backdrop of the city.
“Gray?” I said, a bit louder.
He gave me no reaction.
It didn’t help that Gray was a passive-aggressive asshole. I gave up. I wished I wasn’t constantly surrounded by people I fucking hated.
It was Christmas Eve, and I’d always dreaded it.
When I was younger, it had just been another day. The whole Christmas shebang had never been a big deal in my life. At least, that was what I tried to tell myself because of how shitty it was in the past.
I lowered my expectations for it altogether. The only memories I had of opening presents under a tree was when I was seven, before my dad left the picture.
This year, I was supposed to spend it with Simon and my mom at her house. Simon had no idea that we never celebrated Christmas before he met us. In fact, he had no idea of our past at all.
Simon discovered me by stumbling on a video online of me singing in a high school talent show. He reached out to the school to ask how he could contact me.
Then, he flew me and my mom out to Los Angeles and treated us to the most extravagant meals and activities. I remembered how beautiful his home was. I didn’t know houses could be that big.
He had me sing a bunch of samples, and he pitched the idea of starting a band. Then, the name Kingdom came up because he thought my eyes looked powerful like a lion.
The band was created before there were any other members. He recruited the drummer, bassist, and keyboardist. Then, the name changed to Kingdom 4.
We arrived at the hotel.
The car dropped us off at the side door to the kitchen. There were paparazzi waiting there now that they knew that was where we were getting in and out.
Two of my guards created a path for us, as I ducked my head down to head inside.
I went straight up to my hotel room and laid on the freshly made bed. The cool plush down comforter consumed my body. I sank down into it with my arms out like an angel. Soon, I drifted to sleep.
*****
I was woken up by my phone ringing.
I let out a huge yawn, and I took my phone out of my pocket ready to chuck it across the room. But then I saw it was Pacey calling, and I couldn’t have answered it quicker.
“Hey handsome,” I said, burying my face in my pillow.
“Hey, how’s your day going?” He asked.
“It’s going—super long day and pretty tired. Just got back to the hotel,” I said, looking at the alarm clock on the bedside table to see how long I’d been sleeping for.
“Nice, long day already?” Pacey asked. “It’s only noon.”
“Yeah. Did some promo with the band, so we had to get up early. Just another day, I guess. What are you up to?”
“Just laying here with Cadence in my bed. You?”
“Same...why aren’t we laying down together?” I asked, imagining his sexy body next to mine.
“Good question...I’d love that right now. I need it, actually,” Pacey said, sounding needy. “If you don’t have any plans for the next few hours, you should stop by. It’s Christmas Eve, though. So if you’re busy, it’s cool.”
“I got no plans until tonight, I’d love that actually,” I said, propping myself up against the headboard.
The thought of seeing Pacey again woke me up instantly.
“Come by anytime, I’ll be here. We can head back into the city together later, I’m going to my parents’ for Christmas Eve dinner.”
“Alright Pace, that sounds great actually,” I said, with a smile I couldn’t wipe off. “I’ll come now. See you soon.”
I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to wash my face. Then, I was about to call my driver, but I figured that he’d relay my whereabouts back to my mom or Simon.
I didn’t want anyone to know where I was. Being at Pacey’s was a break from it all, and I loved how it was far away from everyone.
There was a card next to the TV with a list of phone numbers, and I ran my finger down the list to find a taxi service. I called the number to send a taxi and asked them to give me a call when they arrived.
I looked down onto the streets to see the paparazzi still standing outside. Didn’t they have to be with their families for Christmas Eve?
I had to plan an exit and I knew it was going to be difficult, and probably impossible to avoid them. I put on a pair of sunglasses and baseball cap, and pulled my hoodie over my cap.
When the taxi arrived, I headed downstairs to the lobby, then briskly walked to the taxi.
The paparazzi got in my space, and I had to shove some of the cameras out of my face. I knew it wasn’t a good look, but I was so fucking fed up with their aggression.
“Who’s your new man?” One of them asked.
I nearly swung a punch at him. But I managed to remain as calm as I could until I got into the car.
“Just drive for a bit,” I said. “I’ll give you the address once we lose them.”
He put the car in gear, and we sped away from the hotel.
It was snowing a lot harder than it was earlier that day. The traffic was at a standstill because it was hard to see even five feet in front of us.
We moved at a crawling pace. The snow made me feel safe, like a blanket that protected me from the world.
We passed by the high school that Pacey and I went to, the old brick facade looked the same as it did six years ago. The large oak tree that I used to chainsmoke cigarettes under looked a bit bigger.
Then, there was the large football field with snow that covered the bleachers. I spent most Friday nights there picking up girls. It was easy because the jocks were busy on the field, which gave me an opportunity to flirt on the bleachers.
I couldn’t believe that I would go back to sunny Los Angeles soon, then back on the road again. Fuck, I missed this place.
I arrived at Pacey’s and saw a warm glow of light coming from his living room window. Cadence was on the couch looking at the falling snow outside.
I thanked and paid the taxi driver, giving him a hundred dollar bill, which was the only cash I had in my pocket.
“Thanks, sir. Let me give you change,” he said.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said without looking at the meter. “Merry Christmas.”
I was glad to finally be at Pacey’s and I couldn’t wait to see him.
I climbed up the steps of his porch and looked in his window, and poked my head inside. Cadence’s ears perked up when he saw me and let out a quiet bark which got Pacey’s attention. Pacey was standing at the kitchen island on his laptop.
He smiled and walked to the front door.
As soon as he opened it, I grabbed him and held him in my arms, as he buried his face in my chest.
“Missed you, brother,” I said.
“I’m glad you came today,” he said.
I gave him a kiss on the forehead, taking in the scent of his hair, feeling his warm hands run under my shirt, against my back.
Cadence wagged his tail by my feet.
I noticed that he had a collar with sleigh-bells on it, making a jingling noise whenever he moved. I reached down and scratched him behind the ears, as he jumped up to attack my face and went to lick my beard.
Pacey closed the door behind me, and I took my boots off. The warm glow I noticed outside was a pine scented candle on his coffee table.
He led me to his kitchen, where he had a bunch of ingredients sitting on the island.
“Making something?” I asked.
“I was thinking of gingerbread cookies to bring to my parents tonight,” Pacey said.
“The ones that your mom used to make every Christmas?” I asked.
“Yeah, you remember?”
“Of course, those cookies were like crack, they were so addictive. You have the recipe?”
“I think so,” he said, walking to his drawer and pulling out a stack of wrinkled recipes. He sifted through them, some of them were cut out of magazines, and some were handwritten on a piece of napkin. He found a piece of paper that looked like it had been ripped from the corner of a notebook.
“Ahh, found it,” he said, waving it in the air.
“The best gingerbread cookies in the world,” I read on the top of the page written in blue pen.
“That’s definitely something your mom would call them,” I laughed.
“She’s not wrong, they’re really good,” Pacey said. “Wanna make them together?”
“Nah, I’ll just watch you and chill with Cadence.”
He shot me a look, letting me know that he wasn’t impressed.
“I’m just kidding, Pace. Of course, I’ll make them with you,” I said, thinking back to the times when we had made the same cookies as teenagers. Those were the most recent memories I had of a real Christmas.
We portioned out the ingredients. We had to improvise some of them because the writing was smudged and it was difficult to read exactly what it said.
Pacey put me on icing duty.
He was a bossy boy in the kitchen, and I kind of liked him bossing me around. It was a bit of a turn on.
In the background, Pacey had the radio on that played the classic Christmas tunes. For some reason, I didn’t mind as much as I thought I would.
Then, I heard a familiar beat, and we looked at each other when we heard my voice over the radio. It was my band’s Christmas single.
“This is a jam,” Pacey said, shaking his ass while washing some dishes. I felt blood rush to my cheeks, hearing the cheesy lines that I was forced to sing in the studio.
“Turn it off, Pace,” I demanded.
“No, let it play,” he said.
“I mean it, Pace. I hate this song,” I said.
“Then why did you record it?” He asked.
“Because I was forced to. I don’t get to choose what songs I sing.”
He continued to shake his ass which looked plump in his light blue acid washed jeans.
I went up to him and smacked it hard. Water from the tap splashed all over him, then I changed the station of the radio that was sitting on the counter.
“Hey!” He shouted over a different song that was playing.
He smacked his hand across my face playfully, leaving a soapy print on my beard.
“Did you just slap me?” I said.
He had a flirty smirk on his face and he took a step back from me not knowing what I was about to do to him. I reached behind to the kitchen island and swiped my fingers on the wooden spoon with red icing all over it.
“Don’t you dare,” he said.
I took a step towards him, cornering him against the kitchen counter. He grabbed my wrists and tried to wrestle them away.
He didn’t stand a chance, I was so much stronger than him. With a bit of force, I was able to get the icing on his nose as he squirmed all over.
Cadence, with his sleigh-bell collar, was by our feet trying to join into the craziness. I put my hands on the counter, trapping Pacey’s body against mine, then pushed up against him.
“You look like Rudolf, with red icing on your nose,” I teased.
“I hate you,” he said, unable to move away.
I looked down and saw that he had a raging hard-on, pulsing underneath his jeans.
“Really? Because that tells me otherwise,” I said, eyeing his boner that was pressed up against mine.
His cheeks turned almost as red as the icing, I leaned in and licked the icing off his nose.
He finally stopped squirming around and accepted the fact that I had control over him. Then, he leaned in and kissed my lips, the icing on his nose smudged onto mine.
“Who looks like Rudolf now?” He said.
In the background, the radio continued to play, and then a beat came on that I was familiar with. It was another song of mine, not a Christmas song but one I actually liked.
I let him free from my hold, and went back to the kitchen island and used a paper towel to wipe the icing off my face.