I exhale as I stare out over downtown LA. We’re on the 47th floor of some high-rise. Hud rented out this luxurious apartment to play CEO in some porn rip off of Fifty Shades of Grey. The city looks so dingy and filthy from way up here, something you don’t really realize when you’re down on the sidewalks. A blanket of smog hangs over the distant horizon. And I think maybe this is what my fucking life is like, LA. I don’t see how repulsive my life looks to someone way up here in an ivory tower, I just see it from street level. Fuck her for making me question myself. I turn away from the window and catch Hudson dragging some lighting across the floor.
He positions the lamp at the foot of the wrought iron bed then looks over his shoulder at me. “That should do. Oh, by the way, two guys called in sick, so I had to pull Jemma to help out. If it’s gonna be an issue, go ahead and pop a Viagra.”
“Fucking great,” I groan, digging the pill bottle out of my pocket and popping the top. I plop a pill in my mouth and swallow as I turn back to the window.
A few minutes later the bell rings. I lean my forearm against the glass and keep staring out at the representation of my fucking life at the moment. The tap of her heels over the hardwoods echoes from the tall ceilings.
“Sorry I was late,” she says. “Traffic was a bitch.”
“No problem. Can you go grab the reflectors over there, chicken?”
“Sure,” Jemma says.
When I turn around, Hud’s got his phone to his ear. “Where are you?” he says. “The…” His palm slaps across his face, and he shakes his head. “No, I didn’t get the message. This is fucking great. What the hell am I gonna do now?” He pauses, his eyes rising to meet mine. “Fine. Fine. Call me when you’re better.” He tucks his phone into his pocket then throws his hands up.
“Brandi’s got the fucking flu now too.” An agitated groan rumbles from his chest. “Do you have any idea what I had to pay to rent this apartment? Jesus Christ.” He wipes his hands down his face and shakes his head. “This is such shit.”
There’s a loud thud when Jemma drops one of the reflectors. Hud and I both watch as she bends over to pick it up. Fuck her ass looks good.
“Oh, shit.” His gaze drifts from her to me and then a sick smile twists his face.
“Oh, fuck no!” I say, shaking my head because I know what he’s thinking. “No way, Hud.”
He ignores me. “Jemma, doll, sweetheart…you want to make some extra money?”
I stalk across the room toward them. “Hell to the fuck no!” I shout.
Her attention directs to me, her eyes narrowing into a glare. “Oh, really?”
“Jemma, no.”
Cocking her hip to the side, she crosses her arms over her chest and arches a single brow. “And who the hell are you to tell me what to do?” She smiles.
“Johnny,” Hudson says, stepping between us. “Chill the fuck out, would you? Somebody’s fucking someone because I paid too much for this place to not get a scene.”
Benson walks in with a cigarette between his lips and Jemma goes into a laughing fit. “Why don’t you get the two of them to do it?” she points at Benson and me.
Benson takes a drag, shrugging as he blows a thick cloud of smoke between his lips.
“I’m not fucking you,” I say.
“Yeah, I know,” he says. “I’d be fucking you.”
My initial instinct is to punch him in the face, but I don’t. “It’s in my contract I don’t do guy on guy.”
Jemma’s laughing so hard she has to lean over her knees to catch a breath.
“No anal,” Hud says, “but what about a little oral?”
“No.”
“Handjob?”
“Fuck no!”
“Jesus Christ!” He pulls his phone from his pocket and dials a number. “Benson, if I can get Ricardo up here, you’re fucking him in the ass, okay?”
“Sure thing,” Benson says before flopping back on the bed.
“So, what am I supposed to do?” I ask.
“Well, if you won’t let Benson take your virginal ass, you can help Jemma with the reflectors.”
Smiling, Jemma prances over to me and hands me a reflector. “Tyler,” she says. “Letting a guy fuck you in the ass doesn’t make you gay, you know? It just makes you a well-rounded porn star.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up.”
Her smile deepens. “Are you that insecure, babe? Afraid you might like getting your prostate milked?”
Benson laughs from the corner of the room.
All I can do is glare at her. “I’m straight.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Benson says. “I’m straight.”
Fucking great. I’ve just offended the angry, bald guy. “Man, if you don’t mind taking it up the ass, that’s your business. I don’t want anything in my ass.”
“Pussy,” Benson says under his breath.
Shaking my head, I walk off before I blow up on both of them. I don’t know how we got here. Why the hell do I let her get to me like this? I can’t blame her for not wanting to give us a second chance, but it still makes me angry. While I’m cooling off, the Viagra takes effect, and my cock springs to life. Within a matter of seconds, it’s harder than fucking concrete, and I keep adjusting it my jeans. Fuck.
“Hey, Johnny,” Hudson calls from across the room. “I left a message. I don’t know if Ricardo can make it. Just give me a blow job scene. I’ll double your pay.”
“No fucking way!” I shout.
Hudson places his hand on my shoulder, and I jerk away from him. “Look, just let Benson suck your cock—”
“Now why the hell do I have to suck his cock?” Benson groans.
Hudson drags his hands down his face, obviously annoyed as shit. “For the love of…because do you think this fucker is gonna know how to suck a dick? Hell no.”
I hold both hands up and take a step away from Hud. “Look, I’m not putting my dick in his mouth.”
“Jemma,” Hud says, crossing the room. “What about you?”
“Uh…” she mumbles something under her breath.
My blood boils underneath my skin. I can’t believe he’s even fucking asking her, and I can’t believe she’s even contemplating this.
“No, Hud. She’s not doing it.”
“Oh,” she glares at me from across the room. “Fuck you. I’m a grown ass woman, and if I want to suck a dick, I’ll suck a dick.”
“Jemma…”
“Sure, I’ll do it.”
“Thank you, chicken,” Hud says with a wolfish grin. “Now, I know you and Johnny have some weird shit between the two of you, so Benson I’ll let you have the honor of breaking her in.”
My pulse goes erratic, and my fingers dig into my fist.
“Nope. Fuck this. I’ll do it,” I say before I even realize the words have come out of my mouth. I’m already halfway across the room and undoing my fly. What the fuck?
Hud turns to look at me. “You don’t have to. Jemma is perfect—”
“Nope. Guy on guy will do better anyway.” I pull my cock out and fist it. It’s hard as shit, but I’m a little afraid even Viagra won’t be able to keep him erect for this shit.
Jemma has gone slack jaw. “Are you serious?”
“Do I look fucking serious?” I nod toward my engorged cock and her eyes follow my gesture.
“What the hell. You’re…” her eyes move away from my dick. “You’re hard?”
“Fuck. I took a Viagra. Of course I’m hard.”
“So, basically, what I’m hearing is that a few months into doing porn your cock’s already broken?”
Damn, she’s a bitch. “No, my cock works just fine. You should know that from the other night.”
“Ohhhh,” Benson snorts from the side of the room. “Burn.”
Jemma’s angry glare shoots over to Benson. “I didn’t fuck him.”
“Hey, none of my business if you did.”
Jemma turns back to face me. “You’re a fucking Neanderthal,” she says with a hiss.
“Yeah, well, you can thank me later for not letting you embarrass the shit out of yourself.”
Her brows pinch together as an angry scowl works its way over her face. “Oh, what are you trying to say? That I can’t suck dick?”
“Oh, no. We all know how well you suck dick, but you see, that was your boyfriend, remember? It’s different, and seeing as how disgusted you are by porn stars, wouldn’t want you to taint that perfect little reputation you have.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she groans.
“Just go get the goddamn reflector would you?”
Hudson’s already flipped on the lights and is behind the camera.
“So, what do you want me to do?” I ask.
“Lie down on the bed..well, get naked first, then get on the bed and just take it. If you get inspired and want to flip over and let him get some ass action—”
I glare at him.
“No…okay, well, the offer’s there. You’re a star, Johnny. A true star.”
I shake my head as I strip down. When I lie back on the bed, Benson’s pulling his clothes off.
“Oh, shit…he’s gotta get naked too?”
Hud peers around the camera. “Uh, yeah.”
“Fuck,” I groan.
Jemma’s hysterically laughing on the side of the room.
My heart feels like it’s going to explode and I have this visceral reaction to shove Benson across the room when he slides into the bed next to me.
“Look, my dick may touch your thigh, just deal with it,” he says before grabbing my dick.
Nothing about this feels right. His hand is big and rough and just fuck me, I have a man’s hand on my cock. I’m sorry little dude. I never meant to do this to you.
Closing my eyes, I drag in a breath. The next thing I feel is a warm mouth on my cock and I jump. It feels like a dude’s mouth, and don’t ask me to explain what that feels like, but it’s just not the same as a girl’s.
“Uh, Johnny,” Hud says.
I don’t open my eyes because if I see Benson’s lips wrapped around my stiff cock, I may vomit.
“Yeah?”
“Can you not look like Benson’s chewing your damn dick off? You look like you’re in pain.”
Jemma snorts in the background.
“Chicken, you gotta keep your shit together,” Hud says. “Okay, let’s start over.”
“What? Start over?” I ask, panicked.
“Yep.”
“Oh, fuck…” I sit up and the sight of Benson leaned over my dick nearly causes me to jump out of the bed. “Give me a second, man. Just give me a second.”
“Really?” Benson says, rolling his eyes. “You are a fucking pussy. Jesus Christ. It’s not like I’m fingering your asshole or anything.”
Jemma’s laughing again. I glance over at her and flip her the bird. After a few minutes of pep talking myself and apologizing to my dick again, I lie back on the bed and prepare for the feeling of whiskers brushing against my lower abdomen.
I close my eyes…I feel him looming over me….
“What fresh pile of shit is this?” My eyes fly open when I hear the sound of Ricardo’s voice. That sound is like sweet redemption to me.
“Oh, thank fucking God,” I breathe. I hop out of the bed, snatching my jeans from the floor.
Ricardo is standing with his hands on his hips, his lips pursed. “I know you aren’t trying to step into my territory?”
“Oh, fuck no. I’m not.”
“Then what,” he waves his finger in the air, “is this?”
“Just don’t ask,” I say stepping to the side. “But, he’s all yours.”
I finish dressing just as Hud walks out from behind the camera. “I appreciate that, but you know what? I’m never gonna ask you for guy on guy again, you looked like shit.”
“I’m fine with that. Trust me.”
“You can go home if you want,” he says. “I guess I won’t see you again until after your trip.”
“Yeah,” I shake my head. “Sounds good, man.”
I leave without saying a word to her, go home, and immediately take a shower to wash the feel of his lips off my cock which takes a lot of soap and basically leaves me with a raw dick.